Psychology behind social media

[greendots]

Why do people feel the need to share posts or stories about their daily life on social media? What is the psychology behind it? What does it say about that person?

What's your take on this?

Hope you're having an awesome day! 😄

[waffle]

What should they post instead?  Memes?

[Coily]

I think there is a level of wanting to curate a narrative about their life, that paints them in a specific usually positive light. It, in my opinion, stems from people who want to look like they are a semi celebrity. Simply they want to be liked.

On one hand sharing maybe an exciting trip, or event in one's life is kind of interesting; like telling your neighbor about a trip to some exotic locale. Unfortunately, it snowballs into a self indulgence and almost addiction to "likes." it's moved from acceptance by those near you, to strangers through the internet; a feeling of validation.

And yes only post memes. lol

[Cherylyn]

This is one of the huge reasons why I deactivate my FB every week.  I visit one FB group which is community based in my city with referrals (which I don't always use), restaurant reviews, store openings, latest generic tidbit news regarding news in town and the like. 

As for FB and my FB friends, there are some friends who boast morning, noon and night about every minutiae such as pics of where they've dined at (not a restaurant review), where they went, their vacations, anniversary dates / celebrations, gush about how marvelous their daily lives are, take pics of their homes inside and out, their parties, pics with their in person socializing friends, their children's awards / accomplishments ad nauseum and a dizzying array of boastfulness galore.  There is no modesty nor humility whatsoever.  It screams narcissism.  "Look at me!"  "Give me approval!  Give me a thumbs up!"  It's an insatiable appetite for attention and approval.  They must let the world know how they live and how awesome they are during every waking hour and every breath. 

Then I have several FB friends who are diehard political zealots who post their strong controversial opinions, post distasteful pics / altered pics, disgusting quotes and pound their "rights" like idiots.  It goes to the extreme. 

I also have some FB friends who cram their devout religious, hardcore tenets down your throat until you choke.  I've since snoozed the political and religious maniacs so they're out of sight,  out of mind. 

What does it say about these people?  I've noticed they dare not behave this way in person whenever I'm with them or during in person social settings.  However, once they are able to hide behind their PCs or have their nose in their cell phones, they have no qualms cowardly firing away with abandon whereas they dare not in person.  They behave with self control and decorum in person whereas electronically, there is no discretion. 

I've noticed certain people say and write nothing.  Many of them aren't even on social media.  Why?  Because they already have it made in the shade.  They don't have to impress anyone because it's unnecessary.  They're private people, incredibly self confident and extremely secure. 

 

[Cynder]

Most people do it for validation, to feel heard, seen, etc.  People like to talk about themselves and social media gives them a platform to do so. 

[Cherylyn]

17 minutes ago, Cynder said:

Most people do it for validation, to feel heard, seen, etc.  People like to talk about themselves and social media gives them a platform to do so. 

Yes, but most people are brazen while hiding behind their computer screen vs. exercising self control when they're with you in person.   

[Cynder]

2 minutes ago, Cherylyn said:

Yes, but most people are brazen while hiding behind their computer screen vs. exercising self control when they're with you in person.   

That's the point.  It's not acceptable to talk about yourself in a face to face conversation.  But it is acceptable on social media.  A majority of humans  love having a place to tell the world how great they are. 

[Kwothe28]

There is a saying: "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?". Well, now, thanks to a social media, all your friends and followers can know that the tree fell. You used to have to go to somebody home to see vacation pics. Now? They publish whole album on Facebook for everyone to see.

And honestly so much of it is just fake. My college friend cheated on her then boyfriend, now husband all the time. One of the men she cheated him was my college roomate. And she was glad to say other stories how her now husband doesnt pay attention at her, how he is bad at sex etc. But now they are married with 2 kids. And they are that kind of couple who dresses up for their anniversary in their wedding attire and does a photoshoot for social media. That is so fake that it hurts my eyes to see every time they do it. 

Same with lots of those stories. People like to present themselves in a certain light. How they have a fullfilling life full of adventures, perfect marriage, perfect kids etc. That is what social media is about, airing a certain picture about yourself to the world. But in a reality most of those are just a facade. They are fake pictures that we air for the world to see. While the reality behind is much different.

[greendots]

It's so great to hear your responses! 😁 I'm soaking it all in.

How do you feel about the following, which I read somewhere:

Quote

I have always felt that pictures and stories shared on social media are targeted at particular audiences. When some one is sharing they wish to be seen in a particular light by certain people in their mind.

 

And what do you think about the saying Kwothe wrote about in relation to social media?

1 hour ago, Kwothe28 said:

There is a saying: "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?". Well, now, thanks to a social media, all your friends and followers can know that the tree fell

[Jimmy ape]

We live in very narcissistic society these days. People are competitive and want their peers to see them in a positive light.

[MissCanuck]

People sometimes want attention. 

That's all. 

[poorlittlefish]

2 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

People sometimes want attention. 

That's all. 

Yes, they post things like, "OMG, today was terrible", knowing full well that it will make people ask what's happened. They could have just posted what happened in the first place, but they enjoy the drama.

Some people's self worth seems to revolve around around the number of 'likes' they get or followers they have. I find it all rather tedious.

[Wiseman2]

11 hours ago, greendots said:

Why do people feel the need to share posts or stories about their daily life on social media? 

I don't know why people do that but what comes to mind is this:

"a legend in (one's) own mind

A person who affects or believes that they are of greater importance or notoriety than is actually the case. A humorous, ironic twist on the phrase "a legend in one's own lifetime.""

[Batya33]

11 hours ago, greendots said:

It's so great to hear your responses! 😁 I'm soaking it all in.

How do you feel about the following, which I read somewhere:

 

And what do you think about the saying Kwothe wrote about in relation to social media?

I don’t think there is a psychology of social media. I don’t use it to get attention. I never post photos - maybe 4 photos since 2008. One from a major newspaper of me and my son - back view. I don’t post about my meals or travels or feelings that day. I love it to be part of certain groups plus stay in touch with family and friends. People who like to be center of attention now have a new way to do it. They always were that way IMO. . 

[boltnrun]

Social media is a business like any other. Their goal is to make money. So they make sure they appeal to those who crave approval and attention. There is literally no reason to post other than to get attention and responses. And when people use these companies' sites they are exposed to advertisers who hope to sell their products and services. How much of our "news feed" consists of actual posts from family and friends and how much is adverts? Mine is probably 80/20 adverts to posts from my friends list and 'liked' pages. 

How many of us have heard the terms "pics or it didn't happen" or someone's relationship being "Facebook official"? How many threads do we see on this forum by someone upset about their partner's social media activity? "Likes" on a bikini pic are viewed as cheating. When we go to events, how many of us are holding up our phones recording the event (so we can post it on Facebook or Insta) instead of just enjoying the experience? And all of this is encouraged by the social media companies who want our money.

It wouldn't exist if it didn't work. 

[Seraphim]

It leaves a record of one’s life. I post pictures of my family, pictures of nature and weather , I post about causes I care about . 

[greendots]

8 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

a legend in (one's) own mind

Interesting! I hadn't heard about this before. Thinking of Mike Tyson being a Heavyweight Champion at the age of 20. No social media back then, just his reputation.

Still thinking about the saying Kwothe wrote about earlier. ("If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?")

Why do you need to make it official on social media that you and your friend went to this incredible restaurant the other day–unless you're promoting it or some such, of course. Why do you need to officially show others through social media how awesome your life is or how fabulous you look?

Quoting boltnrun:

54 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

When we go to events, how many of us are holding up our phones recording the event (so we can post it on Facebook or Insta) instead of just enjoying the experience?

What does what you share on social media and how often you share it say about you? I'm certainly not dismissing social media as a whole. It is a mega dollar industry.

Please keep your insights coming. Greatly appreciated! Have a great day!! 😄

[lostandhurt]

In a word EGO

Look at me!  Look how great my life is! Look at what I am having for lunch! Look at my new phone/car/nails/dog/house/couch...

 The desire to be seen as interesting or important or successful or cute or whatever has always been in our society, social media or what I like to call unsocial media has given some a platform to over indulge to the point of extreme narcissism.

 I saw an interview with an expert on radical thoughts being more prevalent and how social media has contributed to it going from thoughts to actions. The gentleman stated that our population has always had these people with these thoughts/views but social media simply allowed them all to find each other thus giving them validation. 

Perhaps the need for validation is more accurate. Either way it has ruined in person real life interactions IMO

Lost 

[boltnrun]

18 minutes ago, greendots said:

What does what you share on social media and how often you share it say about you?

I struggled for a long time in basically all facets of my life. Things are going very well for me recently and I'm probably happier than I've been in a long time. So yes, I enjoy sharing my happiness and seeing others being happy for me being happy lol. 

I don't have anyone on my social media as a "friend" unless they are a legit real life friend or family member. I don't understand those who have several thousand "friends". One (former) friend has over six thousand "friends" on Facebook! Why???

[Cherylyn]

17 hours ago, Cynder said:

That's the point.  It's not acceptable to talk about yourself in a face to face conversation.  But it is acceptable on social media.  A majority of humans  love having a place to tell the world how great they are. 

There's hypocrisy with face to face conversation while some people demonstrate a "Jekkyl and Hyde" personality or their true selves on social media which is disgusting. 

In person,  I thought I knew some very great people.  They are kind, possess decorum, extremely pleasant and on their best behavior.  Then the minute they're on social media, cowardly hiding behind their computer screen or burying their noses in their cell phones,  for example, FB, whoa!  OMG. 🤨 🙄 🤔  ☹️ They post inappropriate, often times vulgar memes, quotes, they're highly controversial, try hard to persuade you towards their "right," very strong political stances, try to convert you with their personal religious tenets and the like.  These same "nice" people in person, are unrecognizable to me on social media.  It's as if they're angels in person and transform into devils on social media overnight.  Suddenly, I've lost all former respect and admiration for them because they're two faced.  After they've showed their true colors to me, they're not great people to me anymore.  Innocence was lost within me.  Naivete is no more. 

There are some people whom I know personally such as relatives and in-laws.  They blast pics and explanations all over social media regarding how wonderful their lives are with their lifestyles, homes, vacations, family life, where they've dined at (not restaurant reviews), what they've bought, what services they've paid for (not referrals), entertainment, jet set traveling lifestyles, disposable income, boast about their affluence, brag about every nauseating milestone minutiae of their lives and children's lives whereas in person, they're quite humble, modest and silent.  Also, these same people have incurable "cancers" in their home with cruel husbands who wear the pants in their families, there's familial strife and turmoil.  These same posters demonstrated their ugly sides to their personalities and characters which is wicked mean to the core.  These same posters are known to have betrayed others nastily.  I trust them as much as I trust Judas.  I know the real dirt.  

I have FB friends who think before they post and write.  They exercise discretion which is appreciated.  Whenever I see them in person, it's not awkward nor do I doubt and distrust their character.  

  

[mylolita]

Hey Greendots!

 

Great thread!

 

I haven’t had Facebook or any social media for about 6 years now or maybe even more! No TikTok viewing, no Instagram, no Twitter, no Snapchat no anything. My online vice is THIS WEBSITE!!!

 

And the fact it has evolved more into a social media style “likes” and “point system”, I’m not too keen! 
 

But anyway, I come back, I’m addicted, I use it too much for my own liking.

 

Facebook is only harmless or draining or negative if you take it that way. No one is forcing anyone to use it. I always say, just delete it, or hardly use it, or adapt it to your needs if you really feel like you need social media but don’t like it on the whole.
 

I think as humans, we crave social interaction badly, it’s an essential need. Modern society has eroded the small community, and eroded social interactions in general (in real life). You used to talk to the same girl at the check out for your bread every week, now it’s lonely self service. People used to meet people locally, in person, date and marry them, now we set up online profiles and swipe through a screen (another solo event). Online learning for kids, more tv time than ever, and more social media that isn’t really too social much at all. I think mostly everyone would prefer to sit face to face, or side by side, with their close friend or family member and hug them and see their facial expressions and hear their tone of voice, rather than likes, comments, and the rest.

 

I don’t think everyone who uses social media has a huge ego, but I feel like the majority of people posting every detail is just what people feel like everyone else is doing, so they go along with it. Most of them, I suspect, feel lonely from or unfulfilled about it too, but they do it anyway. I don’t think they give it too much thought, it’s just the new done thing. 
 

There is also an element of curious, gossipy, curtain twitching to social media. I’m guilty again of it myself. The like and need and enjoyment in finding out how everyone else’s lives are going. What’s new? What’s good? What’s bad? It’s like the modern day water cooler mill around.
 

I have to say, even though I have zero social media, and only see friends and family through meet up phone call and the odd text if I really must, I crave forms of attention, I really do. Not sure if that makes me a bad person, but it’s definitely in some peoples personalities. Like actors, musicians, public speakers - anyone who indulges in anything “performance” related to an audience, yes, social media appeals, for sure. 
 

As Britney Spears once said (LOL!) “There are two types of people in this world. Those that put on a show; and those that observe.”

 

I suppose anything can be used for good or for bad. As a general mass effect on society? I think it’s generally negative. Doesn’t mean for a lot it hasn’t been a great tool or a fantastic help. 
 

I’m probably the person everyone is hating on here not in the, posts pictures of what I eat in a day but, the person who opens their big mouth and lets their opinion fly too freely. Social media facilitates that a little too squeakily and when you don’t have your impulse control in check, you get yourself into hot water. Near the mark jokes end up causing offensive, counter comments when someone originally posted a political post and you give a counter opinion turns “pitch fork”! All of that. I came off it because I was debating it constantly amongst friends and family in real life, only to go home and carry it all on online. No break, a waste of time, and smouldering ashes of kind-of friends in the wake.

 

I’m in my 30s now and try to keep it surface level but it’s very hard for me to do the whole small talk thing. Again, not sure whether that makes me a bad person but, I try keep it mostly to real life now and cut out the social media crusades for another day! 
 

It’s a really interesting topic OP!

 

I mean, I admire the person who uses it wisely and carefully and precisely! Same with the online dating and all of that - if you can use it to supplement the real world social interactions so you don’t lose your mojo in the flesh, so to speak, then I’m sure there’s not too much harm in it, but I realise it’s hard for the majority of people to keep a balance (me included).

 

x
 

 

[Cherylyn]

1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

I struggled for a long time in basically all facets of my life. Things are going very well for me recently and I'm probably happier than I've been in a long time. So yes, I enjoy sharing my happiness and seeing others being happy for me being happy lol. 

I don't have anyone on my social media as a "friend" unless they are a legit real life friend or family member. I don't understand those who have several thousand "friends". One (former) friend has over six thousand "friends" on Facebook! Why???

My sister has thousands of FB  "friends."   They're not real friends though.  Would any of them drive her to the airport at 2AM?   Lend or give money during financial hardship?  Help during sickness?  NO.  These types of friends are merely "Good Time Charlies."  

Blood is thicker than water.

[boltnrun]

14 minutes ago, Cherylyn said:

Blood is thicker than water

Not always. I have a couple of people who are blood related but I do not feel any sort of emotional connection to them. And they certainly are not on my "friend" list on social media! 

I'm very mindful that social media is not private. Anyone with even moderate skills is able to get past blocking or so called privacy settings. So I don't post anything that I wouldn't want my employer to see, for example. And even on this forum I conceal my identity. I don't live where I have implied I live and details I've provided about myself are not accurate. There's enough info about us available online, I don't need to add to it!

[Cherylyn]

Just now, boltnrun said:

Not always. I have a couple of people who are blood related but I do not feel any sort of emotional connection to them. And they certainly are not on my "friend" list on social media! 

I'm very mindful that social media is not private. Anyone with even moderate skills is able to get past blocking or so called privacy settings. So I don't post anything that I wouldn't want my employer to see, for example. And even on this forum I conceal my identity. I don't live where I have implied I live and details I've provided about myself are not accurate. There's enough info about us available online, I don't need to add to it!

Regarding family within my geography, there are some relatives and in-laws who have my back whereas thousands of FB so-called friends are casual acquaintances at best.  They're "Good Time Charlies" which is to be expected.

The problem is not everyone is as mindful as you @boltnrun.  I've heard and seen it all.  😬 🤨

[Coily]

I agree with Bolt, there are some "family" who I wouldn't trust with change let alone my best interests. On the other hand I have social media friends, who I have eventually met and would trust with my life. Like with any group of people, you have them all. Social media just casts a wider net, you get the good and bad.

Most of my social media use is to keep up with friends I have in my hobbies, we're spread out over thousands of miles and see each other maybe twice a year. Some of them I have given rides to hospitals for cancer treatments, or helped move; even when hours away. They have done the same for me in emergencies.

I stand by my point that some people use social media as validation. Especially when they are disconnected from their local community. Lo got me to thinking on this, I think with as helpful as social media has been it comes at a cost. I may never know my neighbor, but I know the intimate details of a friend's life on the other side of the world. It's glorious and sad.