Anthony M

Exactly, Lady Bugg. I feel so bad for her daughter. Her father's never there for her and her mother leaves her at home or with relatives while she goes out and party. Her daughter's already starting to have problems. She's doing bad in school, her attitude's changing (she's maturing), and she already has a b/f at age 12! But I look at the traits of my ex's mother and this is what I realized: Ex's mother: Divorced, single, had a kid, works at a bar. Ex: separated from kid's dad, no father figure in her life, single, has a kid, works at a bar. Ex's daughter: No father figure, doing bad in school, has a b/f at age 12. It's just one big circle. Her daughter is tall and beautiful: a reciepe for disaster. See, the only reason why she "wanted me back" was to keep me for "the future". Incase she can't find anyone else she can always settle with me. WRONG! I don't want her because she has to be with me. I wanted her because she wants to be with me, but after all this time - after all these games I'm fed up. I don't want her anymore! She plays more games than her daughter and she's 28!! I have advice for those who want their ex's back but know it would never work: It's better to be alone than with the wrong person!

Will this ever end?? We've been together for 2 years and broken up for a year and a half. She ended it cuz she needed "time". (How much time does she need?!) I did 5 months of solid NC. When I mean NC I mean NC. Not only did I change my #, I changed my license plates as well (they were customized). 5 months go by and the letters started pouring in of how much she wanted me back (4 letters in 1 week at one time). Great! A person couldn't ask for anything more, right? WRONG! She didn't want me back. She wanted to "check up" on me. When she learned I wasn't really with anyone she completely backed off. No letters, calls, texts, etc. Out of the past 4 weeks that we "supposedly" got back together, we only saw each other twice on the weekdays and that was me making the effort. I never got to see her on the weekends because she was always "sick" or "too tired" or god knows how many other excuses she gave me. I later find out she goes out with her friends on the weekends and comes up with an excuse 2 days later of how she would lose her phone or bla bla bla why she couldn't call me. I mean I call this woman, leave her a voicemail but she doesn't call me back. No no no, SHE TEXT's ME BACK 2 DAYS LATER! I mean c'mon! A text message? Seriously... Whatever. I decided I had enough and sent her a text instead of telling her over the phone or in person because she NEVER answers her phone or is NEVER home. I basically told her that this would never work out, we always fight, it's been too long to get back together and that we should see other people and I told her goodbye. She replied an hour later but I didn't bother to read it. I deleted it the second I got it. I'm probably gonna change my # again tomorrow. I'm so sick of this woman and her games. I don't care what she has to say anymore. She's 28 & has a 12 year old daughter (not mine). She wants to play games? Go back to gradeschool. I'm officially done with this woma...GIRL. Why would a person go thru all that work only not to follow thru? She told my friends and everyone and their mothers of how she realized we were soulmates and we were "meant to be". She would even drive past my house everyday at wee hours in the moring to see if I was home because she thought I was with someone else and leave stuff on my car. I felt so decieved and angry that a person after all this time still can't make up her mind and plays games at her age. I mean she has time to check her email, myspace, go out with her friends everyday but she can't call someone back? Especially on the weekends? Grow up! Seriously!! All I know is when I wanted her back I texted her everyday, called her everynight and broke thru every wall so I could spend every minute of my time with her and she showed absolutely NONE of that when she supposedly "wanted me back". Instead all I got were excuses. But I got the altimate game for her. It's called Stay Away From Each Other. Ready? GO!

Tell her to call you when she grows up.

I'm in the same situation: My ex and I after 2 years broke up. For a year I chased her but got no where so I finally had enough and went NC. 5 months into NC I started recieving letters from her of how much she wanted me back. Long story short we got back together 2 weeks ago. In those 2 weeks I've been the one who's been asking to see her. But something hit me: why am I the one doing all the work? She's the one who came running back. She should be the one calling & texting to see me all the time, not me. So I decided to back off and make no effort to see her. If she wants to see me; fine. If she texts me I'll text her back but I will not always initiate contact first. I'm not doing NC, just more like backing off...

After 5 months of absolute strict NC, I received a letter from my ex. I don't know what it said because I didn't open it, instead I mailed it back to her. 2 days later I received another letter but this time instead of mailing it back again I just threw it away, I didn't even read it. 3 days later I received another letter and another one the following days. I didn't read any of them I just kept throwing them away until I got a hold of a friend of mine I haven't talked to in 6 months. I didn't call him to ask about her at all, he's the one who brung her up. I Had no idea they were even talking. Turns out she told him she's been driving past my house at wee hours in the morning looking for my car outside, she would come over when I wasn't home, ring my doorbell and leave stuff on my car. She told him she wants me back and realized it was meant to be. So I gave her the benefit of the doubt and I show up at her door a couple of days later. She was excited to see me and invited me in. I didn't want to stay long because I knew her mom was coming home from work soon and her daughter (not mine) was out playing with her friends and would also be back soon (she's 11). You see, a year ago, she wouldn't let me near her daughter and made sure her mom never saw me during our breakup because she didn't want them asking questions. Whatever, I'm sure she had her reasons... After dinner I stayed a little longer and we went to her room. We talked some more and cuddled. No sex. During the whole time I was there we never talking about actually 'getting back together'. Instead I asked her if she told my friend what she said was true; that she wanted me back and realized it was meant to be. She said it was true but we never really talked about it, so we left it at that and I went home. I must of been there for at least 6 hours. I texted her on my way home 'good night'. She replied the same and now has my #. The weekend was coming and I was waiting for her to see what she would do. Friday came and went. No biggie. Saturday I texted her if she wanted to see a movie and a drink later. 8 hours later still no response. The weekends are the most important days for a 'couple'. People work all weeday and look forward to spending time with their 'one' on the weekends because that's what weekends are all about. I'm not bothered that we didn't do anything on the weekend, what bothers me is she didn't even get back to me. Now if you realized you wanted someone back and know you're that person's soulmate, wouldn't you break down walls to come and see them? Especially on the weekend? I keep telling myself not to make any effort to see her. Let her be the one to try. She knows that I changed my # and I can do it again. I can ignore her for another 5 months if I wanted to but that's just back to playing her games again. She knows I didn't read any of her letters (I told her), so I'm sure she knows I'm not going to play her games any more. What should I do? Is this all in my head?

You really can't put a time stamp on these things, but from numerous posts on this board from other people, the 'Honeymoon' stage (as it's called) lasts anywhere from 4 - 6 months. Like you said the only thing to do is wait this out, but the question is how long have you been waiting?

How old are you guys and how long have you known each other before all of this started?

6'2 @ 180 pounds is considered underweight believe it or not. At 6'2, you should be around 195 - 200.

When he calls you beautifull he's in love with you. When he calls you hot it's an infatuation.

It's better to be alone than with the wrong person.

You tell us. Did you not notice any kind of response from her? Did your phone not blow up that night? Did she not approach you and tried talking to you? Was she looking for you through out the night? If none of that happened when she saw what you described, then she has no feelings for you or just doesn't care any more. If you guys just 'dated' for a couple weeks then I see no reason for her to flip out. If you guys were together for a while then you definitely would of gotten a response.

Make it short and simple. Tell her: "Look, you want me? I'm right here. You don't want me? Adios." If she still can't give you an answer go NC immediately. When NC is broken (which usually happens) mention to her you're 'talking' to someone else. Notice you don't say 'seeing', because that way it sounds more mysterious and that would drive her crazy.

Read this, link removed I followed this program and gained 24 pounds in less than 9 weeks. You have to follow it exactly as it says or your results will not be significant.

Now there's a woman with class. Unless you have another cell phone lying around or your parents dont mind her calling the house at 4 AM all drugged out and waking them up, she can't call you. That all depends if you're still intimate with each other, but everyone has their own term for it whether it being sexually or emotionally. Move on. You're 19! Life has just begun for you!

And I did that for 8 months. In those 8 months I've heard every excuse in the book to blow me off every weekend. In those 8 months we've only spent a total of 5 days together. All she would do was fill my empty heart with hope only to keep draining it everytime it fills up. Not only did I go through Hell, I kept going.

Exactly, that's why I didn't give her my new number. I don't care what happens right now, actually.. If we do get back together it would be great because I learned the experience, but if we don't then that's ok too because I've used all this time to help myself heal. I look 10x's better than I did when we first met and I had a lot of "me time" since our break up to get where I am right now. Yes, I do still love her and I always will. That's not the question. The question is am I in love with her? There's a difference between love and being in love. That's what I need to figure out and only time can tell.

Quick recap - My ex called me today after 62 days of absolute strict NC. It's been so long since I've heard her voice, I didn't even recognize her when she called. She called me from her work while she was on her lunch break. I made sure I kept the conversation short and simple. She asked me what I've been up to and how I was doing. I told her I was doing good and I told her about my new upcoming Job. We didn't talk about us or our break up. I remained calm and made sure to sound extra happy over the phone. We laughed a few times too. The conversation ended in less than 7 mins because I told her I had to go and I would "talk to her later". But get this, I asked her why she called me at work and not my cell. She said she didnt have my new number and my last text's got deleted (62 days ago was my last text). So I sounded kinda sarcastic but in a goofy way and I said, "G, thanks for losing my number, dork." Maybe that explains the emails and not the texts because she always used to text, hardley ever email. I didn't give her my cell number and I don't think I will either. I'm sure she's probably waiting by her phone for me to call or text her my new number.

I threw all my cards on the table 8 months ago, she knows what I want. The question is do I still want it? Well, it's just that it's been almost a year since our break up and I'm just so warn out. The begging, the pleading, the chasing all those months ago. The waiting, the hurt, the pain....I'm so burnt out from all of that. It's like my body & mind has built a tollerance to it now. It's like wearing a bullet proof vest and all the thoughts of her bounce right back off as if I have no care for them any more. A person can only take so much before they let go and that's exactly what I did. I mean, that's what NC is all aboutt; letting go of the hurt and focusing on you. I will not respond. I have to see for myself if it's meant to be. If she doesn't come back then I've used this time to heal and what a wonder it has done.

The thing is I don't know if I want her back... The first month was the hardest (usually is), but after that it got a little easier day after day. I can feel my self healing. She's not the first thing on my mind anymore when I wake up now. If I do respond I'm afraid of losing so much progress. This woman played a lot of games for those 9 months we've been broken up. During those 9 months we would get back together only to break up again a couple of days later. She'd blow me off on the weekends to hang out with her friends and she would burst when she found out I was talking to other girls. A part of me wants her back, but a part of me has started to move on... It's like a tug of war game. Don't get me wrong, I do miss her and I still do think about her sometimes. Maybe it's because she was my first love. I heard you never forget your first. I haven't responded to her and I don't think I will either. I think this was more like a test. She's fishing for a response because she didn't mention the word 'miss', but the way she wrote the email-- it's a sign of missing someone. She's telling me 'I miss you' without the 'miss you' part. Thanks for the responses!

2 months of strict NC and I get an email from the ex today that says, "I just wanted to tell you I think about you everyday." That's it. Any thoughts/suggestions?

Keep the conversation short and simple. Sound like your busy and make sure you hang up first!

LC in school, NC out of school.

Since she knows you're on myspace, all she has to do is go to your profile to check up on you. She'll see your comments, your blogs, etc and she would know what you did last weekend or what you got planned for the week ahead. You will hear from her again.

julie, I think it's time to start dating men. Your ex is still a boy. He needs permission from his roommate to see you?

Just play it cool and continue on with your life. Do NOT call her! She is in the thinking stage right now. This is good.