sazzle

He has asked that I need to calm down and ask him about things before I blow up. He knows that he has a past that he hasnt bothered to get rid of. ie. emails and texts from exes but I just delete them and wondered why he kept them if he was no longer interested. Im not normally jealous which is strange for me. There have just been so many things that have happened and i have no evidence that he has cheated at all. I know i need to change my behaviour. You are right, I have to do this for me and him.

I had been seeing my boyfriedn for a couple of months when he got shipped out to Germany. Before that everything had been perfect, he adored me and loved me. I didnt realise till he had gone how much he meant to me. The first time I went to Germany a German girl started calling him. I was really angry about this as he looked really shifty and said he had meant to tell me but didnt. He said he met her when he was in Germany 2 years before and that they were just friends but never took me to meet her. I was furious and we fought. Then that night one of his exes was calling him at 1am. I asked him about this and he said he hadnt seen her for months. He also had an ex girlfriend who he described as beautiful and still kept rude texts from her. I started to get suspicious and found old texts from exes. We met on a dating website and he was still talking to some of the girls from there during our relationship. He said nothing happened so what was the problem. I took him to my work do and he started eyeing up my bosses wife, this led to another massive fight. Throughout this process I kept dumping him, with him asking me to come back to me and telling me it was all innocent. I got so angry with him and started shouting which I know was completely the wrong thing to do as he is a very sensitive person. All my trust for him went as each time this happened he seemd so shifty about it all, like he had something to hide. I ended up not trusting him at all and constantly phoning him and accusing him of things. This behaviour from me eventually led to him being distant and the more distant he became the worse i got. This led to us going round and round in this pattern of me getting angry and questioning him. When he came back from Germany he moved in but everything was different. We started arguing about silly things and I felt completely unloved and angry. This caused him to pull away. I asked him to move out last weekend and now I realise how my behaviour has ruined our relationship. I believe if you want something enough you will change your behaviour but I want him to change too. He now says he needs to be alone to think and does not know what to do. He doesnt not want me in his life, he wants it to go back to how it was. I want this too and believe we can both change our behaviours. How can I trust him to be more honest so I dont think he is up to something. At the moment I cant stop calling him and I know I am driving him away. I need to stop getting angry too. Please help us to decide what to do as we love each other so much.

Not sure who is in the wrong with this relationship. We got back together on Friday and had a fantastic day. Everything was great and then I invited him out with my friends and his friends. Bad move we were drunk when we met. I went off with my friends and went to go and talk to him. He said go away you ignored me for 2 hours. I apologised but he went off and starting chatting to some girl. I was really upset and he got nasty with me. I ended up hitting him....so ashamed of myself. Everyone saw it. We still made up that night and he was upset cos I wanted to end it. I said it felt like too much aggro already. Since then had a chance to think. I was rude but still annoyed about the gran thing. He says he is no longer interested. Im confused, keep texting him and he keeps getting angry. How do I get over this feeling of despair and stop making a fool of myself.

Following on from before....we split up again about a week ago. He told me that his gran was ill and they did not think she would make the night. I was really concerned and sent him a text each day asking if she was ok. He did not reply one day and I thought she had died. Then he said things were bad for him and he needed to spend time with his family. I said of course thats ok but then he ended saying he could not have a relationship. I sent my best saying hope the family was ok. I was extremely worried and he let me believe she had died. A few days went past and I said I know I was weird and understood why he did not want to be with me. He phoned me that day said he always wanted to be with me but got scored cos I was being needy. We spent a day together and talked and got to know each other a lot more. He wants me back but now the trust for me has gone. How could he use his gran like that? Why not just end the relationship. Im hurt by this and not sure if I want him back. Any thoughts from anyone?

Thanks for all your kind wishes. His grandma died and asked him if he wanted to leave the relationship alone. He said yes cos needs to be with his family. He said it is over cos thing are not good at the moment for him and he cant see a relationship in the foreseeable future. Before this he was really into me. I said that it was fair enough and would like to keep in touch though. Said I was sorry for his loss. I know its a bit sad but I told him I was going to wait for him. Probably sound desperate now!

Thanks for your replies. I agree with what your saying about giving him space. I dont think it was an excuse not to see me. We were both really into each other. He was crazy about me. We only dated a few times so I understand I am the last thing on his mind at the moment. Its too soon in the relationship for me to be around when he just wants to be with his family. I just dont understand why he broke it off completely. On Sunday morning he text me about 20 times telling me how much he liked me and missed not seeing me. He was going to come over that day until his gran took a turn for the worse. I did actually ask him what he wanted to do, whether he wanted to call it off and he said he needs to be with his family right now and cant see a relationship happening in the foreseeable future.

I met a lovely man a few weeks ago. The problem is we have not had much time to see each other because we have both been busy. Then the worst thing happened and his grandma died. I knew she was ill and text him each day to offer my support and help. I did not hear from him and asked him if he wanted to leave the relationship. He said that we are over cos he just needs to be with his family right now and cant be in a relationship in the foreseeable future. What should I do? I offered my help and said stay in touch. I like him so much and want him back when things are better for him.

Well I came accross as needy. I asked him if he didnt like me any more for no apparent reason. I have apologised for this and eventually he was cool about it. He has also dislocated his shoulder so Im just worried if I keep contacting him it will drive him away further.

Should I contact him about meeting up? Have not seen him for a week?

Ive just met a fantastic man but came on too strong and stressy with him and now he has gone silent on me. What's the best way to win him back. Before this we were perfect and had so much in common. I know he really likes me just need to convince him I am the person he first met. Also his grandma is ill and may die shortly. Dont want to put pressure on him. Whats the best move to make?

Thank you for all your comments. He has come back to me now cos I gave him some space. So it does work

I met this fantastic guy on the internet who is looking for a relationship. He was texting me constantly and sending me emails about how much he liked me and wanted me. Then he dislocated his shoulder and cancelled a date. I was upset and asked him to come over any way which I know was the wrong thing to do. Then we met on the Wednesday and it all seemed to go wrong. I thought I did not like him any more, drunk too much wine and ignored his advances. Then I thought he did not want to see me any more and I turned needy. I asked him why he wasnt interested. He replied that I was becoming aggro. I apologised and said I would phone him next week. In the meantime I phoned him again and he ignored me. I asked him if he wanted to call it a day and he ignored me. Ive messed up so bad...what can I do to get him to see me again?