Lansing

I agree... People want what they can't have..... so, you probably want him more because he is taken now... Ignore him and find someone new

Well, I am a guy, and, I don't really call girls every day after having gone on one or even two dates with them! I will call them after a few days and usually set up another date if I want to see them again. I might then call the day before the date to make sure everything is on. However, if we set up a time and place to meet, I might not even call to confirm if I have stuff going on during the evening before. I just expect the girl to be there as I know I will.

I don't think 4 days is all that long! Like... lets say you go out on a wednesday. Thursday night you maybe have plans, and friday night too and than Saturday you are busy during the day so you call on Sunday when you figure you will both be free. I for one wouldn't be calling a girl on a Saturday night even if I was sitting at home doing nothing... But, yeah, if a guy is just doing it to "pretend" he is busy.. well, that isn't a good idea! I say you try to call again... how about asking her out for something else besides coffee?? I think you might be setting yourself up for disappointment if the "Second" coffee isn't as fun as the first. So, do something different so you aren't comparing the two "Dates" as much...

Someone else posted a thread just like this a few days ago. I think his name was "SW" or something like that. She lost the attraction or she figured the LDR wasn't worth it anymore. Time to move on.....

Well.... I know for a FACT that you are wrong that all guys are looking for sex. Because, personally, I am not. I would date a girl that didn't want to have sex until marriage or until she was in a commited relationship. I am more concerned that you don't have any "offline" friends. How do you explain that females don't want to be your friend? I think you need to work on that more than finding a boyfriend. I don't want to put you in a worse state of mind, but, you can't explain away girls not wanting to be your friend by saying you won't have sex with them, so, they ran off. I think you should be looking at what you might be doing to push people away. Maybe you are afraid to get close to people in general and are coming up with excuses to push people away.... Hopefully this doesn't come accross as too "critical" but, I think if you really want to have happiness in life you need to "reframe" your thinking...

OH man! I didn't see that coming!! This story gets more interesting (btw, I think you are better off without him as you really do deserve someone who is totally into you!)

Yeah.. I kind of agree with Squarewheel but, I think you should be having fun just to enjoy your life in general, with, or without a guy. I agree thought that your attitude seems very negative and I am SURE that comes through when interacting with guys... I find it very hard to believe that every guy you have ever talked to has wanted just sex from you. Try to make some guy friends even. Even if you have to make it clear you aren't interested in dating them. What about female friends? Do you have a large social circle? I don't understand how every guy who meets you would want "just sex".

Well.. if I could figure out why girls do this , I think I would be a wealthy man. I have had girls do this to me often. They seem a bit too eager even (I miss you, calling me "babe" after a few dates,etc) and then "boom" they are gone... I think you could try the classic call with a message something like "hey ****, it is ****, I am calling you again because I felt like we had a connection and I wanted to give you one last chance"..... or something like that... The exact phrase I have seen posted elsewhere.... I tend to give girls too many chances... It isn't like I am calling them every day but after a few days of not hearing from them (or, if they respond by text to a voicemail I left) I will try to call them again....

yeah.. I agree wtih Gattsuga... I would much rather have a "conservative" kisser than have a girl that sticks her tongue down my throat after a date or 2... I want my first kisses with a girl to be "gentle" then progress to something a bit more aggresive down the road..

yeah.. talk to her.. If you think you will break up, you are better off breaking up now than after you waste more time trying to please her, etc...

Umm... do you fancy her based on her postings??? Or do you actually know her in real life!! If you are just basing it on her postings and her pictures..... I think you should just get over the "Crush' you have.. if you know her in real life... do as per above..

I think you are waisting time with him.. If he doesn't want to date, find someone else.. I mean, you can "go for it" and see how he reacts... but, that would just be to "close that door" type thing and move on with you life. If you spend too much energy focussing on him, you will not be able to move on and meet someone new...

To the last poster.... He may have just been asking you because he wanted female company.... I would ask out girls that have "BFs" if I like them in a friendly sense....

He was probably freaked out by you being drunk... If I were him, I think I would appreciate a phone call... Explain yourself to him that you were sorry for getting drunk .....

Do people actually invite girls on "Dates" and say "I want to take you out on a date??" or "lets go out on a date"?? I just ask a girl out for a coffee or for a drink or whatever and I assume she knows it is a date.... Maybe that has been my problem? But, it would seem weird to say "lets go out on a "Date" " type thing...

Hello everyone, I think I am dealing with a situation where a girl is somewhat shy..... I am curious from other shy girls if you would ever not return a phone call from a guy because you are too shy to. Or, if you would send an e-mail instead in response to his phone call. As a shy girl, would you ever tell a guy you were going to call back to confirm plans but then not call him?

Well.. you sign off "Desperate Guy"... I think your desperation will come through when you are meeting girls.... So... if you have a different attitude about the whole process, I think it will help in your success.... Think that you are just meeting different people (guys and girls). If you meet a girl that you actually "click" with, then, you can think a bit more about how to attract her.... but, don't think "oh.... I soooo want this girl to be my girlfriend".... think more, "I really would like to get to know this girl more and see if we really connect". You should be qualifying the girl if she is suited for you... You shouldn't have to wait around and see if she likes you..... Assume she does.... and then YOU decide if you are interested in her...

Interesting.. thanks for the video and also thanks to Helloladies for the link. I realize that I think I am spending too much time on the "attract" stage without moving beyond that. I think it is backfiring on me...

yeah, you are only 17 years old... slow things down a bit! I mean, buying her a ring already for christmas..... and dating less than 6 months.... hold off a bit... don't count every "day"... Just enjoy your time together...

Well.. It has been twice she said she would call and didn't... But, at the start, she was very prompt in returning calls, and seemed to make every effort to hang out..... we talked after those times where she said she would call and didn't (or, would send a text message instead a day or two later) and things seemed to be fine in our conversations. She said she would call this week so, this will be the third time and I am not planning on breaking the no contact this time by contacting her at all...

Well.. With this girl, I was mixing things up and she seemed to really enjoy date one and date 2. However, since they were pretty "casual" and I had already known her and communicated to her as a "friend" before, I didn't want to jump to far ahead to kissing her on date 2... Then, on date 3, I had the start of a cold (not like I was "hacking up" or anything, I just felt like I was starting to get sick) so, I didn't want to kiss her then but I was flirting with her by touching her knee or touching her arm... I think it came accross as natural (I wasn't "trying" to get frisky with her.. it just kind of happened as our conversation developed...)... Anyway, since then, she has blown me off twice. There are a few times where she has said she would call on a certain date and hasn't... However, one time I called her after that time period and we chatted and seemed to still have a good connection on the phone. I guess what I am wondering is, maybe she is trying to avoid me but still "pretending" to enjoy talking to me and laughing along with me when I call?? I think it would be better if she came accross as "bored" so I would know I am waisting my time... I also read stories here about girls not calling or returning a guys call even when they were VERY interested in him... so... this confuses me.... I thought I could tell when there was a "connection" as I have gone on a bunch of first dates and I haven't felt this way about a girl in a long time (even after date 3)

Yeah... You aren't going to be doing ANYTHING with her... Don't think you are going to win her over because if you are, well, don't bother going at all.. I think you are better off asking a single girl that you are also interested in to go with you. Don't tell me you only like one girl in your whole school??! Don't be like me and waste your high school years "infatuated" with girls that were already taken!

Yeah... I think people "avoid" others to try to protect themselves vs. actually trying to be "nice" to the other person. I think it is MUCH worse to have someone avoid vs. being upfront and say "I don't think we have enough of a connection"...

I am wondering if I was maybe perceiving chemistry when all she was giving off was "I find you interesting and have fun talking to you, but, I am not attracted to you"... arg, I feel like I totally misread the situation....It seemed like we were totally clicking, joking around,etc....

Well, I have been blown off a few times since the last date.... I am leaving it in her hands now.... She said she will call this week to try to arrange something..... I don't really trust or believe her anymore though... I am working on moving on to someone else...