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I'm just curious, but what video game is it that he is playing so much?

Wow everyone. Thanks for your reply. I have to say, that I had some wine to drink last night, and that really brings out the emotions in me. I woke up and asked myself what the hell have I done, But I realize more and more that having her on AIM means nothing but a constant reminder. Its like games, she had me blocked for a while after the breakup (for about 3 months), i wished her a happy birthday back in june, she unblocked me, and hasnt started a single conversation with me. We'll both be online and not say a word to each other. Its like its all games. She says she "doesnt want to lead me on"..well at least she's honest. She knows where to reach me if the need be and I only want to hear it if she has something worth my time to hear. I feel I have made huge strides in my healing. I knew all along that always checking her away message and checking up on her facebook, daily, was doing nothing but hurting me, but I couldnt help it. So I feel releived now. She doesn't control my happiness anymore, and I know very well that i'm not a piece of meat to be thrown around by a girl, I dont care who. No matter how bad things got between us (and believe me, they never really got bad), not once would I consider breaking up with her. So for her to just throw it all away speeks a lot on its own. I can't forget that. I would have assumed that if I broke up with her that it would be game over completely between us. Sadly, I have realized that I gave her the luxuory of knowing she can pop in and out of my life as she pleases. Not any more. As a side note, I am completely open to dating girls and have a great time when I go out. Went on a blind date last night, the girl just wasnt attractive to me and we really shared no interests at all. But I went in with an open mind and figured hey, you never know.

Well. I sent her an IM. I said I am saying goodbye. Every day that I long for her to cme back kills me more and more each day. I wished her the best of luck in everything she does, and then I blocked her on AIM. I then deleted her. I am crying for the fist time in months.. This girl meant more than the world to me and the fact that i'm saying goodbye right now feels like im saying goodbye on day one. Its done. I always thought she would have come around... I acceptetd its not going to happen. I am trying my hardest right now to say goodbye. I deleted her from Facebook, and now she is just a stranger. I guess it had to ben done sooner or later. i havent cried in 6 months. I loved her so much. Goodbye Abbie.

Good point. This girl actually told me she is not attracted to guys who are all about themselves but rather just confident in themselves. She told me she doesnt like guys with huge egos. We were even joking about how I just got a new BBQ, and she has her george forman grill.. she was like mine is way better than yours, and i was like, phh no way, and she said, well.... lets have a cook off then a find out. So I definitely think she is flirting with hanging out.

I guess the reason I question asking her out is because I feel that she is like this very attractive girl who could pretty much have anyone she wants, and I feel sort of out of her league... I know its a bad way to think about things, but ive definitely been in better shape in my life (I got lazy when I was with my ex...) and had a lot more confidence. I have been back in the gym 6 days a week for hte past 5 weeks or so, so i know I am back on track to getting in shape again. But it definitely feels like she is interested. A while back she even called me to spend the day with her, we went for lunch and everything... this was back when we were both in relationships so I wasnt really looking for anything back then. But it was a good chance to get to know her. I think I will just throw something out there to her.

Hey everyone, thanks for reading. I have posted on here a little while ago about my ex what to take on that... but what I want to do now is forget about her and date other girls. I have realized tha twhen someone leaves you, they should be prepared to accept the fact that your gone, and me waiting around is only demeaning to myself. So having said that.. I am interestd in asking out a girl that cuts my hair. She is right around my age and a very attractive girl. She has said on numerous occasions that I would be way more fun to hang out with than her currecnt group, and her previous bf (who she was with at the time). I just went and got my hair cut and she told me she broke up with her boyfriend because he was treating her poorly. I told her how I took a trip clubbing with some people over the weekend and how boring they were... she was like, well i'm a lot of fun to go out with. I complemented her on her new hair, and she was like, your so awsome for noticing, give me 5 for that, and you just scored some good points with me! Her and I are very flirty with each other and our personalities get along great. Everything just flows so naturally when i'm talking wiht her. The thing is she gave me her phone number way back and we never got around to hanging out, except once, and she says it was because her bf at the time would pretty much get jealous if i would call or text. I'm wondering if I should just go for it and ask her if she wants to hang out sometime. We flirted with the idea in the past but now that she is single I think it might actually happen. I guess the only thing I dont want to do is create an awkward situation when I go to get my haircut.... though I typically wouldn't care too much about rejection.

any other insight from anyone or would that be the general consensus as to what Relationship Coach had said...

Would you mind elaborating on why you think I should tell her? Most people would say that I should let her do the work, since she tried so hard to convince me it was over, im just curious why you think it would be beneficial for me to tell her?

But woudlnt' she know how I feel, considering all of the things I did to try and get her for about a month after the break up?

Hey everyone... I have been coming to this site for a few months now and reading a ton of posts and I think that I have learned a lot from everyone. I will try and keep this simple. I was with my girlfriend for 2 years. Our first year together was great. We were both in college and after our first year together she had to take a semester abroad in England. We didnt see each other for 5 months but we talked all the time and emailed, things were fine and I was so excited for her to come home. Well, when she was gone I found myself gettign involved in a very addicting massive online game, and prior to that I would barely play video games at all. About a year ago she decided she wanted to take a break...After a few weeks of the break she made it "permanent". During this time I would call her maybe once a week, at first I would get upset and cry, but then I would keep things lite. About a two weeks into the permanent break I called her up and just said that I was thinking about her and wanted to say hi... she told me that she had been doing some thinking over the weekend and that she wanted to talk when she got back from visiting her home. When she got back she told me she realized she missed me so much and was still in love with me (when she made the break a breakup, she told me she didnt love me anymore and that she didnt feel strongly for me anymore). So things got back on track and we were happy again. Fast forward to the beginning of spring semester. I found myself very busy with school, and work, and I had managed to get involved in that video game again. She was student teaching and didnt have any free time , so we would see each other mostly on weekends, even though we lived within walking distance. We were both very busy with school and working (and I had my addiction to a video game.. ugh). What happened next, she came in to work to visit me with her friend (whom her and I set up with my friend... those two friends are dating now by the way) and asked me if i wanted to go out. I decided I would, and we went out and had a great time....except at the end of the night. I had consume way too many drinks, and the details of what happened are foggy. Basically, we got into a silly fight about nothing important, we were both drunk. I went home, she was going to stay over but because of the fight she went back to her dorm with her roomate (who tried to split us up the first time). I woke up the next day, called her in the morning and apologized for the fight, said that I dont really remember what it was about but that I woke up feeling like horrible. Well, she came over that night and broke it off. She said she didnt want to risk growing old and having regretted not seing what else is out there (we were each others first serious relationships) over a relationship that is only "ok" and not "great". Well that night, she stayed over, we hooked up a couple times, and then I got really sad in the morning and left for work. Well I was relatively fine after that, I figured I had done nothing wrong and that if she didnt want to be with me then fine. Then.. one night I came home, checked her away message on AIM and it was "Out at the dance with my hot date and then heading downtown!!!!!!!! ". I lost it after seing that. It turns out dher hot date was her friend (a girl) and it was just a joke. She claims it didnt matter what she put because we werent together, but then she admited that she hoped I was going to look at it. Anyway, I went downhill from there, everytime we talked on IM or on the phone it was me trying to get her back, getting super upset, trying everything to get her to come back... I was a true emotional wreck. After a while, I just figured I would drop it. After a few weeks, i woke up one morning and it dawned on me. She didnt leave me for stupid reasons... she left me because I wasnt treating her how she deserved. I was neglecting her to play a video game (its VERY addictiing).. she would come over to my place at night, I would hang out for a bit, then go on my computer and she would fall asleep alone. I became selfish, and I didnt even realize it at the time. I should have been great to her but I wasnt, I got lazy and I got too comfortable. I realized this all on my own. What I have done now is I got rid of the game, deleted my account so that I never play it again. I pay much more attention to being a better person, I have started a new job in my field of study, and I work out all the time now. I have tried to change my life for me, to make me happier. Now the one problem is... we have been broken up for about 3.5 months now, and I still think about her every single day. A month after we broke though up I went over and talk to her, told her I got rid of the game and acknowledged how crappy I was being towards her. I didnt bring up the relationship, I just talked to her about school and her work. She invited me up to her room to talk and we did for a while. She said make yourself comfortable but I didnt want to stay long so I didnt. She ended up calling me later and losing it at me, saying she needed to work and all we did was talk about the same thing over and over and over, so I said to myself, you knwo what... I dont need this. She said she wanted to take a month from speeking to each other so we could get over each other. So i left and told myself I wouldnt contact her. Well exactly one month, to the day after that conversation, she sent me a text message congratulating me on my graduation from college and how I really deserved it. We had the odd back and fourth lite text messages but I figured I would leave the ball in her court. I ended up calling her a few weeks after that text, we caught up on things, and she was being VERY complimentative towards me, saying how all the girls love me, and how i'm soo cute. She told me she was VERY sorry for how she treated me that last day we saw each other (when she blew up at me) and that she was way out of line. That was that, no relationship talk on my part, except she did say how she thought our entire relationship was pretty good, which is opposite of what she said when she broke it off, saying that the last year together was pretty much jsut weird. So from that phone call I decided to leave the contact up to her. It would seem that every 2 weeks she sends me a text message just wishing me well. She found out somehow that I was in NYC and decided to say she hoped my trip to NYC was going well... Sorry this is so long. I tried not to read in to these but I figured she is maintaining somewhat of contact but i'm not sure for what reason. On wednesday, it was her birthday so I sent a text wishing her a Happy birthday. About 10 minutes after getting that, she un-blocked me from IM, which she had me blocked for about 3 months (back then I was very upset and I was just making her uspet, so I dont blame her). We havent spoken yet on IM, as I am going to let her make first contact on that. But I was shocked to see her screen name appear online. Every time we did communicate (mostly via text) i kept things up beat.. would say everything is going great and that i hope the same for her.. things like that. I just don't know what to do though. I still love her, I think about her every single day, but at least at this point in time im not upset about things... its just a thought in my head not something that makes me upset though. I have been doing a great job at leaving the communication up to her, but I just miss her so much. I'm not sure what to do, keep up what I'm doing... let her know how I feel, or just let it go..... its such a tough one. Thanks for reading this , I just figured I would try to get the key points out now so people have a better understanding of the situation.