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Will I ever get to date someone or even get laid?


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I've never had a girlfriend nor have I been laid. Hear me out before y'all comment the same thing I've been hearing over and over again. It's easy to just sit there and say that you're not trying enough or that you just want it easy. All the ty advice, suggestions and tips I've read so far say the same thing. Put yourself in those situations, go out more, dress well, confidence. I've done all that without googling that . I've tried everything, literally moved to another country to try my luck there. Nothing works unless you're good looking. I've wasted so much money going to the club, I've tried approaching multiple women and the closest I've got is getting an Instagram account and when I made the move (like I did countless times), she turned out to be a ing gold digger. I've talked to a lot of women, ik what to say, hell, I'm the one who talks to girls from my friend's Instagram and they love it, but only coz my friend is ridiculously good looking. I've had chicks politely decline to straight up ignore me when I approached them and offered to buy a drink or asked for a dance. Nothing works unless you're good looking. There'll be plenty of gold diggers who will come to you when you get a good paying job, but I'm not gonna waste my hard earned on them. I'm going to buy myself some hookers. Way cheaper, it's about as much as I spend on a gram of weed, but since I can afford both, why not. Tbh, I've never been in a relationship, when I told this girl I had a crush on her, she literally started freaking out and was crying, made it sound like I had raped her or something. All I wanted was to date someone, have a good time and stuff. Sex would be great too. Since that ain't gonna happen, why not just spend some money on cheap (but clean) hookers and keep myself engaged with other things. Just in case someone decides to read this and actually take the time to reply, I'd appreciate that but if all you're going to say is either wait for it or go out more, I'm gonna lose it. I've spent so much time, money and effort that I don't feel bad about myself. It's not my fault. I did everything I could and would still do to the best of my abilities. Call me insecure or whatever you want, I tried and failed spectacularly. Btw, here's a pic of myself just in case. I'm open to comments about my appearance. So go crazy.

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I've had a look at your photo and first of all, you are not even unattractive! I actually pictured someone obese or with acne or something lol No offence to someone obese or with acne! I'm overweight and have a bit of acne myself. What kinds of girls are you trying to pick up? Are they really attractive? Maybe they're a bit out of your league?


I know it's difficult for guys on online dating and in bars and stuff but you look fine, so it shouldn't be impossible. In your post you actually sound very negative and like you're really feeling sorry for yourself. Women don't like that. People are drawn to happy, positive people. I think you need to have a good attitude and not think negatively about everything. Also I think finding a girl should happen naturally. Bars are probably not a good place because people are just looking for hookups and are likely to go for hotties. I think you need to socialise as much as possible in every day life environments. I don't know what else you expect people to say to you because you said if people give advice "you're gonna lose it". You sound a bit aggressive to be honest...

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That's my first thought too, are you trying to date women out of your league and this is why you're so frustrated?


I bet you could get loads of dates, but you're in the wrong pool of women.


As for a hooker. I'm not going to judge. That's your call and yours alone. I don't feel there is anything "clean" about any hooker, no matter what she tries to tell you.

It's a risk in many ways.

But if you're willing to take the risk, then that's completely up to you.

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I’m not going to click on your photo. I’m amazed anyone did.

It’s irrelevant what you look like anyway.


You remind me of a TV advertisement , where a girl is on a first date with an average guy , sees a hot guy , who she passes her number to on way back from toilet to her date.

He subsequently calls her and he sounds like an idiot on the phone. She quickly hung up lol.


I can’t remember what the ad was about but it made me laugh so much!!!


It sounds like you are trying with girls out of your league tbh?

That might be out of your league wrt looks or intelligence?


Figure out which and you will be well on your way!!


Have you ever turned down girls ? That you even know of?

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I'm also not up on all of the hooker stuff, but isn't it still illegal?


I think that would really depend where you live...In the state I live in Australia it's legal to work in a brothel and there are actually government laws that apply for protection of sex workers and their clients. The sex workers have to get STD tests every three months and if they have STD's, they can't work in a brothel anymore. Street walking is illegal here. I think prostitution is still illegal in some states in Australia though.

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It's hard to tell as we don't know how you actually approach women, perhaps you are too anxious when approaching them, and that's why they say no. In your post you actually sound negative and bitter, sorry. Buying drinks and asking for a dance does not have to work all the time, some girls, like me, go to the club to dance and enjoy themselves, not necessarily flirt/hook up with men. Do you actually have any female friends? Maybe try to be friends with women before making a move, or just spend more time with women to get to know them a bit more.

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You look like The Weeknd? Are you the weeknd?


Look, just stop whatever you are doing, because it's not working. Instead of focusing on getting a date, try speaking to women like you would when meeting a new friend. Join meetup.com, and make friends with people with common interests that aren't revolving around chasing girls. Make friends, who will know friends, and have them set you up over time. I know everyone will say, "you gotta be in it to win it," but people can smell agenda from a mile away. Just kick back, and really get to know someone who will know others. Stop focusing on the looks - people with humps, overbites, missing appendages can be rocking out with amazing partners any day of the week.


What you need to feed is the soul. If you're not sure what you like/enjoy/interests (not ladies), then go find yourself.

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I know you are here venting, but the words you chose it seems you don't particularly respect woman. Chicks, gold diggers and cheap hookers.


It also doesn't seem like you are looking to cultivate a relationship with them. It's a `mean to an end' sort of sense I am getting. . in the hopes to get laid, as you put it. Women can sense this, you know.


Do you know any women that are platonic friends? And if you do, maybe ask them for some honest feedback.

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the words you chose it seems you don't particularly respect woman. Chicks, gold diggers and cheap hookers.




OP, look around at the rest of the world. People of all shapes, sizes and levels of attractiveness get together.


You are clearly attracted to women that wan't nothing to do with you.


You need to change the type of woman you are attracted to.


You need to find a purpose in life beyond just trying to date and sleep with women.


You need to work on letting go of your bitterness and take responsibility for the defects in your character that are off-putting to women.


If you are radiating sunshine, people will want to bask in your warmth. Not so much if you are bitter and salty all the time.

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Actually something I've realised is that the more you put yourself out there, the more you get rejected. It's happening to me as well. I was in a 2+ year relationship and was engaged but been single a number of months now. I've been doing online dating and going to singles events. I'm overweight so yes I do get rejected. I have a very beautiful, slim best friend and guys are always all over her every time we go out and I usually get ignored. I used to be really jealous about it and it's taken me a long time to accept it.


The thing is yes life is easier for hot people, but you need to keep in mind that most people are actually average. If you imagine a bell curve graph, most people are in the middle part. Then you get a small number of people on the "extreme" ends of the graph, who are either really attractive or ugly. Honestly from your picture you look absolutely fine. If anyone asked me just by looking at your photo, would I have sex with that guy, technically I would say "yes".


I actually think that the approaches you are using to meet women are the least likely to work. In my experience women are more likely to have sex with a guy they actually know, rather than a total stranger they just met in a bar or on Tinder. I actually stopped using Tinder because I was looking for a relationship and there were too many guys trying to get sex. I also didn't like how in bars I'd be talking to guys and instead of just asking for my number, they'd ask me to go back to their place. Women are more interested in emotional connection (mostly) even than looks. So yes in a bar maybe you're not having success, but that's because they don't actually know you.


Again the best advice people here have given you is interacting with women in everyday life. You need to treat women well and be nice. Don't straight away start hitting on them or ask them to your place or whatever. Nobody likes desperation or coming on too strong either. I met all my ex's through being friends in real life first. I was good friends with one of my ex's for three months before we dated. There needs to be connection. Negativity and feeling pissed off will never do you any favours, so you need to work through that.

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The more desperate and/or lonely you get, the more difficult it will become to find somebody. Desperation is not an attractive or endearing quality to anyone. Focus on what you love to do, what you have passion for and perhaps some interesting people will come your way while you're on that path. But the point is not to worry about that, but instead focus on what it is in life that gives you fullfillment. Also, it's important to note there's no such thing as a clean hooker. Any tryst you enter into with one is risky by virtue of the nature of the transaction. Be smart. Smart is attractive. Lonely, desperate and easy is not. It's your call.

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Thanks for all your suggestions guys. Ik I came off as super negative, annoying, irritable and just a pathetic loser, but I was just frustrated when I was writing that post. I have immense respect for women and am not the typical Indian show bob vagene guy. I mostly interact with women ik and it hasn't always gone well for me. I have never turned down a female, but that's because no one has ever approached me in the past. And it took me a while to reply here because I was trying to figure out how and realized that all I had to do was just login lol. Sorry about that. In fact, after going through this thread, it cheered me up a lot that I had pretty fun conversations with the women I met today. I never go for women outside of my league and ik that never works. The only reason why I went to the club and offered to buy drinks was because I was trying something new. I've actually managed to dance with 2 or 3 girls but the negativity with the way they rejected me or straight up ignored was what lead me to use such terrible language whilst referring to the same. That was never the intention and after digging through multiple websites, all I could find was the same response over and over again that just didn't make sense to me as I was doing everything they were asking people like me to do. I've had a colleague accuse me of sexual assault once and all of that just adds up. Of course, I've never assaulted women, let alone get into flights in the first place ever. I'm the type of guy that just takes insults to the face and walk out like it never happened. In fact, I would never be able to get angry at anyone regardless of what they've done to me. A few days back, one of my friends, whom I considered a brother to me, used a proxy to steal my huge stash of weed and he still is playing all these games with me like he never did it but it was the proxy who's the villain and that he's super pissed and all. I haven't even talked to him about this issue despite having proof that it was him who did it. Sounds like I come off as a overly concerned and nice guy, but I'm not really. I respect people and value their privacy and understand when a person wants to have fun alone and when someone is looking for someone to talk to. That's the people I approach, the average ones. I wish I could go for the hot ones, but to this day, I've never approached someone like that, I've only maintained either professional or friendly relationships with people like that. My concern was that the women who knew me and who kept telling me how much of a nice guy I am and blah blah blah were who I've asked out. When that didn't work out, over the period of a few years that I finally decided to go to the club and find random people to socialize with and see if they were interested in continuing the conversation on a later date. That hasn't worked out as well. As I said in the post, I will not stop trying, but I have every intention to have sexual relations with a prostitute, possibly in the coming weeks. I'm too curious now, being 23 years old, seeing people around me get laid multiple times a week, I just can't play the waiting game anymore. Sounds like a bad idea, ik, but I'll definitely be using protection. There have been times when a pack of condoms have been lying around in my backpack or jacket pocket for entire semesters, until I finally give it away to a friend who constantly gets laid every day or week. I'm not someone who talks to women in the hope of nailing them the same night, in fact, I'd rather have it take time so I could savour every moment that leads up to it and experience the joy and pleasure of romance first hand. To this date, I've only seen it in movies or in my friend circle. Quite unfortunate, but while that post was being written, it was 10 am in the morning and I had been up the whole night trying to understand where I was going wrong and was just, pissed. That was really immature and I'd like to apologise for it.

Again, thank you so much for the responses and after reading this if anyone has a different suggestion, I'd love to hear that.

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Also to the person who asked me to start working out, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to realize that having a healthier lifestyle would go a long way in helping out. I used to weigh almost 110 kgs, that number has gone down to 85 over the past few months. I've had issues with weight before, but there were times when I was going through depression and yada yada yada, the usual. I'm not looking for sympathy here, my life was miserable for a while until I took action and straightened things out. I may be many things but definitely not a snowflake. I take insults and abuses to the chin and walk out without a scratch. I like to consider myself sophisticated and mature, not a wannabe thug or cool guy.

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Have you tried meeting women in different venues? The clubs aren't always the best place to meet someone, Ed Sheeran can tell you that..ha. Just kidding.

But no, seriously, they are full of women who are seeking attention from the wrong guys.


Have you tried meetups? It's a site online for meeting people. Maybe in a different setting after you've gotten to know someone a bit better it would work out better.

What about cooking classes or those type of hobbies where you could meet someone who shared a common interest?


Have a friend set you up? Dating sites? They do work, sometimes. You sit and chat with someone till you get to know them, it might work better.

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Tried all the above, except for the meetups part. It's a work in progress. There are some events happening nearby that I get to know through Facebook, usually go attend those, but it's hard to find single women at such events. Dating sites are all the same. I keep swiping everyday, get a few matches, but most of them are outta my league and are really just doing what I'm doing, just swiping. The ones I do end up talking to, usually turn out to be older women who abruptly end the conversation by saying that I'm too young for them. Looked into meetups, signed up, chose a few events and am planning to go to them soon. Maybe it's not time yet. I can be patient tho. Like I've always been lol, provided the prostitute thing works out. Eastern Europe isn't a hard place to find women involved in this industry. Turns out, it's pretty cheap and with my kinda income, it'd really be easy to afford em and still play the waiting game.

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A few days back, one of my friends, whom I considered a brother to me, used a proxy to steal my huge stash of weed and he still is playing all these games with me like he never did it but it was the proxy who's the villain and that he's super pissed and all.


Dude -- seriously, if you want a quality woman, stop stashing weed. Women like interesting men -- men who have interests in things besides marijuana and clubs. A guy who volunteers, has interests, is always trying to learn something new may be a dud at the bar, but he will be meeting the quality women in other places because women have a reason to talk to him. And forget "THE APPROACH" -- just go get some interests and women and be a quality person and women will notice. And you will feel more confident because you like yourself. Women with jobs in a professional setting won't risk dating someone whose interest is drugs.

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Getting a date should be possible. If you swipe right enough times and aren't a total turn off you will get dates. You may have to try a few different apps - every area is different which apps are a good investment. It may take a real amount of time and effort. In the first few messages you get a feel for them as a person. Then you ask them out. If they say yes, you make plans. I don't know what your rate is going to be, but it's going to be something like 1000 swipes turns into 100 messages turns into 20 "yes" to a date turns into 10 follow through. Every person and every app and every location is going to have a different rate, but it shouldn't be impossible.


If you aren't swiping right that much, you may need to swipe more. However poor the rest of your approach, more swiping should increase your success rate. Note that it also means more rejection. You have to grow a thicker skin. There's nothing unique about how hard it is for you to find dates. I'd bet more people are like you than find it easy.


About the rest of your approach, it really helps in those first few messages to: 1) be interesTED, and 2) be interesTING. If you lack in either of those it will be a lot harder. Pay attention to what she says about herself and ask good questions to find out more. If you can't make yourself sound interesting, that may be due to lack of self esteem, or you may need to actually make some serious life changes so that you have something to talk about. NO one wants to hear about your fight with your friend over a stolen weed stash. What do you care about in life? How are you improving yourself? Where are you headed? Having good, honest answers about these kinds of things are a huge aphrodesiac. Not having a clue will be a turn off.

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