broken karma

Um...I know you meant this as a joke, but there might be some people on this forum who have skin conditions, weight problems, or physical disabilities, and have serious personal issues with them...and this would certainly not help them to be made to feel they are the LAST thing anyone would want. It's not only the physically perfect people that find love, you know...if that were the case, there wouldn't be nearly as many couples in the world. Sorry, I just thought about my cousin who never felt "worthy" to date anyone because of his severe acne scars...

Yeah, seriously QTPie87, you have nothing to worry about...chances are about 5,000 people got that email from the same address at the same time you did...this person has no way to track you down or anything like that. It's just a scam for money. Just delete it, and don't let it cross your mind again....it's all going to be fine.

This is just a scam email...they want money. Just forget it. I got one the other day telling me that I had been "picked" to be in the new Superman V movie, and that all I had to do was send them a resume, a picture, and a "$150 refundable processing fee" (yeah, right...lol) and I would be sent a plane ticket to London for shooting with Anthony Hopkins. Jeez...do people really believe this stuff?

There's 2 issues here... a) Would I want to know? Yes b) Would I want to know it from the person my spouse/SO was cheating with? NO...I would want my spouse/SO to be man enough to tell me himself. The last person I would want to even SEE, much less have a conversation with over something like this, is the person my man chose to cheat on me with. It would be too painful... And this is coming from someone who is in love with a man in a committed relationship...that's the reason nothing has ever happened between he and I...because I would never put him in the situation that would cause him to hurt her in that way, and I would never hurt her in that way myself.

OMG, yes! His dad died when he was very young, and his mom raised him on her own...how strange is that? I never thought about that. Wonder what the connection is? I mean, don't get me wrong, he's a really sweet, wonderful guy, but he's just not the one for me.

Oh, I understand what you are saying, completely...but the thing is, the guy who is involved with someone else is not in the picture romantically at all...those days were over before they even started. Yes, I have feelings for him, and I always will, but there's no way anything will ever happen, and I accepted that long ago. He has his life with her, and that's where he will stay. It's not that I'm holding out for HIM, it's that I'm holding out for someone who will make me feel romantic feelings at all...this guy who is so crazy about me will do things for me that are terribly romantic, and I swear, it's like one of my "girlfriends" doing this stuff for me...I think, "oh, how sweet," but that's it...I never feel any twinge of romantic ANYTHING. I've tried and tried to give this guy a chance, but there's just nothing there.

Oh, Scout...if only you could distill this insight you have found, bottle it and sell it...I would be the first in line! I've posted my problem here, and people have been so helpful, but I wish, OH HOW I WISH, I could come to the peace you have found. I am very happy for you, and wish (as you do), that it lasts a long, long time for you.

Thank you, ALL OF YOU, for the thoughtful, and very helpful replies. I guess when you have no one right here with you that understands what you are going through (I live in a small town and single people are not that common here...lol), you start thinking you have very few options. It's true...I don't love this guy now, and I never will. But he is wonderful, and deserves someone who *will* love him, the way he should be loved. It's just not me. And I deserve that too...thank you all, for reminding me of that.

Hello Everyone... I've been a guest here for a while, and everyone seems so kind and helpful. I have something going on in my life (my love life) that is tearing me apart, and I don't know what to do about it... I'm in my 30s, and have been single all my life. I've had relationships, but for one reason or another, they have never made it to that final step of committment (I was too young, they were not ready, we were not right for each other, etc.). Right now I have deep feelings for a man that I can never have, because he is with someone else. He knows how I feel, and he and I have never acted on these feelings; we never will, because he is a good man, and believes in loyalty and commmittment in a relationship (as do I, so I would never hurt what he has with her). We are close friends, and nothing more. I cannot say I don't love him, because I always will...but I know it will never be more than what it is now. I met a man over a year ago, and we were together just for one evening (nothing physical happened, but we became friendly). We've emailed, talked on the phone, had msn conversations via webcam, etc., ever since. He is very sweet, very kind, very loving towards me, and is so considerate and thoughtful. Any time I've needed help or a shoulder to cry on, he is there for me, no matter what. He has often told me that any time I want to move to where he lives and be his wife, he would happily marry me and make me the most treasured, most loved woman in the world... The problem? I DON'T LOVE HIM. I think he is sweet, kind, thoughtful, funny, intelligent, and genuinely a great guy, but I can honestly say I don't love him at all. Tonight (just a few minutes ago, actually) on an msn conversation (with the webcam on), we were talking about my mom and making a good impression with her, and I joked that if he brought her her favorite flower, that she would be "all his." He asked me, "What can I give you to make you all mine?" Out of the blue, I started to cry...just like that, and I couldn't stop. He kept apologizing, and I told him it wasn't his fault, that it wasn't anything he said... I just kept hinking to myself, "no one has EVER asked me that before...why did it have to be him?" And I don't even mean why couldn't it be the guy I'm hung up on, but why couldn't it be ANYONE I'm hung up on? I think to myself many times that I'm in my 30s, all my friends are married and have children, and I don't want to be alone all my life. What if this guy is my only chance? What if I turn him down and no one else comes along that will love me the way this guy loves me? He tells me I'm smart and beautiful and wonderful and special all the time...but I just feel nothing for him except fondness and friendship. I've tried so hard to feel about him the way he feels about me, and it's just not happening. I'm so scared to throw it all away, that I will be throwing away the best thing that I will ever get, but I don't know what to do...I'm still crying over this. I just don't know how to handle it...can you learn to love someone? Should I marry him and hope that I will learn to love him? I'm so tired of being alone, but I'm so scared of making the wrong decision... Thank you for reading this.