Belgian girl

@ scruffism, In a topic called something like 'girls where do you look for in a man' can I find that advice that helped you getting your ex back in the threads started by you? Very nice you say I can PM you, at the moment I'm quite busy for my last exams, if I find time those days I really will at least read more of your threads and maybe send a PM.

Hi there, very nice to see reactions, so I can at least see how other people think about it. I've just read in a topic the following and guess what, the first part seems perfectly to fit to his new gf and the last seems to describe me: Girls when they are young look for two things: Looks and Is he someone I can have fun with? If he is good looking and fun, then there is interest. As girls mature and become older, they start to value responsiblity, being good with money, having goals and ambition, as well as a man who will stand up for himself and be there for her. Someone who is reliable and loyal will also be seen as a virtue as women age and eventually want to start a family. @ Scruffism, is there something I could tell you that I've not written down yet? If there possible is, let me know, I like to tell about it. If it could probably give you more insight on the situation, the better. At the moment, I'm almost OK. It depends, usually in the evening that I start missing him very much again. Crying I'm doing very little. But he has hurt me several times by saying things just to hurt me I guess, so I don't really feel that I'm on his side anymore. Also because I don't like that new girl, even now I don't know her in real-life. So I can't identify myself as much with him. @ Beck24, Probably because he's taking fun of his yought or something.. I feel confused about how to think about him and my own future and if I'm willing to try another long-term relationship (already or ever). I guess I would spend more time with meeting new people with the goal of being friends and doing things with them like sport. I just want to make sure I won't make mistakes or yeah as less as possible. Think that then I'll see if I even WANT him back again in the future. Don't know if it's an 'excuse' that he's still young and wants to enjoy life.. Personally, I feel no need to be like that. The best to you as well.

for me practising sport and making sure I get enough fresh air already makes me more relaxed. perhaps watching cabaret or something could make you feel more in a humoristic mood taking healthy food and take well care of yourself could make you feel better perhaps creating an own style as well (being yourself) perhaps these are not things you expected or very well suiting to this topic but it are the things that work good for me

Think I'm almost in the same situation (have made a topic of it as well but less about my feelings). I wish you all the best. I still have all the things he once gave me standing in my room, just because it makes me feel more sad without it.. but I think that isn't an advice at all! Perhaps try improving yourself, make sure you have enough social contacts,.. I chose for keep on loving him. I think I can't stop it, I love him from deep in my heart. Maybe the following 'rule' from religion could give you a little help as well: If somebody doesn't apreciate your being or help, it's better to use your energy in helping other people or making other people happy. You'ld probably be able to help more people by doing that. I also 'trust' on that the good will survive, and I'm trying to be good as I can. About your questions like if it's part of healing I don't know for sure. All the best, you're not the only one in this situation..

This evening I saw he was logged-in at a forum he made a post in the topic of present yourself (his one) a week ago to say he feels sorry but he won't visit that forum anymore because somebody has followed him even here. (but that was not the reason I went to that forum, just because there was a link at the previous forum and a member kept convincing me because it's her forum and there were so few members) Then I found some texts on it he posted earlier with bad things about me and our relationship (most not even true), so guess because of that he 'said'(Messenger) a week ago he doesn't want me to visit the same forums as he does because it made him crazy by seeing my nickname when he's logged-in as well. Now I'm asking myself is he's interested to read what I've posted there (because this last forum HE left so I 'might' keep posting)? (hope so..) And at another forum he posted today that he wouldn't mind at all if his gf would already have sex with him (guess they only met twice)and about 1,5 month sms and MSN. I think it's so disgusting. I'm almost sure she doesn't really love him from the inside of her heart, it's just fun

Haven't fully read whole this topic and I'm short in time at the moment (lot of exams but I won't leave here before even making a few notes, hope I can talk to you after my exam 1. perhaps read the topic what makes you don't suicide (I'm not sure that's the exact name but I read some kind of topic yesterday). 2. in my situation, my uncle, they've discovered he had cancer and I guess he's terminal already. Please realise how much he and everybody cares about having the chance to live and how worried whole the family is and what a big effect it has on everybody 3. for familymembers, it's something you can't fully get over, I guess 4. I'm having panic attacks as well, but I find out I can handle it better and better, we can talk about it, if you would give me the chance 5. for me as a person, my life means a lot to me, I hope you could remember soms nice things (often the small ones) that makes you feel good 6. I know it doesn't always help to talk with psychologes etc.. Often a good friend is the best therapist. 7. Realise you're not the only one with a lot of problems, maybe even by looking at the other members 8. For me, relief/religion gives a loth of strength 9. Are you sure they aren't able to make you feel better (your family)? In my case, I've walked away once, but when they where asking me please to come back and I saw crying and how much they love me.. sometimes people just don't let it show. Why? Maybe because somebody else is hurting them and they don't want to be breakable. (Sorry if my english is not that good). 10. I would love to write down even more.. hope I might after a few hours. 11. Come on, I found a lot of strength by helping other people. It also made my panic attacks become less. Wishing you all the best, you deserve it, please let us give you advice and.. a good effort that you take the step using this forum!! It has helped me a lot, hope it may do it for you as well 12. Ah, going trough hard situations will often make somebody stronger (that's how I experienced hard things in the past) 13. Feel also free to PM me if you need a 'talk'.

For me someone's past does count quite a lot for me.. because it says something about that person. I know people can chance. But by only looking at the last few weeks or even months.. hmm quiete a lot of people are playing a role or could fake or doing their best for a while.. I think you really know somebody after at least half a year with enough contact, and not only at ideal situations! I asked about my ex past but he became sort of angry because he said I was pushing to much on something he would forget about.

Thanks for bringing it under words (not how God intended it to be, can't give a piece of soul..). Because I can't stand it if somebody is imitating me or learning from me to get a better reputation, hmm,.. as well when I was doubting to have sex yes or no, the idea that I'ld probably not the only and last one for him to have that with.. I felt bad by the idea that he will use techniques we would learn by each other etc. I felt like I wouldn't be able to fully give my self and not to want my imagination. Now (after reading your words) I feel more sure about that I didn't do it with my ex, how much I love him and although I know it's not easy to live this way in this 'modern world'. He's not believing in God by the way. I've already read another good post from you, about the bible (don't know if I write it right that it isn't contradictory. Well, what me attires at a partner is very much the personality and a own view of things and I think relief helps giving that strength and helps making the right decisions.

Sorry from me as well. I've had a lot at this forum when I felt very alone, frustrated, sad,.. hope you do as well. Also I think every day about dear people who have died and for me religion gives a lot of strength. Also as you said by helping other people (but: who 'deserve' it, in my eyes..) makes me feel better. Think you've made already very good efforts. Perhaps make sure to fill in some things in your life what make it stable enough like usual activities, same hours. And make sure to have enough social contact. I feel sorry I can't give very usefull advice for this situation because I have never been close to something like this. I wish you all the best, Susan

How do you mean he got what he deserves? Because I didn't 'gave' him seks(altough it was one of my biggest wishes to have that with him)? What I know is that he really want that, beaause I know how much he wanted it with me. But I want to be sure that he wants it because me as a person and I want him to stay.. Feel quite frustrated about the situation love that boy with whole my heart.

Oh.. from my ex's new gf people say she's hot.. already guess whole the time that he likes her body.. they were together before they really met except from the internet. They've been kissing at the first meeting,.. ugh I just want love because I love that person om who he is, not the outside or the fake. And you can't know that over such a short time. How awful.. She looks so mean to me and manipulating . To me he said I'm beautiful

I feel sorry for you. I haven't experience with something like that but I saw nobody's reacted yet and I want to wish you a lot of strength tomorrow and all the best, as well for your mother. Maybe let her feel you're there for her as much as you can. Maybe she's trying to stay stable, perhaps not to make it harder for you, I don't know. Maybe good if she find things to pay her attention to so she needn't think whole the time about it. Seems very possible for me that it needs a lot of time to heal (as far as possible). Maybe it will do her well to keep spending time with other relatives and good friends and/or people who knew him.

Yeah, that's a good advice. I would be very afraid and restless I guess if I would be in that situation. Talking would make someone feel less alone and perhaps stop worrying for a moment. I also thing it's very good to keep being stable, not getting too emotional or at least not whole the time. But staying as open as possible and do a lot of listening. Yeah, telling the things you'ld otherwise regret that you didn't say them is another important thing, thank you two so much also for the quick respond. I feel sorry for you two. I don't expect I can visit him within a few weeks/month. Still having exams and I don't go home very much and from there, they are living in the Netherlands so still quiete a distance. Asked my dad if it would be good if I send a card but he answerd (computer) that he's going to visit them one of these days and will bring over my thinking about him etc.. Reason that I was doubting about it is that before he got the results of the research, a lot of people already expected there won't be good news. But one of them told me, it could be a bad idea to directly tell him that, because there's a chance that it will make him lose hope and the will to keep trying and going on. One of those day's he will be operated for his arms (humerus). Will be kept together with an iron pin. Also doubting if I should tell my exbf about it, but he let me know he's busy with avoiding me as much as he can and I guess he could already know that there's something with one of my familymembers (forum he's visiting as well, nickname on MSN although he blocked me but his brother hasn't).. so guess I won't. He liked my uncle, they've talked a lot on a family being.

Hello there, I'm not sure if this is the best topic to place this and probably I won't get reactions, maybe I will get some like All the best etc., but I just want to write that they've discovered cancer (in his arms, other places,..) and they even needn't do surgery. Sorry, can't find all those english words to translate what I want to write down without using a dictionary (I'm in my exams now so I will expand this message a little later). I only want to ask, is there someone with advice how to go on with this situation for people like me, close family? How to go on with him For example, I'm doubting to write him a card, order and let deliver him flowers,.. because maybe it'll give him less support. Haven't spoken much to my aunt since they discovered (I usually don't just because of the distance, only family beings and telephone). Haven't seen him for months (because he didn't join those family beings anymore). This week his two arms become broken, he's in the hospital now. Every advice is welcome, how small it is. Or if someone has been in a sort of same situation. It's just a situation I guess without hope. Maybe because I can't do anything about it and guess there is nothing to do against it, that I found my way to go on with him as the only thing I could do my best on. Thanks for reading. The best to you all..

Prefer learning by unit or something, not by time (like now I'm going to learn 1,5 hour). Change making exercises and learning theoretical parts, change eventually from subject during learning.

Perhaps it also helps to listen the same music CD after each other. Found out that learning went faster. When you're learning words, I thought it works the best if you learn them in groups of about eight each time. For me, it also helps when I'm putting everything I've finished away or at one side of the table . It's also good to eat lots of fruit and to get enough fresh air. Good luck!

Thank you so much But still can't realise that it's over That moments everything went wrong seemed for me as such a little while, it's like I'm still living at the moment there wasn't any misunderstanding. I also found a text he posted on another forum about us/me. It hurts a lot if that is the truth how he interpreted (sorry if that's not good English everything. I also found out that when he was young, being angry and crying wasn't apreciated, so that might be the reason if his bad reactions that I cried so much. I did it from a feeling of love, I wasn't unhappy at all. Only afraid to lose him because I was so happy to be with him. Yeah, that's my 'plan': not to make any effort towards him, even trying not to visit the forums he's using. And praying. Praying that he will chose for the good instead of the evil, or something. He's so naïve. I really would be very happy if I ever get the chance to tell him and to do with him all the things that I still want to but not did yet. Can't understand why he's looking at my this way. What I'm trying now is to follow up the things I know from him that he didn't like, I try to do it better this time (I also agree with him in that). I try to spend more time with friends and people in general. I apreciate things way more than before. I live more with my heart. I still love him, I still have my heart open, not only for him, also to help people as far as I can. Hope he will find out that I've changed (but I do almost never see him). I also listen less to the people who were some kind of influencing me (not with the meaning to manipulate I guess). Somewhere I hope it brings me back to him. Hope that it's not yet sure like he said that he never wants me back. Will try as hard as I can to let him go doing his things and hope I will ever be good enough for him (most people tell me I'm better and much better then her). Thanks so much for giving advice..!

Ah thanks for letting me know. I was just describing my situation. Still wants that boy back. He doesn't understand me at the right way. I really dislike to see that new girl, I expected someone less mean and more friendly and can't understand why he's treating me this way. Would like it if there's something I can do to turn things in a more positive way. However, I don't mind very much to be patient. Often feeling confused if it's true what he says about me that I've done very stupid things. Love him so much

Have made myself member of that forum as well, he must have recognised me by my nickname I guess.. cause today he posted there a message that he likes that forum but somebody's making him feel bad at this place as well (cause I 'followed' him and have read his messages there.. but not placed any reaction on it, only said something about myself because I'm a new member)

I see so many people reading my topic but so less posting I already could expand the story, but I have a little time at the moment (exams).. found out he posted a story about is on a forum where he gives nothing more than critic and saying bad things and I also see things very different than that, it hurts a lot really don't like his gf, think she's mean he said (Messenger, he deblocked me for a while) he never wanted me back again somebody told me he's (little) depressive I really love him and answered him that I'ld at least never find anyone as beautiful as him (objectively he isn't very very beautiful, but cause I love him so much..) and I will continue loving him even if it hasn't any result and I'll be there for him if he has a problem with something (but he refused) .. (will tell more when I have more time Hope somebody at least will react

Really think I've done something with al the things he said to me what he didn't like or what I should do or what I didn't do...

I'ld like to tell about the situation at the moment He's together for about 1,5 month with a girl from a (gothic) forum, they met twice as far as I know. She's 17 (he 19, I 20) and they are laughing very much with each other. Don't know what to do. I know she likes to experience and enjoy life and that she has had a lot of ex bfs and ex gfs. Now he's hurting me more than before by saying things or writing on the internet. She looks very mean to me and other people I sent the picture or who know her from the Internet. But she's giving him compliments and agrees with the things he say, way more easy about things like that than I am. Same for saying love things. I almost only say anything if it really has got a meaning and I'm sure that I won't give him a disappointment even after weeks or months by saying it. Feeling heart-broken, still love him from the very very inside, guess she doesn't. Guess he enjoy's it to feel apreciated even to other people by having someone who's so enthousiastic. For me, it feels it's not fair at all. Advice very welcome..

I'm almost 20 and still a virgin. I think it's much easier to give up virginality than to wait with having real sex. I want tor save it for a very special person, like my ex. But I want him to stay with me even trough more bad times and when there are some problems.. if that doesn't count for him to make an end on it, I would give in.. wait until mariage.. don't know.. I think I will do before.. but with a person I would probably like to have a child with.. and I think I don't mind to have done that with one and the same person during whole my life..

could anyone give me advice now? I've tried a kind of NC, only during our bustrip (Friday and Sunday evening, each about 1,5 hour) we are sitting next to eachother (or somethimes he's putting his bag at the chair between us.. and he usually is listening music). (Guess what (I'm only not sure if it IS a result of NC, maybe I'm too enthousiastic/thinking about it too positive..) he talked to me while waiting for the bus, about a quarter and was asking questions (nothing spectaculair..).. So now I'm a little confused about why and how he's feeling and was talking and what I should do next (or nothing). But the trip before that one, I 'remarked' (don't know the best word directly in English ) that he wasn't listening music the first hour (like he was giving me/it a chance to talk with each other). It's only 2 weeks lessons (then about 2-3 weeks exams and then about 3 months vacation).. (so not much time left anymore ) Please, anyone with advice (or what he/she would do)?

vaginal infection (like I had)?