sarahmaria

Cecelius, seriously..aren't you being a little cynical here? thats the only advice you can give? it doesn't even seem to me that she's testing him, i mean after 4 months and now she wants to find if he's worthy?? its illogical..

i understand what you're saying..but have you tried talking to your girlfriend about this? try to bond with the guy.. i mean, you said it yourself, they're friends and they've been for a long time, over a period of several boyfriends..so its likely she's not going to be breaking up this friendship anytime soon.. for all you know it can be innocent and he's being possesive of a friend.. so just hang out with him more, talk to him without your girlfriend around.. he probably just doesn't know you well enough..

gee, thanks Scout K8tie Kool and everyone.. reading your replies has really opened up my eyes.. i guess i never saw it like that.. i know that he wouldn't attempt to make a move unless he was sure i would go all the way, and then just be cool like it had never happened... this is because he thinks of me as his friends.. i thought i hadn't made it obvious to him that i liked or had any kind of feelings towards him, but i guess judging by his actions that he got the message loud and clear... but i still want to know: Can i change him?? would he probably come around like K8tie Kool said, or am i asking this question because as Scout said, its hard to give up on 'crushes'? SarahM

hey..i have grown close to this friend of mine, and i want to take it furthur..however, he's going through a period where i know all his relationships are flings, and i don't want to be another fling.. i can sense he likes, he does things like surprise me with a hug whenever i'm being talked to by a guy, like last night when we went to watch a local band play, two guys came up two me.. the first time, he came from behind, gave me a kiss and told me i looked cute..the second time, he pulled me away told the guy 'sorry, she's needed somewhere else' and sat down on the bench us group had taken and put me on his lap with arms around me possively.. the other guy naturally left.. once he left, my friend let me go and went to talk to some other girl, described by guys as a 'hottie'... what does he want? i know i want to be with him but i don't want to be just another girl he's shared his bed with... i'm so cofused, he tells me i'm his best friend then he does this kind of thing.. how do i act??!

you know the saying "someones freedom ends when the freedom of the another begins".. well, when somebody decides to make commit suicide they are affecting not only themselves, but the people around them, thats why its sometimes seen as a selfish act... people are not free to affect other people's lives in a way they dont to be affected.. i believe that everyone here alive has a potential to fulfill, its a shame not to realise that your existence itself has meaning...our lives arent for us to choose when to end it, there are many people attached to it other than ourselves... and by the way it is known that people who commit sucide regret their decision at the last moment... suicide is a very drastic decision to make, whatever the reason is it is not normal to actually attempt or seriously think about it... there is always more solutions to follow but they might not be as clear as the decision to commit suicide..and it is a pity that anyone can lose every single bit of hope...in the end it is also a result of what we do to each other..

thank you so much maggie for posting a reply...i feel like i really need an outsiders veiw on whats happening...i really do miss him, but its very hard to get support on this subject here.. my boyfriend, kyle, hes very popular over here, and the environment here is very narrow so that everyone at school knows each other. its an international school we go to and the amount of people in our grade is only 36..kyle's friends are always around and even my bestfriend is going out with kyle's friend so i cant talk to her about it...she literally never keeps anything from her, this means that if i tell her anything at all kyle would know, and i dont want anything to ruin our relationship..i have been wanting it for so long that i dont want it to end before it even truly begins.. but i know that even if i act a little bit differently she would notice and soon find out the truth and everything would be ruined.. how do i make this feeling go away?? i know its only because i'm thinking of this guy as a substitute for kyle, but i cant help the way i feel about him..

i think there might be a chance, if you say she knows you like her in that way...it does seem that she is interested in you this time.. however, be really careful in case she thinks that whatever is between you now is only friendship,and maybe she thinks you realised this after her rejection...and you dont want to lose a friendship with her.. try asking around, your friends or her friends might know if she has any feelings for you, and then when you are more sure you can make your move.. goodluck

hey, i think everyone has a point here.. to me, i consider sex to be a very intimate experience... it can be given to anyone but it doesnt always mean the same with everyone you experience it with.. if a relationship is only based on sex, then that really isnt a very healthy relationship... when involved with someone, you have to be friends.. that means trust, honesty, someone you feel comfortable with...then you can take it to a further level, and sex is definitly a further level.. what i'm trying to say is that sex is intimate but there has to be more in the equation to make it truly so.. and in the end it all depends on the person and what their concept of sex and intimacy is..

hey, maybe its an understatment when i say that what you are doing is wrong... the key point here is that he is your fiance, which means that when he proposed to you he made the decision that you are going to be his wife, ie you would never cheat on him and it means that he completely trusts you,in addition he is completely in love with you...and i dont believe for a second that you could willingly try to hurt him... if you really dont want to be with him then you have to tell him...its not right for you to lead him on like this...talk to him, you have gotten this far so it might be easier than you think... if you want to be with him still, then you really have to straighten yourself up...again i say talk to him, if you want to stay with him he will understand..as long as you aproach him in the right way...

i never know where to put my posts, i can never find a proper forum.. my problem, is that i am so scared of losing this guy that i like.. i dont know if you've read my earlier post... anyways, me and this guy were friends and we started to like each other.. now even though over the summer we are kind of far apart (he's in europe on vacay) we still talk to each other everyday on the phone... he makes sure to call me everynight from where ever he's staying, i even know that his phone bill is huge, and so had to use his father's credit card which kind of got him into trouble.... thats why i feel so guilty... last week this new guy moved in next to my bestfriends.. and so me and her "took him in" showed him around... anyways, this guy has the perfect charming personality just as my boyfriend does, and the way the new guy acts and talks and jokes about reminds reminds me of him so much.. i think thats why i kind of got close to him, i think... as my boyfriend, i dont even know if we are even on that stage and i can call him that, left literally the day after we decided we want to be together, i really couldnt be with him that i wanted to.. i mean we even just barely kissed at the airport..the way the new guy reminds me of him makes me want to be with the new guy more even though i know its wrong... i still talk to my 'boyfriend' every other day, he says he wants to hear my voice...so i really dont want to do anything that i would regret eventually, especially that my 'boyfriend' has been my very close friend for the past year before we had feelings for each other.. last night we got so close to kissing each other after going out to a party, and he was getting me home, but i pulled away at the last minute and said i was tired and laughed the whole situation off... summer is going to be long and i am going to be here, and the new guy is going to be here, but the guy i really care about isnt... whenever, i see the new guy my ... i dont want to say desire... want becomes more, i feel scared from myself... i even feel stupid posting this but as onthetrail says in his signature --> Advice is what you ask for when you know the answer but want to know for sure i may have an idea on what i have to do but when you are in this situation i can barely put my thoughts in order... i need friendly advice...

its funny how you seem to find it hard to analyse girls but clearly you can draw a final judgement on us when we break up with you.. maybe its just the idea that we are brushing you off anyways, u know it all depends on what time of the month you find us on, lol

hey, its smart and good.. you have talent for someone your age.. i am sorry to hear that this was once true but am glad you didn't have to reach for a gun... good job

hey, i was in your friends' place... when my friend got a boyfriend and soon became very serious, me and my friends saw very little of her.. it didnt affect us, because there was still a number of us who were there for each other... however, she lost us... we werent as close as we were before, and whenever she had problems with her boyfriend she found it hard to come and talk to us about them...after they broke up, it took alot of time for us to trust her again not to leave us for the next boy she see's.. am not saying that you two will ever break up, but even if you don't you will still need your friends... my boyfriend says that when he ever needs to choose between me and his friends, he would choose them.. and he has stood me up a number of times if his friends needed him..and i respect that because i would do the same... boyfriends may come and go but friends stay for life, so try to make the best of it.. why dont you talk to them, tell them about how you're feeling, and how you have realised that you are more distant now.. i'm sure they will understand...but realise you have t make the first move, because they may have gotten used to you not being around us much, but they didnt feel comfortable talking to you about it.. keep both your friends and your boyfriend...things could be as good as you want them to be if you try..

hey, its always hard to be cheated on, infedility hurts... the main thing here is that you realise that it doesn't matter how you find out , she was doing this to you.. she didnt even try to defend herself, but blamed you for looking through the computer..clearly she's trying to avoid the subject, yeah? anyways,maybe its for the best that she left, i really don't think you deserve to be with someone who cheats on you, and keep in mind that her friends knew about it, this emphasises how little respect she has for you and the other guys... and believe me its her loss.. don't think too much about her, it will be hard to get over this to some extent.. but look, obviously she's not the one, you'll find someone who deserves i am sure..

what muneca said is so true... give him a little time and more space and he'll come around... it happens all the time with guys, the more they think someone is making themselves distant from them, the more they'll come and talk and chat you up... don't worry if its meant to happen it will happen..