Jump to content

Lil Punkin

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    85

  • Joined

 Content Type 

Everything posted by Lil Punkin

  1. Lil Punkin
    Splendy, keep your chin up. I think this "editor" sounds like a pompous * * * personally. Pointing out a grammatical error to you, was their way of 'putting you in your place" and letting you know Who's Boss......I agree with the other poster. No WONDER you're beating yourself up!! I consider myself a fairly decent writer, maybe not "journalist" caliber, but I think my writing skills are above average. I don't ALWAYS proof read everything I write, because I am usually pretty confident it will come accross fine to the reader. I am also a pretty good speller, so I don't even bother using spell check..LOL......and usually Lo and Behold AFTER I send it..I will find two or three typos....Oooops. Not sure where I am going with this point...I guess I just want you to know you are HUMAN...first ond foremost. To be honest, if that editor had written that resply to ME, I would have had to get a little dig in there with a sarcastic reply......maybe something like "I appreciate you pointing out that grammatical error to me, I didn't realize I was being graded, but thanks anyway". That's just ME though....LOL.
  2. Lil Punkin
    Dogg, You sound better than you did a few weeks ago. Less defensive...but thats a good sign. It means you are gradually accepting that things may not go back to the way they were...and you know what? That is a GOOD thing sometimes. Right now, you don't see that..but you WILL. Give it time!! You were with this girl for THREE years! That's a LONG time...no one expects you to forget her right away. Don't beat yourself up for not getting over it faster. You NEED to grieve this loss. Your heart is an open wound right now and you need to take that time to heal it. Rest it. Don't jump back the dating "pool" again so fast....to prove you are worthy or you can get over her with someone else. All that does is create a whole other set of issues for you..on top of the ones you have. Just be alone for a while....learn what YOU like again. Forget your ex...for NOW. Focus on you. I think the key to putting someone behind you is to allow them in your mind in increments. Allow yourself say...an hour a day to wonder, think, grieve, cry over this person...then force yourself to do somethig else. This gives you permission to remember them...but not obsess over it. The personI am trying to forget about...is almost a lingering memory now. It has taken a good five months..but truthfully I am just emotionally tired of thinking about him. I'm ready to move on ...and you will be too. Just give it time....
  3. Lil Punkin
    Agreeing with Confused here....... Women usually will not give up the security of a "sure thing" (USUALLY) unless there's "security" waiting in the wings. Your best bet is to trust your instincts.
  4. Lil Punkin
    OCD, From this whoe thread you've posted, it sounds like your ex has you right back where you started with her. Square one. She wanted to make sure you weren't going anywhere BEFORE she did. Yeah, she called you over and over again, but so what? She has not said anything definitive about working things out with you. I understand she has a lot going on in her life right now..and not to sound harsh, but BIG DEAL. Those are HER issues. You're not her b/f or her caretaker. She has told you SHE will call you when SHE'S ready. Do you see where I'm going with this?? This is ALL about HER. On HER terms, HER timetable. What about YOUR life OCD?? Dont YOu have important things going on? Is she calling to see aboutYOU? This is a two way street here, and as long as you try to be the "nice guy" all the time, she is going to walk all over you. I think you sound like an awesome guy..but truthfully...too awesome for her. She is NOT respecting you, regardless of whats going on. A woman who loves you and WANTS to be with you would not see these circumstances as obstacles..they would be grateful to have you there holding their hand. That's what caring about someone means. You do what you want to do..but you need to take a LONG HARD look at things here. How long are you willing to wait? What are yu willing to put up with for someone who is just NOT sure about you?? These are things you should be considering...because they affect YOU in the long run. I wish you the best...
  5. Lil Punkin
    Hmmmmm....how long are we talking? Years? Months? Some men end long term things because they simply grow tired of them. When a man loves a woman...the RIGHT woman. commitment doesn't scare him. However..there ARE men who are terrified of marriage.....just the mere word makes them break out in hives. Men can and WILL date or even live with a woman for years..just don't say the "M" word. It somehow conjures up images of shackles and chains for them. I think it just depends on how you approach the "commitment" issue with them.
  6. Lil Punkin
    Hahaha Keefy....I'm buying myself a new rubber ducky to play with...lol
  7. Lil Punkin
    I've been browsing the forum recently and am simply amazed at what I am seeing.... so many posters falling victim to the holiday trap........ The holidays bring out either the best or the worst in people...depending which side of the fence you're on. Those in happy stable relationships are all smiles...skipping down the aisles in the mall, looking for that PERFECT gift for their PERFECT mate ....ok I am being facetious, but you get the point. The other side of the fence is the hearbroken, the rejected and the lonely...looking toward the holidays with heavy hearts, gloom and despair. So they log onto Enotalone...looking for solace and any kind of positive advice that just may bring their lost loves back. It IS Christmas/New Years after all...we are entitled to have them back...right? So we somehow justify in our minds that it is ok to toss caution to the wind..and give up all that hard work, all those months we have tried SO hard to be strong....to contact those who drove us here to begin with. What I am saying here is that using the holidays as an excuse to contact an ex you are trying to get over...is just that...AN EXCUSE. Ok...so you contact them on Xmas...then New Year. Then whats next? The MOST romantic holiday of the year..Valentines Day!!! Oh my..what to do then?? When do the excuses stop? Moving on is hard enough without having Hallmark moments rubbed in our faces. It is up to US to be strong because our ex'es are not going to do it FOR us.... I am just as suceptible to this as anyone else..but I KNOW a times like this it is easy to fall prey to this "excuse trap'...Don't do it! In fact if anything be EXTRA strong because of it....we all need EXTRA support, and EXTRA caring in these times..but we CAN get through it...and with any luck the next holiday will NOT be spent sitting at a monitor, but with someone you love and cherish. Happy Holidays..be strong everyone !
  8. Lil Punkin
    NO HOPE!!! I'm In Florida....where it's WARM!!! (LOL Sorry couln't resist!) I read that this morning...apparently news travels SLOWLY down here!!lol The story is kinda sad thogh isn't it? The person who left the ring must have been either...totally heartless and vindictive....OR completely devastated, to do what they did with that ring!!
  9. Lil Punkin
    LMAO......good idea.....
  10. Lil Punkin
    I read online this story this morning....talk about getting "even"...lol An anonymous gift-giver, apparently depressed over a lost love, left a $15,000 diamond engagement ring in somebody's else's unlocked car in a commuter parking lot. The ring came in a box topped with a white bow and accompanied by a note, which read: "Merry Christmas. Thank you for leaving your car door unlocked. Instead of stealing your car I gave you a present. Hopefully this will land in the hands of someone you love, for my love is gone now. Merry Christmas to you." A 37-year-old Northborough man found the three-diamond, white gold ring on the seat of his car, which he had parked at the MBTA train station in Westborough on Dec. 7, The MetroWest Daily News of Framingham reported Thursday. He called police to report the find four days later, after he had the ring appraised. "This appears to be random, but we don't really know," said police Lt. Paul Donnelly. Police declined to identify the man. A police report said he had decided to keep the ring. Wow....I guess everyone deals with things differently, huh??? LOL
  11. Lil Punkin
    Keefy... She's trying to throw you a "bone" (not THE bone) and see if you're gonna take the bait. Don't do it!!!! You have come way too far with your NC....sounds like what one of the other posters said...she's just out of her comfort zone with you and she feels out of control by not calling the shots. This does NOT mean she wants to get back together!!! It simply means she's trying to get control of those "puppet strings" again and make sure you're still dancing for her. She sounds very selfish....being with someone else, and yet not allowing you to move forward. She knows EXACTLY what she's doing...especially if you have TOLD her where you stand. DO NOT..I REPEAT...DO NOT GIVE IN TO HER!!!! Stay focused..and stay strong with NC!!! It's time to make HER squirm!!!
  12. Lil Punkin
    Capricorn, I like One Sxxy's advice to you. She is right, you ARE much better than this game your ex is playing with you. I know the day to day NC is SOOO hard, but it really WILL get easier. The longer you hold out. Eventually you will see things objectively, and see how he is trying to pull your strings like a puppet. By then you will be strong enough to laugh and feel indifference for him...which is REALLY where you want to be. Hope things work out for you
  13. Lil Punkin
    Hi Journey... She sounds frustrated. Like you should KNOW what's she's thinking and how she's feeling...without her saying a word. Hence her comment "You know how I get". Is that an excuse for her being irritating? No it's not. My suggestion in this case...would be ..next time she calls asking for "help"..and you agree to help her...if she gets like this, just ask her..."what's the problem? Do you want my help or not"? From what you've described, she sounds annoyed that you aren't doing cartwheels at her constant requests for help etc...and truthfully, you giving into her simply because she asks or insists on something probably does NOT help matters. Was this an issue for you guys when you were together? It sounds like she doesn't know her boundaries with you...perhaps you should start setting some. You are not obligated to jump everytime she says "frog"...(this of course excluding your parental duties) and she needs to respect that you have a life outside HER right now. This sounds like a major issue and unless it's addressed and worked through, you guys could have a lot of obstacles.
  14. Lil Punkin
    This question is for Poco...exactly what IS a "Realtionship Coach" and how are they different from a regular counselor? Where do you find one? lol Just curious?
  15. Lil Punkin
    Sazzle. I agree with Bethany...don't call him. Wait a couple weeks (BELIEVE ME I KNOW IT'S HARD!!!) give him some "breathing room". In the meantime.. you might want to read a book called "Mars and Venus on a Date" by John Gray. It is awesome...he goes through all the necessary stages of dating and how to handle situations. This guy is pulling away..and you need to allow him to do that, because if you don't, he may NOT come back. At least if you keep your distance and respect his space he can make the decision to pursue this or not. If he has NOT called you with a few weeks it doesn't mean it's over...I think you could call (preferably when you know he might be out) and leave a very brief message. Nothing heavy..just that you wanted to say hello and you hope he is doing well...leave a call back number. Be poitive..and happy. A guy is NOT going to call you back if you sound mopey and depressed. I hope this helps....and I hope he comes around. Keep us posted!!!
  16. Lil Punkin
    Ahh ok....Sorry I was under the impression he was being bothersome..ie, getting your phone number after you changed it twice, etc. I guess to ME it would be bothersome , but thats just me.
  17. Lil Punkin
    This guy is not at ALL respectful of you Capricorn....have you actually TOLD him to leave you alone? Because if you have and he isn't you can file harassment charges against him...especially if he is getting your number ilegally in order to do it. You DO have the ability to put an end to this if you want to....
  18. Lil Punkin
    WOW Canuck.... Now where are the tips for the ladies????
  19. Lil Punkin
    OCD, COOLSOME is right on the money here. Remember..it was NOT the pleading, begging, over analyzing that got your ex to start calling you again... it was the aloof, mysterious, CONFIDENT..MOVING ON OCD that got her to start calling you again. Remember that. I think that a thing that MOST people fail to remember is ALL the hard work and effort they invested in their emotional healing..all at the expense of spilling their guts at the first sign of life from an ex who dumped them. DON'T DO THIS!!!!!! Keep things in perspective here. Anytime you think of calling ....or of getting weak...remember those 3 or 4 months you cried and beat yourself up, hoping and wishing for just ONE phone call...was it worth it?? She STILL hasn't said "Let's work things out" OR "lets get back together". You are starting to hinge your hopes on these little crumbs of hope she's feeding you. If you're depending on that to get you through, I am sorry to say ...you're going to end up starving for more. I KNOW it's torture..but it's NOT your place to make things happen now. Just do as you've been doing....stay busy and stay strong. You can do this!!!
  20. Lil Punkin
    Exactly Journey...she is NOT used to you being this way and it's getting under her skin. I mean...how DARE you be short with her? Whatever you are doing is apparently getting a rise out of her.....but as long as you are taking care of your obligations..(your son) etc, you need to just worry about you. I am not saying ignore her..or don't talk to her....but remain indifferent! That's the key here. She probably feels like you are "slipping away"..and she's losing control over you and the situation. She may not even realize HOW or WHY she is reacting this way...but you will notice it. Keep us posted....
  21. Lil Punkin
    I am with Poco on his reply to you. Your intentions sound sincere, and your heart is in the right place BUT...what I think he meant is that the way you "delivered" your intentions to your ex were TOO serious and TOO heavy at this stage in the game. Who knows what is going to happen in April??? Heck I don't even know what I'm doing tomorrow or next week half the time!! Not only is it too boring and predictable, but it exudes desperation.It screams....I WILL NOT BE OVER YOU IN ANOTHER FOUR MONTHS!!!! Ok, I'm exxaggerating a little...but I think you get my point. There are FEW things that require four months notice..or planning...and a "date" is not one of them. A wedding YES...a date, no. The element of mystery s what seems to be lacking here.....I understand you don't want to "hurt" her...by saying you are dating other peole..but that's one of the consequences of breaking up with someone. If she LOVES you so much she will let you know in no uncertain terms she wants you back. What if you find out SHE is dating someone else first?? I am sure it will hurt your feelings a little...but she is a free agent and is free to do so....not only THAT, but if this does come to pass....you might be angry that she started "dating" again before you did. From your posts, I gather you are a "planner"..and you are planning her reactions to certain things, etc. That's dangerous..I have done it..and it's just simply a bad idea.....my thoughts.....
  22. Lil Punkin
    Ahhh using the child support and "whats best for our child" ploy to guilt trip you. Nice. She could be annoyed that you seem "distant"....and trying to coax you into an arugment about it....If you have already discussed the money issue, tell her that you are not going to rehash it again.Seems your ability to just keep things short and sweet with her gets under her skin. Does she tend to like to control situations and outcomes? Thats the feeling I get from your posts...
  23. Lil Punkin
    Gotta agree with Poco on this one.` I'm a woman and I won't 'touch" or even be physically near someone I am not interested in. If you feel like things are one sided and you're being taken advantage of..you probably are. Unless it has to do with your son, I wouldn't say yes to every little thing she requests....unless of course she is reciprocating. I realize saying no to someone you love is a hard thing to do sometimes..but at the same time you don't want to just be a doormat ..or her little "do boy" either. Just my thoughts...
  24. Lil Punkin
    Congrats Natalie.. Capricorn....You will hurt like hell the first month....cry without shame if you need to..it will help. I am doing NC with someone ...going on my 2nd week of REAL, SOLID, NC. It feels good, I feel in control and better about things. You will too I promise, after that first initial few weeks. You just cry and grieve as much as much as you need to..I promise..the sun will start shining again, and you WILL be happy again. Just give it time..... Hang in there!!
  25. Lil Punkin
    Capricorn.... This guy sounds like a complete waste of time and energy. Not only that...but his actions are EXTREMELY selfish and immature.I think you need to do what you're doing..IGNORE him. He sounds like he thinks he can just treat you like crap and you're just gonna take it......I'm not one to mince my words so I hope I don't sound harsh, but seriously, this guy is a DUD. You are doing the right thing here. Congrats on 17 days of NC..I know how tough it is...so you should be very proud of yourself. Treat yourself to something nice on your full month of NC...a sexy outfit or something I know I will!! lol Be strong, you'll make it!!
×
×
  • Create New...