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chocos

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Everything posted by chocos

  1. chocos
    I totally agree with princess... and i guess i healed pretty fast for a past relationship that scarred me pretty badly... sometimes, we can be in self denial but i guess we all need to just spend that quiet solitary moment to step back and think again...
  2. chocos
    well.... time for an update... as far as i can remember.... we are not friends... he said he was too guilty to be friends... well i do dream of him sometimes... but i am glad that the worst is over... i miss him, i think about him.. but it isn't that hurting like before.. in fact, never really hurt now anymore.. But... ya, still tear when i talk about him.. still tear and long for him... and yes... i am glad that i took the time off to mourn... but somehow or rather.. can't seem to accept anyone else in my life still...
  3. chocos
    Just a question, if it is because of a third party what happens?
  4. chocos
    Just another thing... do you have feelings for this person? afterall, having sex with someone is not a game for some. Sometimes, it just gives you an emotional attachment that you cannot get rid of. But i do agree that you should talk to him about it. But i do know how difficult it can get.. Wishing you all the best. Take care and pm me if you need to talk
  5. chocos
    Yes sher, i agree with you.. what comes around goes around. He has been rather mean to do that to someone he said he loved Just a question to people out there... how do you know when he really means it when he says he loves you?
  6. chocos
    well, for me, he told me he needed a break (time out) and then ceased all communication. My bet would be not to contact him at all. Why? because by him avoiding all your calls and messages etc, clearly shows that he doesn't want to talk, and even if you message or call him 100 times, he wouldn't bother. In fact, he might just feel so irritated that it might just as well push him further and further away from you. I did that and somehow i pushed him away. So i have learnt and am sharing it with you. Give him the space he needs now. Let him take a breather and space to think things through if he wants to. Let him be. When he is ready, he will call you or contact you. But do remember, do not be too optimistic. Just occupy with friends and things so that you wouldn't call him. PM me if you want to talk.. okie? take care
  7. chocos
    he loved her. He said he didn't as a defense. That is what most people say. "Oh well, i left that relationship because i wasn't really happy and i didn't really love her" - this sounds all too familiar. I really don't know if it is immaturity or something else. But i really do hope that adeius, you would learn to know what it takes to be alone sometimes. Find out yourself what you really want and not take the influence of others. Find out what is it that makes you go round.
  8. chocos
    You know, sabena, the exact same thing happened to me a month ago. the exact same thing. And i really wondered how it was like to really love someone when all you want for that person is happiness, even if you are not part of it. He did the exact same thing to me, and soon after called it off. I was devastated. Until i found out that he had found someone else. And that girl had actually encouraged him to leave me. I really wondered how he could abandon everything. Like you, we had some quarrels, and i guess he just didn't let go. He still bore the grudges in him, even though he could still look at me and tell me he loved me. Well.. it still hurts and i know how hurtful it can be. I admire you for your courage of letting go, letting him have his space to think and bear the hurt of the fear of losing him all by yourself. I feel so silly, i wish him all the best with that girl. and i would stand there forever, if forever's what it takes because he was my forever and forever always waits. I still love him, i know he would never turn back, i wish him all the best and nothing else more.
  9. chocos
    PM means to private message him And no, i have not read the book before.
  10. chocos
    yes it is normal. me too. I love him still after a month he cheated on me and broke up with me.
  11. chocos
    Hi afterd I support in your decision to not let go. But you must understand that the final and ultimate decision of going through all these is hers. Whether you have another chance or not, really depends on her now. I admire your courage to admit that you were wrong to leave her. I really do. The most important thing in life is to be able to see your mistakes and learn from them. I wish you the best and do keep us posted!!!
  12. chocos
    Just a guess, You didn't buy any ring for your ex of 3 years because you took her for granted. You didn't buy her one because you thought that she would always be there for you You didn't really love her though you told her you did, just so that you could cheat her into having sex with you, with no strings attached. Maybe not in such a bad light, but you did so because you were not sure. even so, after a week or so you were so sure about the new girl. Worse still, you were just using her as a training ground and making use of her for 3 years. Just a guess...
  13. chocos
    I know what you mean. I know that people have been telling me... But i don't know why deep within me, i don't hate him. I wish i could, but i can't. I still love him and still care for him. Must be very silly of me, but i really don't know why.
  14. chocos
    Hi... Honestly speaking, it is a traumatic experience to share some most intimate moments with someone so trusted. and when she got pregnant, you ran away when she needed you most. What can i say? It is already a traumatic experience to share intimate moments with someone you loved with your heart and soul and only to realise with that person telling you that he was never happy and did not love you in the first place. Let alone, you running away. I am sorry, but i really cannot see the point. If you really think she is the one, these are the things that you really have to put up with. Not because she has become like that, but because the heartache you caused her made her to be like that. She wanted a beautiful future with you, but you just ran away. The trauma of that and the trauma of the heartache and pain can never be described. It can heal, but it would never be the same. It can forgive, but it would never forget.
  15. chocos
    Yes, i am exactly like you. I wondered, but i didn't do it. He left me, for some other chick who told him that he wouldn't be happy with me. I still love him and care for him. But i do it from a distance. I do it through people i know who would not betray my trust. I am letting go and recovering, but i would never be the same person again
  16. chocos
    Do not tell her that she is not the one... because that would break her heart. Instead, i would suggest would be to think for yourself, if you picture her in your future, or do you see a future with her together. If you do, Make it work. If you don't, leave her. Better now than later when she has invested more in the relationship with her heart and soul...
  17. chocos
    I do understand how it is to sleep with someone you really loved and poured out your heart and soul and to be treated like dirt later, despite the many promises and reassurances. I do understand. Please do not continue calling, it would only hurt yourself even more. Do not give him the joy and saatisfaction that he has destroyed another life of a girl. I know it hurts and it is difficult.... I really understand
  18. chocos
    well, afterd I think it boils down to the question if you think this person is worth you putting everything on hold with the hope of she coming back. Do you think she is worth it? Do you think she will not do it again? will the feelings still be the same? can you trust her again? Can you depend on her again? I am not too sure about %s, but may i ask why you guys split up in the first place? I really wonder if the %s thingy will do any help with it. I had been with my now ex for 3 years and for the last 6 mths, been long distance. But he found someone else. So we broke up. He didn't admit the other girl's presense though, just said he was tired. I really don't know if i should wait too. Why has his feelings turned so fast for a relationship of 3 years? Should i wait? he is not the perfect guy, but till now i am waiting. Silly isn't it. I should really learn to let go.
  19. chocos
    Could i ask you what the significance of the rings are? Are you saying that you probably didn't love a girl of 3 years who has given you everything, that she probably didn't deserve a ring to show her worth. But instead, this new gal deserved it. Knowing for a fact that she was the one who supported you in your breakup?
  20. chocos
    hi notherenowhere Well, people are subjective. Some people think that the "grass is greener on the other side". And people do not learn that until they have lost something valuable. People learn from experience. However, when it comes to relationships, people do not want to admit that they have lost something very valuable, even though, after a while, they realise it. All these are part and parcel of human beings. They are never contented, they never feel that it is enough. Why? I don't know. I want to know, but all i can do is to wait. Maybe i wasn't the perfect person i thought i was, maybe we were just not meant to be, maybe that other person was an even more perfect and flawless person, maybe......
  21. chocos
    Well, my only advice is not to find the love in the arms of another woman so quick. Personally, honestly, all i can say is that i am like her. We are so insecure beings. I am sorry, but i must honestly admit that i am exactly like this. I think you can call this an 'abusive' relationship because it is one that you cannot open up your feelings to the other comfortably. It took my boyfriend of 3 years who left me for me to realise that this was my problem. And he never told me. Even after the break up. I realised this myself. I want to turn time back. I want to be how i am now, more matured, more sensible. I want him back. and it hurts me to know that he is seeing someone else immediately after our break up, and i mean immediately. I suggest you have a heart to heart talk and tell her how suffocated you are. Honesty is the way to go. Pick somewhere public where she probably would not raise her voice or kick up a big fuss. and tell her that you are drained. Tell her you want to work things out but feel so constrained. Tell her you want someone to grow with. See what she says. All the best and keep us posted!!
  22. chocos
    Well, all i can say is that i agree with kittykat to a certain extent. Was the unhappiness you felt justified to be fair to call off a relationship which has taken off and have soared through the years? There must have been a special bond between that you both have probably shared. You must understand that not all friends give valuable advice. If you must, ask friends who have stable and experienced reelationships and matured enough to think things on both sides of the picture. If you are going to consult friends that have gone through such 'chuck and stash' attitude of relationships, in which they can do it so can you kinda attitude, remember and tell yourself that you are not them. Your ex is not their ex. Try being fair and think for yourself. If this gal has given you so much. She has practically poured out her heart and soul to you. My bet is the new gal is someone whom likes you and you probably don't don't really like her, but yet giving her a chance to make things work. But what is the point? There is no proper healing in the first place and with no proper healing, you cannot enter the next relationship. I am not saying that it is certain. But i am urging you not to be too egoistic and think that you are right all the time. Do take a moment to think about this ex of yours. Do take a moment to think of the good times and think that she is worth your chance. I do not think that it is fair to close the relationship with her just like that.
  23. chocos
    Well, i can understand how you feel and my heart completely goes out. This happens usually when there is no closure in the break up. Questions after questions will keep spilling out of our heads. Did he actually love me in the first place? Did he just make empty promises to me? What did i do that made him give up on me? Why did such a thing happen? If i didn't do this, would it still have happened? Why is it so unfair to love someone so much and yet get treated this way? Who is this new gal? Why have you moved on with a blink of the eye? Were you cheating on me right from the start? even when these are answered, new ones get formed. I understand. i'm not too sure if this advice is going to help, but what a trusted friend was to tell me was to just ask whatever questions i wanted. Because you wouldn't be wanting to be like 10 years down the road and thinking to yourself that, if you had asked him those questions, would it have helped much. But then again, this is pretty objective. For me, i took my friend's opinion and confronted him. Not aggressively, but passively. Stay strong and didn't shed a tear. Hope it helps Cheers and stay strong okies?
  24. chocos
    Well, what can i say? yes, betrayal is the hardest thing to forgive. And suprisingly, i actually forgive him. I just keep worrying about him. I worry about almost everything about him. Worried if he would be well taken care of by this gal (he is rather spoilt) and worries if she would understand him and also worry if he knows how to treat her well (he is quite a crude fellow). I don't really know why i am worrying, but i really do miss him. I miss our happy moments and wonder why he can just switch things off just like a switch. I really am still not learning to let go.. and like the saying goes, "Love can be measured by the hurt you feel when you set it free"
  25. chocos
    I know... he claims that he was not on the rebound and neither was it a crush, really wonder how true that is. And he said, technically he cannot cheat on me because he only started one day after we broke up...hmm... Another thing was that the girl liked him, so he accepted her, probably without much feelings... I guess it didn't work out due to the distance factor. I know.... I know it would be difficult to get him out of my head.. i am trying... but it is just so hard, especially when you have trusted him so so so much. All the futures we envisioned together, all the promises we made to each other.
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