Midvalley

Thats good advice, thanks. Theres a lot more backstory and many more events to go into, so unfortunately no advice can be perfect. I'm sorry to hear about your wife, I hope things work out for the best.

It seems like you have a few issues to discuss, maybe you could reply and better explain them. As for setting your standards too high...I dont really think thats possible. If you know what you want in a person you can find it, it just takes time. It may be a better approach then settling for people you dont like and ending up heartbroken.

Dont be so hung up on relationships. Learn to love yourself first, because you'll have to be with yourself for much more then a lifetime. Loving someone doesnt mean you have to be in a relationship with them, and im proud of your respect of commitment. Though one should be more commited to the ones he/she loves, as opposed to those he/she is obligated to. If the man you love, loves you too, you should be together. Sure, his significant other would be heartbroken, and his virtue damaged, but you only get one life, live it how you want. Its never too late for you, dont panic. You shouldnt be with a man you dont love, nor should you compare yourself to your married friends. Stay calm and be patient, you'll get exactly what you want. Its a shame you dont love this man who desires you, but if you dont now im sure you never will. Life isnt always about love, you could simply be with him because its convenient, because it would make you happy in different ways. But love is certaintly the most fullfilling aspect of life, and it will be yours, just have faith. A love is out there for you, an appropriate one, and it will come to you. I know you're scared because you're feeling behind the curve, but you're still very young, and it will never be too late. Go with the man you dont love now, and you may find your love further down the road, messy situation. Be strong, be patient, you're going to be alright. =D

Sounds like a good idea to me. I wish you both the best. Remember that love comes naturally, relationships dont, you've got to work for your want, have conviction. If you can handle 14 months in a LDR, I think you guys will be set for a life together, assuming you want that. Just think about how much fun you'll have when he gets back, like discovering a love you've always had.

First off, if you think you could never leave her you've got a problem. Especially since you're so young. You need to have your own life made before you go taking on another. I dont think her unwillingness to be affectionate is a sign of distrust. She's probably just nervous or shy. Just because shes made out with you doesnt mean shes comfortable enough to kiss you when she likes, making out on occasion like that is a moment of comfort and intimacy that may not be present all the time. Kissing her respectfully, hugging her, and such would not be a bad idea, it would help her be more comfortable returning such signs. Just dont expect anything more then a kiss or a hug, and dont draw it out. Another girlfriend is an idea only if you dont see this relationship going anywhere. A friend with benefits is never a good idea in my opinion. And im sure she likes you, she just needs time.

You're not nuts, not only do you have something but its also very intriguing so its only potential but in the process of igniting. The time he's away wont be easy, not at all, but its still possible. You may want to get your real feelings out in the open before he goes, dont hold onto that while hes away, you'll go crazy. Remember to trust him, even if he betrays your trust you suffer a better fate then if you never gave it. Keep in contact as often as possible and be true to him by being true to yourself. Most importantly dont panic, 14 months is a long time, but youve got a long life ahead of you, its okay to wait.

We're all clueless when it comes to our own lives. Id recommend confronting him with things first, tell him you think hes hitting on her and you want him to back off. He probably wouldnt admit to anything though. Its kind of hard to advise on a situation like this, especially with my lack of understanding. You're the only one who knows whats best, and if you bring up the subject im sure you'll know what to say.

Your head will keep you safe, your heart will put your emotional state on the line. Its really something that only you can decide, you know how you feel deep down, and what you want. I'd bet you already know your decision right now, and you're just asking for advice because you want someone to agree. I agree, regardless of what it is.

Im not really in the situation, but id just pick whichever name I liked the most. Be it because it sounds good, or im used to it. A name is just a name, a way to be addressed, it doesnt mean more then that unless you let it. Id imagine Hyphenating would be annoying, id say keep your name for your children. But if you dont like it, ditch it, or if you remarry.

Its very possible you're just paranoid. I think everyone is hitting on my girlfriend, even children! Curse them! =D In anycase, theres always a chance she'd run off, but trusting her is great, and lowers that chance significantly. As for your friends, put distance between him and her, and if he doesnt let that distance be, then tell him off. Or even still, tell her you think hes hitting on her, let it be her problem too. You dont have to defend your girl unless shes threatened, and right now it seems like you're the one being threatened, you trust her, see if you can trust him or take him out of the picture.

I know exactly how you feel, I was the same way. First off, dont think you need to be in a relationship now, you're young. Most people will go to their twenties before having a girlfriend, so dont rush it. unfortunately I dont think anyone can really give you good advice on this, its a kind of do or dont thing. Sooner or later you have to gather the courage and it builds from there, but you need to take the first step. Tell her you like her, or start talking to her. Trust me, no matter how she feels, she wont be mean about it. She'll be flattered. Regardless of whether or not she returns your feelings you'll feel so much better after telling her, and you'll be ready for a future endeavor. Just go for it, its a turning point in your life, dont be scared nothing "that" bad will come of it, and you'll come out of the situation feeling better about yourself.

unfortunately what we all know as "love" is not infallible. Perhaps it must evolve into "True Love" and that wont be achieved until you proclaim it from your death bed. If its meant to be you dont have to do a thing, it will be. But dont lose sight of yourself in this man, you're your own person with your own life. I dont think its right to try to make someone want you back, it seems deceitful. With that said... While taking good care not to come off as a stalker, show him that you're there for him, and you wont leave just because he "thinks" it what he wants. As a guarded person I can tell you that I push women away in a somewhat manipulative way, but no matter what I say or do I just want them to stay with me, and tell me its alright.

Well thanks for agreeing =D When I get lonely I just turn even more inward, I remember that im going to have to spend the rest of forever with myself. So I had better love myself above all else. Dying wouldnt cure my loneliness, unless I believed in a perfect afterlife in which I was always happy....then again, wouldnt that just become indifference? Embrace any and all emotions good or bad, you cant change how you feel, only how you think, and fighting whats natural is a battle you're bound to lose. Just because you can only keep yourself, doesnt mean you're alone. Life or death have nothing to do with loneliness or any other emotion.

Its my understanding that all people are lonely deep down, even those who surround themselves with good company. It doesnt mean you'll be unhappy though, I enjoy keeping to myself. Only love seems to cure my loneliness, or rather, make me forget it exists. There are so many reasons to live, not involving other people, just realize that life has its good aspects and you'll only get to live once. Dont throw it away, even if it sucks its a one-of-a-kind thing.

A subject I know only too well. I want to think i'd dump them in a heartbeat, but its never that simple. I always want to try again, to try to forgive, although its essentially impossible. Even if you forgive the person, you keep the scar of their betrayal. In turn you may not treat them as well as you once could, and it will probably end your relationship as a side effect. My favorite quality of a person is virtue, I can never continue to believe a person whom has betrayed me is "perfect" as much as id like to.