Jump to content

GeeCee

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    795

  • Joined

 Content Type 

Everything posted by GeeCee

  1. GeeCee
    Dikaia You know, honey, that there is no pat answer for this. Some women say it because they think that it just might ease the pain of the break-up (NOT!!!), some women say it because they genuinely mean it. Now your ex cares for you a great deal, that is evident in the email that she sent you. Read it again. She cares a lot. Does she care enough to come back to you? Only time will tell. However, you put yourself in the frame when you and she are back in the same city. You know what you need to do now. I know that this is hard. Agonising even. On the one hand she gives you hope, but you just don't know how much hope. G xx
  2. GeeCee
    Twizod This is a difficult one - dear God where are the easy problems!!!! You and your ex clearly have a lot of feelings for each other and a lot of passion for each other. I will be lambasted for this, but I think that having sex can release a lot of tension and frustration and recreate some of the bonds that have been broken. So, in that respect it can be a very positive thing. The other positive thing is that it seems that either one of you can reach out to the other, without fear of being rejected. You approach her and she is welcoming, and vice versa. So what to do now. This is the difficult bit. You are neither in nor out, up nor down. You hare going to have to go real slowly now. Take a step back and use caution, because the danger is that you jump right in and the issues that caused you to break up remain unresolved. I personally would not suggest any non contact. You are able to communiate and you should continue to do this. You say that she does not talk about her emotions and she is stubborn (now where have I heard that before!!!). Ok, so give her some time. Go back home. Tell her that you have enjoyed the time you spent together and it would be very easy to jump on the roller coaster, but you really need to resolve things. Tell her that you are ready to talk when she is. Leave the ball in her court. Hopefully, when she is ready, you two will be able to communicate your feelings and hopes for the future. Try and create a little distance to give you both the space to find out what you really want. Good luck. G xx
  3. GeeCee
    SomethingFunny Perhaps in your nerves and confusion, you overlooked the fact that maybe, just maybe her world stood still for a minute and she was going through the same panic as you? The hair colour is nothing new - women do it all the time. In fact it is the first thing that I do when a relationship ends. That and lots of new shoes. As to whether this had a positive or negataive impact. I have no idea, only that it did have some kind of impact. You will have been on her mind today, without a doubt. Continue with your no-contact and get yourself into a position where you are ready to deal with teh trauma of seeing her, and next time, you might not find it nearly so traumatic. Good luck. G xx
  4. GeeCee
    I agree that your ex is being unreasonable. I cannot see a way forward on this one. You and your ex were parted when you were dating, however, I understand that she felt hurt that you were dating. I agree with you, you did nothing wrong. However, that does not negate any pain your ex felt. Sometimes, when we split with partners, we want them to do well, we wish them all the best, but we don't want them to do TOO well TOO quickly. Clearly, when you split with your ex, you had told her that you loved her and you were getting along with your life, but she has found that difficult to accept. It has dented her self-confidence. So what to do now? Well, I entirely agree with you - you cannot mess up someone elses life, you cannot fire someone because your ex does not like them or the fact that they have a crush on you - hell - American and British economy would go into nose-dive if we hired and fired on this basis. Quite apart from anything else, you could find yourself hauled in front of a tribunal - the secretary has done nothing wrong - other than have a crush on you and sometimes that is written into the Job Description!!! So, now what I think that you have to do is reassure your ex, and reassure her some more. You have made a decision and it is a good moral one. Give her some more time to think about it. Impress upon her that you love her, that you are willing to work hard at your relationship, but you cannot do this, that you believe that it is morally wrong. Good luck, I hope this works out for all of you. G xx
  5. GeeCee
    Spatz Stop panicking!!! You will be fine. You have prepared for this. Be natural, and remember why you are both there! Because you enjoy each others company and you are going to have some fun together. Everything will be just fine - remember you had a date last week and it was all good. Enjoy. G xx
  6. GeeCee
    Spatz Not too sure where you are hanging out today. Good luck tonight. Keep it tight and light. And give us all the details later. G xx
  7. GeeCee
    Yes. G xx
  8. GeeCee
    Thanks Rich I am hoping that the tidal wave of pain passed in the small hours of the night. While I don't quite feel amazing (thanks for that), I will get back to amazing. We all will G xx P.S. And don't you LOOK amazing!!! A real picture!!! You might find your social life picks up considerably after that very strategic move!!!!
  9. GeeCee
    Thanks for the laugh, D. We all needed it. G xx
  10. GeeCee
    Just to say publicly, thanks Spatz, for your reply to Juno. However, our censor has, for some reason, decided that it should be removed!!! G xx
  11. GeeCee
    ImFeelingBlue Of course you are feeling bad, you have had a dreadful confrontation with your exes new girl. You don't know whether he cares or not, you are in a sea of confustion. You are not going to like this advise much, because I imagine that you want this whole thing to be sorted out very quickly. But I will tell you this, I think that you need to distance yourself from your ex and this girl, and take care of yourself. You need time and space to think about what you want and what he can offer you. Your ex sleeping around puts you in a very dangerous position, both physically and emotionally. This is not acceptable. Try your hardest to adopt the no contact strategy. Try really hard not to contact the ex, be prepared for the agony of this, you will want to call him, text him, email him to share your pain and suffering. But try not to. This will do nothing but push him away. You need to make yourself strong again for you. And when you are in a position to talk to him without emotion clouding the conversation, attempt to do so. Good luck. You will do this. You are stronger than him. G xx
  12. GeeCee
  13. GeeCee
    What do I think? What do I think? I think that sometimes it is the small things in life that make it worth it!!! G xx
  14. GeeCee
    When you sit at your laptop and the house is silent, indeed the world is silent because it is the dead of night, you wish you could silence your thoughts, because so many race around. And you want so much to suppress them, don't they know the time, don't they show any mercy? I prefer to rage, I find it easier to scream at the injustice, to rant at how unecessary it all is. The sadness I find much more difficult. And when the tears come, I really know that I am in trouble! So, no today, was not a good day for me. I hope that tomorrow I will be like SincerelyHurt and groove to a different drum. I hope. G xx
  15. GeeCee
  16. GeeCee
    Today was like most others - did a bit of this and that - and spent too much time on this site - this is waaaay too addictive. Since the weekend, I have found that my emotions have been pretty static, there has been an acceptance that maybe this shall not work, but also I have taken to thinking in a much more patient, long-term way. The roller-coaster emotions that someone lambasted me about on my previous thread have disappeared, thank goodness. I must admit yesterday and for much of today, I was willing to give up. Ready to give up. Found the relentless monotony tedious. And then, this evening I was laughing with a friend, and thoughts of the ex came cascading over me like a wave. And I felt saddened, not for what is, but for what might have been. But the bittersweet moment, also made me think that no, I am not ready to give in just yet. So, along with some of you, I am ready for the long-haul. It won't be pretty, I guess, and sometimes it shall be agonising. But I am not quite ready to give up yet. Am reading lots. All the usual self-help stuff - honestly most of it, we could have written better, but still it makes me feel better, and it is in keeping with the new, patient me. Ok, no replies required - just using this as a journal I guess. Wow!! That takes me back to boarding school!!! G xx
  17. GeeCee
    You did everything just right when she came round for the dog. Maybe she has a lot to think about at the moment. Today you have to end your call with her (initiated by her), and now you are going out to dinner. You are right, this is a long and slow process. But you are also right, inasmuch as sometimes the days pass a little faster. Whatever happens, you are becoming a better person, more fulfilled and more independent. Good for you. G xx
  18. GeeCee
    GFinn You will find lots of information on this site about the no contact rule. Use this to your advantage to develop emotionally so that you are the person that your ex once fell in love with in the first place. When you have done that, try and initiate a little contact. Make sure that this is fun and light-hearted and leaves the ex feeling good, and yourself, of course. Give your ex and yourself time to sort out your feelings, and learn to be patient. In time, you might find yourselves back together. Good luck. G xx
  19. GeeCee
    I think that I agree with you. Just as you got complacent in your relationship, now you are getting complacent in your non-relationship. What should you do? I think that you should try and make yourself less available. Of course this will be incredibly difficult, seeing as you want to see him more, not less. But perhaps you now need to mix things up a little, and keep him wondering. At the moment he has no need to make any changes, you are in the periphery of his life and he knows that he only has to ask and you will be back in his life completely. Try and implement the no-contact strategy. Do not take his calls or see him. See if this forces a change in him. It also gives you the space to develop yourself and preparing for your next relationship, be that with him or not. Good luck. G xx
  20. GeeCee
    Terrence I am sorry, I can imagine what pain you must be feeling. Your ex seems to be very confused about what she wants right now. I really think that the best thing you can do is give her space and time to sort out her own feelings. Not contacting her will allow this. It will also give you the time you need to sort out your own confusion and start to heal yourself. No-one can tell you whether your ex will come back, but allowing her time and space, may facillitate that. Good luck. G xx
  21. GeeCee
    This was good Rich, you mixed it up a bit, gave her something to think about. Do me a favour, Rich and read your own last post, there is so much positive stuff in there. She called you. She wanted to do lunch. She looked happy to see you. RICH, THIS IS ALL GOOD. I say that you continue in this vein the next time you two see each other. And then, we will see whether it is time for a little 'push'. Good for you, Rich. You did good. Try and recognise that. G xx
  22. GeeCee
    Right Spatz! Sorry about not continuing the IM conversation, honey, but Chelsea have just gone through to the next round of the Champions League - nearly missed the winning goal. Ok, you don't need me to say this, but you are going to have a long think tonight, and all day tomorrow, about what you want to get out of this meeting tomorrow. Now, I know what you want, and you know what you want. Is your conversation at the end of it going to achieve this? Only you know the intricacies of your relationship, and what makes your partner tick. Only you know what will push her buttons. We don't. We can generalise, and give our opinions, but we don't know the full situation. I honestly think that you will do just fine, more than fine actually. You are ready for this. Do what YOU think is best. There will be plenty of time to analyse and agonise later, whatever you decide to do. Good luck, and keep us posted. G xx
  23. GeeCee
    I still wouldn't say it Spatz! I know what you want out of this, and I wouldn't say it. Your call. G xx
  24. GeeCee
    Wow, Juno, how nice of you to comment on our little thread. I am glad that you have found the post instructional. I did too. I am delighted that you have found your destructive relationships addicts program so productive and wish you more success on your next program - may I suggest Empathy with Others 101? Whilst I know that it is a particularly long thread and, thereforeeee, somewhat tedious, I think your points would have had more validity had you read the WHOLE thread - no matter. I most certainly do not have any parasitical tendencies, and I am more tham happy with the level of my self-esteem. I don't think that I have ever pretended that my ex made any promises that he did not keep, in fact throughout the thread I commended him on his honesty. I am quite happy with my level of health, but thank you for your concern. Being British (I suspect that you are an American), we tend to rely on wit and sarcasm to get us through the difficult times in life; sometimes this washes over some people. I wish you ALL the luck in the world, and continued success on all the programs you enroll on in the future. G xx P.S. Now where the hell is that jelly?!?!?!
  25. GeeCee
    Spatz Personally, I wouldn't say any of it, going on the premise that less is more. I think that the aim is for the two of you to have a good time, have a laugh etc. Why do you need to say all of this? Because it will make you feel better? I doubt it will make her feel better. See what the others think, but I would not say any of this stuff. Actions always speak louder than words. But, remember that this is only my opinion, and if you know what you want out of it, you should do it. Good luck for tomorrow. G xx
×
×
  • Create New...