Steven Robinson

It can be very easy to end up resenting someone when you are constantly being taken for granted and put second. There may come a time in relationships of any kind–whether familial, romantic, or platonic–where one person may begin to feel as if they are not being valued or respected, and resentment can quickly set in. Learning how to recognise when you’re putting others first to your own detriment and how to give yourself permission to prioritise your own needs is an essential relationship skill. Too often, we stay put in relationships where we are stuck in an unhealthy pattern. We keep going without realising that this unhealthy pattern is slowly eroding away at our own self-worth and happiness. The deeper we get into the cycle, the more we risk compromising our joy and peace. When our reservoirs of patience and compassion break, all we have left is destabilising resentment that keeps us from reaching true feelings of trust and acceptance. This attitude of self-sacrifice and martyrdom may stem from a place of wanting to please, to show loyalty and love or to offer unconditional support. It’s perfectly alright to want to show someone that they are cared for, but it’s also important to move away from the subconscious need to please and ‘prove’ oneself, or to receive appreciation or validation. This is synonymous with putting yourself in prison; bashing yourself against the wall until you are drained physically, mentally and emotionally. The process of letting go of the resentment and putting yourself first starts by recognising that there is an imbalance and making the conscious decision to adjust through action. You must learn to identify what “putting yourself first” means to you and learn to enforce this boundary without guilt. Along the way, you will find yourself saying ‘no’ to requests that you do not wish to take on and learning how to express yourself effectively. Part of effective communication is also about self-expression. For a relationship to be healthy, you must be able to discuss difficult subjects openly and with respect. Open communication prevents misunderstandings, frustration, and gives both parties the chance to find resolution. Open communication can start with simply expressing your truth in an assertive, non-confrontational way. Doing this encourages the other person to also share without fear of judgement and negative responses. Be mindful of the way internal dialogue affects the self. Our emotional and mental health is often affected by negative self-talk and self-criticism, both of which can lead to a distorted sense of perspective in life. Positive affirmations are helpful, such as reminding yourself that you are worthy and that boundaries can be established out of love, not just for yourself, but for all relationships involved. Sometimes, boundaries are of little use without having implemented some sort of self-care practice. This could be anything from taking a walk outdoors and appreciating nature, treating yourself to minor luxuries, quitting bad habits such as smoking or playing computer games excessively and reducing your caffeine intake. A good way to kick-start a self-care plan is to write down a comprehensive list of all the things that bring you joy and make an effort to include those activities in your day-to-day life. Putting yourself first is not selfish–it’s necessary. Prioritising your mental, physical and emotional well-being will allow you to find balance, cultivate joy and foster healthier relationships in the long run. Allowing yourself time and resources to fill your reservoir of psychological and emotional resilience is essential to understanding and implementing boundaries in relationships that make you feel fulfilled and satisfied.

Falling for someone can be exciting, but if you discover that your crush is taken, it’s a difficult truth to accept. You can find yourself stuck between feeling heartbroken and being loyal to your friend. Suddenly the situation has become complicated, and you may start feeling overwhelmed and confused about how to proceed. We know how hard it can be to face so much emotional turmoil without the proper guidance. If you’re struggling to reconcile your feelings with reality, here are some steps to help you maneuver through this tricky situation: 1. Acknowledge Your Feelings It’s important that, first and foremost, you give yourself time and space to process your emotions in whatever way works best for you. Whether that means crying it out or talking to a close friend - it’s okay to feel your emotions fully. Just keep in mind that although it’s valid to allow yourself to grieve your loss, don’t become stuck in a pit of despair or ruminate on what could have been. 2. Accept Reality This might be one of the hardest things to come to terms with because we often want to hold onto hope - but recognizing the truth and accepting the current state of affairs is a key step in working through this difficult situation. 3. Seek Support If you’re feeling down and don’t know where to go, consider talking to a trusted friend, therapist, or counselor. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with another soul can make all the difference in helping you heal and move forward. 4. Secure Boundaries Now that you’ve accepted reality and spoken to someone about it, it's crucialto consider how your relationship will look moving forward. Are you willing to stay friends with them both?protecting your own emotional boundaries is essential to your wellbeing, it's important to set limits and take stock of your boundaries. 5. Build Her Up Loving someone while they’re in a relationship can be agonizing and downright heartbreaking. But if you can muster the courage to genuinely love and support your crush and their partner, you’ll be able to find solace in the fact that you did the right thing. And by cheering them on, you will be able to send out good vibes into the universe. When faced with such a complex situation, it's easy to be overwhelmed and give in to despair. But in order to get through it, remind yourself of why you chose to let go to begin with - because you recognize the worth in these people and want to lift them up in the best way possible. the best way to express your love for them is by allowing them to live their own lives as best as they can and fully embracing their decisions.

That magical moment when you feel like she is interested in you can create all sorts of uncertainty. What if you make the wrong move or say the wrong thing? Suddenly all that nervousness makes it hard to act on those hints, no matter how obvious they may seem. Maybe she stares at you, makes comments here and there, or is extra flirty with you. All of these things are signs that she might be into you, but how can you be certain? Sometimes, just paying attention to the little things that a woman does can give you some clarity on whether or not she is interested. Everything from body language to her interactions with you can be telling. Read on for some things to keep an eye out for, and learn more about what to do when she gives you hints that she wants you to ask her out. Understanding Body Language It's not always easy to determine whether or not someone is interested in you by just looking at them. Even if she seems to be making eye contact, holding your glance for a few seconds too long, or blushing when you catch her attention, this isn't always indicative of romantic interest. But if you take notice of other body language cues, it can help to reveal where her heart lies. Look out for physical cues such as her stance, her position when she talks with you, and any leaning towards you. If a woman is interested in you, she’ll probably lean forward into the conversation and be closer to conversation without actually crossing any lines. Other body language cues include tilting her head to the side, laughing or smiling when you speak, and gently touching your arm during conversation. These kinds of ties allude to intimacy, and show that she would like to be closer to you. Recognizing Her Feelings Besides analyzing body language, another way to tell if a woman is interested in you is to take note of when she shows up around you. If she appears ‘out of the blue’ when you haven't pre-arranged the meeting, or if her presence becomes habitual, this is usually a good indication of her feelings. It’s also worth noting how she speaks to you. Is she attentive, responsive and eager to hear what you have to say? Does she ask questions about you and your life? Does she casually mention future plans? All of these are examples of flirting, and can give you a good indication that she’s interested in taking the next step. Be aware of your interactions and take note of any intimate details she brings into the conversations. Handling Discomfort She may very well be sending you signals, but it could be that you’re not confident enough to act. If asking someone out already scares you, it will be even worse if you don’t know for sure if the person actually reciprocates your feelings. The best thing to do in this situation is to stay calm and think through your options. It’s also important to remain honest and considerate. A good way to ‘test the waters’ is to invite her out in a group setting. This gives her space to provide subtle clues to her interest without forcing her to make an awkward move. In any case, try not to put too much pressure on yourself and your potential date, as picking up on love interests is a delicate art. Accurately gauging someone else’s feelings can be tricky. Fortunately, with a bit of attention and patience, anyone can better understand what the person they’re interested in is trying to tell them. Paying close attention to subtle signs and hints can give you the best idea of what someone else is feeling. Sometimes, all it takes is a few observations to realize that the person is interested in you as much as you are interested in them. Just remember to remain kind, patient and understanding in all your behaviours. Take your time and when you’re confident enough to make a move, act swiftly - you don’t want the opportunity to slip away from you!

The pain of the end of a first love is hard to forget. The void that they once filled in contrast to their absence can create a cavernous hole in the heart; you alone must come to terms with, allowing yourself to accept the fact that your relationship has ended. The process of grieving a broken heart can be explored through many lanes. Physically, you may feel sapped of energy and disconnected from who you were prior to the experience. Emotionally, you may find yourself understanding the depths of your sorrow for the first time, overwhelmed by such a complex mix of sadness, anger, betrayal and loneliness. Or spiritually, you may find yourself attempting to make sense of the situation and grow through it, while also feeling purposeless and uncertain where to go next. Though all these feelings are natural, they can prevent us from moving on. To alleviate this, it is important at the first stages of a healing journey to go easy on oneself. Instead of attempting to fully understand the situation, focus on the immediate needs such as resting and adapting a healthy lifestyle, both body and mind. Take the time to learn how to best care for yourself when feeling low, turning to creative outlets like writing or music to free your feelings, or finding support in friends and family and talking openly about your loss. As the days move on, gradually try to look into why this experience might have happened in the first place, reminding yourself of all the lessons you learned from it and the new paths it might open up if you let it. It is important to honour the emotions pulsing through your veins, and not shut them away for later. Knowing there is no set timeline for processing our grief, we can be kind with ourselves and take all the necessary time required to examine our thoughts and immerse into our feelings. With healing comes progress, and progress leads to growth. Facing your own loneliness often allows for understanding and full acknowledgement of your vulnerability, and in accepting the fact that emotions which derive from love – both good and bad – will be felt and experienced differently. Rather than tearing yourself down for past mistakes, practice self-compassion, be mindful of your shortcomings and embrace them to gain more insight into your inner character. Investing in self-care while understanding it is not something that happens overnight, will help in learning how to stay young at heart, open and resilient. Nourishing yourself in healthier habits and slowly setting aside boundaries between how you allow others to treat you, will slowly transform you into a more secure version of yourself. By setting standards that protect your boundaries, you give yourself the opportunity to see your body, heart and mind as yours and yours alone, and begin to build a relationship with yourself that honours who you really are. What matters most is respecting yourself, understanding the importance of self-love, and being conscious of the impact external factors have on us. Looking forward, view the present trends in your behaviour while taking a step back to reflect on the growth you’re experiencing during this transition. Yes, it is possible to live with a broken heart. But by learning to accept, heal and grow in spite of our deep wounds, we have a chance at improving the foundations of happiness for our future.

It can feel like an uphill battle sometimes when it comes to building confidence in yourself, since life has a way of tripping us up and making us feel small and or lost in all its intricacies. Whether it’s due to anxiety from a big personal project, self-consciousness in social situations, or feeling overwhelmed by life in general, it happens to everyone at some point. But even though these moments of uncertainty can feel like an eternity, it’s important to remember that your experiences don’t have to define you if you don’t let them. There are countless ways to build your confidence, and this doesn’t mean that you suddenly become a different person overnight. The key is taking things slow and taking the time to really focus on the steps necessary to reclaim your emotional wellbeing. The first step is being honest with yourself. Even if you’re a master of presenting yourself as confident to the world, there may be parts of your identity you hide due to fear of being judged or not accepted. This can only hurt your own view of yourself, so don’t be afraid to be proud of who you are. Everyone has qualities that make them unique, and accepting yourself for who you are can be incredibly liberating and empowering. The second step is paying attention to your body language. Even if you don’t feel confident, portraying an outward air of assertiveness can help you gain confidence as you act confident. We tend to savor accomplishments much more when we’ve worked for them, so make sure you take the time to encourage yourself and express pride after completing your goals. The third step is setting boundaries. This can be difficult if your default mode has always been to conform to those around you and put yourself last on the list, but be mindful of when you’re allowing other people’s expectations to dictate your actions. Establishing healthy boundaries will help you build a sense of control and have a powerful impact on your self-esteem. The fourth step is learning to say ‘no’. Don’t be afraid to turn down opportunities that don’t align with your values and goals. Asserting yourself and choosing your own path gives you a greater sense of ownership and responsibility in your life, which helps to boost your confidence. The fifth and final step is learning from your mistakes. Everyone fails at one point or another, but the great thing about failure is that it gives you an opportunity to learn and grow. Resilience is an important part of rising up from difficult moments, and it’s important to reach out to those around you in times of need. No matter where you find yourself right now, these steps can help you begin to reclaim your confidence and fill your life with a renewed sense of purpose and direction. Little by little, these steps will help reshape your perspective and reinforce your belief in your capability to create a better future. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

It's one of the worst feelings in the world to feel lost. As if nothing in life makes sense, and you have nothing left to grab onto in order to move forward. Like walking off a pier into the deep, dark unknown – a feeling of isolation and utter disorientation that can render you helpless and angry at the world at the same time. It's one thing to lose your footing momentarily, or to wander away from the path you thought you were on. Everyone has experienced moments of confusion. But it's quite another to find yourself adrift; to feel alone and without purpose, without the means or will to change anything about the situation. When everything else fails, what is one to do when they feel so lost that their dreams, ambitions and hopes seem just out of reach? How do you even get started, when confusion clouds your mind and leaves you unable to navigate your own course? The answer might not be as daunting as it seems. While it's impossible to brush away all of the fears and doubts that loom over us during these times, there are ways to create a plan of action that can help you find your way back onto a more stable path. One key part of this is to figure out where you want to go, even if it feels distant and unimaginable. What is the feeling you want the end result to bring? Ask yourself this simple question – what do I want to feel? Focusing on the positive emotions that you desire when this journey is complete can provide focus and mindset necessary for success. This can be a long process – especially as many of our fears and insecurities hide deep down below the surface. But by coming up with an emotionally focused goal, you can begin to build the momentum you need to stay the course and keep pushing through the fog of confusion. As this practice begins to become easier and more instinctive, you can start to pair it with actions and real steps you can take to reach those goals. This is an important step, as it helps bridge the gap between the dream and reality. By returning again and again to your core intention, and allowing it to inform your decisions, you can begin to inch closer and closer to successfully navigating unknown waters and achieving a sense of peace and clarity. Sometimes good navigation requires more than simply asking questions and setting intentions. Breaking tasks into smaller chunks can be a powerful tool, since too much ambiguity can be overwhelming. Creating an action plan (with realistic tasks) not only helps to break the process of finding your way into something more manageable but allows you to build momentum and reward yourself along the way. When our fear of failure and negative judgement become roadblocks, it can be helpful to return to the basics – like taking inventory of your current resources, skills, and strengths. Reflecting on successes of the past can often help boost motivation and helps to create a permanent habit of confidence and trust in your decision making. Only you know what will work best for you, so start small and take the time to go inward. This self-reflection and the related actions can help restore the balance and give you access to the clarity you've been seeking. Even if it feels like it is going to take forever, remembering that each inch of progress brings you closer to ending up exactly where you want to be can help you keep moving forward. So while there is no guaranteed method to achieving a sense of direction, by following the inner guidance you do have and trusting in yourself, you can make an effort to steady the ship, create a plan of action, and eventually find your way back to shore – whatever shore that may be.

It’s a truly disheartening feeling, when emotions of envy and jealousy hold us back from living our best lives. We all have felt that heavy clench in our stomach as we stare at someone seemingly living out their dream life, wondering why that isn’t us instead. It can be truly discouraging. But the important thing to remember is that jealousy does not have to consume you; it does not have to drag you down into an abyss of darkness and despair. This exact situation was the one presented by the user who posted previously – they felt so intensely jealous of another person, but with clear valid reason. They were struggling to make sense of their emotions, not knowing what to do to reclaim their happiness. We want to remind everyone going through this situation that having feelings of envy and anger is completely normal. It’s human nature to compare ourselves to others, look at what they are doing and feeling inferior. But it is possible to reframe these thoughts and put things in perspective, in order to find contentment within ourselves. It takes time and practice, but it is possible. An important realization to come to is that a large portion of what we perceive to be others “success or happiness” is highly subjective. As the old saying goes, “what’s good for the goose is not always good for the gander”. Everyone has different values, different dreams and different paths available to them. Try to remember this during any moments of extreme jealousy, and that others’ success or current life situation may not appeal to you at all, if you took the time to learn all of the details. In addition, try to take a step back and objectively compare yourself to the other person. Remind yourself of all that you achieved, your strengths and all of the positive experiences you have had in life. Understanding your own successful moments, even in contrast to somebody else’s great things, can help to encourage you and bring back the happiness you were missing. On top of being your personal cheerleader, try to look for other ways to engage in activities and interests that will bring joy in your life, and will give you that sense of accomplishment and pride that you need. For example, if you are jealous of someone’s finances, focus on ways to save up money and create financial stability for yourself, and reminisce on the feelings of success when that goal is reached. Another important piece of advice is to nip the unhealthy comparison in the bud. Face those negative thoughts head-on and challenge the thoughts which come to the surface. Reframe those intense feelings of inadequacy, and try to move towards equanimity and balance. Please understand that yourself and the other are two separate individuals, both equally capable and talented, yet also profoundly different. Having feelings of jealousy is normal and understandable. You should take the time to experiment and figure out the best ways to reclaim your happiness, whatever these may look like on an individual level. And although it can be easier said than done, it’s important to realize that these two people are different, and should be treated with respect accordingly.

Break ups are hard. They hit us in our self-esteem, knocking us down to the ground, feeling inadequate and broken. It's even worse when you had been in an emotionally abusive relationship, as the ex thought you weren't strong enough or good enough for them, never to change. In these situations, it is normal to feel insecure and hurt. But, with time and effort, you can pick yourself up, rebuild your self-esteem and come out stronger than ever before. When a relationship ends, we often assign blame to ourselves. We second guess every decision and interaction, looking back on the past with regret and heartache. However, it is important to remember that you are not the only person going through this. Reflecting on the failed relationship and learning from it is a healthier option than fixating on the trauma. The first step is to shift your thoughts. Instead of focusing on the pain and negative things your ex said or did, think about the traits and qualities that make you special. Recall moments that made you feel happy, important, or secure. You need to be honest with yourself; when someone says you are too weak and will never change, it is okay to acknowledge that these words have an effect on you. Recognize the hurt and disappointment for what it is, without wallowing in the sorrow. Following this, it is essential to recharge your primary relationships. You need to be around people who you know will have a positive impact and make you laugh. King Solomon said “Two people are better than one; they get more done by working together” (Ecclesiastes 4:9). When it comes to healing, having strong bonds of friendship and support is invaluable. Surrounding yourself with people who can encourage and uplift you will give you perspective and strength. To further rebuild self-esteem, practice acts of self-love. This could include engaging in physical activity, taking a new class, or simply pampering yourself. The more you love and respect yourself, the better you will feel. This is how you prove to others that you are much more than they thought. It also helps you restore faith in yourself, as you realize that your capabilities and worth are not determined by anyone else, especially that toxic ex. Speaking of capability, if you set goals for yourself and accomplish them, it will increase your confidence and worth. Determine activities to do, with challenging yet achievable targets, and focus on completing them. Not only will this help you establish better habits, but it will also increase your self-belief. For example, if you wanted to try something new, such as painting classes, aim to commit high amounts of dedication and attention given to every class or session. Seeing the progress of your artwork will be both encouraging and inspiring.. As you progress with each step above, it may also be helpful to write out a list of your optimistic traits, values, and goals. Rewriting truths, such as “I am capable” or “I will engage in positive actions” is important for keeping positive affirmations in your mind. Finally, the best way to heal after a break up is to forgive the person who hurt you. Accept and allow yourself to recognize the damage they caused, but then move past it. Some face this process by writing a letter to the ex, where they express their heart and disappointment, but then finish with forgiveness. Doing this can be incredibly freeing; it symbolizes the closure of the situation and allows you to start anew. Rebuilding your self-esteem after a break up is not easy. It requires both hard work and dedication. Yet, even when it may seem like an uphill battle, remember you have the ability to overcome, to rebuild from the ashes and come out stronger than ever.

Falling in love with your friend is a vulnerable situation. After all, friends know us best and, due to the level of comfort established between you both, the relationship can slide into a more intimate direction with ease. But boiling emotions can cause anxiety and lead to burning questions like “what if I get hurt?”. Your heart feels courageous and free and scared all at the same time – it’s a wild ride with no clear destination in sight. The truth is, you can't predict what will happen when romantic feelings blossom between two people. Unfortunately, there's no accurate guidebook for navigating this frequent, confusing human experience. Wonder, second-guessing and uncertainty are normal – yet difficult to handle – emotions. It can be tempting to avoid taking a risk out of fear of getting hurt, but that would leave you in an even worse position. By waiting, by clinging to the fear, you are inadvertently limiting the chances of connecting deep with someone and instead throwing yourself closer to loneliness and emptiness. One way to cope with the feelings generated by this overwhelming situation is to go inward and pay attention to the conversations you have with yourself. It’s important to recognize how your thoughts shape your reality. Many of us are trapped in unhealthy mental loops set to pessimism mode and reticent to positive change. Consequently, the longer we entertain these toxic beliefs, the weaker our decision-making capacity becomes. When we take the time to analyze and evaluate our inner dialogue, however, we can create alternative perspectives and make better decisions. Even though it can be hard, don’t be afraid to challenge yourself by asking tough questions, such as “How can I turn this situation into a positive transformative experience for myself?”. It also helps to remember that, although humans rely deeply on relationships and connections with others, our identities should not depend solely on them. The relationships we establish can provide valuable warmth, understanding and comfort; however, it's important to remain true to ourselves and keep our sense of self intact. There’s nothing wrong with relying on people to help us make sense of things or shoulder the burden of sadness when necessary, but it's equally important to accept full responsibility for the person we become in the process. Furthermore, focusing on building tenderness toward yourself—rather than for someone else—is essential. Deepening personal relationships can offer a sense of belonging and connection, which helps in facing life’s struggles with courage and resilience. To achieve this we must be patient with ourselves and eager to forgive mistakes, as no one is perfect. Nurturing self-compassion can help you move forward as you undertake the challenge of accepting who you are and where you are right now. Self-love has the same base of compassion that we extend to our loved ones, but its soil needs to be tended to daily and nurtured through various paths of learning, practicing and discovering the many aspects that characterize us as unique individuals. Falling in love with a friend can be a powerful journey full of highs and lows. At times, it can feel like riding a rollercoaster. Fear and anxiety can stop you from embracing the adventure and trusting that everything will fall into place as it should. Allowing yourself to consider the possibility of something new, allowing yourself to take risks, allowing yourself to be vulnerable in order to fill the emptiness–this is the key to healing. It comes down to deciding what kind of joy you want in your life. Taking blind leaps of love with someone you care about may hurt; it may also bring beautiful and meaningful moments. Authenticity and growth come from living with an open heart, but only if you are willing to push back the dark veil of fear to see what lies beyond. ---

The moment we feel our relationships are at risk, it's not uncommon to succumb to jealousy. It's like a reflex gain, an abiding instinct of self-protection at the hint of a possible danger. Since no one wants to be left vulnerable and unprotected, once this strong emotion is triggered the natural tendency for most is to nurture the feeling and hold on tight. Often it's precisely that holding on too tight that does the most damage i.e. pushing away our beloved. Jealousy can take many forms and have varying degrees of intensity, from casually squashing of certain doubts to being driven by uncontrollable rage or insecurities. The feeling of doubt and anxiety about losing a partner due to potential betrayal or infidelity can lead to a range of obsessive behaviors such as obsessing over our partner's moves - where they go, who they see, when they come back etc. Such doubt and fear can push us into self-destructive patterns like controlling and manipulating behavior. The more we give into those urges, the more our partner will be pushed away and the less they will trust us. So how do we break the cycle of jealousy without letting its power creep up on us yet again? The first step is learning to identify when these feelings start to emerge. If you recognize its familiar fixations every single time, it will be much easier to put up effective measures to curtail its effects. When we recognize its signs it's much simpler to analyze and examine why we are feeling so insecure, uneasy or threatened. Once we understand the root cause of our anxieties, the patterns could be broken by coming up with strategies and tactics to counter the obsessive thoughts – to replace those stressful worries with something positive instead. Coming from the angle that we’re not challenging our partner’s trustworthiness but rather trying to build trust and overcome our own insecurities, we could focus on strengthening the foundations of our relationship and actively working on building a foundation of mutual respect and understanding. Whenever possible, also prioritize self-care and try to relax, recharge and rejuvenate through self-nurturing practices. This can make it easier to deploy psychological tools to adjust our own personal approach and attitude towards relationships. Learning to become more mindful and tap into our emotional intelligence can also be a great help in tackling jealousy. Cultivating acceptance and appreciation of ourselves can give us the confidence to reach out to our partner and spend quality time with them while leaning in to being more trusting and embracing open dialogues. Applying mindfulness techniques to relieve stress and anxieties can also prove highly useful in training ourselves to override the jealousy triggers whenever they appear. Finally, if one feels overwhelmed and unable to control their jealous thoughts or irrational behaviors, enlisting the help of a certified mental health practitioner can be extremely beneficial. It’s never too late to benefit from outside perspectives and professional advice in order to learn appropriate coping mechanisms which can help us regain strength and stability within our relationships. Pushing away our partners or loved ones due to our jealous behaviors is a destructive pattern that should be avoided. By recognizing the signs, understanding the root causes of our doubts and anxieties, seeking help from professionals when needed, along with appreciating, accepting and valuing ourselves, we can address our jealous feelings and ultimately strengthen our relationship by building bridges of mutual trust and respect.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if there was a secret recipe for true love? If a few careful measurements of affection and communication followed by a sprinkle of trust and topped off with kindness made for eternal happiness? Unfortunately, that kind of recipe is far more fantasy than reality. Love is complicated and rarely do we get things right on the first try. With that in mind, let's address the situation. You like someone and you want to squeeze the last bit of courage out of your mind so that you can make the first move. Before we look into handling your anxiety and nerves, let’s take a look at why you feel scared in the first place. Feelings of insecurity often leave us feeling uncertain or scared in a relationship. The unknowns associated with this new relationship overwhelm us. You might be worried they won’t feel the same way, or you might question the future of this relationship. It can be scary to bare your soul to someone, even when those feelings are reciprocated. But if you feel like you just can't express yourself, then this vulnerability can feel even harder to achieve. We sometimes fear being judged or rejected and being vulnerable makes us feel emotionally exposed. All these worries can cause huge amounts of inner turmoil, much of which are unfounded because of our previous experiences and expectations. But how do you overcome these obstacles? It’s important to recognize your feelings and be conscious that they arise from something external. Ask yourself, what exactly is making me feel this way? It could be insecurity, self-doubt, or even previous bad experiences. Acknowledge them and accept them before moving forward. Once you have identified the reason for your nerves, you will have a much clearer picture of what inner work you need to do. It’s possible that talking to someone who understands the kind of experience you have gone through can help regain perspective and create healthy boundaries. As you take steps to tackle the issue head-on, it’s essential to understand that your own expectations are an important factor too. Perceiving love as a universal guarantee for happiness is only going to lead to disappointment if other elements aren’t also present. Being able to communicate without fear, relying on each other and continuing long-term development — all this makes up the basis of a healthy relationship. No one is naturally inclined to embark on a something difficult and new, especially when emotions play a significant part. One strategy to improve your emotional wellbeing and take that leap is to focus on building self-esteem. Make sure you approach this relationship with realistic expectations, as well as with an understanding that what works for another couple may not work for you. Of course, communication is key — it is absolutely fundamental. Not only how and when you communicate but also what you communicate to the person you like. Use conversational nonverbals such as listening, making eye contact and expressing empathy. Speak from a space of understanding and compassion, and be honest about your intentions. If the other person is feeling the same way, then chances are your honesty will be appreciated. If and when you find the courage to take a step forward, remember that rejection isn’t all-encompassing. Rejection is part of life and it is all about taking the risk and putting yourself out there. Rejection from someone else does not reinvent you as a shameful, unwanted person. Human beings are made to make mistakes, it’s a given. While it stings, keep in mind that you are enough the way you are, and that everyone is worthy of love and respect. And if it doesn't work out, it will make way for something better. The beautiful thing about taking risks in the name of love is that post-risk, no matter what the result, you don’t stay scared. You come out stronger, braver, wiser, with a newfound sense of self-confidence that knows no bounds. So take that leap, even if it means going against all of your anxiety-driven thoughts. The rewards of doing so may just surprise you.

It is common to be confused about the differences between love and lust. When you have a strong feeling for someone, it is natural to be preoccupied with understanding where that attraction stems from— Is it love or is it lust? Love and lust are both strong emotions, but to complicate matters, they often go hand in hand. Despite having aspects which make them very different, it is possible for someone to experience both simultaneously. So, how do you decipher if the proximity to someone is due to love or simply physical desires? Lust is generally based on physical attraction and the hormones that course through a person’s bloodstream when they look at an attractive person. It’s explosive and fleeting, providing intense psychological gratification that often fades quickly. It doesn’t require great knowledge of another person. This type of ‘love’ can easily end when the lust, which propelled it forwards, peters out. Love, on the other hand, takes time to cultivate and builds over time as trust and understanding grows. It’s more of a partnership which allows two people to develop as individuals while walking alongside one another. It is not dependent on an outcome, does not have an end goal, and is not bound by a certain set of expectations. A loving relationship can withstand setbacks and allows the members to learn, grow, and bring positive change together. So, how do you know if you are experiencing true love or merely being driven by lust? To understand this, you need to ask yourself a few questions: * Are you hung up on the idea that this person fits your ideal image? * Do you have strong feelings of jealousy of anyone who threatens to come between you? * How do you interact? Respect for one another and thoughtful consideration of one another’s feelings counts. * Are you head over heels? Although it’s not a measure of real love, it may be a sign. * Does the relationship involve commitment and dedication? Any lasting relationship requires hard work and dedication. * Is there learning, growth, and understanding? True love leads to self-discovery and encourages you to become the best version of yourself. Ideally, the answers to these questions should lead to the right conclusions. However, try to also keep in mind that relationships are complicated and some elements of lust may still exist. Love requires constant tending and curiousness about the other person. It has a lasting impact on both individuals in the partnership. Although it can be hard to tell whether it’s true love, there’s nothing wrong with enjoying a relationship that begins with mutual, physical attraction. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you feel lost. As long as you and the other person respect each other, that’s all that matters.

The college years are a time of change and exploration—a crucible for identity formation. After months of excitement and anticipation, many expected freshman daydream about meeting new friends, studying in challenging classes, and joining a string of organizations. But despite the giddy fantasy of college success, high expectations can often evaporate with disappointments, failures, or feelings of loneliness. It's natural to wonder, when the difficulties start rolling in, is this everything I bargained for? I know that feeling. When I moved off to college, I thought I had everything planned out, and I was ready for a new adventure. Little did I know that what lay ahead of me would be much more overwhelming than anything I could have ever anticipated. Everywhere I looked I saw generally excited freshmen, ready and energized to take on college like a caged beast finally released in the wild. For a while, I was inspired too. Joining an array of clubs and organizations was a great way to meet similarly minded people and explore my newfound freedom. But as time dragged on, nothing felt secure. My courses began piling up and I started to doubt myself. I suddenly felt unable to keep up with everyone else, like I was stuck in a constant cycle of pressure and stress with no way out. I was drowning in my own fears and insecurities, and I was too embarrassed to reach out for help. It's not uncommon to feel discouraged during the college transition. The sudden shift in academic requirements, responsibility and friendships can be overwhelming and difficult to adjust to. The key is to trust the process and understand that setbacks are a part of the college experience. There will be moments of difficulty and hardship, but these difficulties can ultimately make you a stronger, more capable individual. If you’re struggling to gain some perspective, try to remember that school isn’t just a place to hit books and take tests. Though it can be easy to get consumed by studies, there are still opportunities for adventure. Take the risks, break out of the orthodox scientific world, and time to time allow yourself to explore other disciplines and activities. Without taking risks, even if they don't always work out, you won't grow. When things feel especially uncertain, self-care is especially important—regardless of whether it’s physical, mental, or spiritual. Taking time for yourself and nourishing your body, mind, and soul helps create a strong foundation from which to explore the world around you. Consider starting a weekly yoga class, a book club, or applying to do labs with a professor. Make sure to touch back with family and friends, those who will love and support you no matter the outcome. One last and most important piece of advice is to learn to savor uncertainty. Life simply doesn’t always turn out as expected. Embrace unexpected turns as learning opportunities, and try not to feel overwhelmed by adversity. Instead look into, listen, and take all the lessons you can. Keep hope alive, stay flexible, and be open to the possibilities. The high school years may seem like all fun and parties, but those times often only set up the unique stage of college life. You'll realize soon enough that the college experience has its own good times, accompanied by struggles and The best is yet to come. Don't let doubt stop you from going after the successes you crave. Say goodbye to what held you back, strap yourself in and have faith that a better future awaits you. Believe in yourself, and firmly repeat the mantra "I'm ready to make the leap". Moving off to college is a momentous occasion, so use it as an opportunity for reinvention and stand boldly as the person you want to be. Ride the waves of uncertainty with gusto, and never underestimate what you can learn along the way.

It was the threshold of winter and he walked alone in the garden. He had an emptiness in his heart, as if a part of him was missing. His eyes were deep and filled with longing for it to all be over. His steps seemed heavy, as if he was dragging an invisible weight with each step. He had made a decision, a hard one that would change both his life, and the life of those he loved. He had been friends with her since they were small children, and it had never been anything more than that. And then one day, it was too much for him to bear, and he had told her he loved her. The aftermath of revealing his feelings to her had not been what he'd expected, and now his beloved friend would not speak to him. The finality of their current situation weighed heavily on his heart. He needed to make a choice. Throughout his childhood he had been taught only one way to solve problems: by fighting. But his dilemma was very different, nothing like the fights he had grown accustomed to. He couldn't win it with fists or words, no matter how hard he tried; because this fight was with himself. The two of them had shared a connection, something mysterious and special, that both of them had felt. She'd been the one person to understand him without fail, without having to explain himself. The intensity of that bond made the hurt even greater. Though he could still feel her presence, every morning when he awoke, her absence loomed around him as well. He wished for things to go back to normal, but that seemed almost impossible. At times it felt like he was staring into a void, a void of never-ending sorrow. No matter what he did, he couldn't shake it off, because at the end of the day reality was still the same. He would never have what he wanted and his life was forever changed because of it. He felt like the victim of a cruel joke, with no escape in sight. His spirit was crushed and broken, but he carried on, trying to ignore the pain. Then one day, something inside of him shifted and he realized the truth. He didn't need to choose which of them was right or wrong, there was only one path he could take - the path of love and compassion. He finally accepted that they would not be together and moved forward, determined to make the best of it. This was his chance to show true strength, to stay in control of his emotions, and turn any sadness or hurt he was feeling into positive energy. By letting go of what cannot be, he opened himself up to new possibilities. He believed it was better this way. Better to choose a path of understanding and moving on, than to stay stuck in the same place forever. The only thing left to do was mend his broken heart and begin the process of healing. He's learned his lesson. Even when faced with the hardest situations, it's better to take a step back and make an unexpected choice of paths- love and compassion, no matter what the cost. Even if it doesn't bring you the happiness you desire, it might just open your heart up to the joys and blessings of a new beginning.

Swallowing anything before a procedure, especially a surgical one, can not only be both dangerous and irresponsible, but it could result in hormonal issues that are difficult to predict – and even harder to solve. A variety of medications, supplements, and foods can have unexpected impacts on the balance of hormones once they get into the bloodstream. Before exploring the risks associated with swallowing before a pre-op, it's important to break down what hormones are, and why they are such a critical factor in so many average people's lives. Hormones are chemical messengers of the human body. The purpose of hormones is to send messages between cells, organs, and tissues. Depending on the type of hormone, it will either tell a cell or organ to start or stop a certain activity. The body relies heavily on the delicate balance of hormones; too much or too little of any one hormone (known as hormone imbalance) can cause serious issues with physical and mental health. For those considering surgery, it's important to ask your surgeon about food, drinks, supplements, and medications that should be avoided pre-op. It's also advisable to avoid drinking alcohol the night before and taking any kind of antihistamines. If you are uncomfortable asking these questions, you should make sure to speak to your primary care physician first. One of the more common medications that has shown to cause a hormonal imbalance when swallowed before a pre-op is oral birth control. Taking this hormone-altering medication before surgery can cause an unexpected shifts in hormones, depending on the patients’ particular body chemistry. Symptoms of a hormonal imbalance caused by this can include extreme fatigue, disturbances in sleep, mood swings, and changes in appetite. Unfortunately, treating these symptoms with medication after the fact can often be a try and error process. Plus, with regards to surgery and medications, the goal is always to lessen the amount that the patient has to take prior to their procedure. An experienced surgeon will speak with their patient to determine what medications must be taken before an operation and if necessary, suggest alternative methods. It's also important to remember that oral supplements can do just as much damage as an entire bottle of pills. Many treatments which happen orally – such as herbs, oregano or cinnamon, for example – can disrupt the natural balance of hormones once they've made their way into the bloodstream. Oftentimes, this can means lost energy, out of sync menses, and extended PMS, making it difficult to go through the day-to-day grind until the issue corrects itself. The best option is to proceed with caution when deciding what to swallow before a pre-op. It's always a good idea to consult a medical professional, shake up your diet a bit, and be mindful of drugs, supplements, and vitamin intakes.

Asking someone out on a date can be nerve-wracking, especially if it's a person you admire and want to get to know better. But with a little bit of courage, taking the first step could spark something truly special. Before asking her out, there are a few things you should keep in mind to set yourself up for a great date. First, it's important to make sure your intentions are honest. Make sure you have a genuine desire to get to know this person better without hidden motives or expectations. Women appreciate an honest, sincere interest in getting to know them. Additionally, take the time to get to know her first. Making an effort to learn her interests and hobbies as well as any hobbies you both share will not only make a good impression but will also give you unique ways to connect and to create a personal experience. Once you feel confident enough, expressing your intentions for wanting to ask her out will give her enough time to think about it and decide if she feels comfortable with it. In addition, remember to let her make the first move. Showing your interest and giving little hints that you'd like to spend some time with her outside of usual social circles can be just as powerful. This approach could ease her into the situation, allowing her to feel more comfortable and ready to respond when the time comes. When it's finally time to ask her out, think of unique ideas tailored to her personality. For example, a simple dinner might be more suitable for someone who enjoys finer dining, while a fun outdoor adventure could be ideal for an enthusiast. Whichever route you decide to take, it should ultimately leave an impression that many previous dates have not had. Finally, if your dream date doesn't take off, don't take it too personally. Whether her response is yes or no, try to respect her decision and move forward. If you're lucky enough to get a positive response, make sure to stay sincere, attentive, and most importantly, be yourself. Lastly, don't forget to have a little fun, even if your date isn't going according to plan!

The question of whether and how to reconcile a partner's drastic weight gain can be a difficult one. Every couple is unique, and the answers may often depend on individual personalities, paths, and goals within the relationship. For those in a committed relationship, the seemingly sudden change in body shape of either party can be shocking. But taking a step back and understanding the issue holistically may provide some much-needed context and peace of mind. Shifting dynamics are natural in relationships, but it is important to note that your partner's shifting appearance doesn't mean that the relationship is automatically in a dangerous spot. Growing together doesn't mean always staying the same - in fact, it's quite to the contrary. That being said, unhealthy weight gain isn't always caused by a healthy, happy partnership. It could involve issues from unresolved stress in the relationship, apathy about diet, or underlying mental health issues. It is key for both partners to fulfill their needs, especially the need for companionship, security, and safety. This all starts with communication. It can be hard, but frame the conversation as one between partners in love, rather than focusing on criticism and failure. Open dialogue and listening can help identify the underlying triggers if any exist, and also help both parties to understand and provide helpful solutions, if applicable. When easing into this conversation, a few key topics can be addressed. First, don't forget to talk about how your partner's lifestyle makes you feel, in addition to how it is affecting them physically/mentally/etc. Believe it or not, your own feelings matter too, so don't be afraid to articulate them. Note that criticism should be avoided, since it can come off as condescending and make the other person feel even worse. Second, make mutual decisions on what kind of changes need to take place. Many people feel the pressure to reach an ideal type, or to live according to somebody else's expectations. Remember, healthy and sustainable change can only come from within your partner. Be supportive and clear-headed, but never force them or dictate the process entirely. Third, remember that every partner experience weight gain differently. One size does not fit all in addressing this issue. Take into account any cultural or societal factors that may contribute, but don't become obsessed with the myriad of possible explanations for their new shape. Concentrate your energy on making sure that your partner feels supported and heard regardless of the cause. It is important to remember that everyone's body is different, and that means each and every individuals perception of weight gain and its handling needs to be respected. Live in the moment and appreciate the fullness of life, instead of seeing it through a lens coated in unfounded fears, largely propagated by the media. Reconciling such drastic changes in a loved one's body is not easy, but it can ultimately open the doors to a deeper understanding of yourself and the world around you. Embrace the unique circumstances of the situation, because it can help foster a richer, more fulfilling relationship.

Sometimes it's difficult to know what to do when someone you love is unhappy or upset with you. You feel powerless and unlucky, as if you committed some terrible crime that you don't understand and can't fix. It's especially hard to grapple with when it's someone whom you care so deeply about. It's a common experience to feel confused and baffled when they don't explain themselves sufficiently, on their own. After all, it's not your responsibility to read the minds of those you care about. But it could be equally difficult to reach out directly, only to risk furthering disappointment and igniting frustration in the conversation. In this kind of situation, it's taken me a long time to realize that a gentle and unaffected attitude makes all the difference. The best approach is to try to really listen to them. Let them express whatever they have been trying holding inside. Don’t offer advice unless asked. Allow them to take however long they need and offer validation by expressing to them that you understand. Show them that you are willing to sit there with them until it all makes sense. Show support and let them know that you can find a way together, even if you don't understand why they're feeling upset. Respect their feelings and give them space. If they need it, allow them to shut down if they want to. Create a safe environment for them to express their feelings. If playing some music or going for a walk calms them down, do that. Be aware of how your presence can assure them that all is not lost, even when the whole situation is a mystery to you. Allow yourself to allow the person to feel, without judgment or expectations. Reach out when it seems appropriate, like offering words of encouragement, and letting them know they don't have to be alone, should they need it. Respect their need for peace when they request it– try not to press them beyond where they can handle. And above all, be sure to thank them afterwards for being vulnerable and allowing you in. Refrain from giving any kind of opinion, other than demonstrating you are there regardless of the outcome. Don’t blame yourself or them for the confusion and hurt. Try not to make any assumptions either – no matter how obvious it may be to you. Stick to heartfelt questions and attention, with a willing appreciation for the trust they show by opening up to you. After the initial conversations, ensure there’s still an opportunity to continue exchanging and respect whatever the outcome might be. One of the hardest things can be to feel like there's no resolution. At times, it's more helpful to accept this and find ways to manage it through patience and practice. There will never be a single answer to explain anyone's general distress. Trust yourself to be present for the person you love and rest in the assurance that our connection can be enough to get through it, as well as create a greater level of understanding. That trust in yourself and in the person you’re devoted to can be the greatest step towards helping them to heal and find their own peace. In the end, if none of this works the best option is often just to be there for them, whatever else happens. The effort and intention matters more than anything else.

Relationships Your relationship has brought you to a crossroads and deciding whether to stay or leave is challenging. You feel pulled in two directions, trying to reconcile all the emotions, the practical aspects, and weighing the realities of each choice. Unfortunately, there’s no universal answer, as every situation is different. This article will allow you to reflect on the present, learn from the past, and imagine what each option would be like in the future. Take Stock Perhaps you’ve already taken stock of the facts and feelings surrounding your relationship, but being clear about all the details can help clarify your decision. Ask yourself when and why things started to deteriorate, what has been working and what hasn’t. Make a list of pros and cons that, once done, will often tell the story of a relationship more clearly than any heated argument ever could. Talk it Over Talking about difficult stuff with a partner can be hard, so use an open-minded third party to get some perspective. A professionally trained counselor or life coach can act as an extra set of eyes who sees the overall picture without any bias and offer both practical and emotional advice. Some employers also offer discounted or free session with therapists, which can help your bank balance too. Delay the Inevitable If either of you are still uncertain, make sure there’s space given to allow underlying issues to surface and verify if both people still want to work on the relationship. If necessary, agree a trial separation with the understanding that emotions can change after time apart, agree how you will keep in touch (or not), and maybe suggest weekly check-ins between the two of you. Look to the Future Imagine what each choice would feel like. What would happen if you split up? Is there anything that could realistically sort out your problems, make for a fair division of assets, arrange access visits for children, and maintain ties in a mature way? On the other hand, if you stay, will the same hurtful patterns continue or will you address them once and for all? And if the latter, how do you plan to make it happen? Go with Your Gut If your gut is telling you something, pay close attention. We are programmed to listen to our instincts, and while it can be surreal and unpredictable, these signals coming directly from your subconscious are often right. Many people stay in unhappy relationships because they fear change, or think it’ll be too complicated (or expensive) to rebuild their lives. Don’t let this trap you. Even if the future isn’t perfect, you don’t have to settle for unhappiness. Take Care of Yourself Whichever route you choose, make sure you look out for your own well-being. That doesn’t just mean rejecting the signs of negativity, but actively seeking out the positives. Spend time alone focusing on passions, personal growth and expressing gratitude for those things—large and small—that make you happy. Those fateful decisions in life aren’t always easy, but having an open mind and considering the potential of any situation can make change less discouraging. And finally, remember that leaving or staying doesn’t define who you are or what you’re capable of. You are capable of so much more, and stepping out of your current situation can lead to unexpected and exciting opportunities to fully express your true self.

In life, we often encounter difficult moments when our relationships come to an end. Leaving behind an experience of deep love and companionship may be one of the toughest transitions we face. The member from the post in Enotalone asked a question about being broken up with his girlfriend, and a big challenge presented itself in terms of concluding that relationship so he can move on peacefully. To reach the goal of regaining inner peace along with psychological contentment and confidence, steps may need to be taken that are a bit out of our comfort zone. Change is often the only thing that can help us grow our experiences and learn how to reach a higher level of understanding. Taking the project of resetting the button and allowing new knowledge, memories, awareness and enlightenment to enter our lives is quite possible. Taking constructive steps forward and embracing the concept of starting anew can veritably amp up life and make it sparkle. Trying to define what needs to be worked with due to the break-up is a fundamental step towards finding a new way to live with satisfaction. Taking a new route that may lead to a newfound pleasure when surrounded by people with whom you can form a strong bond could be one of the objectives. Even if that means no more boyfriend/girlfriend connection. Try to consider practical ways such as making a list of advantages rather than disadvantages of life after the relationship is dissolved. As break-ups should never be taken as a final stop sign on the road of life, even if it does feel like a puzzle to solve. Making a plan and executing it could potentially be a great way to start over, from setting healthy boundaries to adjusting emotionally and mentally to a life of independence, self-determination and freedom. Setting goals for yourself can also prove helpful such as seeing the journey ahead as a part of personal growth. One of the main benefits a breakup gives us is the chance to look at we want from life and examine where our energies are best invested. Whether we decide to dive into the world of self-care practices with yoga, meditation, cleaning or any other activity that makes us resonate with joy, or if we elect to accept offers of kindness and friendship, the ensuing positivity that can be generated will directly impact the quality of our fresh beginning. Reaching out to share experiences, find a listening ear, and understand that everyone goes through similar circumstances will assist in creating something philosophical and practical. Alternatively, travelling and exploring unfamiliar surroundings, absorbing new ideas and resetting the lens could surely be an interesting methodology to gain closure and start over. Another solution is to work with a therapist to ensure that all spiritual and emotional bases are properly covered during this transition which can help in feeling emotionally safe. Allowing oneself to be nurtured with restorative education and processes will also likely bring about a wave of feelings that may range from being able to express common emotions such as fear, anger, sadness, loss or love in a harmless manner, to generating a path to achieving goals. The aim of the next stage could be having faith in yourself and finding balance. Finding the middle way: establishing a healthy relationship with either your independence or companionship, whichever you may require at the moment. There is room for a variety of options such as whether the final outcome turns out to be a single life or commitment, but being honest with yourself is crucially paramount. Finally yet importantly, it is crucial to hold onto the assurance that hope and good days will return as the sun continues to shine every day no matter what. Taking initiatives towards restarting daily routines, making lists of values and expectations, going to therapy and reconnecting with friends and family can help in healing and repositioning oneself with the opportunity and confidence to open a new door to the life after the break up.

“This is so hard to deal with…” In the time since that plaintive plea was posted, hundreds of voices have echoed across the Internet – all seeking solutions to cope with unfamiliar and often unwelcome changes in life circumstances. Whether facing a difficult divorce, financial hardship, traumatic loss, or any other disruptive event that life can throw our way, it’s not easy to adjust and move on. However, responding to the challenge of transitioning isn’t about simply “getting over it”; healing from the disruption, however briefly we visited it, is essential. Taking the steps to work through a difficult change can be a journey of renewal and growth. The fact is, life can change in an instant. One moment we’re happily ensconced in the safety and routine of our daily lives; the next, we’re struggling to carry on without the elements that gave us comfort. We’re left to face a situation, difficult emotions, and inner turmoil that can seem overwhelming and unmanageable – like a never-ending sea of unknowns and uncertainty. But while it may be hard – nay, impossible in the moment to understand why something, however painful, is happening to us, by understanding what these abrupt changes in life signify, we can take steps towards coming to terms with this new reality, and ultimately, finding ways to persevere. One way to begin undergoing this process is to practice self-compassion. Making a commitment to take care of your physical, emotional, and mental health is essential, yet doing so isn’t always easy; life’s chaotic seas can swamp any attempts to keep afloat. It’s no surprise, then, that oftentimes the first victim is one’s mental health. However, while the magnitude of our situation can make it seem simple to give up, it becomes easier when we remember that these difficult, trying times are part of life too. Self-compassion in times of transition is an important step forward on our healing journey, rather than throwing out the baby with the bath water and adopting a pessimistic outlook. Achieving this delicate balance between acknowledging life’s difficulties, while attempting to retain hope and optimism may not be easy, but it’s worth the effort. As we experience the darkness of life’s storms, we need to remember to shine a light on other aspects of our lives and the joy and solace they bring. Limiting our exposure to negative thinking can be particularly helpful during difficult times, as well as taking the opportunity to filter out emotionally charged conversations that leave us feeling depleted or regretful. Keeping a journal, as well as engaging in activities that help us express our emotions such as art or music, and allowing ourselves permission to grieve, cry, and embrace whatever emotions come to the fore in the aftermath of changes, can help provide a healthy outlet. But don’t forget to also take time out to relax and take care of yourself in other ways, like doing yoga, going for a massage, taking a warm bath – whatever helps us savor those moments of solace and peace which can help center us amidst the chaos. There’s no denying that the adjustments and ongoing healing a change can bring can often feel like things are moving too slowly. But other moments will come when we feel (even if only briefly) exhilarated and energized as we embrace opportunities for growth. This is part of the ebb and flow of healing, as new normalcy eventually finds its way into our hearts and minds. It’s important to remember that this healing can take time, and it doesn’t follow a linear path. Another aspect to consider during the healing process is learning to manage the stress and chaos brought about by the change. While it may sound counterintuitive, turning toward pain and uncertainty with focused attention, rather than avoiding it, is essential to process change. Mindfulness type practices prior to taking action can help decrease reactivity and impulsive responses. There are many activities, including yoga, tai chi, walking meditations, body scans, and sitting meditations, that can help us focus on the present moment, accept fluctuating emotions and remain present with difficult underlying thoughts and sensations. Often, life continues to pile new forms of stress on us while we’re trying to navigate our way through sorrow, trauma, and major changes. As the “new normal” begins to solidify, it still can often feel like we’re constantly negotiating our way around a never-ending cycle of crisis and recovery. Reframing some of the problems as challenges allows us to become more attuned to our own inner strength rather than being drawn into the chaos that’s already present in our lives. We can learn to use this newly found inner courage to look at our seemingly impossible tasks differently and find creatively new ways of dealing with them. Finding a way to move forward means accepting our feelings and the complex emotions that accompany the loss of what once was. And while the process of reaching a new peace may be arduous, we can ease our way with open-hearted grace. As we continue on our journey, we need to remember that feeling empowered along the way gives us the strength to gel persist and triumph in the end.

When it comes to relationship problems, it is easy to do what everyone else is doing - blaming themselves or their partner and lumping everything into a neat little box instead of looking at things objectively. But what if there was a different, more effective way? What if that box could be kicked out of the equation and replaced by creativity and finding innovative solutions? What if you applied this to your relationship troubles and saw real improvement in how things are going? As it turns out, that's exactly what can happen. Thinking outside the box to solve relationship issues might seem intimidating and insurmountable at first glance, but it can have wonderful results if approached correctly. Instead of repeating the same old habits or drawing the same conclusions, why not take the time to look at the situation from a completely different angle? The first step for this process is to actively accept any emotions you may have about the problem. Trying to stuff them away won't make them go away; instead, allow yourself to experience them fully and recognize them without judgment. This can then take some of the power away from the feelings, and make them easier to understand and draw productive conclusions from. Next, gather as much information as you can to help you get an understanding on why the problem exists in the first place. Ask questions, do research, and interact with both yourself and other people in order to gain multiple perspectives. This may be uncomfortable, but it will be immensely beneficial in beginning to create a solution. Ask yourself what possible causes could be contributing to the issue, as well as what effects it could be having on you or your partner. More often than not, the root of the problem won't be exactly clear. That's ok. All you need to do is brainstorm possibilities. You don't have to settle on any one idea - in fact, you should gather as many as you can to see the problem from multiple angles. Write down anything that comes to mind, even if it seems a little silly or far-fetched. It might turn out to have some merit! Now the real work begins. With the knowledge gathered and possibilities explored, try to think up new ways to approach the relationship problem. Challenge yourself to come up with ideas that are outside the box, even if they may seem a little strange. Consider potential alternatives and fresh approaches while also breaking the molds of traditional ones. Allow yourself to get creative and be open to the possibility that things don't necessarily have to follow any expected guidelines. Once you have a concept for how to tackle the issue in hand, start to put it into action. Not every idea will work perfectly, so be prepared for bumps in the road. If one thing doesn't work out, don't give up - there are plenty of other strategies waiting to be tried out. Thinking outside the box when it comes to relationship problems can be difficult, but benefits from it can be immense. Instead of drawing the same conclusions and repeating the same behaviors, challenge yourself to take a different spin on approaching the issue. Doing so can help you gain an understanding of the situation in an entirely new way, while also opening up more options to make real improvements. Give it a try and see what it can do for you.

We often think of our relationships with family and friends as one-sided battles—we're the ones that must work hard at developing trust and respect. But what if your other half is constantly lying and unable to keep his or her word? In this situation, it's easy to feel like you're fighting a losing battle. When faced with a constant barrage of dishonesty, some people give in and accept the situation for what it is. Others may try to confront the issue but find that no matter how hard they push against the wall of deceit, their partner manages to slip away unscathed. It can be incredibly frustrating and leave one feeling completely powerless. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to survive the lies and deception that have engulfed your relationship. The following tips will help you regain a sense of control and power while protecting yourself from further harm. First and foremost, don't invest too much emotion into trying to uncover the truth. When we're heavily invested in learning the truth, it's easy to become obsessed with forcing the other person to admit to it. This only leads to more battles, as your partner won't change unless he or she wants to. Instead, focus on your own feelings, noting how their actions make you feel. Be firm, yet compassionate. Firmly state that you expect honesty and respect from your partner and will not tolerate anything less. At the same time, acknowledge that the situation is likely difficult for him or her. Consider offering help in the form of therapy or counseling. Speak to your partner about seeking professional help for his or her problem with lying, but do so without placing blame or criticizing them. Take charge of your own life. Don't let your partner's dishonesty prevent you from living a full life. Nurture yourself, spend time with supportive friends and family, and focus on the positive aspects of your relationship. Keep in mind that while you can't control your partner's behavior, you can control your response to it. Finally, recognize that unfaithfulness can be an indicator of greater underlying issues. It's important to remember that deceitful behavior is often symptomatic of a larger problem. Before continuing on with the relationship, it's a good idea to assess your partner's willingness to confront and address whatever is causing the lies in the first place. Dealing with lies and deception in a relationship can be incredibly difficult. But it is possible to survive this emotional minefield by remaining firm and taking charge of your own life. When faced with the impossible, remember that you cannot control the outcome of this situation, but you can protect yourself from further harm.

It can be a crushing feeling when you realize how much time you wasted in a relationship with someone who was not worthy of it. It’s especially tough to take when the person has betrayed your trust, such as by having an affair with the brother of one of your closest friends. This individual does not deserve the effort and care that you put out and it is hard not to feel enraged and hurt. Though it may seem like these four years were enough time wasted in a situation that caused you so much heartache, you can take this opportunity to learn from it and become stronger. Everyone makes mistakes at some point, even if they are big ones, and it is important to not let this experience define you. Allow yourself to accept what has happened, grieve for a short period of time and then try to use this as your growth experience. Reflecting on the memories can prove useful in helping you determine what to do differently moving forward. At this point, it may be prudent for you to stop any contact with him. Staying around him likely caused you to make excuses for his bad behavior and kept you from getting away from the toxic situation. After the initial shock of the incident wears off, spend more time surrounded by people who make you feel good -- focus on your family and friends who truly care about you. Don’t let the opinions of others make you feel bad about the choice that you made or blame yourself as if it was your fault he cheated. Looking ahead, it may be helpful to start developing a list of traits that you would seek in a future partner. That way, you don’t repeat the same error in judgment. Your feelings are valid and it is both normal and acceptable to feel whatever you need to during this time. Try to talk openly with someone close to you or maybe a professional if what you’re feeling becomes overwhelming. An additional idea could be to either find a trusted significant other to offer support or a group that also went through similar issues. Connecting with individuals who share your story can be truly therapeutic. It provides an outlet to vent your struggles and hear advice from those in a similar boat. Maybe take up a new hobby or get involved in activities that promote your personal growth. Think of ways to celebrate the chapters that have ended and be proud of the milestones you overcame. The most important thing is to recognize that in order to move forward, you can no longer be held captive by the person who was undeserving and ungrateful of your commitment and devotion. Acknowledge the lessons you have taken away and use them to create space for true healing. When the right person eventually comes along, you will be all the wiser.

The ink had barely dried on the paper before the tears began to flow from her eyes. She had chosen her own path of freedom and independence from the relationship that felt suffocating and controlling at times, but at what cost? Now she was alone in unfamiliar territory; unsure of where to turn for comfort nor for advice. It was no doubt a harrowing period in her life. Beneath this newfound stress and self-doubt came a lingering fear for the future. How would she go about creating a new path in life after her recent breakup? Would she be able to forge ahead by picking up the proverbial ‘pieces’ scattered across the broken pieces of her dreamy romance? Questions such as this plagued her subconscious daily; it seemed as if these knotty issues didn’t have an answer in sight. The first step towards regeneration was to open herself up to honest introspection. Through answering questions such as “Why did I break up with my ex-partner?” or “What could I have done differently?” or “Am I really ready to be single?”, she instinctively began to trace back her steps, reviewing why certain decisions were made and understanding which ones were beneficial and which ones weren't. As difficult as it may have been at times, further understanding gradually allowed contact with painful memories - an opportunity for attaining closure by accepting both sides of any given situation instead of focusing solely on blame or heartache. Even though communication with her former partner remained rather infrequent since splitting up, addressing old issues brought moments of clarity and emotional liberation over time . Yet settling lingering feelings from past relationships was only part one. Moving forward meant slowly allowing indecision to become replaced by optimism and joy once again . The most effective way for this transition period involved carving out more time for self-care - meaningful activities that promoted personal growth which could consist of anything from talking more openly with friends (or even those who were complete strangers) , spiritual exploration , physical exercise , volunteering, continuing education , spending quality time with family or simply journaling daily reflections without mental restrictions . Suddenly existing hobbies held significantly more value than ever before while discovering potential skills through trial and error provided much needed fulfillment in everyday life tasks - ultimately leading towards acceptance not only from outside sources but also from within . She eventually realized that during uncertain times like these when pathways diverge we should pay attention to our inner compass - continuously paying tribute to our soul's ongoing journey rather than relying externally upon rigid definitions of success or failure dictated by societal rules . Therefore each individual must find their own guidepost towards reconciliation; listening closely as intuition gradually shows us how best forging paths can suggest nascent possiblities towards ultimate harmony in life after a breakup .