This is Horrible

day one was the worst day of my life. atleast now i am at the point where i just hate her and i hope every bad thing in the world happens to her LOL.

i think if i sent her an email telling her what i thought i would get arrested LOL. the anger has been so high the last few days, but wanting to contact her is getting less and less.

I have the same sentiments as you.

i deleted all the saved emails, IM conversations and pics the day she dropped the hammer. the longer you hang onto that stuff the longer it takes to get over it. i know it is good that i deleted them right away, but i find myself wishing i had those things still...i guess i just really like torturing myself.

the thought of how she was talking about spending the rest of our lives together one day then dropping the hammer a few days later is ripping me apart inside. why would someone say something like that if they didnt mean it?

i was fine all weeked plus yesterday for the most part, but today i am really struggling. i will not break NC- which also means i wont look at her myspace, facebook or aim profile, but i am dying here i just wanna leave work and scream this is driving me so crazy. i cant call any friends because i cant talk on the phone at work and i feel like i am losing my minddddddddddd uggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i agree with this. i have been back in the gym on a strict regimine doing about 90 minutes of cardio a day and i feel great. additionally, the money i would have spent on dinners, gas and toll to see her and other girlfriend expenses goes to stuff I want!!!! the best thing you can do i can do is be successful, so if and when i run into her down the road she will always be the one to question why she ended things!

it hit me immediately ater she dropped the bomb on me and my life went into total chaos for about a week. after the week i went to NC and it still hurt like hell but i stuck to it. i broke NC about a month after the last contact and asked her for a reconciliation and she said NO. there is stuff going on with me now and she does not want to be there for me, so i guess it is easier now for me to say if she isnt going to be there for me in a tough time then she isnt worth the space she is renting in my head. i keep telling myself "why do i want to be with someone like that?????"...and although i do have tough days sometimes, i am getting better and my improvement has come along so much. btw, this website has saved me and really helped me get my life back. thanks to all the posters on here who come and share their experiences for us.

i seriously believe what you wrote above. when i came here i felt like i was experiencing the most traumatic thing ever....but i found that pretty much everyone here is going through or has gone through the same thing as me. the advice on here has really helped me a lot. still not healed yet, not even close to it, but i am coming along much better than i would have ever if i didnt find this site. the experience strength and hope this site has to offer really is priceless.

Kate111 you need to try to let it go. i have been trying. i still have my bad days (like this weekend) but it has gotten better over the last 7 weeks. try to keep busy (as hard as that is) and you will see that time heals. its tough, but just keep telling yourself "YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS"-- because you ARE going to get through this.

this one hurts because i really did try hard to be the best bf i can and now it feels like i am just being kicked in the balls continuously. if i didnt put the effort in, then i really wouldnt care, but a lot of time, effort and money were put in by me and now i feel like i wasted 19 months of my life, plus however long it takes me to get over this dumping, so it should surpass two years of my life wasted. you're right, Kate111- Life Is Cruel!

they recover quicker. the hardest part for them is doing the actual dumping. after that its relief. my ex told me she is sorry she cant be there for me now because i am going through stuff, but she feels its the right thing and thats it. they dump you because they dont love you anymore and dont want to be with you. thats the harsh reality. i have been struggling a lot this weekend too. i found pics of my ex on webshots that were taken after we split and she was having a great time while i sit here being miserable. sucks, but thats the way it is.

i literally have no time to think about her when i wake up. i hop right into the shower get ready and go to work and i keep busy the whole day until about 10 o clock when i get home then it all hits me. i say that i am fine, but the fact that this still gets me so much proves i am not fine and must do NC until I am fine. the other thing that i dont get is that i know we werent great together. we had disagreements a lot and i tried to break up with her 8 times but always took her back....i guess it rips me up that i put a lot of effort into the relationship (as did she) and i have nothing to show for it. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

i have been doing really well....spirit has been up, ive been eating right, sleeping well, exercising...in general just keeping busy. i was fine all day today, then tonight it all just hit me and i almost contacted her a few times begging for her back and all that good stuff. i have been doing so much better and have improved so much since the breakup 6 weeks ago, but i have these stretches that last for a few hours that are agonizingly difficult to deal with....and they always come at night when noone is around. it just sucks to be in this situation, especially on valentines day, but i would like to thank every member of enotalone for all of their help thus far in my journey. all of your stories of experience, strength and hope have really helped me at the worst times in this terrible ordeal we are all facing. i guess this is better posted here than in an email to the ex begging her, which i know i would regret doing.

i know it is hard, but this website is the right place for you to be. be strong the first few days. i promise you it will get better.

be grateful he did it. it may hurt now, but would you want to be with someone who is approaching 70 in 25 years and you are still in your low 50's at that point? i am sure there is someone out there closer to your age that will make you so much happier and treat you so much nicer!!!

because i am seeing improvement in myself everyday! also, i do not have to drive into the city to get dinner tonight and NYC is having a pretty nasty snow storm!

this is really funny i am laughing my behind off right now lol.

i am an alcoholic and take it from me- alcohol does not solve the problem at all. if anything it will make it worse. my ex dumped me 43 days ago and i relapsed at that point and i used drinking as a way to medicate myself from life on life's terms. thank God i stopped drinking and the relapse only lasted a week, but the alcohol made my situation a lot worse, and it also made me do things i regret doing now so badly- like threatening to kill myself and begging her time and time again that i want her back. i still hope that one day she and i can reconcile, but speaking realistically, i feel that will never happen, and i have messaged people here and they agree with that. the way i look at it is this: God did this to me to give me a wake up call. My ex was not supportive of me stopping drinking and i wasnt working the AA program thoroughly because i just wanted to please her. as i tried to "please her" our relationship went down the drain right before my eyes. now i am back in AA and doing everything i am supposed to do in the program and i am taking everything one day at a time. and since i have been back in AA i have realized this: that life goes on. A few weeks ago I couldnt imagine life without my ex, but now, one day at a time, life is getting easier and easier. dont get me wrong, there are tough times, but you learn to get through them, and i really think when this is all set and done i will be better off than i ever was in my life because great pain suffered can be reallt rewarding if you try to make positives out of it. sorry for rambling on here. my best advice would be not to drink too much and just deal with the situation one day at a time, and before you know it, life will be so much better.

consider joinig a different gym if that is possible.

go to the gym. you keep busy and exercise is good for the mind and body. additionally, it boosts your self estee, and get you back in shape and looking your best for when you are dating again. read a self help book or read this website. this website has helped me so much in the last six weeks i cant say enough about it. whatever you do dont check your ex's myspace, facebook and other websites profiles...it will just agonize you more. also, when i am in bed trying to sleep, i pray instead of thinking about the ex.

its not dumb. i remember when i was 16 how much it hurt me when my gf of 2 freakin weeks dumped me. it hurts and is difficult, no matter how young you are. it will always hurt in the end, unless the ending is a happy one.

this is my rant for the day and also a post so i do not break NC, because this has been on my mind for the last few hours. the one thing i regret from everything- the relationship, the breakup and the aftermath of the breakup is how i acted like the biggest imbecile in the history of the world after i found out she was giving me the axe. i told her i was going to kill myself...she said she couldnt breathe when i told her this and that she has never felt that way in her life. and also begging for her to take me back. why the hell wasnt "NO" the first time enough for me? it's like i love being tortured and just kept going back for more! what the hell is wrong with me????? i guess better posted here than in an email to her apologizing for what i did.

i am not ready to date yet, but at some point, hopefully sooner rather than later, i will be dating again. dating will give you some hope that there are others out there and give you further insurance that life does go on without your ex. i do not advise you to jump into dating 2 weeks after a breakup, but when you accept that your old relationship is over and are ready to meet new people then you shouldnt hold back because life is way too short to let someone who doesnt wanna be with you dictate what happens in your life.