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kim42

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  1. Thanks everyone, I'm glad I'm not alone feeling like this, I went out with a different group today and felt much better.
  2. Hi Rose, no, it wasn't my first time out, I've been going out more lately, it's a conscious decision as I was feeling very isolated because of the home office thing. I only knew one girl from the group, but they were all nice, I don't know why I felt so out of place. Maybe I'm putting too much pressure on myself.
  3. Hey everyone, I don’t know if someone can relate to this, I don’t feel like myself lately, and I realized some social situations that I used to enjoy before covid are now stressful for me. Last night I went out with my friends, just a small group of girls, we went to this nice bar, I was looking forward to it, I did my makeup, put on a nice dress but in reality, I wasn’t really having fun. I felt uneasy the entire time, I just couldn’t relax and be myself, I felt like everyone else was funnier than me, I felt boring and unattractive. I used to like going out, laughing and being care-free, and I just could not do it last night. I felt stressed out as if I wasn’t doing enough – I wasn’t outgoing enough. I think this is just all in my head, I was talking to my friends and new people too, I never had these thoughts before, I don’t why I am overthinking this so much. I just want to be able to go out, have fun without feeling inadequate. I think it might be like this because I’ve been working from home for along time now, and subconsciously I am afraid I’m losing my social skills. I try to go out and do many activities on weekends, I just don’t know why going out has become so stressful for me. I’m not sure if the above makes any sense, I hope someone can understand, please tell me I’m not alone feeling like a weirdo in social situations.
  4. I'm so glad to read this, I've been sexually assaulted several times and also had a very traumatic experience with my ex, and I've been working on my myself a lot recently, thanks for sarin your positive mindset!
  5. That's true, I think my mom is worried that I might end up in the same situation as she did, so maybe that's why she'd like to see me married and settled (her favorite word).
  6. Thank you everyone for your advice, I read everything, and besides my self-esteem issues (this is a very long process for me), I think I need to stay away from social media for a while to avoid comparing myself to other people. One of my cousins that I hadn't seen in a while told me it's high time that I find a serious boyfriend at my age. Things like this make me questions myself, although I know that life doesn't end when you are 30. I'll try to focus more on my life and my happiness than what m cousins think 🙂
  7. I think this marriage thing is very Eastern European, we're still a little traditional, and honestly my mom would love to see me married soon, she's afraid that if I wait too long, I'll stay single forever. I mean, I want to get married one day, I just don't want to do it because I'm supposed to, but because I want to do it myself. I think I compare myself to other people sometimes because I have self-esteem issues, it's an ongoing struggle.
  8. Mostly my family, I have much older cousins who are already settled, they live in a house and have children, so sometimes I feel that they will take me more seriously once I get married. I often feel misunderstood by my own family, although they are supportive.
  9. I’ll be soon turning 30 and I’m in this weird phase in life. I thought I was happy with what I was doing but it seems that different things are expected at my age. I’m not married, I don’t have children, I have a steady job and many friends, and I feel the pressure to settle down, and it honestly scares me a little. I’m scared of this idea that we should all follow the same timeline, but I just can’t escape all these questions about marriage, boyfriends, buying an apartment, and sometimes when it’s just too much, I feel like a failure. Is it bad that I want to do things at my own pace? I don’t know if this is something that happens to everyone once they turn 30, or if it’s just me overthinking things, but sometimes I feel lost, as if I had to tick off some boxes to make everyone happy, and to give the impression that I’m doing the right things. I don’t think I am a failure, I moved to a different country, got my master's degree here, I think I am successful for my age, but lately I’ve been feeling as if it wasn’t enough. And then I just end up comparing myself to everyone else and I feel miserable – I avoid doing this though. Can anyone relate to this? I hope this makes sense, please tell me I’m not the only one who is confused.
  10. You will see if there you actually go on second date or not, it's too soon to make any conclusion after one date. Keep yourself busy with work and friends in the meantime 🙂
  11. I was invited to some really crazy parties when I was younger (Eastern European style 😃), but there was nobody destroying any furniture. You don't have to do anything too crazy if you don't want to, good music and alcohol are okay, no need to overthink it 🙂
  12. He texted me last night, while I was already asleep, and it turned out he wanted to ask me out for a night stroll. I have the impression he just wants to have sex.
  13. I don't mean it in a bad way, I used to overanalyze every guy I'd go on a date or text with, and now that I do it less, I feel better 🙂
  14. I didn't read the entire thread, and I think it's great to ask for advice, but maybe you should not over analyze one woman this much, do you have friends/social life?
  15. So my friend just told me he's been asking her out for drinks, and basically texting her all the time. So probably no second date with this guy 🙂
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