Taking a Holiday Over My Sister's Wedding - Selfish or Necessary?

When it comes to having to pick between important dates that conflict, it can be a difficult position to be in – and often, we have to make impossible choices. I was recently faced with having to decide whether or not I should take my much-anticipated beach holiday versus attending my sister’s wedding. After much deliberation, the choice for me was clear – the holiday won out. To those who find my decision selfish, I say this: I booked my holiday first – and there was never any expectation I had to choose one or the other.

My family is close – as close as they come. We were all raised with the same values; to be kind and generous and to always show up for each other when needed. Over the years, I have done my bit. Everything from standing in as the de facto father figure when our own was absent, to being the peacekeeper of the family through the tough times and even throughout more mundane tasks such as running errands, picking up groceries and so on.

In regard to the recent news of my little sister’s impending nuptials, I was equally as thrilled as the rest of them. I shared in her joy, her elation and her anticipation for it all to occur. That is, until I realized it would directly cut into my pre-planned vacation.

It was a no-brainer.

My vacation was my one this year and for months I had been planning for it. This wasn’t just any holiday; this was to be a special getaway where I could really switch off, indulge in some well deserved self-care, treat myself and unplug from the stress of work for a few weeks. Even before my sister had announced her wedding, I had already booked flights, accommodation, and activities. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I refused to let it slip through my fingers.

That’s why I pushed back against being guilted into dropping it all because of my sister's wedding. It was never fair to expect me to do that. Sure, my family was still shocked and aghast at my lack of commitment to the wedding, but that didn’t faze me. I accepted their disappointment and went ahead with my plans.

My parents and siblings didn't understand why I was seemingly so selfish, all I had worked for disappeared in their eyes the moment I made it known that I would spend the happiest day for my little sister on a beach instead. But it seemed like no amount of reasoning would convince them.

At the end of the day, I didn’t care. I have done what I deemed best for me and I stand by that. Yes, it may have been hard for me to indicate that I wasn't available for my sister's wedding, but it was an action that was necessary to my well-being.

In the future, I hope that everyone will have a better understanding of what really matters – which, in my opinion, is that life is to be enjoyed; goof times are best enjoyed as they come and if it’s something you feel is best for yourself in a particular moment, don’t let it slip away.