Anthony M

She doesn't want you right now, but she also doesn't want any other girls to have you. She still believes you're her possession and it drives her crazy knowing that you talk to other girls. She never expected this and it's normal for her to react the way she did. In time she'll start accepting that your life doesn't revolve around hers any more and she'll eventually break. She's starting to think and that's exactly where you want her!

I called it! Keep doing what you're doing. Whatever you do DO NOT CHASE! Let her call you, let her come to you. Continue flirting/talking with other girls on myspace and keep leaving innocent comments under girls' profiles!

Tell him you're both adults and you don't need permission from anyone on who to date, love, or marry. Your lives don't revolve around his family or his friends, they have lives too. I don't think the first thing they think about when they wake up in the morning is the two of you getting back together.

Sounds to me he got jelous of your new guy. You said his tone changed after you mentioned it to him. He's starting to realize what he lost.

Looks certainly help, but I don't rely on it though. I have a saying: If you can make a girl laugh, she's yours. I never really had problems with dating. I've always been relaxed and out going. Although I haven't been on a date in over 2 years, I'm pretty confident I still got it. I didn't considered 'dating' my ex when we were together, I considered it as being 'a couple'. I'm not nervous at all actually. I'm excited. I'm planning on emailing her on Monday. And you're right about guys chasing her at 100 mph, Diablo. Any other guy in Hooters probably would of emailed her the second they got home. I bet she's wondering where my email is (I hope ).

Thanks, Diablo. I'm pretty confident I can get her, I mean I'm not a bad looking guy I've dated girls from Hooters before years ago but I'm not going to mention that to her. I haven't been in the dating scene in almost 3 years. I fell so in love with my ex I almost forgot what dating was like. I'll keep my email nice and short like you said. I'll wait until after New Years to email her. I haven't been to Hooters in almost a year (right by my house) so It's not like I go there and stalk the waitresses and everybody knows me, lol.. We were sitting right next to their work station where they fill out orders and at times there would be a bunch of them just standing there talking. Most of them were glimpsing over at our table. They saw us when we were exchanging information so I bet they were asking her after I left. You know, girls..drama..they love that stuff. About the tip, yea I guess it was a little too much but I remember one of the waitresses I dated from there always talked about how much her biggest tip was so I guess that's good.. I guess no harm was done there. I always had a moto in my head when I was single: Never Chase Always Replace. I gotta get back in my game.

After about 7 months of pure hell (broke up with my ex after 2 years), I decided to go out with my brother to Hooters for a beer. Our waitress was beautiful (of course..). We started talking and found out that we went to the same grammer school, used to live by each other and go to the same college. She's going to take some classes that I had last year and I told her I can recommend her some good teachers that are pretty easy and shouldn't have a hard time passing at all. I know Hooters waitresses get hit on a lot and I even asked her and she said it's part of the job and she doesn't mind it. We were hitting it off pretty good. She would come back as much as she could to talk to us (mostly me because my brother's married), and whenever they called her name for an order, she'd go serve it and quickly run back to our table after she was done. This went on for a little bit over an hour. After about 2 pichers of beer, I asked her if she ever wanted to hang out sometime. I told her, "I know you get this a lot and I'm not trying to be like any other guy in here, but since we have a lot in common, would you like to go out sometime?" Before I asked her, she said when guys ask for her number she writes down the store's number on the reciept. I just turned off my phone because I wasn't happy with the service and I'm currently looking for a new one. She said to give her mine because she doesn't like giving out hers especially where she works and she gets hit on everyday. I told her I don't have a phone so I gave her my email address. I asked for hers and she wrote it down on a napkin. She said she checks it everyday. I don't usually pick up girls that work in environments that get asked out a lot (bars, clubs, etc), but I felt confident that I had a chance and with the feedback I was getting from her. This was lastnight and I told her that I'll stop by again sometime this week to come visit her. I haven't emailed her yet and was thinking about emailing her later tonight or tomorrow asking her what her work schedule is so I can come visit her for a drink. What do you think? Too early? Should I wait a little while longer before I email her? I got her email so it's better than nothing I guess.. Hey, it's a start, right? I'm 25, she's 21 and has her own house. Wow! I also left her a $25.00 tip

Did you not learn from Thanksgiving? I'll bet you all the money in the world that she's expecting you to do something on her bday. Anything from a card, a text, or even a phone call to wish her a happy bday.

Whatever you do don't talk about the ex! Don't drown her in your sorrows! Other than that be your self.

If you really want your ex to know, email one of her close friends or even mention it to them about myspace. Tell them you have a profile and would like to invite them as your friend (they never say no). But don't do it now! Wait until you have enough comments and at least a month go by.

Of course! Start now so by the time your ex sees your profile she'll notice the dates left under your comments. The dates are very important because she'll know why you never called, texted, or emailed all this time. She'll start to think that all this time you've been busy with your social life and that's exactly what you want her to do is think think think! Leave innocent comments like, "Hey sweetie! Thanks for the add! Talk to you soon!" And they will do the same. In no time you'll get the hang of myspace. As for the bar question: your problem is when you go out you expect to meet girls. What you should do is go out and don't even think about meeting girls. If that's the only reason you go out to bars is to meet girls then you won't and you'll be frusturated the entire night. The objective is to go out and have fun with no expectations!

Bummer. I had the impression that she did.... You never know she might. I found out my ex had one months before our breakup and she never told me, in fact I never knew about myspace. Find out from her friends if she has one. Do not ask her herself or it will be too obvious! Either way you still want her to see your profile but don't tell her about it. Let her find out by friends or even on her own.

myspace is a meat market, you can use it to your advantage. Click on browse and do a zip code filter search for any females around your area and start inviting them as friends. Keep doing it until you get enough friends and pretty soon you'll get the hang of it. Hell, I even found friends I haven't seen in years on myspace so you never know who you'll meet! When you get enough friends and have enough comments, invite her as a friend. She'll be shocked once she sees your profile.

By letting them go. Take down any pictures of her on your myspace profile and change your status to single. You do not want her to think that your world revolves around her. Also, flirt with other girls on myspace and leave innocent little comments and let them do the same. If you are close with any female friends on myspace start hanging around with them. In fact next time you go out bring a camera and put on a happy face and take pictures with friends and put them on your profile. Once she sees your new pictures and sees you're having a great time without her, she'll start to think and that's exactly what you want her to do. She could even get jelous too and that wouldn't hurt one bit.

Dogg, you did everything you could to get her back. Now show her you love her by letting her go. If she doesn't come back then you know it wasn't meant to be. If she misses you she will break down walls to come see you. If she loves you she would do everything you did x's 10 to get you back. Love always finds a way.

You'll be waiting by the phone all day now. You broke NC, so back to day 1.

But it's ok for her to dump you while she watches your life crumble in front of her when you cry and beg for her to take you back and she does nothing about it? C'mon man.... NC!!!!

Silence is golden.

For those of you who haven't read my letter from the ex thread, I've been chasing my ex for over 5 months and I decided to do NC 3 weeks ago. Well it worked, but not after I put my foot down and told her I was done with her. She waited for 3 days to see if I would call my bluff and she realized I didn't and that's when she came crying back to me. We talked for hours about how I was serious about me moving on and was tired of her games. I told her if I can ignore you for 3 weeks imagine a lifetime. But I'm being cautious. I will not get hurt again. I told her I need time to heal and not to expect anything from each other right now other than building our relationship back up first. We're taking things slow. All I can say is that it's true, NC really works! Yes it was difficult not to answer to her calls, texts and letter(s) but you have to learn patience!

Update: Yesterday was 3 weeks of NC until this morning. I didn't notice my phone ring until I looked at it and it said missed call. I checked and it was her, she called me from her work. She left a voicemail saying she wanted to talk to me. I called her back a half hour later and she sounded surprised over the phone. She was all smiles and giggles and was happy to hear my voice for the first time in over 3 weeks. She asked me how I was and what I've been doing. After about a minute of that I asked her what the real reason was for calling me. We started talking about us and the letter. I told her what she should of done was come to my house, ring my door bell and slap in the face instead because that was what her letter was: a slap in the face. She said she never intdended it to be like that and bla bla bla. I told her that there was nothing new in the letter from what she's been telling me back in June and how all she talked about was the past and the future and not the present. I told her how can we be happy in the future if we don't have anything now? She replied by saying, "what, you're telling me we have nothing now?" Of course not! I asked her if she's happy and she said no. I said how are you supposed to be happy in the future if you're not happy now? She paused.. The conversation lasted about 6 mins until I hung up on her. I got so fed up with her bull**it I couldn't take it any more. I told her I wasted 5 months of my life for nothing only for her to tell me to wait for her. She came back with the, "If you were my soulmate you would wait for me, that's what true love is" line. Wrong!! Her going out with her friends to clubs every weekend for the past 5 months while I sit at home and wait for her is true love? Her going out and having the time of her life to get her life together while mine falls apart is true love? At that point I had enough and right before I hung up on her I told her, "I'm done" everytime she tried to talk over me. 20 secs later I get a text saying, "For the first time you showed me our love was never true. Sorry I wasted 2 years of your life." I text her back, "Have a nice life." She replied, "Like I said our love was never true." I didn't responde to her. She expected our conversation to go nice and smooth and probably ask me to go out sometime or whatever, but I put my foot down. Does she think going for coffee would fix everything or something? I'm not mad at all for breaking NC, actually I feel pretty good because I had the last word. I basically told her I don't need her in my life any more and I refuse to "wait" any longer. Now I sit back and see how long it takes for it to hit her, the fun part. She did state in her letter that she was afraid of losing me. Any predictions?

I think it's smart to tell them that you're going to do NC because the other person will think you're bluffing. When 2, 3, 4 weeks go by they'll think twice and start panicking.

Been doing a lot of thinking... Why are we here? Because at some point in our lives we've been hurt whether you caused the breakup or not. The bottom line is we're here to get our ex's back, right?! I've spent 5 months of my life begging, chasing, pleading to my ex to come back. For what?! Next month will be 6 months. 6 months is half a year! People get cancer and die in 3 months and here we are waiting. Yes, people make mistakes. We give our loved ones space and time to heal. I gave my ex a week, 2 weeks, hell even a month! But 5 months? 5 months for her to give me a decision and she still hasn't?! In 5 months you can finish a semester in school and be one step closer to that degree you're aiming for. In 5 months people get married. In 5 months you can be a doctor who discovers a cure for cancer. Do you see where I'm getting at? It can be 1 month, 5 months, a year. Why are we waiting? 3 weeks ago I would never of thought of NC because my fear of losing her but since I started NC it's starting to show me what kind of person my ex is. She's starting to show her true colors I've never seen before. Her text messages of how much she misses me and wants go out and do this and do that, but gives me NO indication of ever getting back together now but talks about how happy we will be in the future. How does that work? I ask my self if this is someone I want to be with for the rest of my life. It's been 19 days and I've felt like I've wasted 5 months of my life only to keep waiting. At the end it all comes down to you, not them. It's what you want. Do you want to wait around for weeks, months, years for them to come back? Here's what I think: If they love you they would be with you. If they miss you they would fight to see you. There is no if's, and's or but's about it.

You just got your answer. Why are you even wasting your time??

She sent me a text this morning wanting to know if we can go to the movies this weekend. This isn't exactly what I'm looking for. I'm still in NC. Sunday will be 3 weeks.