JadeMonkey

Would it be better to wait til we both have a break and go home, and then invite her to go do something as friends to see how she reacts physically to my presense? It's hard to pick up on some things over AIM. And I could see her and maybe sneak a hug out of the deal Only thing that bothers me about that is the possibility of another guy coming along. Or her being to busy to do anything.

could also ask him to see a doctor. it could even be too much stress, so i don't know if asking him to take pills would help. would help the size maybe but might not cure the root of the problem with the erectile problem. all i know is having a GF ask me to take pills because im too small would be terrifying and stressful.

could it be you are allergic to latex? maybe you could just get a latex glove and see if it makes your hand itchy or something. Might sound dumb. But from the sounds of it I would guess latex allergy. then again im no doctor

just hear to say I did not enjoy my first semester at college at all, I was very depressed because i thought it was somehow going to change (compared to high school) and the only thing that changed was the availability of alcohol ... But it all got better as I slowly made friends and now I rarely even want to go home. Because home now seems boring. I would say try it out for a semester or two and then transfer your credits to a new school. I am pretty sure you can still apply to other schools while in a different one. To make the transition easier maybe you can take the minimum required credits for financial aid etc. Making less time of class and work and more time for finding fun things on campus (intra mural sports, clubs, tag coed-football )

Well I used to keep everything inside. I couldn't even let myself cry when my mother died when I was young, just pretended like nothing happened. I guess I got into a comfort zone with this girl that I have never reached with a guy friend or family (my family relationships are not real tight at all). And I guess one day the bottle broke from being too full and it spilled all over her.

In short I think I am in love with this girl and I am fighting myself to keep things going slow and not jump on her an go "OOH GOD I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU AHHHHHHHH!!" Anyway I want to know (especially from the ladies) was it a bad move for me to share so much with her? Would this scare her off because I'm not the kind of strong guy with the stiff upper lip? Her past boyfriends always seemed to that kind of guy, but i know at least one made the relationship sour by sharing nothing. I mean she knows when I am having problems because I will tell her I am feeling bad (which makes me feel worse because I tell her that a lot it seems). The only thing I haven't told her is exactly how much I care for her. So does this make me seem more like a wuss to her, so she wouldn't be interested in me because I seem like damaged goods?

did he turn it off and forget to turn it back on before going to sleep? did it go dead? ringer turned down too low? set to vibrate or something? Was this the first time? I don't think you should get mad unless this is a recurring theme with him.

Think it would be ok to just ask her where we are ? Just ask her if we are just friends ? Its not really the yes or no that is bothering me, its no knowing. I think things would be easier either way as long as I had a definate answer

my original story is at ( link removed ) So I was thinking about this last night (like there is a time I don't think about it ) Am I really in love with this girl? Or could it be some kind of weird dependancy, because I trust her with so much information that no one else gets to hear? I usually initiate contact with her (which makes me feel like she is just trying to be nice and I am always bothering her). She does trust me with some emotional details but I do not think she is willing to "tell all" like I am. That's ok, but is that just because she doesnt feel comfortable telling me yet? The reason I really think it could just be a dependancy issue is that sex doesn't play a large role in why I want to be her boyfriend. What I want most from our relationship is the closeness, when I have a problem she won't be out with her boyfriend and when she has a problem I can help her. I want to feel like I am not always alone in everything I do.

Have you tried to be friends first? I really wish the handful of girl -- friends that I have would do this more. coming from a guy .... I think trying to be friends first weeds out the guys that just want sex. If the guy just wants sex he will move around til he gets what he wants. Also if you keep getting duds look at how it all starts. I know many 'nice guys' that have lots of girl--friends and no girlfriends and it is killing them. So saying something like there are no good guys left is definitely not true. I think I am in love with my best girl--friend at this point, so do you have any guy friends that you think would like to be more ? can read my thread @ ( link removed )

hmm that seems odd ... Maybe something is going on with her to make her less happy or even shy (injured confidence?). Also when she was up in front of the room did she look angry or more scared, maybe if she looked worried or scared she was just that, and she was looking at you because she has to look somewhere and you are probably one of the more "safe" things in the room. Don't know the girl so this is my best guess. I would say ask her if there is something she wants to talk about if it continues. Just my guesses.

hmm do either of you get electives? in high school and college i find that the easiest way to make friends is people who are in your same classes out of interest (i.e. they signed up for the course because they wanted to be there, not because the board of ed. made them) me for instance, in high school I used my electives to take some nerdy classes. Visual Basic and Basic Programming, I made friends there a lot easier than in say ... Spanish. Because everyone wanted to be there and everyone had a common ground which in that case was computers and video games. I couldn't wait to get to that class and Gym class (was a good goalie so I got picked first for like the first time in any sport). Freshman year sucked, sat by myself at lunch etc... Sophmore year had a few friends from homeroom and other classes with a lot of free time. Junior year was pretty good because this is when I get to take the Basic course mentioned above. became more confident and things started toget exponentially better from here on. Senior year actually like it even though I didn't go to prom (and it doesn't really bother me so dont feel like you have to show up!, it only hurts for maybe a week if that) College is a ton more fun because as explaiend above, everyone in your major's courses wants to be there and has a common ground to talk about. All it really takes is a friend with other friends, get to be friends with their friends and so on. Pretty soon you become part of that groups social structure, pretty soon its 'hey why not ask joey joe joe if he wants to come along to the movies ?' Just some ideas and past experience ...

coming from a guy .. I could bring myself to deal with cheating once, but for me twice is it. I think you have every right to question whether or not it will happen again, and my gues is it probably will. Find yourself a guy to make you happy

As a shy guy the phrase going through my mind if a girl showed interest in me would be something close to "Thank God its about ******* time!!" And I would also add that maybe you should take a look at your pile of male friends and dig a little deeper. It may sound bad an may not be true of any of these guys but .... a lot of times that initial contact that builds that friendship was based on a higher interest. Like if a guy just starts talking to you out of the blue in class for example, I think chances are he likes you and I would say there is at least a 50/50 chance if not higher that he would go into a relationship. I am currently trying to find out how to tell a girl that I think im in love with her, or at the very least I have serious feelings for her(she is my best friend).

everyone I know from high school will describe it as hell on earth (and it was) no one was happy everyone felt alone ( the girl I had a crush on back then who appeared to be a gooddess, is now my best girl -- friend and I now know she had just as many problems as me and hated high school as much if not more then me. Even though she appeared flawless to me back then) I was very lonely in high school, when guys made fun of me (always in front of girls they liked .... to make themselves appear stronger or whatever) it made my self image go down the toilet. I am extremely shy, and its no picnic. Just let me say that College is a ton better than high school. On a bigger campus you aren't forced into a little box with the same people everyday and people (for the most part) are a little more mature.

me personally, I will always look away and not make eye contact. I am really shy so mileage on that answer may vary. And I hope those tips above are not all there is or else I am screwed.

Would also like to know thisand could use the inspiration. Currently going crazy trying to figure out if I can ask my best girl--friend if she is open to being my girlfriend

get to know her more. build a strong relationship. if you think she might get another guy and you will be stuck as a friend, let her know how you feel. (currently this is ripping me apart with a girl i like) so many of my friends have had relationships where they just start being boyfriend and girlfriend while not know much about each other, and then they usually break up. And its rarely pretty. but the one relationship I have seen survive more than any is one that grows out of a solid friendship.

for anyone in this dilema if i was the second guy in this situation I would be just as mad at the girl for 'having her cake and eating it to" as the boyfriend would be. and it also would make me think that she would do it again if we got into a relationship, so it would show (to me) a lack of self control and lack of respect. I would have to have a talk with a girlfriend of 10 years (thats freaking alomst half of the time i've been alive !!) If I wanted to go with another girl. But that is a lot of time to just throw away if the new person isn't what you thought.

You should have known you can't get into their code book maybe all us guys should make our own codes!!

As a guy I would say yeah be careful with older guys. (especially one dumb enough to look for a girl who isn't 18 when they are over 18) But I would say that you don't want to make gross generalizations about 'all' guys letting their hormones control them. That is just an unfair statement, much like the one about women drivers Some guys are horny sleeze balls (wait til later in high school and college, you can almost smell the testosterone), some guys are actually looking for a long term relationship though. And please from a really shy guy, don't always wait for the guy to come to you, its so much pressure to always be expected to ask the girl out (always putting yourself out there for the chance of heartbreak). Just thought I'd add that.

Even if he does I don't see it as a big deal. Well unless he has huge stacks of the stuff and would rather watch it then be with you. As a guy who has watched it Its pretty much about 'downtime', no guy i have ever known will go home early from a party to watch porn, or watch porn during half time of a football game. In short --- even if he does, I wouldn't really worry about it unless it starts to influence your relationship adversly.

I would say to try and meet new people anyway. If your boyfriend gets mad, just tell him what you are doing. Why should you not have new friends because you have a boyfriend. its one thing to not want to hurt him, but its different if he doesnt want other guys near you. If your roommate doesnt understand why you want to go do these things, just tell them you want to meet more people. make friends in classes if you can find the time in class to talk to others, I am a Junior in college (an EXTREMELY shy guy, so i know how hard it is to make friends) and I have met all my friends here through classes, my dorm, or friends of friends. Plus it pays to have lots of friends in your major (depending on the size of the school you will probably see them a lot through your school career). If you play a particular sport you could also sign up for intramurals and the following is a personal pet peeve: you don't have to go get drunk at parties to make friends.

Should I let her know how I really feel though? Think she would disown me if I told her about the crush and how I feel about her now? But there is also the flip side, I am a Junior, but in the same time as her last relationship (~20 months). I will be out looking for a job. She will be working on her Masters in Psych. This opens up the fact that I could go see her if she wanted (could now if I had a car ..... thanks a lot tutition for bleeding me dry). And I wouldn't want to go and see her with a new boyfriend. No offense but I think its all to easy to say get up and go do stuff, but I can't .... I have had these feelings for her since highschool (so its like 6 years) and she still doesnt know. They won't go away with a weekend of binge drinking or hanging out with the guys. Both make it worse. So I plan to play videogames and hide til sunday night when I can talk to this girl again. I have tried in the past to go out and meet other girls (usually when I feel as if this girl is not intersted) to try and 'get away' but I don't seem to get any attention from women at all, almost as if I am invisible (or im stupid and I am missing an intricate detail). I am extremely shy so I think I am very lucky to even have this girl as a friend in the first place. Think that [shyness] could be part of my problem? Thanks for the reply, I really want to get this ironed out.

Ever since High School I had a crush on this girl. All through high school I couldn't even look at her nevermind talk to her, I am way too shy. So after graduation went by and we went to separate colleges I asked a mutual friend for her AIM name and we have been talking on their for about 2 years now. All that time she has had a boyfriend though. But I think things are starting to turn sour in their relationship, she said she told him she needed some time (who knows what that means when a girl says that, everything has double meanings ),and we have been building a great friendship (at least I think so ... ). She knows things I have not and will not tell anyone else. And at this point I am not even interested in any other women on my campus. Back in high school I will admit I did think about other girls, and that is because back then I think it was just a crush. But now I think there is really something substantial happening. However she shares her feelings with me but not nearly in the volume that I do, and it has taken awhile to get her to open up (very sloooooow but I am just glad she is willing to acknowledge my esistance). We are about 1-2 hours away from each other and we live really close together, but we have never really done anything together and I want to just hang out with her for like 5 minutes .... We work all the time to pay for school, and in the past she spent all her free time with her boyfriend so there wasn't really any room for me. Should I just keep my mouth shut because of the long distance? I really dont care about the distance because the relationship I want is not about sex (can wait if she wants... ), but it would be great to see her whenever we can meet. Could she just be "being nice" ? (What kind of girl can do that for two years?) How can I get over it if she just wants to be friends and doesn't see me as boyfriend material ? Should I even ask anything about our relationship now that she is in a grief period (20 month relationship with her last boyfirend is on its way down and out it looks like, how long is too long? i.e. her getting another boyfriend before I can say anything? how long is too short? i.e. seeming like an ass for just swooping in right away). I am here because ... well I cant deal with it anymore. She helps me with a lot of my issues and I feel so close to her, but there are still these things I feel like I can't share because she would never talk to me again. Mostly because these issues are all dealing with my feelings for her. Im a junior in college, this is supposed to be the best time of my life. But instead I am alone crying and sleeping in my room all weekend ...