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sweetione

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  1. sweetione
    I was broken up by text message after a year of dating. We have now been broken up a year. It still hurts. Maybe it will always hurt. But after awhile the why doesn't matter. For whatever reason, they didn't want to be in a relationship with us. You just have to learn how to pick yourself off the ground. Maybe someday, they will know what a mistake they made. Maybe they will be kicked to the curb by someone and get a dose of their own medicine. Believe me it is hard. It hurts. But when we find the right person for us, we will look back on this and thank the loser for being a loser! Just my opinion.
  2. sweetione
    I guess you are all right. I didn't think sending a couple of cards was a big deal, just trying to be nice. But I see what you are saying and actions do speak louder than words. Seems that all the words were lies. I really don't get it, I do think it would have been easier if he just threw away my card. I don't deserve to be treated like this and I do agree Steve that I need to get mad. I tend to take this so personal -- and then not understanding why I was thrown to the curb and now run over. But I will cease any communication...he is taken off the christmas card list. One less stamp to buy.
  3. sweetione
    I am not sure i agree with you. It is spineless. I sent a Christmas card for god's sake. Not a proposal. And in the time we have been broken up I have never called. Sent him a birthday card, a cd and a christmas card. When we broke up we said we would be friends. 3 things with 7 months doesn't seem overbearing.
  4. sweetione
    I don't know where to start. I have been on this website before, right after my breakup.(if you want the whole story). He really broke my heart and I didn't even know it was coming until i got a text message breakup after 1 year of dating. Anyway, I have tried to kind of keep in contact every few months. I sent him a birthday card in sept. with no response back from him and then i sent him a burned CD of this singer he likes in October and again no response of any kind. I know that 1 month after our breakup he was in another relationship and i guess he still is because i sent him this Christmas card. I only wished him a merry christmas and asked him to give his family best wishes for a joyeous holiday season. Today I received my card back in the mail. Folded in half, with a written note from his girlfriend " We would appreciate it if you did not contact Peter anymore -- alison and peter" The envelope was in her handwriting too. The thing is, i didn't put a return address on the Christmas card i sent. And I don't know her. I have never called or stalked or anything. My relationship with my ex was never bad, not ever. We never fought. The only time i had any problems was when i called and did the pleading begging route one time in june. I guess i am writing because it still hurts. Why couldn't he have called himself? I left a message for him telling him that i don't understand this and asking him to call. But it seems that he is spineless and i probably won't get a call or explanation. I am not sure what i am asking here from you all. Maybe your opinion or thoughts....
  5. sweetione
    I have not spoken to my ex since the end of June, we broke up in April but still continued to see each other until the end of May. The last time I talked to my ex, i did all things you are not suppose to do. I found out that he got into another relationship immediately after our phone call(within days). He doesn't know that i know he has a girlfriend. I sent him a funny birthday card in september and heard nothing back from him. Last week I sent him a CD I burned for him of Joss Stone. He really likes her music and we went to her concert on one of our breakup dates. I have not heard anything from him. Not a peep. Should I call or email or something to see if he got it? Or just do nothing and assume he did. Also do you think sending the CD was a mistake? I find that I am confused on what to do when you want your ex back. Some people say NC is the route and others/books tell you to do loving things such as sending cards and presents, etc. What do you guys think? I am trying my hardest to move on...I really am...but my mind ALWAYS takes me back to him. I guess I am having a really hard time understanding how i got thrown to the curb and how he was able to move on, while I cant even imagine kissing another. Any comments are appreciated.
  6. sweetione
    What if your ex is dating someone else?
  7. sweetione
    I have done nc for 3 months now. I know my ex will be at a baseball game tomorrow, but he doesn't know that I know that. My question is should I go? He now has another gf for 3 months and may bring her... If I go with some friends, smile, laugh, pretend that I am so happy, will that be good or should I just not go and leave it all to fate?
  8. sweetione
    i just thought that if i was in the picture, even as a friend, that when the new romance isn't as shiny and new that i could have a chance again. I remember some previous post where someone was talking about friends that had broken up but got back together later( some months and others years) but the writer said that they had remained in contact during the breakup.
  9. sweetione
    I have been broken up since April, continued to see my ex until end of May. After an upsetting phone call where my ex tells me that we can be friends that talk occasionally, i decided to do NC. And I have done that since June 20th. But I just found out that my ex has a new girlfriend and has for 2 months now. They just went away for 4 days on vacation last week. So my question is HOW in the world am i suppose to get him back now? Am I to wait out the "honeymoon" period and hope that he will call me eventually or should i make casual conversation and attack this as a friend. Listening to him chat about the current? What has worked for everyone here? Or anyone they know? Is it better to do NC and leave it up to fate Or is it better to stay in the picture and talk every 3 weeks or so, as friends?
  10. sweetione
    I was just about to write the same post! So funny. I think that you should do what you feel. Sending a birthday card to someone you care about is a nice thing to do. It doesn't imply you are going to leave your current girlfriend. For me, if anyone could help, my situation is that i haven't had any contact whatsoever for over 2 months now. My birthday was 3 weeks ago and my ex didn't contact me in any way. His birthday is in 2 weeks. I don't know what to do. I guess since he didn't send me anything, that i should do the same. But it hurts me to be like that. To recant my story, he broke up with me after dating for 1year without any problems in the relationship. The problems came from within him. He had just got divorced when he met me and now after a year, wants to date and be free, since he feels like he never had the chance. In our last conversation he told me he liked his life the way it was now and would be alright if we were "friends that talked occasionally". But i haven't heard a peep from him. I think he needs to see what life is like without me, so i have none the nc thing. But I was wondering if i should continue by not sending a card or try opening some kind of communication with him by sending a card?
  11. sweetione
    i think i am losing my mind... today is my birthday....thought he would call me or send a card or text message or something but he didn't. i had called him earlier but didnt' leave a message or anything. It has been over 6 weeks for nc. We never fought ever, i just loved him, but for whatever reason, he decided he wanted to date and that he didn't love me as he use to so here i am, just broken down, not knowing how to keep pretending. Anyone understand this??? giving someone your love, and they just throw it to the curb with no after thought? I am not knowing how to proceed. I am trying to take care of me, but none it makes me happy. i just want to hide away until the pain goes away, does it ever go away?????
  12. sweetione
    myjoy, I am sooooooooooooooo happy for you, if anyone deserves happiness it is YOU!!!
  13. sweetione
    LaZeRACED, PLEASE please please, do not call her, do not take her calls. That is my advice for you. You seem sooo nice and sweet and you need to grow alittle and that will happen with time AWAY. Not forever just alittle while(30 days). That is all i can say. If you do this, you will feel better, i PROMISE!!
  14. sweetione
    i agreee with scout that therapy is good for everyone...i was considering it myself...but don't think you are impaired or anything...sometimes we love too much, i just think u did to take time off and learn how to enjoy YOU!! Once you are ok without another to make you happy, you have most of the battle won. Also if you just need to vent - pm me. i have been there...i know it is hard but if you get through it you are a stronger person and you know that you can survive anything. I hope this is helpful. hugs.
  15. sweetione
    I just want to let you know that I understand how you are feeling. But I do think if you could just go 30 days without talking to your ex, you will see things much clearer. Believe me, I have been doing nc with my ex now for 6 weeks and it hurts everyday but I do see things better. And when I do talk to my ex I will be able to handle any situation thrown at me. If you ex calls I would not answer. I don't think you are ready to answer her questions. If she was so worried about you dating others, she shouldn't have been taking guys home, getting hickeys on her neck, etc. You are free to do what you want and with whom. Please take care of yourself. Learn how to deal with your loneliness. Go out and meet people. When i was in France, I went to a french class and met lots of people who didn't know french either and we became friends. Some of them didn't even know english but you learn how to communicate!! Just leave the girl behind. It hurts. No doubt about it. But you will never be happy with this girl, at least not now, she will only continue to use you and hurt you. You deserve better and as soon as you believe that, your life will be better. I promise!!!
  16. sweetione
    I agree totally. I have major abandonment issues since my parents left me when i was young. I wish i knew how to get over this. But I know that breakups affect me so much harder than anyone else I know.
  17. sweetione
    LaZeRACED, I really feel for you. I lived in france for awhile and didn't have any friends and i didn't speak the language either. I know it is hard. But you need to learn to take care of yourself. I would rent subtitle movies or read more books. This girl is treating you like dirt. And i think because you take it, she just keeps giving it to you. I am not sure if you are in love with this girl but my opinion is that you need to let her go. If you don't nothing will change. Once she sees that you will be fine without her she will want you then. But you NEED to be strong!! You seem like a very nice and romantic guy, please stop taking her sh@#!!! There are nice girls out there but you have to learn to respect yourself first. Once you do, others will too. Hugs
  18. sweetione
    Hi Toni, I didn't write down my situation because I am having a hard time understanding it myself. I dated my ex for 1 year. We never fought or argued. There wasn't anyone else. As I see it, we had a great relationship. The only problem I believe existed was that he had fears of commitment, due to previously being married. I met him 10 months after their breakup. He had told me during our breakup that he couldn't be in a serious relationship. He wanted to be free to date since he feels he went into one serious relationship into another one. He told me that he still loves me but not as much as he did when we first dated. But it was nothing I did or didn't do. I have not had any contact with him in 6 weeks now. I believe the time and space is good for both of us. I just want to know how to proceed to get him back. Some people say don't contact him at all, wait to see if he contacts me. Others say to contact him after 1-2 months, without any pressure and to take it slowly as friends. What do you think???? Thank you for taking the time to respond.
  19. sweetione
    I was in the same situation with my ex. We broke up but continued to get together 'dating' and then have sex. But it didn't help my situation. I would recommend not sleeping with him. Be strong and he will respect you. And want you even more. People want what they can't have. He broke up with you, let him get over his issues w/o you for awhile. I would still talk to him if he calls you but when he knows that he can't control you, he will want you even more. I think that if you give him want he wants now, it won't help your future with him. It is best to look at the big picture. Good luck.
  20. sweetione
    Hi Toni, In your opinion, what is the best way to try to get back together?
  21. sweetione
    hi askdan, Was wondering which book/ebook you would recommend more??
  22. sweetione
    I agree that you need to back off. You were pushing too hard and when that happens the other person will run away from you. You both need some time and take it slow. It sounds like she still loves you but you both need space to breathe alittle. If she asks to go away or to leave her alone, don't push it. Just do it. Respect her wishes and you will get much further, alot faster. Put her needs first. "Love is like a shadow. Chase it and it runs away. Walk away and it will follow you."
  23. sweetione
    I am just trying to plan ahead...I have been broken up for about 3 months now and nc now for 22 days. I really believe that I will hear from my ex. I am not sure how long it will take, but I feel it in my bones that he will contact me again. My birthday is in a few weeks and what if he calls to wish me a happy birthday? Do I just be casual and act like I don't care? Do I just not reply? Just to reinterate, I do want my ex back so please give me advice in that direction. Thank you.
  24. sweetione
    that is crap!! I am a girl and was happy. I dont' think you should generalize all women in a category.
  25. sweetione
    John, I completely feel for you. When I talked to my ex the last time, I definitely felt a chill/coldness from him. For me, that makes me not want to call him anytime soon. I don't deserve that disrespect. I didn't see that at the time of the call but now in retrospect I can say it. The only thing I know is that we can not figure out what our exes are going through. I have tried to put myself in my exes shoes but I can't. I didn't go through his experiences. I, right now, can only know how to take care of me. How am I going to get through today. How do I make it a day that I don't waste. That is what I have to do for me. Otherwise I live in this constant pain 24/7. Don't get me wrong, I am in pain but I am trying to push past it and make myself stronger. I think that is what you have to do too. You need to either get another roommate or move or figure out something but don't depend on your ex anymore. Not for anything!! She obviously doesn't want to be a part of it. At least not now. If she sees that you are doing fine without her that will make you look more attrative to her. I am not a relationship expert, by any means, but this is how i see it.
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