Luke49 Posted March 10 Share Posted March 10 Hii, Lately i am having trouble forgetting the past events, i had a fight with my friend and we don't talk anymore, it's been a month now, from past few days i am just thinking about it over and over. Can someone please tell me how do we move on from the past events, because i am aware that thinking about the past or living in the past won't get me anywhere in life. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 10 Share Posted March 10 1 minute ago, Luke49 said: , i had a fight with my friend and we don't talk anymore, it's been a month now, It depends on what the argument was about. How long have you been friends? 1 Link to comment
Luke49 Posted March 10 Author Share Posted March 10 54 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: It depends on what the argument was about. How long have you been friends? We have been friends for 6 months and the argument was about a trip we forgot to ask me and he got pissed Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 10 Share Posted March 10 40 minutes ago, Luke49 said: We have been friends for 6 months and the argument was about a trip we forgot to ask me and he got pissed How do you know each other and what trip was forgotten? Is there a romantic interest here? Seems like a petty reason to stop talking. 1 Link to comment
Luke49 Posted March 10 Author Share Posted March 10 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: How do you know each other and what trip was forgotten? Is there a romantic interest here? Seems like a petty reason to stop talking. We are both guys and we were good friends. We know each other in college, and it was a road trip and we were 5 friends and we forgot to ask him. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 10 Share Posted March 10 2 minutes ago, Luke49 said: We are both guys and we were good friends. We know each other in college, and it was a road trip and we were 5 friends and we forgot to ask him. You all forgot - to ask your friend? Did you apologize? Why was it a "fight" when he was the person who was treated thoughtlessly? 2 Link to comment
TeeDee Posted March 10 Share Posted March 10 Holding on to resentment eats at you. Acknowledge how hurt the guy felt. He was left out. This is not a casual thing. He feels rejected. If you did anything other than a giant mea culpa with some serious sucking up to make it up to him you were in the wrong. You will feel much better if you reach out & mend fences. 1 1 Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted March 10 Share Posted March 10 31 minutes ago, Luke49 said: we were 5 friends and we forgot to ask him. Sorry, but I don't buy that. I don't see how you "forgot" to invite someone who is supposedly your good friend. 3 Link to comment
Tinydance Posted March 10 Share Posted March 10 Well I'm not sure how to stop thinking about the past because I'm also someone who gets really stuck in the past and ruminates. I think that some thinking about the past is actually understandable and especially if it's recent past. This guy stopped talking to you only a month ago so it's not like it was many years ago. Have you actually apologised to him about what happened? Have you been trying to contact him? How old are you guys? Some things actually can be fixable but you need to make an effort and show this friend that he's important to you. Maybe invite him on a trip just you and him. 1 Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 10 Share Posted March 10 5 hours ago, Luke49 said: it was a road trip and we were 5 friends and we forgot to ask him. Just apologize for excluding him. 1 Link to comment
Luke49 Posted March 11 Author Share Posted March 11 I apologized to him with my heart that it was just the excitement of the trip and we forgot to ask and then i tried to talk to him every single day, but he just responds in on word, for example i ask him " How is your day going brother? " And he replies "good" And then just walks away. After trying for many days i finally gave up thinking i tried everything to save the bond, apologized, tried to make it up for It, tried to talk to him again. But nothing worked so i stopped trying. We know it was our fault but, but it happened. And i tried my. Best to make up for my mistake. What else, i can't go back and change the past. So what should i do now? I think we already ***ed up the bond and now he is not willing to forgive us.and i understand if he doesn't forgive, but it happened. And did my best to fix the mistake. Link to comment
Luke49 Posted March 11 Author Share Posted March 11 12 hours ago, Batya33 said: You all forgot - to ask your friend? Did you apologize? Why was it a "fight" when he was the person who was treated thoughtlessly? I have a lot of friends in college, maybe like 50-60 or even more, and me and my other few friends were chilling one day and just decided to go on a road trip and we did the packing and left by the night. We didn't even think about asking anyone. It was like " Hey, let's go on a trip" And everyone said " Lets do it" Link to comment
Luke49 Posted March 11 Author Share Posted March 11 7 hours ago, Tinydance said: Well I'm not sure how to stop thinking about the past because I'm also someone who gets really stuck in the past and ruminates. I think that some thinking about the past is actually understandable and especially if it's recent past. This guy stopped talking to you only a month ago so it's not like it was many years ago. Have you actually apologised to him about what happened? Have you been trying to contact him? How old are you guys? Some things actually can be fixable but you need to make an effort and show this friend that he's important to you. Maybe invite him on a trip just you and him. I tried to reach out many times and I made a lot of efforts to make it up for it. He didn't care about any of the efforts or the apology. There is not much i can do now. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted March 11 Share Posted March 11 1 hour ago, Luke49 said: We didn't even think about asking anyone. But you said earlier you forgot to ask him. That isn't the same as what you are saying here. Look, you hurt him. He obviously felt left out and understanably so. Of all these friends you say you have, I highly doubt they are all what you would call "good" friends. But you described this guy that way. And yet somehow, you didn't invite him. 1 hour ago, Luke49 said: He didn't care about any of the efforts or the apology. There is not much i can do now He doesn't owe you that. I agree there is not much more you can do, but accept that you damaged the friendship and keep moving. Learn from this. 1 Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 11 Share Posted March 11 You don't get to choose your "victims" - I agree with Canuck you changed your story. Most people wouldn't be upset by a very last minute plan. Also was this posted on social media? It probably looked like it wasn't a last minute plan - and "forgetting" - did your former friend remember to invite you places?? Link to comment
TeeDee Posted March 11 Share Posted March 11 It was a last minute thing & you all got caught up in the moment. You were focused on the people in front of you. Some time has passed. Perhaps his hurt & anger have subsided. Reach out. Tell him you miss him & ask to get together to do whatever you used to do together. If he can't or won't forgive you, then at least you will know you tried & that should help you let go. Link to comment
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