chocos

i still love my ex very much.. think of him all the time. its so painful. I wish i could just love my memory today, so that i can just forget him. I really wish i could. But it is so lame.. and yet i feel so hurtful and painful. He cheated on me, and i am still willing to forgive him...

Well, what ca i say... He is back for a short holiday. He called me in the morning and asked to meet me. He cheated on me. But he did not call to apologize. He called and asked if i would like to meet up one last time He said he was never really happy with the relationship. In actual fact he was keeping me in limbo whilst he was seeing someone else. He said he was never really happy. Now, should i meet up with him? Please reply asap.. thanks.... my thread was this: I have been together with my bf for coming to 3 years now. This is both our first relationship. For the first 2 years of the relationship, we lived and met almost everyday in the hostel. envisioned our future together and beyond. Right now, he is still studying there while i have graduated and returned home. He would be due to come home by the end of the year... we are both of the same nationality but met each other there while pursuing our studies(ie: long distance relationship for 1 year) we had planned to try to travel to see one another at least half a year. I could not do so as my parents are rather strict with me. About 2 months later after i met him over where he was, things have changed. These problems have always been lingering but took a turn for the worse when we are both in our first relationship and worse still long distance relationship. I took my insecurities out on him, and we argued a lot over the phone. I drove him away with nagging and he said he no longer enjoyed calling me and found it hard to confide in me. He was always busy with work and his activities, but i didn't understand why he couldn't even make the time to spend time talking on the phone to me. He could spend the whole afternoon watching tv and when he called me usually at night, would say that he needed to do his work as he didn't do so the whole day. A couple weeks ago, we had an argument and out of anger I said we should break up. He was upset and said he was disappointed. He said he was confused if i was the one for him. he didn't seem to know anything he wanted. I called him to see if we could sort things out and he answered with a very distant voice like I was an aquaintance. This made me extremely depressed. I asked him if he still loved me and if he wanted to work things out and that things would be much better if we lived near each other again. He said he needed to think about it and told me to give him a time out for 2 weeks. I told him that i really wanted to work things out. I tried everything I could think of to please him everytime. Tried to find enjoyment in his activities so that we could have something to share about and tried to find out what made him happy. And for him to want to do things for me was like a chore to him. Even in the beginning of our relationship. He has changed in some ways along the years and i really appreciated it. Now, he tells me that he finds it difficult to confide in me, as i usually become unreasonable due to my insecurities. Now he says that he does not see our future anymore. But he did make a break over the phone. I guess he is now just returning to make things clear face to face. I really want this guy back....

well.. ask him unless you want to dance in limbo. Well, for my case, i found that he was seeing someone else.

Haha... yep.. he asked me for a time out. And being immatured and a coward, it was because he had found someone else!! haha.. what a big lie i feel.. Claims that this new gal is neither a rebound nor a crush.. how real.

well.. same situation... haiz.. what can i say.. i can perfectly understand what you are going through.. especially when you have given it a 101%. Isn't it such a disappointment? that someone whom you have trusted in so much, gave up so much for could do something this horrible? PM me, if you feel like talking... i'll be there to listen

Well... do make sure you check on her.. i can relate to how the gal is feeling because i feel like her. He left me without giving any reason but i did find out it was another gal. Well well. Be a gentleman. Check on her and remember to break up with grace. Tell her she is a great gal and tell her what you love about her. Tell her she is worthy.. I think this is the best you can do. You need to help her to get over you. Especially when she has probably put in a 101% her whole heart and her whole soul into the relationship

Just a question... will a guy reappear again? after he broke the relationship by being guilty or i would say unfaithful?

And another thing. He didn't tell me why he broke up with me because he felt guilty. Why? He was seeing someone else overseas. Well done!! I really feel betrayed and disappointed

Well... could i ask if this happened to a girl instead what should she do? Just a thought though

Another thing.. have you told her how you felt in the process? If not, you are not being fair to her. Whenever, you are unhappy, you should probably bring it up to her or else she would not know anything. Honesty is the key factor in a good relationship. So you should tell her how you really feel than just telling her you want to call it quits. Take care and i do hope you make the right decision. Don't just run away from things that are not going your way. Turn it around to make it the best for the both of you. Remember that it would not be hard on yourself, but you must also spare a thought for her.. it wouldn't be easy on her part as well

Well, then again, could i ask you how do you know if anyone is 100% compatible may i know?? To me, unless, you have not been faithful, you wouldn't have done that

well, he has called. he promised to wait till he comes back, but he chose to listen to his friends who told him to get things over and be done with. He broke up with me. And did not bother to explain anything, but to hide. I tried messaging him telling him how much he meant to me and that i missed him Well well.. i guess, he is determined. and as usual, i can't let go.. till now, i am still clinging on. Well well.... Please help...

then again, just a thought. If you are going in and out of relationships for the experience, wouldn't it be like shopping in a supermarket for "the one"?? Is it right?

well... she might be feeling insecure. whatever you do, do spare a thought for her feelings.

thanks for the advice.. i think so too, i have not called him since. it was difficult, but my friends were there to help me. so now, i am definitely much better. i am 23 and he is 27

well well, this could mean 3 things 1) she is not interested as is saying the truth 2) if she is treating it like a mind game then she wants you to show how much you love her to win her 'love' back so that she feels more secure and how important she is to you. 3) same as the previous posts Hope this helps. probably you could ask her what she means by a time out and probably ask her if she wanted you to wait on for her decision. Set yourself a deadline when you are willing to wait until. Meantime, look around and probably you would find someone much better

Give it a try.... that would be the best bet No doubt that you have been unhappy, but i am sure you had your fair share of happy times as well, why keep looking at the bad times? And another thing. what are you looking for in a girl that you would say 'she's the one' ? Technically, how do you look for someone like that? I am a person that believes in working things out especially when the relationship has progressed this far. Do think about things carefully and try to think of a win-win situation. You could probably tell her how you feel as honesty in the relationship is very important and many people neglect it. Miscommunication. She probably thinks that you are happy in the relationship as you have never told her. You should probably have a serious talk with her, lay out what you are unhappy about, and try to come to a compromise. And please, don't tell her that you think 'she's not the one'. All the best!! ~~~chocos

Actually i do agree with you. He did tell me he wants to work things out face to face in another 3 weeks, so technically, he wants me to wait out another time. Hmmmm... that sounds interesting but i am getting a little tired. He wants me to wait, but if i can't wait to move along... sooooo.....

I know that i should call him... but do you think i should just wait for the 2 weeks? should i just tell myself that it is over? Should i just continue to wait for him to accept me again? I really don't knoe... I just feel that my life is in a big mess

Will he still have feelings for me if this is left alone for 2 weeks? I really don't know and am scared to lose him. I really want to know... All i do is to cry

I have been together with my bf for coming to 3 years now. This is both our first relationship. For the first 2 years of the relationship, we lived and met almost everyday in the hostel. envisioned our future together and beyond. Right now, he is still studying there while i have graduated and returned home. He would be due to come home by the end of the year... we are both of the same nationality but met each other there while pursuing our studies(ie: long distance relationship for 1 year) we had planned to try to travel to see one another at least half a year. I could not do so as my parents are rather strict with me. About 2 months later after i met him over where he was, things have changed. These problems have always been lingering but took a turn for the worse when we are both in our first relationship and worse still long distance relationship. I took my insecurities out on him, and we argued a lot over the phone. I drove him away with nagging and he said he no longer enjoyed calling me and found it hard to confide in me. He was always busy with work and his activities, but i didn't understand why he couldn't even make the time to spend time talking on the phone to me. He could spend the whole afternoon watching tv and when he called me usually at night, would say that he needed to do his work as he didn't do so the whole day. A couple weeks ago, we had an argument and out of anger I said we should break up. He was upset and said he was disappointed. He said he was confused if i was the one for him. he didn't seem to know anything he wanted. I called him to see if we could sort things out and he answered with a very distant voice like I was an aquaintance. This made me extremely depressed. I asked him if he still loved me and if he wanted to work things out and that things would be much better if we lived near each other again. He said he needed to think about it and told me to give him a time out for 2 weeks. I told him that i really wanted to work things out. I tried everything I could think of to please him everytime. Tried to find enjoyment in his activities so that we could have something to share about and tried to find out what made him happy. And for him to want to do things for me was like a chore to him. Even in the beginning of our relationship. He has changed in some ways along the years and i really appreciated it. Now, he tells me that he finds it difficult to confide in me, as i usually become unreasonable due to my insecurities. Now he says that he does not see our future anymore. Please tell me what to do.. i really miss him a lot during this time.. we have not spoken for 5 days. Another 9 days more before the 2 weeks is up. What does he really want? is it his way of saying goodbye? Or is he just trying on a reverse psychology to make me do what he wants me to? Will he call after the 2 weeks as promised? He called me the other day but did not say a single word. i could hear the country's news at the background, so i knew it was him. But i placed the phone down. I was scared to talk to him as the last time he said he wanted a time out and didn't want me to call, icq or to text message him. When i did so, he was irritated, agitated and just slammed down the phone on me or would just brush me off by saying i got work to do *slam phone* or just *go offline* or just *not reply the text messages* But yet he told me that he loved me and cared for me and that if we were not meant for each other, he didn't want to waste my time as i was still young. I do hope that he is still thinking of me.. he still called me "dear" the last time we icqed and still called me "dear" before the 5 days. Does he still love me? is there anything i can do to salvage the relationship. I really care and love alot for this guy and really want things to work out between us. Is it that "absense makes the heart grow fonder?" or would it just be "out of sight is out of mind?" Please advice. I really don't know what to do

don't worry, i think it would not be too late.. Just let it take some time.. Like the saying goes " time will heal all wounds"

nope.... it is 1 more week before the 2 weeks he said.... i am really missing him... have not called him for 5 days...not a single contact

hmmmm.. this really sounds like me... and i thought i was the only one out here... he was also fed up when i took my insecurities out on him and he said he needed some space. i do agree that actions speak louder than words, but he is really bad at this. He doesn't listen to what i say and i kept telling him not to say "sorry" because actions speak louder than words. And now he says that i meant that i was never happy with whatever he is doing. or whatever he has done for me because he says that it is never enough... We have not spoken for 4 days and i miss him alot.... but he told me he was confused, needed a time out and would talk about it again in 2 weeks

and can i ask... if a guy behaves like this, what does it mean? he is not seeing anyone... but behaves like this.. we have been together for 3 years and right now, for the past 2 months, we were having a long distance relationship. Could he be stressed? I dunnoo... i really want to have a guy's insight.. He says he wants some time out from the relationship. Could he be suffocating? could this be resolved? He said he was confused about everything.. and told me to give him 2 weeks. But it was like a break as i couldn't call him. When i called, i had some attitude from him and he keeps wanting to put down the phone... What does this guy want?