Lansing
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Everything posted by Lansing
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well.. it is not clear when the last time you talked to him was... Since you have already been on 2 dates with him in the last week, I imagine it wasn't too long ago since the last time you talked to him.... I don't think there is any harm in calling him or texting him... maybe he is thinking he is taking things slow by not contacting you on a regular basis....
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totally move on..... I think you started getting "Serious" and showing her that you really liked her, etc but she really had no reason to receive all that praise from you. Let women EARN your praise. Don't give it so freely. I think you started seeing the "potential" of a GF and it effected the way you acted... I don't think the issue was you having sex with her. If you had shown confidence in who you were and that you were "wanted" without having to ask for it, I don't think she would have backed off.. I think you did overanalyze it.. it is tricky not to do, but, I really, just back off completely from this one. You need to use this as a lesson learnt for the next girl. Do not try to salvage anything with this one....
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She is not interested in you... I think you should move on... In the least, back off for now and see if she might come back to you and start flirting again. It is possible she was interested before but is no longer interested. Based on what you said, I think you should focus your energies elsewhere
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What to do?! she keeps on contacting me !!!
Lansing replied to capricornprncess's topic in Dating Advice
are you a female also?? Just trying to figure it out based on your username... Regardless, I think you should forget about her... Her messing with you saying one thing and doing something else is pretty lame. Or, if you think it would help you move on, ask her why she keeps flip flopping -
A final update on this situation. She responded to my e-mail today and she seems enthuastic to meet up... I guess I was worried for nothing...
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The question about the podcast is because when people post new threads now it asks for podcast URL! (well, it did for me the other day)... I know what a podcast is, but, I found it weird that it was asked... has anyone used this feature in making a post?
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well.. I decided to send her an e-mail today... the whole "list" thing is from a while ago (not recently created list) and thus, I had almost forgotten about it myself. I think it would be weird for me to call her out of the blue because she would be wondering about how I got her number for as long as it took me to say the words.... and I think it would just give a bad first impression..... I will see how she responds to the "general" e-mail before proceeding
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I think you should drop it... She doesn't want to date you based on what you have posted.... It is obvious you aren't looking for just a "friend". I think by her response to you she is making it clear she does not want to "date" you. I think you are slightly blinded by your desire for her and want someone to tell you to keep pursuing her..... Unless you want to continue to be frustrated and annoyed, I would forget about dating her or asking her out again.
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Maybe I missed it in this post and others but, how old is she?? If she is significantly older than you, I can see why she would feel weird about it... Plus, she has a kid so maybe she has different priorities..
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Well, I haven't asked her out.... I just know that she is "Actually" busy.... I mean, if I was going through the changes with work/looking for a new place to live, etc,etc I would probably feel a bit stressed out and I probably wouldn't be looking to "date". ..... So, I guess I was just thinking that the timing is "off" and that I shouldn't ask her out.... Come to think of it, I do have her phone number because it was on a group list but, I never asked for her number to her directly so I think it would be weird for me to call her. Our previous contact was via e-mail so that is why I think I really need to ask her out via e-mail in a casual way for now.....
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So, I recently met this girl and she seems really cool... I met her while on holiday but she lives in my area. I already know that she is starting a new job in the next 2 weeks and is also moving to another city (still only about 30 minutes away). My question is, I know that there is a lot going on in her life so do I risk asking her out now and her just being too "busy"? Since she is new to the city (which is about the same distance as the other city she lived in) I am not sure how to handle the situation. I don't want to be her "tour guide" and I also don't want her to have to depend on me for company (i.e. I want her to be able to make new friends,etc). I have talked to her enough to know there is some potential there but at the same time, I kind of backed off during the holiday because it was a group setting and I was meeting all kinds of differnet people. I have her e-mail address so I am trying to figure out how to proceed..... I was thinking of just sending her a "Good luck" with work type of e-mail and make a casual suggestion of hanging out just to see how she reacts.... Any suggestions?
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Totally ask her out! She is sending all the singnals.... Unless she thinks you are gay and wants a "guy friend" to hang out with! Seriously, she seems totally interested!!
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Every a good idea to confront a girl on her actions?
Lansing replied to Lansing's topic in Dating Advice
ok.. I decided to do the e-mail thing and she responded the next day by text basically saying should would have to pass since she just got the e-mail and it was already late..... Anyway, from the tone of the text, I feel better just leaving things be for now.... I feel like now she knows I want to see her again and now it is up to her to make the effort if she does... so, I am leaving things be unless I hear from her.. and even then, she will have to prove to me that is worthwhile to try again..... I just wanted to put a quick update up for those that were reading.... I like reading others when they come back and post followups to their stories!! -
Every a good idea to confront a girl on her actions?
Lansing replied to Lansing's topic in Dating Advice
Didn't realize how hard it would be just to forget about her.... I guess I keep thinking "what if she didn't get my message"..... well, I just found out from a mutual friend that she had been sick over the weekend and was still sick earlier this week...(I didn't ask, it came up in conversation). I think everyone here would probably give me the advice "don't call her, she will call you if she is interested" but I keep thinking maybe she thinks I don't want to hear from her or is worried how I will react if she calls me a week later..... I am debating whether to send her an e-mail or something.... I probably shouldn't but I guess I kind of want to give her one last chance..... -
Every a good idea to confront a girl on her actions?
Lansing replied to Lansing's topic in Dating Advice
Thanks for the replies.... I guess I will just forget about her for now and if she calls I will figure out what to say........ It is so odd because during the 4 or 5 dates we had she seemed totally into me. The only thing I can think of is because I was cautious and not wanting to jump right into things she might have wondered how interested I am in her. This is feeling almost like a "test" right now where she is waiting to see how long I will go before I call her again. So, if she calls me I figure out something to say at that point I guess.... -
So, at the end of my "why are some girls flakey" thread I mentioned about this other girl that I had started dating. Well, she had made some "tentative" plans with me and then didnt' follow through with them without a phone call and then went away on holiday for a week and half (only to sent me a quick 3 line e-mail that she would call me when she came back). Well, we met up after she came back and she was acting all interested (i.e. she was very aggresive, very flirty, etc)... I actually had to cool things down a bit because I felt things were moving too quickly (especially after her flakiness). So, after that night I have talked with her on the phone and we made other plans but stuff came up and she had to change them (she called me at least this time, it was work related stuff). During that night I had jokingly mentioned her flakiness and she appologized for it (she said she hadn't forgotten about me, far from it,etc,etc).... So, based on that night and the time we talked later I thought she was totally into me. Which leads to now. I haven't talked to her in over a week and a half. I had called her when she got back from work but she just sent me a text to tell me she was back but things were a write off for a few days. I called her on Thursday, left a message for her, but she hasn't call me back. Part of me wants to confront her about her actions and her lack of respect. Like.. part of me wants to make her realize her actions are not acceptable. I am pretty much at the point of not wanting to date her in the future (unless she has a REALLY good reason for her last actions..... I am partly thinking she isn't very experienced in relationships and it scared so she backed off.... but, well...that is just lame if that is the case)... Anyway, general question, is it ever a good idea to confront someone? I know I should probably just forget about it... but I am curious about other people's experience.
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If she lives a long distance away from you, what do you expect to happen? Hard to maintain a relationship long distance, I can only imagine starting one!
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umm.... I am just thinking, I don't remember when I first went out with the girl I am dating now... I guess I can figured it out, but, yeah, if she said "Happy six month anniversary" I would be like "yeah, you too" and have no idea when the actual date was suppose to have been
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Did you not pick up on purpose?? if that is the case, don't play games... If you missed his call, call him back if he left a message.... I have this situation where I almost wrote off a girl totally because I thought she was being "flakey" ... I think she just didn't want to appear to be over eager... but, things almost ended before they started because of her "play hard to get" type thing she thought she should do....
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Do you think he is inexperienced with "dating" girls in general? Maybe all he knows is the physical stuff but doesn't know how to communicate besides that. I might have missed it in the last post (where he said he wanted to have sex with you), but, if you haven't had sex yet, I would wait off a while to make sure he isn't just doing all of these to "get some" (regardless of what he said to you verbally).. And, if you want to know if he is really "into" you, I would back off a bit too.. Let him call you the next time or suggest getting together.
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Well.. She sent me an e-mail over the weekend... She is still on her trip. She said she will call me when she gets back. It was a very brief e-mail. I am not sure if I will confront her when she calls... probably mention it in a joking way and see what her "Excuse" is for not keeping her plans before...
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Haha... Slacker.. that is MEAN.. you left here there!!! Did you ever talk to her again or hear what she thought of you after??? Yeah, as a guy, I usually offer to pay but it is usually something small like a drink or a coffee... I don't take out girls for dinner on a first date. I wouldn't go to a movie on a first date either.... But, I would get your wallet out and go to pay.... If he wants to pay for you, he will likely say "2 tickets for superman" and when you go to get your wallet out he will say "that's okay.. I got it this time" or whatever!
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Well... I personally think it is rude that you aren't responding to him..... He is making an effort to reach out to you and maybe he made a "mistake" before, but, regardless of ONE mistake, I think that it is rude to ignore him. Coming from the "guy" side of things, I would be very annoyed if I was him. I would hope for at least some kind of response even to know that I am just waisting my time but, at least that your getting the message....
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cooking class? Well.. maybe on another date down the road... One of my favourite "date" things is summer festivals... See if there is any events going on locally.. You aren't forced to "talk" to her all the time, but, there is plenty of time to chat when you are walking around,etc...
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Yeah... Luke, I can see how that applies for my first "story"... but, as for this latest situation, we have already gone on three dates, she is the one that suggested getting together on Sunday, she mentioned it a few times.....I am figuring there must be another guy in the picture or something....