Im sorry to say that after this happened we reconciled and continued our online relationship. We were supposed to meet each other but she claimed she fell down and broke her pelvis, and she blamed me for it. She flew to another country for surgery but they told her she wasn't on the list for surgery. She said she is currently looking for a surgeon and has no idea when she will find one and when we would be able to meet. Anyway she became even more toxic and negative and I started to pull away and she blames me etc. I sent her this email:
I ignored your calls because you are an evil narcissist and you have been playing with me and my emotions all along. You put me in a positionn where I truly did not know what to do.I feel sorry for you, thats why I didnt block you. This relationship was toxic and wasn't going anywhere, you never cared about me, you just want power and control over people its how you get off. I know all about you and your sick twisted games you play with me and others. You are in control of your actions and you know exactly what you are doing, regardless if you are mentally ill or not. You play sick twisted mind games for your own sick twisted pleasure.
Half of the things you ever told me were nothing but lies. I don't understand how you can live with yourself. You will never find someone else like me, but I guess you arent even interested in any real relationship with anyone anyways. You are just interested in lying, manipulating, controlling, abusing, and hating. I feel so sad right now. I feel sad for you, and for me. What a complete and total waste.
Despite everything you did to me, I truly hope you get better. You need to understand that the way you treat people and misleading them for your own twisted pleasure is wrong (name). I hope you dont put anyone else through what you put me through again ever again. I truly hope you understand and acknowledge the words I have written here.
Goodbye
She responded saying she wasnt my enemy and never was and wants me to live happily etc etc and that she did love me at one point in time but I ruined it, After now responging to her replies for a couple days, I felt bad and unblocked her but didnt message her. Then a day later she blocked me and thats where we are at now.
I feel like I need therap after this relationship. This girl is no immature, selfish, entitled, and unbelievably unfair and delusional I dont know what to say. I just wish I could forget her and stop caring about her.