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ilios69

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Everything posted by ilios69

  1. ilios69
    absolutely,positively,NOT..the only thing there is no excuse for..i would never be able to lay next to her again..
  2. ilios69
    hello,i went through the same thing,which is how i found this website.i was like you i hung on hoping things would change but they never did.you need to move on its gonna hurt for a little while but you will start healing and not feeling that feeling you feel when you dont get the love your giving back.i was hanging on for all the wrong reasons.but when i finally realised things were never going to be the same i started getting closure in my life.there are plenty of people out there that are willing to give back the love you have to offer to them....good luck to you....
  3. ilios69
    i dont mean short term relationships,i was talking about long term relationships.one that has been going on for years,what causes these changes how could you be happy with someone for 4 yrs and in a couple of months it turns to crap.
  4. ilios69
    good for u lisa glad to see your getting stronger
  5. ilios69
    hey im sorry for your situation,but i must tell you as someone that went through the same thing.being friends with someone you still have feelings for is impossible.because as soon as you see or hear about there new significant other you just reopen the wounds.and i feel like i was getting strung along for the ride till she met someone new.and i had lost all trust in her.which like someone said when you dont have trust in this person how can you be friends.good luck to you
  6. ilios69
    your a little to young to be dealing with situations like this(no offence)i think just give her all the space she wants i have to agree with vitalcoaching if you get to clingy and needy that will just turn her off even more.
  7. ilios69
    hello all can someone explain to me how a beutiful relationship,from dreaming about spending the rest of your life with someone,to wanting to start a family with this person,turns into a horrible relationship to not being able to stand the person anymore.how does this happen i was just curious if anyone had the answer to this.
  8. ilios69
    as hard as this is to hear Cecilius is absolutely right
  9. ilios69
    hey man i know what your going through,if you have lost trust in her than just pack your bags and hit the road.because now it is time for her to gain your trust back.i wasted another year and a half into a 4 yr relationship with a women that i should of dumped the first time she lied to me.because now every time your not with her your going to wonder if she is with trevor.do yourself a favor and dont do anything stupid to her or to him.there just not worth it.your just going to drive yourself crazy and constantly accuse her and question her.shes going to tell you that your crazy and just never admit to it anyway unless you just catch her in the act.sorry to be so harsh but thats the way it is.how can a relationship work if there is no trust?
  10. ilios69
    hey lisa you sound so sad,i truly am sorry for the pain you are going through.today i saw my ex in court,she came with her new boyfriend,i will not lie to you i was raging mad,and i felt hurt and betrayed yhat she found someone to fill my shoes so fast.I have been on a couple of dates with other women but i catch myself comparing them to my ex.You need to get him out of your head and the sooner you do that the sooner you will start your healing.talk to friends and family dont feel like you are boring them because these are the people that truly love you.if i can help you in anyway feel free to ask,or you can pm me if you want to know something private.start today as your first day of healing.take care for now...G
  11. ilios69
    Dear lisaria,my closure took about 4 months of constant agony and pain.I kept holding on. we were friends and we were still sleeping together,that was the first mistake i made.i should of just stopped all communication with her maybe it would not of been so painful.as murrayfaces said,everytime i went back and we had another fight the wounds would just get reopened.so i decided to get on with my life and just totally have nothing to do with this women anymore.the day i decided to do that this heavy load that was on my back just lifted right off,and i felt like i havent felt in months,i honestly had a great nights sleep and woke up relaxed and feeling great.i feel the no contact rule really wasnt working and i used that as an excuse to still feel that there might be a chance for us to work it out.but our situation always ended up to be the same.so whatever issues everybody has with there ex-es will always be there and if you feel you cant live with these issues then its time to move on and you will get your closure.
  12. ilios69
    hello all my friends who are in pain like i have been for the last couple of months.I just want to tell you all that time heals all wounds.I know your all sick of hearing that but trust me it is true.what gave me closure was something someone on this website had said to me in one of my posts.she told me that sometimes it takes a shock of something the other person does to help you get over them.now i look back and realize how stupid i was for running home to check my messages to see if she had called or calling my cell phone during the day to see if she left me a message
  13. ilios69
    i just want to thank everyone for there advice...even you pepsimix...LOL...it was good getting a womens advice...anymore?...G
  14. ilios69
    First off im sorry for what your going through,im pretty much in the same situation,just like everyone here.But i think if your doing all the hurting you should do whats best for you.you can do the no contact and see how you feel and how she feels.after all she dumped you and expects you to always be around for her. she might realize what she had and the 2 of you can work it out.best of luck to you
  15. ilios69
    Hello all,about a month ago my girlfriend of 4yrs.and i broke up.Mostly her decision but i knew it was right because of the constant fighting.Anyway thursday i called her and of course i turned into a fight.Because i asked her if she was still on birth control,and she said yes.i asked her if she is seeing someone else she told me no..But why would a women stay on birth control if she wasnt sleeping with someone else.She also told me she still wants to be friends.I just missed her so much i knew i shouldnt of called her,but i did.I thought by now i would be over her but i still think about her every day.But the thought of her with someone else is turning my stomach.I really dont know what to do anymore other than just leave her alone,and let her call me.But she knows how i am and if we ever get back together she will never tell me if she slept with someone else.Am i going to wonder that forever because thats just going to put us back to the beging which caused the break up in the first place.......Any advice will be greatly appreciated....G
  16. ilios69
    Good for you bro,dont listen to anyone.I dont think i could even face my x.nevermind taking her back.Im glad your moving on.
  17. ilios69
    i will be honest with you,ever since i realized that my trusting issues had pushed her away,they have gone away for the most part but it does cross my mind every now and then.i know i need to fully get over that 100%before we can be back together for good but its so hard.i cant just not see her,she has 2 daughters that i have been the only man in there life and they rely on me my girlfriend is a widow and owns her own home,so i still feel its my job to go do the "guy stuff"around her house when she cant.i mean if i follow the no contact and she needs help with something and calls me i just cant say no.
  18. ilios69
    twizod i just want to tell you im going through the same exact thing,my girl is giving me the same answers,i think the best thing is to take very very slow,because i give her pressure it seems like she just pulls back into her shell.unfortunately not to many people,gave me there opinion i had to figure it out for myself. i think geecee&princess gave the best advice and im going to follow it because me and my girl truly love each other. so just go real slow give her space and i think the 2 of you will be ok. and as to your post no one can figure out the female species.
  19. ilios69
    sweet harmony,i was not the one that had pulled away she is,yes this weekend we did have sex.we have never officially broken up.we would have our fights.it has just gotten to the point that we always fight i explained my situation,in another post maybe you can read it and give me more of a womens point of view.i have asked her what she wants and she always tells me she dosent know.we still love each other its just the tension and fighting is to much.i have explained to her that i love her and want her as my girlfriend.please read the other post.its titled as having serious relationship trouble(kind of long) i think its in the breaking up section.thank you .
  20. ilios69
    hello,ive been having trouble with my girlfriend for about 1 yr now,we have been dating 4yrs.anyway i posted here about 2 wks.ago.i have been giving her space and not calling her but she calls me.we hadnt seen each other for 2 wks,last weekend we spent the weekend together and there was no tension and no fighting.i didnt call her since, and last night she called me and sounded upset,i asked her whats wrong and she kept telling me nothing.i dont understand women.so now it seems to just be the same thing all over again,and im the one feeling upset.it seems like she gets upset when i dont call her,i dont bring up our problems anymore,and i just told her its up to her to decide what she wants.i dont understand how we can have a great weekend together,and then 2 days later shes distant towards me again.i dont think the no contact rule is working,i think its just making things worst.i didnt get to many replies on my other post maybe this one will help me a little more.
  21. ilios69
    i think you should let her sort things out,your question was if she calls you as a friend what you should do?well if you care for her then absolutely be a friend.dont pressure her into getting back together when she calls,this will only push her further away just be a friend and listen to her.dont even bring up the relationship problems.
  22. ilios69
    well about one month ago,i had bought tickets to a show ,the show was saturday night and we went together and had a great time.we did alot of talking and she explained why she wants to go with just her daughters.then sunday morning she called me up and invited me over for dinner and told me to bring my laundry up and she would do it while we were hanging out,she also made me lunch to take to work with me the next day ..these are the things she had stopped doing for me and now im wondering why she is coming around again.we had a nice weekend lets see how long it will last to our next fight.
  23. ilios69
    thanks for the advice eric.
  24. ilios69
    im sorry but i have to disagree.there is absolutely no second chance for a cheat.
  25. ilios69
    my girlfriend of 4 yrs and i are having big problems,about 2 yrs.ago she lied to me about where she was going and i found out.she swears up and down that she wasnt with another guy.ever since then to about a year ago i found it very difficult to trust her every time she told me she was going somewhere i would question her.i was very cold to her,only because i love her so much and i was very hurt .anyway the last year i have noticed she has pulled very far away from me and now that i have gotten past the lie,she says that i hurt her to much for her to be the person she was.she says she loves me very much ,and every time we speak on the phone she tells me she loves me,we still have sex but now we dont speak on the phone everyday or see each other every weekend because every time we are together we argue.she has totally shut down in the emotion dept.dosent hold my hand dosent kiss me hello.we have agreed to be friends but when i go to her house and i dont see the pic of me and her on her nightstand i get aggravated,there is always tension between us even when we speak on the phone.and i am always the one to ask her if she wants to hang out.and its always a hesitant yes when she says yes.i love her so much but i feel every time i call her or go over there i just push her further away.and when she acts cold towards me i just get more aggravated and we have a fight or just sit there and not say 2 words to each other.the other day i found a birthday card from some other guy,it was just a plain card no i love you written in it signed your friend.but her birthday is in july why has she kept this card for almost a year.she is on my mind constantly,and the thought of loosing her is driving me nuts.and i cant ask her about the card because i was snooping,it was in her dresser and she got a new dresser about a month ago so you cant say she just forgot it there.we did every thing together now we dont do anything together,she is even thinking of going on vacation with her daughters,and she didnt ask me if i want to go.i dont know if i should just leave her alone and let her sort things out,but she gets hurt when i dont call her to see how she is doing.this is really the only person i ever truly loved,i have never had a break up bother me before but this one is just driving me crazy.she says im to demanding and i treat her like a little kid.but i dont think i do whats the big deal telling your boyfriend where you are.she also has 2 daughters that i love very much,and i still want them in my life.any advice would be very helpful.thanks for listening,because every time i try to talk to her its just the same thing she thinks im telling her everything she does is wrong,but im not im just trying to tell her if she can be loving again i can be the person i was and we can be very happy together.
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