bridgetjones74

It is a strange situation for me but because I know him so well I don't believe he is using me. I've tried before after the breakup to get close and he always backed away...being naked and all over him was something that wouldn't phase him in the least...as he's always said, if it doesn't feel right to him he won't do it so maybe there is hope. Maybe he doesn't want to be together at the moment and it could have been a final fling but for now I'm holding on to a little bit of hope. Were best friends and I will continue to be here for him if he needs me, I can't lay all the blame on him for what happened...I wanted it to and didn't hold back & I'm old enough to know if it feels right for me or not and it did feel right so I went for it. Honestly after being without him this past month I've gotten a bit stronger and I can see that it's very possible that despite his feelings for me and despite the fact that we slept together he may still feel that we just won't work and I've accepted that and will cut all ties and move on with my life in that case. The crying has stopped, the feeling of complete despair is gone and sleeping together didn't change much for me, I didn't break down and lose control...I'm still moving forward and trying to get my life back...if he's gonna be a part of it time will tell, until then I'll work, hang out with friends and do what makes me happy. I already know what a great catch I am and if he doesn't see it then I am better off without him.

My 2 yr. relationship ended about a month ago, was good except for the last 2 months...we argued and he couldn't deal with it so he dumped me. I didn't follow the NC rule at first but eventually gave into it and we went 12 days no phone calls or visits. I called him up one night ended up over there and we slept together. He of course fawned all over me, told me how beautiful I looked, how he missed the way I smell and he missed my touch. Anyway, we ended up sleeping together the next 2 nightsn also and now here I am. He told me I had given him a lot to think about and that he would contact me when he was ready. Told me he loved me and just stared at me the whole time we were together. Just curious to know if I'm being a sentimental fool in thinking I have a chance...does his treatment of me those 3 nights mean anything, he treated me with so much love and made it very clear that I was not just being used for sex. I need the men on the board to set me straight...would any of you guys sleep with or act this way towards someone you really didn't want to be with anymore?

I've noticed quite a few people on the boards are in the same situation that I'm in...been dumped but don't want to let go and have a lot of things they want to say to the ex..either to get them back or to let them know how much we love them so they don't have to wonder. Anyway, I've spoken with mine but can't seem to say exactly what I want or I get so upset nothing comes out right, then thought about writing a letter but again nothing sounds right on paper....tonight I heard a song...it says exactly what I feel and I've decided to send it to my ex...It's a tear-jerker. I thought some of you might want to check it out...I don't have the lyrics but if you have a program to download you should get it. It's a beautiful song. It's called "The Promise" by Tracy Chapman. It's for those of you who want to let someone know how you feel and those of you who feel there's still love and a chance with that special someone, maybe he/she has told you they love you still but aren't really sure what to do...give em' this to let em' know that if they give it some time you'll be here to talk when they're ready. Sappy stuff I know but if you love someone let them know, give them their space and maybe they'll see what they had somewhere down the road.

I just got dumped 2 weeks ago by a man I've spent almost 2 years with...we had our share of problems towards the end (last 4 months) and it's understandable that maybe some time and space was needed but to throw everything away over something that could have been worked out..why? He has admitted that I love him more than anyone he's ever been with and that I am special and beautiful and worth so much yet he continues to do this. I have finally decided to do the no contact thing as my pathetic begging, crying and pleading wasn't working but I have to say the idea of remaining friends..his suggestion...was just too much to take and I'm ticked off about it at this point. How can you possibly remain friends with someone who basically tells you you're not good enough to stay with. After sharing your body, heart and soul with someone and being told repeatedly that they can't imagine life without you how can you comprehend that suddenly you are not the person they love or want? If someone can walk away from something/someone they once claimed to love so deeply because of something minor that is indeed fixable why in the world would you want to be friends with him/her? How can you trust someone who strung you along for such a long time and then threw you out when the going got tough? I'm confused at this point and don't understand the logic behind all of this friendship stuff and having my heart ripped out by the man who claimed to be my best friend....friends don't screw each other over like that. Any words of wisdom or advice? I sure could use it right now.

I am completely lost. I don't see anything good in life anymore and I just want it to be over. I've lost my job and my significant other and it's just too gut-wrenching to wake up every day. I considered getting some help but no job means no insurance and honestly I don't think there is anything that would help me at this point. I've weighed all my options and I think that it would be better if I were dead. It's just too hard to keep going, I don't have anything left to wake up for.

I posted here not to long ago about a breakup..quick recap..he broke up with me last Wednesday due to ongoing fights for the past 4 months (together 20 months him/38 me/29), it was my fault I'd held on to some things I was angry about and started picking away at him. Anyway, when it ended he said he thought that was it and didn't see any chance of us getting together again. I didn't really follow the no contact plan..I called a few times and we had some pleasant conversations...no talk of the relationship. Tonight I broke down and drove over there and finally said what I needed to. I told him that I was sorry for everything and that I understood where he was coming from. I asked him to really think about what he was doing and if it was possible to give me another chance someday, that we had something worth keeping. He pulled me to him and started hugging me and agreed that he would reconsider all of this and if/when he was ready he'd call me. He said he realized that there was a lot of good between us and how hard this was for him, we both cried of course. I'm not sure what all this means..I told him I wouldn't be contacting him anymore because it was too hard and if he wanted me he'd have to initiate contact. Guess I'm just looking for some input, anything positive here?

I was just dumped a few days ago for the 2nd time in a month...we had been arguing for the last 4 months over every little thing, my fault I was the aggressor. Anywho, he said that right now he didn't have any intention of ever coming back to me, that he felt we weren't right in the long term because of the fighting in the past. He told me he still loved me and that you never know what might happen in the future which I know means he's done with me but I can't help myself, I keep getting the urge to drive over there to see him. I know deep down it's the wrong thing to do and that it will push him away even more but I can't take this anymore, I don't know who to turn to..I'm at my lowest point right now, haven't eaten for a few days, I cry constantly and I'm so afraid I'll never have a chance to make things right..he told me 2 months ago that he couldn't imagine his life without me and now it's over. I don't understand. I have no one to talk to, he was my best friend.

Almost 2 years ago I started dating my now ex, we were kinda set up by a mutual friend. Anyway, things were going beautifully, he turned out to be the most gentle, kind person I'd ever been with which also became a problem. The "friend" that set us up decided she wanted to play games with us, cause problems with the relationship and she did...unfortunately he didn't stand up to it at first and for a long time because it's not in his nature to be confrontational and he just wanted to ignore it and hope that it would fix itself. Anyway this is what got the ball rolling towards the breakup...we started fighting over this 6 months ago and eventually It snow-balled and got worse. We started fighting over this and that...most every fight initiated by me I'm ashamed to say. About a month ago he decided we needed a break and it lasted for about 2 weeks...we got back together but everything was awkward and 2 nights ago it ended again. He said he just didn't know what he wanted (he's 38, I'm 29) anymore and had very serious doubts as to whether or not we had what it took to make it long term, I of course got very angry and stormed out. The next I called to apologize and he started crying like a baby...told me I was beautiful, intelligent and a very special and that he still loved me very much & that I am still his best friend...he said he would take time to think about everything and that he would only think positive thoughts about me. He also told me I could call if I needed to talk. I guess I just don't understand how he could end this if it hurts him so much...maybe it's guilt that makes him feel so bad, I just don't know. Could someone please give me some input?

About a week and a half ago my boyfriend decided we needed a break due to months of petty arguments, we've been together a year and a half and are the best of friends but he said he needed time away if there was any chance of saving our relationship. I gave him a hard time about all this and a few days ago he told me he felt we just weren't right for each other. Anyway I thought maybe some of you could offer me input on his behavior...during each of our meetings he cries..we both cry, but he reaches for me and holds me, he also let me come over to his house the other night to wait for him after work...I still have the key to his house and he hasn't asked for it back. I guess I just don't understand why he would give me the boot and still let me keep the key to his home or why he would sit outside alone and cry over this if ending our relationship is what he really wants. Should I give him his space or should I fight to keep him, I'm confused as to all his mixed signals...his behavior says one thing but he is also very adamant about time apart. Thanks for any advice you have to offer.