redsuede
-
Posts
263 -
Joined
-
Days Won
2
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Articles
Videos
Blogs
Store
Everything posted by redsuede
-
Wow.. DId you write that?
-
Side note: Red colored glasses are never OK.. live in reality.. not through shades!!
-
Uh.. Yah they do work. I found my other half on one of those sites. I dont know why you would say never, when there are so many people even here that say that they have met their soul mate online! It can happen.
-
Dumper feels being powerful. Dumpee feels like you have saturated your soul in hell. Dumpee IMO gets the most work done.
-
A woman will be more accepting of that, I truly think, although I dont think you need to worry about it. Some words of advice first though, when you meet someone new, make sure you develop a bit of a relationship with the girl before doing too much integration. Yes, the kids sake but also, for the sake of your relationship. A relationship needs a bit of time first to develop before other things get involved. You will be fine! good luck!
-
As far as your question about single parents... well, I think that is a very common thing these days. Most people are single parents, or have kids. They both have it tough.. No one wants anyone to come along in their life and treat their kids differently than they would. Its test time for the guy, which is never fun either.. Its hard on both ends I read your question completely wrong.. Disregard the rose colored glasses comment.. Sorry...
-
Rose colored glasses is a term used to describe someone who romantisizes a relationshiop. You see only good, and put the bad out of veiw. You see the relationship in a totally different light than what it really is.
-
The one that has it the worst is the one still wearing the Rose Colored Glasses.
-
This is exactly how it should feel for now. I really want you to keep in mind that the more that you "sit" through those feelings and allow it to pass, you will soon notice that they start coming less and less. During these times, it is very important that you monitor your thoughts during these fragile times. Remember.. WHAT YOU THINK IS WHAT YOU FEEL!! Please keep us posted!!
-
Post your progress too!!
-
Houdini.. Big hugs to you. What you are going through truly is heartbreaking. Please keep us updated on how you are doing. You sound like even though you are going through hell, you have your head in the right place. You are right. Life is unfair. I dont have any magical words of wisdom.. I only can offer you empathy. **fellow prison mate**
-
Just 5 words for you... YOU FEEL WHAT YOU THINK!!! You need to try to refocus on your thoughts. This is seriously taking too huge of a toll on you. We are all here for you, but no one can do it for you. You have no control of this situation, just like the rest of the world has no control over what anyone else does or doesnt do. What you can do however, is taking control of your own thoughts. Try really hard to see that life is not only about this girl. You have your whole life ahead of you, and your life is not over. I know how much it can feel this way. Pull yourself up, and be good to yourself. I promise you, it will be OK. We are all here for you. Make sure you are eating, sleeping, and I highly recommend staying away from drugs and alcohol completely at this time. Take this time to heal and figure out why you need her so much in your life.
-
You are young, and probably feel like you need to live a bit before settling down.. By knowing this though, I think you owe it to her to be completely honest with her as its not fair, then you two can decide together what is best.
-
when the person who dumped you was the one at fault
redsuede replied to sunday13's topic in Breaking Up Advice
Im so glad to see that you wrote "I dont know what good that would be" in context to contacting him. That is the bottom line with contact. Would it do any good. Most of the time NO. It might make you feel things you have laid to rest. I can tell you that nothing sucks more than putting so much in a relationship, doing most of the work just to have them break up with you, ... So, for that... My deepest empathy to you.. I am sorry you are going through this. -
Okay, so from what I understand, he is in another relationship. That always makes it feel 10 times worse. Please understand that all of these things that you are seeing, and that are happening, do NOT come someone who you really want in your life. You are worth something, and its not what you are going through. I know you are confused and hurting. I know that its very hard to go through this, but just stay strong and ONLY focus on you. Dont get in the trap of thinking "I wonder what he is thinking" or "I wonder if he misses me when he saw me" things like that. Only think of how you are feeilng. If you find certain situations are making you feel more anxious, please try hard to avoid those situations in the future. Concentrating on how you feel is a major key to healing.. It gets better, I promise.
-
Im with you guys through the weekend too!! Also, pearlylove.. I KNOW YOU CAN SUCCEED!!! you guys are amazing!!
-
WOO HOO! I promise you.. Do the work and you will soon know that you are giving yourself the best gift! Good for you catren.
-
Dark Pumpkin.. I admire your strength !!!! thanks for joining me.. Anyone else with us?
-
people operate in strange and mysterious ways, as does life. I am so sorry you are going through this. You cannot control this even if you desperately try. Sometimes trying makes you feel worse off and lonlier, and the situation useless. Take her word at face value. Its admirable how much you have given to this relationship. See what happens by surrendering to what is. Again, I am so sorry you are going through this.. We are all here for you.
-
You are already hurting. You will be hurting even more if you tried to stay his friend. You havent reached "survival mode" yet. The only way out of pain in your situation is to break all contact.. Take care
-
What if there were NO analyzing today? Could you commit to that? If the thought of your X or why or when or how cropt up in your mind, Would you be strong enough to dismiss it just for today? Even further, Let the universe give you your life for what it is. This is lifes way of saying that you belong somewhere else. Do you have the strength to let life give you your life instead of YOU trying to go against the grain of something that is NOT working. Can you give yourself something good today? Maybe a hot fudge sundae and watch tv? Can you give some of that energy that you are excessively using of ANALYZING on the ex to someone else who really deserves it? Who will join me?
-
Thank you very much This is Horrible... That is really cool of you to say..
-
-
Im really glad that it was a help for some. I learned the hard way that those glasses were now showing me reality. Its true, LOVE IS BLIND. I promise, it feels so much better to have self respect and KNOW that you are worth something, and if your EX doesnt seem to think that, well then they dont deserve YOU.
-
I just wanted to tell everyone that after so many months of LC and doing so much to heal and get past my last relationship, I really honestly wanted to tell you guys what I think really helped me. Its those red colored glasses.. Take them off now. I mean think about it. One thing that really helped me do this was taking a look at this board, seeing how many people are in the same boat as I. Reading through posts that make me feel so empathetic towards all of you, and it made me re-analyze my situation. I thought that what we (my ex and I) shared was special and it would be a matter of time and things would work themselves out. Once I started taking those glasses off, I can now see that we shared a lot, but I was seeing things in such a different light. I wanted so badly for all of my hard work of trying to keep us together to pay off. I loved her so much, but now I am glad we are apart. Those red colored glasses was the absolute thing to keep me stuck. If I hang on no matter what, eventually it will be OK. No contact will help you want to take those glasses off, because you are in so much pain, that you finally want to just get feeling better and you get so tired of doing all the self talk of "I can get through this" or "I am going to have a good day today". Until you actually feel the pain and realize reality, you will be stuck. And there is no time limit on being stuck. I have known people who have been stuck a decade, YES a decade. I knew I didnt want that for myself. If you give yourself half the love and attention that we are all pouring in to our every thought about our ex, and start seeing what is best for us, then you will find that you eventually will start to feel better and there is a better life out there for us. Dont give in to romantisizing the relationship. One question that really got to me is ... Is it just me who is thinking about this breakup 24/7? Or is my ex anazlying my every word. The painful answer for me was NO. She was out finding her new life and leaving ours behind. If someone breaks up with you, that is where they want to be as well. I want to be with someone who can cherish what we have too. Take those red colored glasses off now.. They are holding you back. If you dont change you wont be anywhere but where you are right now. I believe in everyone who is going through this. Find you.. Not them.
