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cassiana

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Everything posted by cassiana

  1. cassiana
    He calls you one day after another break-up between him and the ex with the child that he has flitted back to you before. I have one word for that, REBOUND hes not thinking of you. hes using you to slave his ego and possibly get back at her. Do not give him an inch. do not trust him. do not be his doormat. How selfsih he is. you deserve better.
  2. cassiana
    so now he emails me back thanking me for my email and telling me about his trip. Then he asks me to let him know what shenanigans I'm up to. Is he fishing or does he see me as some good ole pal, loads of fun? I kept me email light-hearted because I thought that was the right thing to do.
  3. cassiana
    Well I waited a couple of days and sent him a lighthearted reply just now. Could there be any reason why he is contacting me at this stage other than setting the seeds for a reconciliation? I don't want to build up my hopes.Ill let you know if he replies. I know hes going on a bus tour tomorrow for a week or so.
  4. cassiana
    My exdumped me last April. I initiated NC. After 4 months I sent an email. We emailed sporadically until december. In december he left his job and that email address and went travelling. He didn't even text me happy christmas. I'm being brief here as i've rabbited on about this at great length before.I thought that he would never contact me again. Now after all this time he sends me an email and apologises for not contacting me. What should I think, what should I do?
  5. cassiana
    That's true. I have been both. However each dumping situation was different. Most times I have been dumped I realised it was for the best even though it hurt. Every time I dumped I agonised over it and knew it had to be done. Then I have been dumped and heartbroken too. I can't get an insight into being able to dump someone I liked because it was inconvenient. That seems to me a very selfish and foolish thing and if theres any karma then those people deserve to end up alone.
  6. cassiana
    There is a line in Communication theory that I firmly believe in. "Be clear about your objectives". If everybody thought carefully about what exactly they were trying to communicate the heartache of the planet would be wiped in half instantly. correct me if i'm wrong but your primary objective is to get him back and keep him back. If this is true then revenge has no place in your reaction. Having said that if you make it too easy for him you won't keep him long. So how do you do both? Ah that's the question. Your reply should be slow in coming, confident and firm oh and don't give too much away. I think the terse reply recommended above is a good opeing gambit. Good luck.
  7. cassiana
    I think that no matter how much someone loves someone, there are somethings that have to be gone through alone. Everyone has a core self that is just for them. Your ex is having a hard time. This is her time. Be there for her only as little or as much as she needs. When things get better and you reconcile there may be a time when she will return the favour. I know what it feels like when I feel so down that I don't want to talk to anyone even though I care for them. If someone tries to cajole you, it only makes things worse.
  8. cassiana
    I agree. He got sick and broke up with me. I'm still worrying and waiting. I would have gone through it with him, but he wanted to be a man in our relationship and doesn't sit well with weakness and illness. He may want me to admire him, not pity him.
  9. cassiana
    What if the reason you broke up with your ex was circumstantial. For example he was going off to war and he didn't want you waiting and worying. My ex got sick.
  10. cassiana
    I would love to get back with one ex and would consider another. The rest I would never ever date again. I suppose its like car shopping. You need to test drive a few and then go back and get the one you like the best. Maybe you exs are doing the same.
  11. cassiana
    The teenage years are crap. don't be fooled by all that commercial crap and trendy TV shows about beautiful rich teens and their beautiful rich problems. That's rubbish. Keep an eye on those stars and I guarantee that you will be better off than them all twenty years from now. When I was 18, I felt fat, ugly and stupid. School work was piling up , my father was ill from depression and after losing his job. I used to write in my diary that I wanted to die. But i kept on plugging on hoping that the next day would be better. It didn't get better for along time but it did eventually. Also don't discount the chemical imbalances of teenage years. If you have a physical illness you know what it is and are reassured. Well you can physical illnesses in the brain too. Be reassured that these feelings happens to almost everyone. As for making mistakes. We all make mistakes. The man who didn't make mistakes didn't make anything. I have humiliated myself more times than I can imagine. What's worse I have done things completely right and still failed. Life does suck and it does blow but I wouldn't have it any other way. I'd rather have my trials and failures because my self worth is tied into the fact that though I weep and grind I never give up for long. Things could be worse you could be Paris Hilton, a symbol of why life should be hard. When its too easy it turns you into a worthless thing.
  12. cassiana
    I know Mary would have believed me but Jane is her friend and I didn't want her to have doubts about her. I can think of no other logical explanation than Jane planted it there but I still don't know for sure. But why would Jane do it? I have met her about once since. She tells Mary alot of stories, that shes obese because of a health condition and can't have children etc etc. I wonder does she just like people fussing over her and feeling sorry for her. Did she think I'd find the phone sooner? Does she now think that i'm a thief? I just wondered. I wonder has anyone else had similar peculiar experiences?
  13. cassiana
    I plan to do nothing. its just that Ive never spoken to anybody about it and when I found this site I wondered had anyone any insights into why anyone would do this. I decided long ago not to tell Mary. I never even told Anne. The thing is I know I didn't put the phone there and theres no way it "fell" into one of those elasticated inside pockets of a vanity case. It really upset me when I found it.
  14. cassiana
    My ex dumped me last april and I have been a thorough lady since, mild supportive, I did the NC thing. I kept it all in and it has made me ill. this weekend my new boyfriend was laready taking me for granted and my brother was walking allover me. So I got angry with them both. They both apologised. My telling my Ex off will get me respect. Im a doormat no more.
  15. cassiana
    I have never mentioned in to anyone because I cannot prove she did it. i cannot say that I disliked her, but I found her a bit irritating. However there is no way I put the phone there and there is no way it got there accidently/ No-one should have been in my case anyway. The phone couldn't fall into this bag. those vanity case pockets are elasticated. I just wonder about it.
  16. cassiana
    Myself and Mary have been very close friends for over ten years. About five years ago Mary invited me on a weeks holiday with two of her other friends Anne and Jane. Now Anne and Jane didn't know each other or I them. Our one connection was Mary. We spent a week in an apartment in Spain. Anne and Jane wanted the beds so myself and Mary slept in the living area. Jane was very plump which she said was due to several mystery illnesses. She had some difficulty keeping up but we slowed down. One day I bought a nice pair of sandals in a stall and she went back fifteen minutes later and bought the same pair. None of that was very remarkable. I did find her mildly irritating but said nothing. On our last evening we planned to do some real shopping. However Jane came back to the apartment and found her phone was missing. Now we were never alone in the apartment over the week, we stuck together, but I suppose one of us could be alone in one of its two rooms. Anyway we tore the place apart looking for it. We turned over all the beds and furniture, we emptied out our suitcases etc, no sign of it. Jane then complained to the manager. Then we had to hike accross town to the police station and reported the incident so that no-one could use her phone. Anyway we didn't get any shopping done but that couldn't be helped. well we returned home and I emptied out my suitaces and stowed it away etc and forgot about the whole thing. Now while in spain O bought a vanity case to stuff my sunscreen in etc but never bothered to empty that until about three months later And there nestled inside the elasticated pockets was the phone. I was stunned. There is no way I put it there.There was no way it could be put there accidently. My bags were in the living area, janes were in the bedroom. I cannot remember whether I emptied my vanity case or not when we were searching for the phone. It was new at the time and not properly filled.Either way I did not put that phone there.I think Jane did. Any ideas?
  17. cassiana
    You know after ten months of suffering, in the last two weeks I feel myself just disliking him and not caring so much. Now if he contacted me I would give him a good telling off.
  18. cassiana
    Here is something my ex wrote to his friend about 3 weeks before he broke up with me. "I'm back from ??????. I overnighted there with Cassiana-lots of fun- and we took a walk on the beach after-as u do. don't know where this romance will end;but it's good for now. hope no-one's heart gets broken etc. life is good on that end." Any opinions on that?
  19. cassiana
    I am a catholis too and would have felt the same at your age. However the huge burden of guilt over such a natural thing nearly ruined my life. Don't feel guilty. It is not a sin to take pleasure in your body. You are still a virgin. If you let thne guilt eat you up it will ruin you.
  20. cassiana
    She most likely wanted you back but didn't want to let the other guy go in case you said no so I wouldn't worry about that. I would worry about the drugs. Drugs mess people up and make liars of the nicest people. If she hasn't cleaned up you can like her all you like but shell hurt you again. With any reconciliation trust is a HUGE issue so you need to talk, talk, talk. Sometimes that works so well it makes a relationship stronger than before.
  21. cassiana
    I agree. You cannot get over him unless you put some distance there and you have to stop sleeping with him, that's very bad for your self-esteem.
  22. cassiana
    May I ask who dumped who initially and why? You said the break-up was nasty, in what way? I ask this because I feel the way you break up must inevitably affect the way you reconcile. She has initiated contact with you three times. The first two times you had moved on, but this third time you are more open, why? I mean is it merely that you are single, because if that's the case this reconciliation is only a matter of circumstance than a genuine progession of your relationship. Or have you realised something recently about your ex and your relationship?
  23. cassiana
    You speak alot of sense kate. Sadly there aren't alot of people who appreciate others. Maybe there's a trick to that too. I'm doing all the sensible stuff. I suppose that I hope that this trip will help him overcome all those obstacles that are holding him back, job illness etc. There's no use telling a man with pride that we can work through them together. I suppose I would be the same, wanting to present the best side of me to the one I admire. Maybe that's what's happening. or maybe not.
  24. cassiana
    MY ex has an illness that makes it hard for him to cope with stress.When we dated he was very happy and we had a very romantic relationship. Then he had a bad week, migraines, stress at work and he had to start a course in another city. On the thursday all was fine and on the saturday he dumped me. He said that I had been great, good for him and that it had nothing to do with me. I started Nc while he did the course. He emailed me twice and sent me a birthday card but I didn't reply. After 4months I emailed him. We had been emailing since. he complimented me on my emails, which he thought were very witty and should be published. Through friends I know that he has been tired (part of the illness) and down. He was hanging on until he went on this trip around Oz and NZ. Thats what hes doing now. His friend told me that he was very happy when he was with me and had nothing but praise for me. They also said that he was the kind of guy who would like to be in a good relationship. That's my story. I hope when he comes back that he will come back to me. I havent seen him since april. Give me hope.
  25. cassiana
    He had no problem emailing me from august to december, even though we broke up last april.
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