Steven Robinson

The dizzying speed at which technology is upending virtually every single aspect of our lives has left us with some unexpected consequences – most of them being universally beneficial. On the other hand, this fast-paced digital age has also caused some unintended changes to our social lives and relationships with one another, both in terms of our physical and virtual interactions. Perhaps the most eye-catching of them all is a notable shift in how people perceive and attempt to form meaningful friendships. Just 20 years ago, it wasn't uncommon to find yourself spending considerable time with people you considered friends without any ulterior motive or ill intentions. Friendship was more often than not based on real, physical interaction. We'd talk over coffee and go out for dinner as much as possible, maybe even spend whole afternoons together just talking and having a good time. Simply put, forming a friendship was an organic process which involved spending time with someone and usually had an end goal of mutual understanding, consideration and loyalty. Nowadays, it looks like that type of connection has been largely supplanted by something else in a lot of ways. This 'something' often comes in the form of virtual interactions, be it through instant messaging, social networks, or even dating apps. The focus shifts to having a big friend circle on your favorite platform, exchanging pleasantries over text message or a quick call, maybe to reveal just enough of yourself to make that connection seem real. Unlike previous times, almost anything will do in order for us to concretize something that vaguely resembles a friendship. In the world we live today, it is not only incredibly easy to acquire new 'friends', but it's also easy to lose them. That is to say, these new 'relationships', shallow as they may be, are surprisingly volatile. What was supposed to be some sort of starting point for a genuine connection is instead evolving into its endpoint. We are so prone to hopping from one person to another that the sense of investment or security associated with a real friendship becomes almost non existent. We've created a framework for what is expected from a modern friendship and in no shape or form it resembles its traditional counterpart. We've exchanged depth for breadth, consequence for transience, loyalty for convenience. It's not necessarily a bad thing, since we now have access to many more possibilities and capacity to engage with a greater number of people, expanding our horizons and social circles. Some would-be friendships can be either conducted or maintained more conveniently this way and that could prove to be an invaluable asset in many occasions. However, this brings on a different issue: interactions that, although true to their nature, need to conform to a very specific standard so they can be properly labeled as 'friendships', have lost their charm and unpredictability. That is particularly notable when it comes to maintaining a long-term relationship with someone; expectations become so set that spontaneity, or at least the illusion of such, eventually fades away, only to leave behind something so overly formal that it fails to resemble a solid friendship anymore. It's almost like there are two types of 'friends', the ones we interact with so arbitrarily that we forget what initiated it in the first place, and the ones we rarely ever have time to actually get in contact with, instead content with just knowing that at some point in time they were part of our life. Finding a friend that we can build a meaningful relationship with remains a challenge. Seemingly, everyone is busy doing something else, learning something new, talking to other people and so on. We lack both the time and the means to stay in touch with the important people in our lives the same way we used to. Nevertheless, it is still possible to create and maintain those deep and lasting connections that form the foundation of true friendship. Taking the time to people know they're still in our lives, spending more time with them in person, listening and understanding -all these little acts of kindness and consideration add up to create something that, in spite of technological advances, can never be replaced.

Nothing strikes fear into the hearts of many quite like small talk with strangers.Questions, queries and conversations swirl at never ending parties, social events, and even moments of everyday life to create an overwhelming atmosphere of trepidation for many. How can one rise beyond the cliched exchange of questionnaires and bored pleasantries? How can one learn to enjoy such conversations, no matter who is on the other side? The truth is, children have more secrets to share than we think. Children are wonderful sources of knowledge, especially when it comes to something as daunting as striking up a conversation with someone you’ve never met before. Children don’t worry about being well-liked, fitting the mould or saying the right thing; they simply connect with their interlocutor based on shared passions and commonalities, express what matters to them, and follow honest curiosity while doing so. As adults, if we take a moment to pay attention to the ways in which children take part in friendly conversations, whereby both parties are engaged and end with sincere smiles, we can apply their natural instinct in our own adult conversations. The proof is in the pudding; children make small talk look easy and effortless, no matter if it is with someone new or a best friend. Children don't come into a conversation with pre-scripted lines or force conversation, instead they go with the flow and enjoy it for what it is - a connection between two humans. The most important lesson we can take away from small talk with strangers is that it really doesn't need to be - as Nico, a six year old surfer put it “What's the point of always talking about the same stuff?”. This idea of adapting and going with what comes up is key to successful small talk, making each discussion all the more genuine. Going beyond “the weather” in a conversation can be a challenge to some, yet, focusing on the little moments of absolute understanding - the mutual joy of laughter that usually appears after realizing the shared little quirks, memories and world views - is where the beauty of connecting with someone lies. Most importantly, we should trust that the connection will come about if we just let it be instead of pre-scripting and planning our every word. These children inspire us to let go of our worries and understand that conversation is not just a tool to get what we want, but a bridge to meet others, explore the human condition, understand their individual perspectives and acknowledge the feelings of others. Perhaps most importantly, children show us that our conversations are not defined by the outcome, rather by the presence, warmth, and enthusiasm with which we bring them.

Happiness is something that many people search for their entire lives. After experiencing sadness, disappointment, heartache, and other difficult emotions, most individuals are desperate to find something that brings them joy. But what exactly is happiness? Moreover, how do we find it? Unfortunately, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution to this question, as what makes us happy will vary from person to person. That said, there is one important question that can help you on your quest for true happiness: "Am I doing the work that I want to do?" If you stop and think about it for a minute, this simple inquiry can push you in the right direction. After all, it offers a degree of clarity that cannot be attained through anything else. Are you living the life of your dreams? Or have you strayed off course, allowing others to dictate the path you should take? It is undoubtedly a difficult question to answer, as we might feel obligated to stick to what we have inwardly chosen. However, ultimately, it’s down to you whether or not you choose to follow the plan that you’ve set out on. Now don’t get us wrong, selecting a career path isn’t easy. What works for the majority might not be suitable for you specifically, therefore it’s essential to take into account the circumstances that you’re presented with. Education, upbringing, and personal preferences will all factor into the decision-making process. Maybe you want to pursue a different job role, but you’re unsure if it will pan out as planned? That’s one of the pitfalls of life — uncertainty. Nevertheless, if you don’t try, you’ll never know what could’ve been. Moving away from matters pertaining to your profession, it’s also crucial to evaluate the smaller details of your current situation. What takes up the majority of your time? Do these activities bring contentment or dread? By assessing your daily habits, you can narrow down any areas where it may be beneficial to make amendments. For instance, there’s no harm in giving up watching the news every night if it only depletes your energy levels. Alternatively, switching off Twitter notifications could give you the peace of mind to continue scrolling without any distractions. In other words, if something isn’t satisfying you, it’s probably time to switch it up and focus on winning over your life, as opposed to losing out on valuable time. The concept of true happiness doesn’t end there, though. It’s way deeper than some might think; it’s about discovering a state of mind where nothing else matters outside of the moment. To put it simply, it’s time to get rid of the negative mental chatter in your head. The idea of practising mindfulness, to a certain extent, fits within this context. Whether it’s yoga, meditation, deep breathing, or even cognitive behavioral therapy, each one of them claims to bring more balance to your mental health. Undoubtedly, this can present a sense of freedom and serenity — two feelings which don’t come around too often nowadays as we’re constantly inundated with countless stresses. It’s worth bearing in mind that no single answer is going to solve all of your problems. Instead, numerous aspects of your lifestyle will contribute towards why you’re feeling happy or unhappy. Nevertheless, the importance of posing one vital question cannot be underestimated. Once you ask yourself whether or not you’re doing the work that you want to do, it’ll open up new horizons, allowing you to explore them further in pursuit of greater satisfaction. Therefore, if you decide to reflect upon this meaningful question, although you’re likely to face obstacles and difficulties along the path, it’s sure to be worth the effort. As long as you strive to ask yourself ‘am I doing the work that I want to do’ and make the necessary changes accordingly, you’ll experience a sense of luxurious contentment unlike anything else.

The question of whether or not a woman has to tell her husband she has miscarried is a difficult and complex one. The answer depends on the individual couple and their relationship—their communication, their long-term plans, and more. It can be difficult to tell even close family members and friends who are not a couple, let alone a spouse. Even so, in some cases, it may be beneficial to disclose this information with your husband if it is done in a compassionate and supportive way. Dealing with the physical and emotional crisis of a miscarriage and considering how to handle the situation with your partner can be an overwhelming experience. Grief and sorrow is a natural part of miscarriage and each couple needs to come together to help each other process it. The pain, no matter the stage of the pregnancy, is real regardless the size of the baby. Different partners grieve differently and being able to openly discuss the pain and anguish can bring healing and comfort. For some couples a miscarriage is too emotionally overwhelming to bear, others worry about the impact that it will have on the marriage. The decision as to whether or not to disclose the information to your partner should be a personal one and your worries should not diminish the importance of telling the truth. While the news of a miscarriage can appear devastating, it’s important to remember that many couples have gone through this and come out stronger than ever before. In some cases, the ability to open up and be vulnerable is key to a healthy relationship and can bring couples closer. Vulnerability helps couples to connect and allows them to share feelings authentically. In addition, if you and your partner have led yourself to believe you two were “meant to be” or “would be together forever” confessing the news of the miscarriage can be a scary idea. Transparency is key to allowing your spouse to enter into the reality of the situation and enables both of you to start planning for the future. On the other hand, it may be advisable to consider the frailties of your relationship and whether disclosing the news could cause further disruption. If a couple does not have a solid foundation of trust, recovery from a miscarriage can be a challenge as it deepens the sense of vulnerability within the relationship. Furthermore, if the husband is not supportive or receptive to the news it may lead to an unhealthy dynamic of guilt and blame from the wife. The decision whether or not to tell your husband lies with you. There is no right or wrong whether to choose tell your husband or keep it to yourself. Whatever your decision, seeking out counselling, therapy, and support services can help you and your husband work through the grief and emotions of the situation. The ability to communicate emotions, thoughts, and ideas is essential for couples dealing with a miscarriage but what should be avoided is criticism, judgment, and any type of blaming. If you have decided you want to share the news of the miscarriage with your spouse it is important to be prepared for questions and queries. Many people feel guilty or ashamed their body was unable to carry a child to full term, so it is important to assure your husband that miscarriages are incredibly common and should not be associated with guilt or blame. Sharing your emotions about the situation can give your husband the opportunity to show his caring side and can provide a positive space for both of you to heal and grieve together.

It felt like the whole world slowed down when the pandemic forced us into isolation. Although staying at home may have kept us safe and healthy, it had a far-reaching effect on our compassion for others. We all withdrew regardless of whether we chose or were mandated to do so. With no connecting footsteps or curious whispers between us, warmth slowly slipped away and what was left in its place was a sense of indifference. At first, I barely noticed that the disconnection was slowly dulling my empathy. I missed seeing people in restaurants and grocery stores, but I could still check in with friends and family over Zoom calls and FaceTime. It seemed like nothing more than an extended vacation; something that could be overcome by a strong internet connection and well-timed text messages. But as the days and weeks of isolation passed, a heaviness began to settle in me. Long conversations and detailed emails began to fill the gaps, but I still missed the rush of being in something bigger than myself. The lack of connection and representation chipped away at my emotions until eventually, I was unable to recognize what it felt like to share a smile or give a kind word to someone I didn't know. My ability to empathize for strangers was lost. My veneer of surrender became a concrete wall that separated me from the makeshift relationships I was able to create through physical distance. The irony is we used technology to connect with people in the hopes of feeling closer to them when in reality the distance only made us feel further apart. I became obsessed with finding ways to break the barrier that had isolated me from everyone I used to care about. I started engaging in online forums, attending virtual events, and above all, trying to connect with anyone I could. It helped me reconcile the loneliness loneliness I’d been feeling, but it felt like there was a part of myself that was missing - my compassion for strangers. Eventually, I hit a wall in my attempts to get out of my social hibernation. I realized the only way to build relationships was to take the plunge and make real-life contact again. So I took a few small steps in rekindling my relationships with family and friends. I had forgotten how powerful a simple hug could be and how reassuring a friendly face could be. Being with people face-to-face reminded me of the importance of caring for others, and again, I found my compassion slipping back into my life. The pandemic has undoubtedly pushed us apart, but we need to remember it’s our shared humanity that binds us all together. No matter how far away we are from each other, we need to find the courage to bridge the gap, reach out, and reclaim the connections we’ve lost.

As if I didn’t already have enough to worry about with five kids all under the age of ten, I had been hoping, praying, and planning for my mother-in-law to move in. My husband, who often worked long hours, travelled a lot for work, and who, frankly, was often more focused on his career than his family, really pushed for my mother-in-law to come live with us. He thought it would help ease my burden of managing our chaotic household. I didn’t agree at first. After all, I had always managed just fine on my own even when my beloved father passed away unexpectedly. I had managed to survive my husband’s absence while he worked abroad and held down the fort four times during the darkest winters of all. So why did I need my mother-in-law living with us now? “We will pass the time more quickly together talking about life rather than alone counting all of the dishes in the sink every day!” My husband insisted as he logged another late night from the office. I could feel in my bones that he was right but I couldn’t bring myself to acknowledge it - plus, I wasn’t ready to give up my hard-fought independence. Fast forward a few months and the idea of having my mother-in-law living with us became more appealing. My husband had been helping reorganize our spare bedroom so it was ready for her and I could feel the anticipation building up inside. We discussed how introducing another adult into the home could give us healthier family dynamics and allow us to focus on things we both needed: rest, relaxation and connection. On the day of her arrival, things were stable, peaceful and a bit exciting. The kids, blissfully unaware of the potentials of our new normal, were counting down the minutes until their “new aunt” would arrive. However, the first week of her presence was filled with an unexpected undercurrent. My mother-in-law brought a different energy to our home and the kids noticed it too. We had little fights over silly things that seemed like lighthearted teasing at first, such as who should carry the last bag of groceries in from the car. However, with each passing day, the glibness eroded away. My mother-in-law began wanting to take charge of the decisions in the house and that created tension between us. The truth was nobody knew what kind of changes to make in the house and nobody was willing to budge. It was like a seesaw – whenever somebody moved one way the other followed suit without thinking twice. There was no proper communication happening and each of us ended up with the same opinion, which caused all sorts of disputes. My husband and I had to make an effort to remind ourselves that this was supposed to create unity, not hostility. We needed to take a breath and remember that we were trying to bring a fresh element of our family back together and build a happy home. That’s when we decided to take little steps towards making this transition smoother and more meaningful. We started to plan regular family outings, tasked the kids with intentional efforts to make my mother-in-law feel at home and engaged her in a variety of activities. This was a great move because it helped us talk through situations without arguing and even opened up conversations around solutions to some of the difficult issues that had recently risen between us. The surprise turned out to be the resentment we felt towards our mother-in-law has somewhat faded away and we have become a closer knit family than ever before. We recognize that having her with us can provide valuable insight, support, and emotional security, something that neither of us had ever expected. The fighting has not gone away entirely but, in hindsight, it has been a good kind of fighting. It’s the kind of thing that strengthens relationships and brings a multifaceted perspective to the table that can help us appreciate and contemplate multiple solutions. It has created an environment of challenge and respect where our family can grow through a variety of meaningful interactions and gained perspective. At its core, welcoming my mother-in-law to our home has taught us how to remain flexible and open-minded to negotiation and cooperation - even in moments of stress and uncertainty.

At the heart of a meaningful life lies relationships. Given due attention and nurturance, relationships yield joy, support and are necessary for creating a feeling of belonging. With the hustle and bustle of daily life, however, it can be hard to nurture our relationships and maintain them with time and care. As life moves fast and change looms ahead, it is more important than ever to read up on how to make our connections deeper, constructive and rewarding. Here are ten books to help you nurture your relationships. The first book on the list is 'Non-Violent Communication: A Language of Life' by Marshall B. Rosenberg. This book takes an innovative approach to communication that enables us to tune into our own and others’ emotions and inner motivations to deepen our connections. It also demonstrates how to disagree respectfully and build bridges between individuals and groups. The next book is 'The 5 Love Languages' by Gary Chapman. This classic outlines five distinct pathways to expressing and receiving emotional love: words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, acts of service and gift-giving. Understanding the ‘love languages’ of partners and loved ones can help us communicate better and deepen our relationships. 'Getting the Love You Want' by Harville Hendrix has become a bible for couples counseling. Rendering transformative tools such as honest reflection exercises and relationship changing dialogue, it helps readers stay in love and create lasting relationship with their partner. 'The Meaningful Life Handbook' by Jacob Nordby helps readers reconnect with their spiritual selves and awaken to the intelligence of their hearts. Blending wisdom teachings and neuroscience, this handbook encourages readers to develop empathy through deepening their relationships. ''The Road Less Travelled' by M. Scott Peck is renowned as a classic. Offering understanding and insight into challenging interpersonal issues like responsibility, conformity, discipline and addiction, this guide can help people make healthier relationship choices. 'The Surrendered Wife: A Practical Guide to Finding Intimacy, Passion, and Peace' is a book on marriage by Laura Doyle. This book offers a new paradigm of marriage where husband and wife surrender control of their individual lives, embrace collaboration and enjoy an atmosphere of shared responsibility. 'Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love' by Dr. Sue Johnson provides a powerful roadmap for couples to understand each other deeply and elicit greater intimacy. Introducing exercises to foster improved understanding, connection and closeness, this book urges couples to adopt this practice for sharing true feelings and experiences. 'The Art of Living Together' by Agneta Fischer is a practical and comprehensive guide for anyone who longs for deeper meaning in relationships. Introducing techniques for improving communication and increasing understanding, this book draws from Eastern philosophical practices including Zen and Tantra to encourage readers to explore a fuller range of their relationships, both with themselves and others. 'The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship' by Don Miguel Ruiz is a powerful guide on how to open the heart and connect to the source of private emotions. This book dives deep into discerning the meaning of love, understanding both self and the beloved and finding ways of expressing creative love without falling into violence or struggle. Last but not least, 'The Emotional Life of Your Brain: How Its Unique Patterns Affect the Way You Think, Feel and Live--and How You Can Change Them' by Richard J. Davidson and Sharon Begley, delves into insights on harnessing the power of our six core emotional systems to lead a healthier, more fulfilled life. With groundbreaking research and practical exercises to foster resilience, this book encourages better communication, deeper understanding and more stunning relationships. The books mentioned above offer a variety of perspectives on building and maintaining relationships. In a world where traditional and age-old relationships are rapidly evolving, these books provide insight on creating strong, meaningful bonds that yield satisfaction and joy.

For a happier life, learn when to stay and when to leave relationships No one should stay in a dysfunctional relationship, regardless of the reasons. But how does one identify such a relationship, and why do people get stuck in them? Dysfunctional relationships often have some common characteristics, but without self-awareness and emotional support, it can be hard to recognize a dysfunctional relationship or realize that it is time to move on. Here are ten of the most common reasons why people can find themselves stuck in a dysfunctional relationship: 1. Low Self Esteem: People with low self-esteem often strive to be in a relationship even if it means they are in a dysfunctional one. Because they lack strong relational skills and self-esteem, they will settle for a relationship without the necessary components to be emotionally healthy. 2. Fear of the Unknown: Many people find themselves feeling comfortable in an unhealthy or toxic relationship because the unknown of leaving can be more frightening than sticking with what is familiar to them. Fear of the unknown can be an obstacle that keeps people trapped in a dysfunctional relationship. 3. Lack of Educational Support: People who grow up in households where dysfunctional relationships are the norm, may not be armed with the tools and support needed to sustain a healthy and supportive relationship. Without knowledge of what a healthier relationship would look like, it can be hard to leave a dysfunctional one. 4. Emotional Dependence: When two people become too interdependent, it can create an unhealthy bond that often leads to both parties becoming codependent in a dysfunctional relationship. If one person's emotional wellbeing is entirely dependent on another person, this could lead to staying in an unhealthy relationship through thick or thin. 5. Financial Reasons: By far one of the most compelling reasons why many stay in a dysfunctional relationship is because of financial dependence. Especially in situations where one partner is providing all the financial income, it can be difficult to leave a broken relationship. 6. Isolation: Loneliness is a key factor. Often times one person in a dysfunctional relationship will have been completely cut off from family, friends or any other source of emotional support, leaving them without the help necessary to leave. 7. Addiction: Substance abuse and addiction can contribute to a dysfunctional relationship. As addiction spirals out of control, it can take over a person’s entire life, controlling familial, social and professional relationships. It can create an environment of manipulation and control, hindering a person’s ability and willingness to leave. 8. Unresolved Trauma: Some childhood experiences set individuals up for being in dysfunctional or abusive relationships. If these traumatic experiences are left unresolved, it can manifest itself in adulthood and keep a person from seeking out a more balanced and supportive relationship. 9. Belief This Is Normal: Unfortunately, people might remain in dysfunctional relationships because they think this is normalcy, who they are and deserve. Over time, they can become used to being treated poorly and have a false belief that they are unworthy of something better. 10. Lack of Self-Awareness: Poor understanding of emotions, behaviors and the root of relationships can prevent people from seeing their role in the dynamic. Self-awareness and understanding of the situation is important in order to heal and develop healthier relationships. Finding a loving and healthy relationship involves having self-awareness, understanding the dynamics and knowing when to stay and when to leave. Even though it can be challenging to break free from a dysfunctional relationship, it is important to remember that investing in yourself and your goals is worth it.

Age discrimination is a real and unfortunate phenomena in today's society, with many capable individuals overlooked or outright dismissed due to their age. Rejection because of age can be especially debilitating; the sting of being deemed too young or too old for the task at hand can be difficult to move past. Dealing with these incidents can feel like a particularly insurmountable challenge, and it's important to realize that there are still rich opportunities for personal growth and learning even in the face of such rejection. It's hard not to take things personally. After all, we have all spent a great deal of time crafting our identity, and then to hear someone say that one specific aspect of our identity is falsely placed or undersized can put a dent in our self-esteem. But, instead of letting the rejection send you into a downward spiral, it’s important to stay flexible and motivated and focus on what kind of options are available with the circumstances that you have been given. Start by looking to successful people in older or younger generations and try to discern what it is about them that makes them so admired, respected and successful. Did they take risks? Did they follow specific trends and changes more closely, adapting more quickly than their peers? Rejection often provides an opportunity to consider new and creative paths that we may not otherwise explore. Our age can also open doors to different types of guidance. A younger person can learn from the wisdom of older generations; grandparents, mentors, colleagues and teachers may offer unique insights to how their generation approached the same challenge. Learning from those who are older can provide depth and a longer-term perspective that typically comes with experience. Similarly, the willingness to learn from younger generations can be just as refreshing - recent graduates and interns can often offer insights and ideas that drive innovation, while building an understanding of emerging industry trends. Rejections can also lead to a deeper appreciation of refinement and discipline. Evaluating one’s approach and attitude is an important part of growing and learning, regardless of your age. Maybe it was not age that caused the initial rejection – take some time to evaluate your body language, communication skills, and overall “brand.” Identifying your strengths and weaknesses will make certain opportunities much easier when they become available. Moreover, differentiate yourself by focusing on your true passions, interests, and areas of expertise. Investing in specialized skills or knowledge that your peers do not necessarily possess can be a great way to stand out. Consider offering up your technical and professional experience by becoming a consultant or freelancing in fields where your unique skill set can be more visible and useful. Further, don’t underestimate the importance of networking. Get out and meet people—attend conferences, seminars, and other events where you can get involved and create relationships with others. It’s really worth it to build connections through volunteer work, either directly in your field of interest or in areas that interest you. Take the initiative to start conversations when you see people around you in the same situation, or while you are out and about. You never know who could be a prospective employer or mentor. Finally, make sure to remain realistic yet optimistic about what possibilities exist for you no matter what stage of life you are in. Certainly comparisons to other peers or standards that influence your expectations can be disheartening, but it is important to keep in mind that personal growth and learning is always possible with the right attitude.

When it comes to relationships, it can be hard to find the perfect balance between understanding and setting boundaries. When you’ve found someone special, it can feel like the only thing that matters is having the kind of life together that makes both of you happy. But the truth is, relationships don’t run on rainbows, lollypops, and love alone. It takes a lot of compromise and effort just to make sure everything works - more than a lot of people realize. And no matter how high your standards may be, double standards can be a real killer. Double standards are when one partner feels differently about an expectation from the other. For example, if you have a strict ‘no cheating’ rule for yourself, but allow your partner to bend the rules, this could be considered a double standard. This does not have to be just about fidelity either - double standards can creep into even the most mundane of disagreements. Many times, double standards can be sinister, or born out of some dark place in our lives. Perhaps we enforce stricter expectations on others (like our partners) because of our own unresolved past. The issue then is not only what of a difference these expectations make in our present life, but also how to recognize a double standard within ourselves so that we can avoid it in our partnerships. We all establish different levels of acceptable behavior based on gender, race, status, looks, talent, power and other factors. If we don’t recognize what invisible standards exist, they can become baked into our partnerships. We may not even know why the relationship isn’t functioning the way we would like it to. It's hard to prioritize kindness and acceptance when enforcing hidden codes of conduct. We must strive to remain open minded and to remember that communication is key to any successful relationship. Speak your truth, honour your boundaries and learn to endure difference. After these steps, we can then work towards avoiding double standards. The primary distinction between acceptable beliefs and double standards is nuance. It’s important to get clear on what is acceptable and what is not. Ask yourself: are these expectations realistic? What behaviours are attempting to be regulated and why? Is this an example of judgement based on prejudice or misdirected faith? Also think about whether or not these expectations are in the best interest of both parties. If not, it could be a sign of a double standard being imposed. Reexamine the rules you set for your relationship and ask yourself if there is a basis for a particular belief and if it really promotes health and harmony. Sometimes a double standard is more subtle and harder to detect. In scenarios like these, try to take a step back and ask those two core questions again. Checking your feelings and the feelings of your partner can help determine if a double standard is at work. One way to practice a healthy relationship is to make sure that you and your partner are always talking; share your thoughts and feelings with each other, and make sure to listen as well as you speak. Double standards can arise from lack of communication or fear of it. Ensure both you, and your partner, have the same priority of staying committed to the discussion and working on resolving issues as they arise. This can not only benefit both partners, but can also help create the kind of understanding in your relationship that will prevent the need for double standards altogether. The bottom line is that double standards can have damaging consequences in relationships. They can lead to a lack of trust – or worse – the eroding of respect. If recognized and worked through with open, honest conversation, they can be avoided. Dealing with double standards is not easy, but it is essential in order to keep an intimate connection healthy and thriving.

Puberty blockers are a type of hormonal treatment used in medical transitioning, or transitioning from one gender to another. The hormone treatment is usually used as a precursor to undergoing cross-sex hormone therapy and gender-affirming surgeries. Puberty blockers can be very effective in helping children and adolescents with gender dysphoria reduce their distress, as well as dramatically improving their quality of life. Puberty blockers are commonly referred to as gonadotropin-releasing hormone (GnRH) analogues. They are medicines that “block” the natural production of the body’s hormones that cause physical changes during puberty, such as the development of breasts in females, facial hair growth in males, and many other physical changes. In individuals going through gender transition, these puberty blockers prevent the physical effects of puberty from occurring, giving individuals time to think about and effectively make psychological and emotional decisions about their permanent transition. At first, the medicine works slowly, but after some time, it starts to take effect. The main purpose is to interrupt, or block the body’s puberty process until the patient is ready to start taking further steps in their transition. This can be helpful for young people who may not be emotionally prepared or mature enough to make long-term decisions regarding gender transition surgery. It can also be beneficial for older individuals who are considering transitioning but need more time to consider the choices they have. Puberty blockers are reversible, and they can be stopped at any time. Once puberty blockers are stopped, the hormones associated with the patient’s birth sex will start to develop again, leading to the physical changes associated with puberty. Puberty blockers should not be confused with hormone therapy, which involves taking additional hormones to lead to physical changes associated with the individual’s desired gender identity. Instead, pubertal blockers are given to delay the onset of physical maturity until the patient is old enough, and mature enough, to make a more informed decision regarding hormone therapy and gender-affirming surgeries. Unfortunately, there is still a lot of confusion and controversy surrounding the use of puberty blockers. Some argue that since pubertal blockers are often not recommended until a patient is at least 16 years old, they are suggesting or advocating for assigning gender identity to younger individuals before they can fully understand and grasp the permanency of the decision. Others argue that the use of pubertal blockers is medically necessary, and that it gives individuals more time to make informed and thoughtful decisions about their future without the pressure of irreversible physical changes. It is important for individuals to research and understand the potential risks, side effects, and benefits of using puberty blockers before starting treatment. It is also vital to speak with knowledgeable and experienced healthcare professionals to get more information and guidance.

Trauma can be defined as an overwhelming amount of stress that exceeds one's ability to cope, or integrate the emotions involved with that experience. It is a disruption of emotional equilibrium that is often the result of a catastrophic event, accident, or a destruction of some kind. It is not only a collection of negative memories, but can also take the form of physical ailments, such as depression and anxiety, that can affect both your body and mental state. As time passes, unresolved trauma can become a chronic state of being, leaving an individual just barely afloat in an attempt to survive. When someone experiences something traumatic and it is left unresolved, they can be left feeling helpless, hopeless and out of control. The helplessness that can accompany unresolved trauma can manifest in the form of nightmares, insomnia, difficulty concentrating, irritability, poor appetite, racing thoughts, regressive behaviors, and even physical symptoms, such as aches, pains, and digestive issues. In these situations, the mind and body can become overwhelmed by stress. Consequently, an individual may resort to a survival mode in order to cope with unbearable feelings. Survival mode functioning starts from a state of being hyper-alert and vigilant --aroused and ready for survival at all times. You become an expert at scanning your environment for potential dangers and chase any “positive” moments of relief. The unfortunate side effect of this heightened alertness, however, is that it can cause significant psychological distress. Typically, unresolved trauma leads to people disengaging from the “normal” processes to heal and actively avoid certain triggers due to the fear of what may happen. This means that survivors of unresolved trauma might experience a deep sense of disconnection, unable to truly find comfort in relationships, job activities, social engagements, and even physical activities. One begins to build a false identity based on the automatic reactions to the trauma. Since feelings of shame and guilt are commonly experienced during these moments of isolation, an individual might neglect their own physical needs in hopes of avoiding any further discomfort. In some cases, self-medication may also come into play in an attempt to numb the pain. Unfortunately, unresolved trauma and the resulting cycles of avoidance and denial can significantly impair cognitive functioning and cause long-term psychological pain. Despite the best intentions, one's without seeking treatment remain at risk of engaging in destructive behaviors in an effort to protect themselves emotionally and spiritually. Fortunately, it is possible to move beyond the trauma and start taking steps towards healing and achieving growth. Mental health professionals, such as psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, and counselors, are trained to provide assistance to those dealing with unresolved trauma. Through one-on-one therapy sessions, along with supportive groups, individuals learn how to address the underlying causes of their pain, process memories, and begin to gain self-confidence and resilience. Connecting with a supportive community of fellow survivors who understand and know how to work through the complicated emotions linked to unresolved trauma can also prove to be extremely beneficial. Unresolved trauma can make it difficult to take steps towards full recovery, but with the right help, it’s possible to achieve a new level of peace and happiness. Taking care of oneself, both mentally and physically, is necessary for long-term healing. Engage in regular physical activity, practice mindful breathing, and cultivate healthy relationships with family and friends. By gradually rebuilding trust and relearning how to respond to life's trials, you have the power to find hope, joy, and strength.

Often, when talking about mental illnesses, many would point out the possibility of also having immense potential as a result. Schizotypy is one of such mental illnesses that, along with its associated symptoms, may bring very drastic changes to people. Those changes can result in both positive and negative outcomes, often bearing a remarkable resemblance to some aspects of other mental illnesses, such as those related to creativity and spirituality. So what exactly is schizotypy? How is it related to delusions and spiritual experiences? And how might this unique disorder affect creativity and the lives of people with it? Schizotypy is a personality disorder that includes a wide range of psychological symptoms ranging from mild social distancing to severe cognitive deficits. People with schizotypy tend to be more socially awkward and experience various degrees of disconnection from reality. They may display strange behavior, have unusually creative ideas, and be spiritually inclined. While still considered an illness, these individuals frequently report seeing, hearing or feeling things other people don't, which is thought to come from mood and cognitive deficits characteristic of schizotypy. However, it's important to note that not everyone with schizotypy exhibits behaviour that would indicate they are suffering from mental issues. When discussing schizotypy, much attention is usually paid to delusional thinking. This involves thoughts, ideas, and beliefs that exist without any evidence or logical explanation. Such delusions can range from relatively harmless things like believing there's a secret code in messages delivered through music or television shows to darker, more serious concepts where one believes that their life is being threatened by forces beyond their control. One of the most common delusions associated with schizotypy is religious delusions, where one may believe that God has chosen them for some divine mission or that they possess supernatural powers. Delusions of grandeur, often involving a high degree of self-importance, can be another manifestation of this condition. In such cases, people may feel like they are highly important and that they are destined for greatness. Such delusions are often accompanied by a sense of spiritual connection and a belief that their life is meaningful and has a higher purpose. And then there is the possibility of increased creativity associated with schizotypy. While this isn’t always the case, people with the disorder may find themselves developing ideas or engaging in activities they wouldn’t have normally done before. They also may have heightened sensitivity to stimuli and an ability to see connections or make leaps of logic that others don’t. This can manifest itself in the form of creative pursuits such as writing, art, music and design, or even more mundane activities like problem-solving and the ability to carry out complex tasks more efficiently. Such activities may help provide those living with schizotypy a distraction from their symptoms and give them a sense of purpose. It is possible to develop spiritually as well when living with schizotypy. Many people say that they feel more connected to the universe or that there is something higher guiding them. Such feelings could be comforting for someone suffering from depression and anxiety, giving them a sense of hope that things can improve. Additionally, other people with schizotypy may find that times of prayer or meditation can offer moments of respite or clarity necessary to ward off negative thoughts. The Curious Link Between Schizotypy and Creativity brings together many different aspects of mental illness in a unique way. The disorder is characterised by both positive and negative symptoms, and as a result, many of those affected find that their lives can be drastically altered in both good and bad ways. The presence of delusions, though they can be troublesome, may suggest a search for some higher meaning and purpose, while spiritual sentiments and increased creativity can help a person cope with difficult thoughts and feelings. Schizotypy is certainly an interesting and complex disorder, and understanding its effects on creativity is an important step towards understanding mental illness more broadly.

When we were children, did all of our emotional needs get met? Or did you have parents who were cold or unkind? Psychological wounds from our childhood experiences become the source of intense self-criticism in adulthood. In our adult lives, these wounds can lead to damaging internal dialogues and behaviours. Everyone has their own psychological landscape and it informs how they react to their environment. Failing to find love, security and trust in childhood creates insecure attachments that manifest later in life. People become emotionally frozen in time and start to believe - often incorrectly - that they're unworthy of love, safety and acceptance. These types of woundings have a great influence on how people feel about themselves as adults and can lead to a pattern of profound self-criticism. Self-criticism often comes in the form of negative judgement, blame and punishment. This is a contrast to treating oneself with understanding and compassion. Self-criticism brings people a false sense of control but it ultimately harms them more than it helps them. We may think we can motivate ourselves by punishing ourselves for perceived inadequacies, but this usually results in feelings of isolation, guilt and shame. Unfortunately, self-criticism can impede personal growth and impede people from reaching their full potential. But, there are ways to confront and challenge it. It's possible to recognize and acknowledge emotionally laden memories which then provides the opportunity to gain insight into patterns, feelings, and experiences. It also facilitates acknowledgment of unmet needs and, where possible, closure of childhood trauma. The most important element of healing is the willingness to see and accept the truth of our experiences, the compassion to understand and accept the wounds of the past and a commitment to personal growth. Engaging in self-reflection, developing a strong support system and building resilience will help us to reject self-criticism and embrace our authentic selves. Working diligently on personal development can change dysfunctional patterns and lead to personal transformation and growth.

When it comes to having to pick between important dates that conflict, it can be a difficult position to be in – and often, we have to make impossible choices. I was recently faced with having to decide whether or not I should take my much-anticipated beach holiday versus attending my sister’s wedding. After much deliberation, the choice for me was clear – the holiday won out. To those who find my decision selfish, I say this: I booked my holiday first – and there was never any expectation I had to choose one or the other. My family is close – as close as they come. We were all raised with the same values; to be kind and generous and to always show up for each other when needed. Over the years, I have done my bit. Everything from standing in as the de facto father figure when our own was absent, to being the peacekeeper of the family through the tough times and even throughout more mundane tasks such as running errands, picking up groceries and so on. In regard to the recent news of my little sister’s impending nuptials, I was equally as thrilled as the rest of them. I shared in her joy, her elation and her anticipation for it all to occur. That is, until I realized it would directly cut into my pre-planned vacation. It was a no-brainer. My vacation was my one this year and for months I had been planning for it. This wasn’t just any holiday; this was to be a special getaway where I could really switch off, indulge in some well deserved self-care, treat myself and unplug from the stress of work for a few weeks. Even before my sister had announced her wedding, I had already booked flights, accommodation, and activities. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I refused to let it slip through my fingers. That’s why I pushed back against being guilted into dropping it all because of my sister's wedding. It was never fair to expect me to do that. Sure, my family was still shocked and aghast at my lack of commitment to the wedding, but that didn’t faze me. I accepted their disappointment and went ahead with my plans. My parents and siblings didn't understand why I was seemingly so selfish, all I had worked for disappeared in their eyes the moment I made it known that I would spend the happiest day for my little sister on a beach instead. But it seemed like no amount of reasoning would convince them. At the end of the day, I didn’t care. I have done what I deemed best for me and I stand by that. Yes, it may have been hard for me to indicate that I wasn't available for my sister's wedding, but it was an action that was necessary to my well-being. In the future, I hope that everyone will have a better understanding of what really matters – which, in my opinion, is that life is to be enjoyed; goof times are best enjoyed as they come and if it’s something you feel is best for yourself in a particular moment, don’t let it slip away.

Working while caring for a baby is an admirable feat of multitasking that many new mothers are called to do. The long hours at the office taken away from the little one can leave moms feeling guilty; like they are shortchanging their maternal role. When a husband is fortunate enough to be able to stay home with the baby, it can be easy for a wife to quickly grow envious. With all these feelings of envy and guilt circulating, it’s important to take time and care to handle each situation properly. Doing so will ensure that neither spouse feels severely diminished. So what steps should a wife take when this dilemma comes to pass? First and foremost, communication is key. Though it may feel embarrassing or uncomfortable to openly discuss those pesky and complicated jealousies, it’s better to hash out any displeasure in an honest and mature manner. If understanding is not an instinctual attribute of a couple, then it can be helpful to attend counseling sessions with a trusted and knowledgeable practitioner. Second, the husband and wife have to rely on constructive actions, not harmful ones. This means that the husband needs to take time to recognize his wife’s hard work and continue to provide her with appreciation throughout the day. This might mean sending occasional sweet messages letting her know she is loved and thought about, even though she is not physically present. For the wife, her contributions to the family can still be recognized; just because she works does not mean she is less of a mother. Each person should strive to exhibit acts of kindness in order to show their love for each other. In addition to the communication and the actionable empathy from both the husband and wife, the wife must learn how to feel comfortable in the “new world order”. Blaming your spouse or yourself will not make matters better, or offer a solution. Instead, try to reframe the situation; focus on being both grateful that you have the ability to work, and fulfilled in the knowledge that you are able to provide a better life for your family. It’s also worth noting that no matter how good the intentions or the emotional investments are, it’s normal to feel jealous at times – both of the spouse’s role and of the ease with which they seem to make it work. That doesn’t mean you aren’t able to handle whatever task has been entrusted to you. It’s important to recognize that these situations can be chaotic, but there are potential solutions boiling beneath the surface. It's required that both parties remain patient with one another and extend each other grace. It won’t always be easy, but the end result will be well worth the effort of working through the struggles now.

Amidst the hustle and bustle of happy family festivities that typically come with marriage, bride Abigail found herself entangled in a thicket of worry, a knot of conflicting emotions. With a flood of tears streaming down her face, she's facing an impossible dilemma and after hours of contemplation, she made a brave decision. Abigail knew that if she cancelled her honeymoon due to the family emergency, she and her new husband would regret it for years to come. What was meant to be the magical start to her marriage was now turned into a bewilderment of hardship and uncertainty. How, she thought, when the foundations of our marriage start with a storm will we ever stand against anything else? But on the other hand, what kind of daughter puts her wants above her family’s needs? Her mind was torn between loyalty to her family and loyalty to her new husband. After a long pondering, Abigail decided to put family first despite the difficulty it would bring. With a heavy heart, Abigail told her husband her decision. As difficult as challenging his own wishes was, he ultimately supported Abigail in her devoted decision. Thinking of the marriage advice that had been given to them time and time again about putting each other first—on this day, Abigail was putting her family above all else. In parting, Abigail shed a tear and said, “No amount of vacations can ever compare to the love I have towards my family.” Off they went to help with whatever needed in the family emergency. Abigail packed her heavy heart in knowing she couldn't do both. Though, along the way to making this tough sacrifice she was reminded in how true love can bring out the best in times of hardship. Even if it would mean disappointing dreams of one or two sunsets on the beach and not being able to explore the Mediterranean.

With the rate of burnout higher than ever, it can be tempting to call it quits when you are feeling overwhelmed. But, before making a decision that could have long-term consequences, it is worth considering whether you will regret leaving your job. From the financial losses, to professional setbacks and the inconvenience of making a leap now, there are lots of reasons you may regret quitting your job too soon. The financial implications of leaving a job are often difficult to disregard. Without carefully budgeting and a financial cushion, walking away can cause not only a dropping in income but also many unforeseen expenses. Loss of potential bonuses, signing up for the new company's benefits or financing the interim period when you are out of work all add up to a costly experience. Moreover, without properly weighing in the cost of long-term debt incurred from relying too heavily on credit products such as a loan, you could potentially set yourself up for a lengthy payback period. Professionally, a terminated position also has other drawbacks. When an employer needs to replace you after a short period, it can be difficult to pitch future plans or endeavors to recruiters. There is a risk that shifting jobs too quickly can result in serious challenges getting your foot in the door of desirable positions. Furthermore, the process of finding a new job is often arduous and time consuming. Long hours spent writing resumes, searching job boards and attending interviews can further add to any burnout you are already feeling. As a result, the downside of quitting your job without considering all the major implications, can quickly add up. Amidst all of these worries, it can be hard to focus on the positive aspects of returning to the workforce. A potential salary increase, networking opportunities, access to skills’ resources or the joy of rekindling old relationships with colleagues are all points to consider when thinking about making a change. Search for another job can be thrilling yet overwhelming - and the financial and professional consequences worth considering. A potential loss of income, the toll of seeking a job, the incurring of unforeseen costs such as benefits or loans and the possible roadblocks when looking for a dream job are all outcomes regretfully associated with walking away. Therefore, reflected carefully on what could lie ahead, a more timely decision can be made.

My heart stopped when I read the text from my partner: “I have to do this, goodbye.” I never expected those words to be followed by a single gunshot. Shaking, I grabbed my keys and rushed to the scene; only arriving shortly after he had taken his own life. My mind raced with so many questions. Why did he do it? What had happened? What could I have done differently? As my emotions took over, so did a daunting suspicion. Could he have cheated? The thought of infidelity felt like a dagger through my heart. The idea that he had been unfaithful was unbearable. But if I were honest with myself, there were signs. Signs that I should have listened to or noticed but instead chose to ignore. It was hard to process these feelings of betrayal and grief at the same time. How can someone feel so love and anger simultaneously? So, what should I do if I think he might have cheated? First, it is important to remember that no matter what we discover about him, there is still a need for self-care. The overwhelming emotions that have arisen are valid, yet should not be allowed to consume our lives. Second, it is worth acknowledging that our doubts may not be correct. In any case, there is no way to know for sure. My partner is gone and I must accept that his secrets have gone with him. Third, it is necessary to seek out professional help. Finding a support network or talking to a therapist can help give us a safe space to work through our feelings as well as to understand how to move forward. Finally, it is essential to let go of all the “what-ifs” and “whys” that plague our mind. Turning guilt and regret into acceptance can eventually lead to a peaceful healing process. These steps may not provide the answers that I am searching for. However, they can offer some form of closure and give perspective on how to navigate my chaotic emotions.

John Maverick was looking for love in all the wrong places – or, more accurately, he was looking for things he shouldn't have. In a moment of misguided desperation, the single and lonely 25-year-old asked his date to send him a picture of a random body part. The request could have gone unnoticed had it not been for his date’s social media call-out, condemning Maverick with a flurry of moral outrage. It all began when Maverick and his date, who we will refer to as Ms. J, went out to dinner. Things progressed normally until they finished their meal when Maverick suddenly asked if Ms. J would send him “a pic of some random body part, nothing too crazy”. An awkward silence followed as Maverick sheepishly waited for a response. Ms. J could hardly believe what she had heard and replied “I'm sorry, what?” feeling a mix of shock and confusion. After stumbling over a few excuses and feeble attempts at justifying his request, Maverick gave up, knowing he had crossed the line. All he wanted was to get out of this awkward encounter as soon as possible. Soon after, Ms. J took to Twitter to vent her frustrations, detailing the evening’s events from her perspective with a scathing hashtag: boybye. Unsurprisingly, the post went viral and Maverick was met with a tidal wave of backlash from social media users appalled by his actions. Many called him out for being a “creep” and for having the lack of respect to ask such an inappropriate request of his date. Maverick’s shame was only further compounded when his mother chimed in, making her public disapproval of his behavior known to all. Social media justice had been served and many praised Ms. J for standing up for herself and drawing attention to a subject so often kept silent in fear of judgement or embarrassment. With one night and two tweets, Maverick learned an important lesson about how powerful words can be, both good and bad. Not only had he lost a potential partner, he had also made a fool of himself, a mistake he vowed never to make again.

It was February 2015 when I walked into The Kitchen Place for the first time. It wasn't technically my first job; I'd been an intern for a few months earlier in the year. But, it was the first job I had where my introverted boss, "AJ", would be both my direct supervisor and quickly become my closest friend. At first glance, you wouldn't have thought AJ was a badass. He was in his late 30s and had a scruffy beard, skinny jeans and a stained t-shirt every day. His eyes were hidden behind thick-rimmed glasses and a deep frown. He kept to himself, kept the kitchen organized and knew everyone's order in a way that was slightly intimidating. I knew he was an introvert and that made me feel better. I thought of him as a kindred spirit, someone who also had trouble socializing and sometimes felt overwhelmed by the unknown. Like me, AJ had quit his job in the corporate world and taken a huge risk to start this business. One day, during a lull in the lunch-rush, I showed AJ what I'd been working on – a project that I was passionate about. My eyes shone with excitement as I shared with him how I wanted to make a difference in the world through my work. AJ pushed his glasses up to peer over them at me. "That's really cool," he said, simply. For the next few hours I was terrified that AJ somehow found out I wasn't fit for the job, but something strange and unexpected happened. We talked about our lives and what gives it meaning and purpose. For the first time I was sharing with someone who truly accepted and understood me. Days passed, and I started to see AJ in a different light. He was like a mentor and a father-figure to me. He was there to listen and to give me advice, to celebrate successes and commiserate losses. AJ often only used a few words, but those words were well-chosen and impactful. When I made a mistake, he often stepped in to fix it, but he did so in a firm yet gentle way. Soon I learned that AJ wasn't just a badass in terms of his career, but he was also a badass in his relationships. Whenever we talked, he was always busy, but he made time for me. He was kind and compassionate towards people, regardless of their social status. He genuinely tried to help his employees – no matter who they were or what their personal struggles were. AJ taught me that compromise isn't always necessary, and that being yourself is always the best approach. He showed me what true humility looks like. But, more than anything, he showed me that being an introvert doesn't make you weak – it makes you strong. Most importantly, he taught me the power of genuine friendship – something that I don't think I ever knew before knowing AJ. He became more than a boss to me, he became a friend. It's because of him that I'm passionate about helping others find their true selves. At the root of it all, AJ has given my life meaning and purpose. I'm forever grateful for this badass introvert boss turned friend, who showed me a whole new way of looking at life.

Have you ever taken time to stop, look around and ask yourself if you're truly happy? For many, the answer is often no. Happiness is something that we dream of, but often fail to consistently pursue on a daily basis. However, there are certain practices we can adopt that can lead us to increased contentment and joy that, over time, contribute to transform our lives. Here are twelve science-backed ways for doing just that. First, one essential way of being happier is to cultivate meaningful and positive relationships with those around you. Spend meaningful time with friends and family, cultivate social ties and support basic human connection. Social connection has been found to be extremely beneficial for our overall health and well-being, including reducing loneliness and anxiety and improving our mood. Building upon this idea, indulging in acts of compassion, charity and selflessness can also boost our happiness levels. Taking the focus off of our own stresses and worries and engaging in activities and tasks outside of ourselves can help us to experience a sense of belonging, purpose and confidence. Next, engaging in mindful activity is another way of building upon joy and inner peace. Taking the time to meditate, practice yoga or engage in any other form of breathwork can act to help us build upon our inner consciousness and get in touch with our emotional world. This will allow us to increase focus and foster greater self-confidence, enabling us to further bolster our feelings of joy. Third, using the power of gratitude is another powerful way to increase happiness levels. Engaging in basic acts of gratitude — such as making lists of the things you are grateful for each day — can lead to you feeling more contentment over your current situation as well as to increases of satisfaction and optimism. Studies have also found that gratitude may reduce anger, depression and fatigue, acting to create an even more powerful effect on happiness levels. Fourth, pursuing activities we enjoy can bring satisfaction and ultimately lead to feelings of joy. Find activities which bring you peace and pleasure and practice them on a daily basis. Whether reading, creating art, playing sports, taking classes or just simply going for a walk to your local park, focusing our energy on activities which make us feel good will help us to increase our happiness levels. Fifth, experiencing physical touch on a regular basis can lead to further increases in happiness levels. Physical touch — such as hugging, holding hands, handshaking, cuddling and massage — can help us to release happy hormones such as oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin, all leading to heightened feelings of joy and relaxation. By incorporating these activities into our daily life, we may find our overall outlook to become more positive. Sixth, allowing ourselves to laugh more often can help to reduce stress and anxiety. Finding moments to spend in light-hearted activities such as telling jokes, watching funny movies or playing around with our friends can benefit us drastically. Doing so provides us with frequent releases of endorphins, enabling us to combat fatigue, reduce depression and invoke happiness. Seventh, a practice that science has proven to be beneficial in providing us joy is spending time in nature. Nature can provide us with a sense awe — evidenced by relaxation and heightened attention — as well as quietness and distraction-free space away from expectations of society. All of this can help us to reduce our stress levels and find momentary bliss. Eighth, embarking on deep, interesting conversations with those around us may help deepen appreciation for our lives. Listening to the stories of others with an open-mind can enable us to gain remarkable insights and put our own problems into perspective. The act of listening will also help us to reaffirm the importance of basic relational elements that contribute to joy. Ninth, placing importance on the act of living more in the present moment can also bring higher levels of contentment. Disengaging from the worries of the day and refocusing our energy on being here and now can help us to appreciate what is going on within and around us. Paying attention to simple things such as the feeling of the breeze, the sound of a bird's chirp or the sensation of the sun's rays can create a profound sense of calmness and peace. Tenth, engaging in tasks that challenge and push us out of our comfort zones can also lead to further happiness. These types of activities can help us to expand our knowledge, build confidence and experience moments of personal gratification. Not only do we develop certain skills and abilities, but completing these tasks acts to bring a sense of accomplishment and security. Eleventh, honoring and appreciating our successes, as well as our failures, can bring both reward and release. This can involve establishing goals for ourselves to complete, such as small ones that are easily achievable, medium ones for more satisfaction and large ones for feelings of pride. Regular reflection and reward can enable us to not just recognize our wins, but also to forgive ourselves for where we’ve failed. Thus, we can begin to move past those mistakes without judgment and learn to accept our circumstances. Finally, participating in random acts of kindness can help to bring a greater level of joy to both ourselves and those around us. Doing something thoughtful every day — whether offering to pick up groceries for a friend, opening the door for a stranger or donating some of your old clothes — can make all the difference. Studies have shown that these actions can produce oxytocin, the “love hormone”, promoting kindness and love in our immediate and surrounding environment. There are plenty of options to choose from when it comes to adding more joy into your own life. How we choose to use our time and energy determines how much joy and laughter we will ultimately experience now and in the future. Scientifically speaking, there are twelve great ways for doing just that.

In a society where its traditional concept of the nuclear family is slowly being reinvented, more and more women are choosing to stay single. According to the latest stats from the U.S. Census Bureau, single mothers make up more than 40 percent of all women-headed households, an increase of almost 20 percent in just the last decade. With more women choosing to go solo, the impact on the economy is already beginning to be felt--and it's only going to get bigger. The rise in the number of single women affects us all. It could mean more entrepreneurial companies as more women become financially responsible for themselves, more female leaders and more pressure on employers to offer better wages and benefits so that women can stay in the workforce and access economic stability. The shift definitely has the potential to reshape not only our economy but also the way society looks at the role women play in it. For one, the trend towards single women is causing the gender wage gap to shrink. Women now make up almost half of the work force and that presents employers with a new incentive to pay them what they’re worth. This could help close loopholes and address long-term implications that are still present in the pay gap caused by years of sexism. There is also a ripple effect in terms of lifestyle modifications such as how much one spends on food, clothing, housing, services and even leisure activities. For example, when women are solely responsible for their incomes, they are more likely to invest in buying experiences over things – a trend geared towards experiences, not acquisition. At the same time, single mothers are often faced with unique challenges that can limit their ability to advance their career or build wealth. High rent, childcare and medical issues that could come with health care cuts pose considerable problems. Additionally, current gaps in public policy can make it harder for single mothers to stay employed, especially if they need flexible hours, are worried about getting fired or don’t have access to paid leave. This makes it all the more important for society to ensure fair access to jobs, adequate workforce development plans, salary and labor laws that protect the rights of individuals and reasonable regulations that allow for people to take advantage of entrepreneurial opportunities and technologies such as digital currency, investments and crowd funding. These changes should pay off for single mothers and their children in the long run. However, there’s no timeline—or guarantee—of when the broken gender norms that surround single women will catch up with the financial reality of their situations. Until then, individuals, societies and organizations must work together to create a society where everyone can thrive.

Depression, one of the most devastating mental illnesses, is rarely talked about openly and its diagnosis is often made harder by the difficulty of describing its symptoms. It is characterized by changes in subjective experience that cannot easily be explained by traditional psychiatric or scientific terms. However, there is a new hypothesis that suggests depression is an altered state of consciousness, which could offer insights into better diagnosing this condition. We all dream, and many of us experience nightmares; this reveals a connection between consciousness and emotional states. In similar fashion, our everyday consciousness exists in a sequence of dynamic and ever-shifting states we call “moods”. Fluctuations in mood can lead to intense sensations of sadness or joy. Over longer periods, fluctuations in mood can result in sustained changes in our consciousness—such as depression. Depression has its own unique characteristics which can be identified if we view it as an altered state. For instance, during periods of depression, the individual might feel less energy than usual, and experience lack of focus and concentration. Additionally, other cognitive articles can be noticed such as disrupted sleep patterns and unusual attention spans. Most commonly, deep feelings of hopelessness will emerge. Interestingly, research has also revealed that certain types of emotions can induce an altered state. Intense feelings of despair, words of anticipatory defeat, and what psychologists term ‘cognitive distortions’ can all affect the depressed person’s conscious reality and ultimately their ability to cope with everyday life. These feelings can cause an interference in normal thought processes and a distorted sense of reality. Thus, the evidence demonstrates that depression is a complex series of alterations to one's consciousness. It is important that we understand it as such, in order to better diagnose it. To do so, developing an objective diagnostic tool is paramount. This could be based on measurements such as activity in particular areas of the brain, heart rate, and respiration. It would build upon the pioneering work that has already been done linking emotional states and physical measures. Furthermore, given the dynamic nature of consciousness, it is possible that depression might respond well to treatments that focus on shifting the patient’s state – such as meditation, yoga, and mindfulness. Interventions such as these have been suggested before, but they were always lacking reliable ways of assessing success or confirming changes in consciousness. That may no longer be the case: we now have new tools such as EEGs and MRI scans to identify and track even subtle changes in the brain. The hope is that identifying depression as a natural altered state of consciousness will further our understanding of the illness and inform more effective treatment programs. Diagnosing depression accurately could reduce the stigma surrounding the illness and bring medical professionals closer to finding solutions for the millions who suffer from it.

Money and the psychology of investing go hand in hand. From stock market risks to real estate opportunities, making wise investment choices requires understanding our own psychology as well as that of the markets. We must be able to recognize and mitigate risk; but what does this really mean when it comes to our own psychology? When taking risks with our hard-earned money, our mind is at the forefront. What drives us to choose one investment over another? What makes us believe a particular venture will pay off? How do we analyze our own financial profiles in light of the decisions we make? These are psychological questions all investors, whether novice or experienced, must consider when allocating their funds. Though some factors, such as past performance, may seem logical and concrete, there is an element of psychology to each investment which can mean the difference between success and failure. An individual’s financial outlook can often be a good indication of how they view risk versus reward. Those who take greater risks tend to be more optimistic about the outcome; where a person perceives risks as greater, they are likely to be more cautious and conservative with their investments. Risk also has an emotional component. Research suggests that people’s perception of risky investments is based on their experiences and expectations, which can be difficult to accurately predict or quantify. Fear is a powerful force in investing; even those who have the ability to objectively evaluate the odds are sometimes swayed by emotion. Knowing when to trust one’s instincts and when to ignore them is a key part of managing investment risks. Having an objective understanding of risks is not enough. We need to know ourselves and our triggers in order to remain aware of any psychological pitfalls. Our personality type and our specific means of processing data determine how we figure out what investments to make and which ones to avoid. Analyzing risk with both logic and emotion can help us understand our own psychology and use it to make smarter decisions. The key is to balance our own biases with knowledge from external sources. We should remember that when it comes to risk, having a sound mental strategy is just as important as having a healthy financial portfolio.