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Ray18321

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  1. Ray18321
    Ty. I do believe everyone is great no matter what others think. It kinda worries me that this sensitivity might cause some problems within my relationships. I get angry/depressed/jealous very easily...I guess I'll just have to learn to control myself and hope for the best. Oh and I have real trouble in public speaking. Head goes blank, my whole body (especially my neck) start to shake and my throat musle weakens so that I can barely whisper. Imagine how embarrasing it is to be shaking like that. I feel like I haven't eaten all day. That weak shakeyness from you're muscles and nervous. To know they must be laughing at you in their heads. I acually heard a laugh from the back of the class theother day when I was trying ot present withmy group infront of the class. I was shaking so bad and i get really clumsy. It's really traumatizingAnyone have suggestions? I've tried everything I could think of. It's like some kind of natural reaction. I can't even imagine myself facing hte class room because of the fear. It's like I need stronger nervous or something. I need help bad
  2. Ray18321
    I'm sorry but htis may get confusing to you, please read it anyways.Ever since I could last remember, I've felt unhappy with my life. I have great parents, pretty good grades, some friends, but no g/f. I move a lot, but thats not the problem(maybe a cause). The reason I'm so depressed is cause whenever the tiniest thing goes wrong or I'm not happy with, I get really depressed. I guess you can say I'm a perfectionist. I always have to be the best, be loved, be wanted, or at least have a girl like me. I'm what you'd call a loner and i'm always quiet in class. I get really shy around people and I feel peer pressured by others because I'm afraid. I'm not afraid because I feel unconfident or have low self-esteem, but rather vise versa. You're probably lsot by now cause I'm moving through different topics. What I'm trying to say is that I'm overly sensitive to everything, including grades, worring about assignments even if they aren't due for a long time, not being liked by girls (I get plenty of "family love" though). I'm sure that thers a girl out there who admires a guy, but I dont feel like any girl could love me or they hide it very well. I have seen a counselor about my shyness and she says it might be because of genes. Seeing her hasn't helped me much so far.
  3. Ray18321
    Well, I sent her an online card and she liked it. We have become closer since she broke up with her b/f. But I still want to tell her really bad. Anyone have ideas/comments/advice on this?: Also, I've been trying to go to hang out with her over the weekend, but she's always been busy and she will be this upcoming weekend too Any know a way I can somehow get together privately with her under these circumstances (I know it's hard to figure out because you don't know everything going on with me and her.) Thanks in advance!
  4. Ray18321
    Thanks a lot for you're help! I'll try my best to be there for her. I hope I can get over my shyness. Though, one thing still remains in question: How will I know when she is healed? Are there signs or something? I want to get to her first before she gets a new b/f. I'm sure she won't have trouble cause of great of a person she is, plus she has a lot of guy friends. I am thinking of walking her to my car(My only way to see her "outside" out of school and for us to be somewhat alone) and giving her a rose once she does heal and then tell her how I feel.[/b] I'm getting a little ahead of myself but do you think that wil be a good idea? If not, plz make a suggestion. Thanks again
  5. Ray18321
    I'm sorry about the long plot, but here is my dilema: Okay, you may remember my previous post about liking my friend who had a b/f. Well, I've been trying to tell her but I never could find the right time. We are never alone at school and we have never hung out before outside of school. We usually just chat online and sometimes on the phone. Anyways, my friend just got dumped by her b/f and she is really depressed. She just lays there in class with her head down and sometimes even crying. I really like her and I wanted to pat her back or something but we've only been friends for about seven weeks. Plus, I have the worset shyness every (long history of moving and it may be heriditary.) Her b/f used to drive her to school and back home and today I asked how she would get home and she told me her b/f probably would. I got up the courage to say "Well, if you don't want to go with him, I can give you a ride." She said something like "Thanks but that's okay." I don't know if thats a sign that she doesnt trust me enough or if she's not interested in me or maybe she isnt over her b/f yet. It really brought me down and broke my heart a little bit more. So, what should I do now? When would be the best time to wait before she heals? How do I know if she healed yet? What can I do for her? Should I tell her how I feel even though she just broke up? I know that there are no "right" answers but I do need suggestions/advice. Please help.
  6. Ray18321
    Okay, I have a new problem..arg..*sigh*. I've been thinking about what to tell her over this weekend and I find that I don't have the courage to. I tried saying it out loud and pretending shes right by me, but when I hear myself, I sound so stupid and cheesey. I like what you said prophetsword, but it's sounds rehearsed or copied. I was thinking I would say something like "Hey I need to tell you something. I don't wanna make you feel uncomfortable and I know that you're seeing *b/f's name here* but I just want you to know that I really like you. I've been trying to tell you but haven't found the courage in me to tell you until now." It doesn't feel very complete. ok, the weird thing is that it's ganna be so hard to tell her because this will take a long time to tell her and when I get to the "like you" part, I'll feel this change of tension. I wish I could just tell her instantly intead of going through this 5 min conversation. I get EXTREMELY nervous jsut thinking about it, let alone picturing her. I need advice on getting the courage to tell her and maybe what to say. Please reply quickly! Thanks.
  7. Ray18321
    Alright, alright! I'll tell her. You made a very good point ProphetSword! I tell her what you said, but in my own words or else it will sound copied. It will make things less awkward for me but a little bit more for her. I predict she will stay with her b/f for long time before she breaks up (if she does) because they seem happy. I will tell her and she'll want to remain friends, but atleast I get this off my chest. I hope we become really good friends and evenually become something more. Thanks to all three of you who posted. I really appreciate your help.
  8. Ray18321
    bexcelant - I want nothing more than to just to her, but you have to think about it from her point of view. She seems happy with her boyfriend and I don't wanna ruin it for her. If I were to tell her, it could really mess up her life and it would be the selfish thing to do. We are getting kind of close now but I still don't even have her phone number. We usually hang out at school most of the time cause we have like 4 out of 6 classes together. If I tell her now, I have no idea what her reaction could be, but I'm sure it'll make things awkward and we'd never talk very much, eventually fading out our friendship. I'd rather be the one with the pain of not being "b/f close" to her, but it's better than her having the pain to decide between her b/f and me. I'm sure she'd say something like "You're cool and all but I really like him and we've been together" or something like that. When we first met, I was all making jokes and making her laugh, but now it sucks that now I'm all depressed around her and we talk a lot less. Oh well, that's the price of love...
  9. Ray18321
    Exactly, Johnnyt, that's what I don't wanna do. It's not right and I wouldn't want it to happen to me if I was with someone I really liked. I guess I'll have to wait even though that might keep me out of the chance to be with her, but its only fair. I just hope that her and her b/f break up . I'll get closer and closer to her so by the time she does break up, maybe I'll have a better chance .It'll give me a chance to get to know her and vise versa. I mean, I want her because I might be in love not just to go out with her. I'm not ganna do a dirty thing , such as stealing, just to go with her. It's not morally right. If she's happy, let her be happy. Oh and bexcellant, thx for replying so much, I've heard you're view point, anyone wanna add something? for anyone who cares: Today I saw her b/f kissing her RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME (He acually gave her a quick peck on the lips) and it hurt like hell and I'm guessing she thinks of me a as her friend still, maybe best friend ...*sigh*...
  10. Ray18321
    Well, puffydaddycurl, I'm no expert so I may wrong here, but I'm 99% sure it's right. Listen to your heart, man. You should deal with your ex first before moving on or you'll have her in the way of you're new relationships. So, work things out with her by talking to her and see if you can sense wether she does still love you. If you're not sure, I guess you'll have to figure out how to find out. Good luck!
  11. Ray18321
    Thanx for replying so much, I appreciate the help. If I get close to her, I think her b/f will get pissed or she will feel weird. And I told you, I'm REALLY shy just talking to her, not mentioning touching her arm or back. I may have only known her a month but i think about her everyday and I'm always depressed cause I miss her after I don't see her. I guess I'll have to remain friends and see where it takes me and then see if I can tell her about my feelings in a few months. I dunno if I can survive that long w/o her, but I'll die trying.
  12. Ray18321
    Okay, so I should tell her than, but how? And when? I'm really shy and I'm always nervous around her. I couldn't even imagine telling her. If I tell her person-to-person, It'd be awkward . If I tell her online, it may be easier but a lot less emotions traveling back and forth. I know I over-analyze and over-think things, but this is an important issue that could turn out painful. One more thing, what if me and her start to date and she breaks up with her b/f...what if the b/f wants revenge or something? Thanks for the replies guys. I just need help in these two last parts. Please reply.
  13. Ray18321
    You want me to tell her how I feel? What if she's meant to be with her current b/f, I could screw things up with them and ruin all 3 of our lives at once. Are you guys sure I should tell her? If so, how should I tell her? I couldn't just walk up to her and tell her this or just say "Hey I l love you!" or something. Is there anyway to tell her smoothly? What do you guys think would be the BEST time (online chat, e-mail, in person)? Thanks in advance.
  14. Ray18321
    Okay, I'm pretty sure she has a b/f, but theres more... I think I'm falling in love with her. We have lots of similiarities and interesting differences but there seems to be an awkward tension (Maybe its just me that feels it). It's probably it's just my or maybe it's because we like each other (I'm not sure if she likes me as a friend or what) . I haven't known her that long (About a month), but I know things about her from her website and when I read her personal essay. Recently, her friend died and she usually seems to be depressed about life and school and stuff. And I'm depressed I haven't told her how I felt cause she's already involved...I'm REALLY shy around herbut I'm pretty sure she doesn't know I like her more than as a friend. I don't know if it matters, but we have only talked online and we usually hang out at college. So my questions are... What should I do? Go on being friends until she breaks up with her b/f? What if she never breaks up with him and I still like her? How can I break the ice a little bit? PLEASE HELP
  15. Ray18321
    Please, anyone have anything to add? I could really use any comments. Thanks.
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