Overcoming Jealousy: Knowing When To Reel It In

The moment we feel our relationships are at risk, it's not uncommon to succumb to jealousy. It's like a reflex gain, an abiding instinct of self-protection at the hint of a possible danger. Since no one wants to be left vulnerable and unprotected, once this strong emotion is triggered the natural tendency for most is to nurture the feeling and hold on tight. Often it's precisely that holding on too tight that does the most damage i.e. pushing away our beloved.

Jealousy can take many forms and have varying degrees of intensity, from casually squashing of certain doubts to being driven by uncontrollable rage or insecurities. The feeling of doubt and anxiety about losing a partner due to potential betrayal or infidelity can lead to a range of obsessive behaviors such as obsessing over our partner's moves - where they go, who they see, when they come back etc. Such doubt and fear can push us into self-destructive patterns like controlling and manipulating behavior. The more we give into those urges, the more our partner will be pushed away and the less they will trust us.

So how do we break the cycle of jealousy without letting its power creep up on us yet again? The first step is learning to identify when these feelings start to emerge. If you recognize its familiar fixations every single time, it will be much easier to put up effective measures to curtail its effects. When we recognize its signs it's much simpler to analyze and examine why we are feeling so insecure, uneasy or threatened. Once we understand the root cause of our anxieties, the patterns could be broken by coming up with strategies and tactics to counter the obsessive thoughts – to replace those stressful worries with something positive instead.

Coming from the angle that we’re not challenging our partner’s trustworthiness but rather trying to build trust and overcome our own insecurities, we could focus on strengthening the foundations of our relationship and actively working on building a foundation of mutual respect and understanding. Whenever possible, also prioritize self-care and try to relax, recharge and rejuvenate through self-nurturing practices. This can make it easier to deploy psychological tools to adjust our own personal approach and attitude towards relationships.

Learning to become more mindful and tap into our emotional intelligence can also be a great help in tackling jealousy. Cultivating acceptance and appreciation of ourselves can give us the confidence to reach out to our partner and spend quality time with them while leaning in to being more trusting and embracing open dialogues. Applying mindfulness techniques to relieve stress and anxieties can also prove highly useful in training ourselves to override the jealousy triggers whenever they appear.

Finally, if one feels overwhelmed and unable to control their jealous thoughts or irrational behaviors, enlisting the help of a certified mental health practitioner can be extremely beneficial. It’s never too late to benefit from outside perspectives and professional advice in order to learn appropriate coping mechanisms which can help us regain strength and stability within our relationships.

Pushing away our partners or loved ones due to our jealous behaviors is a destructive pattern that should be avoided. By recognizing the signs, understanding the root causes of our doubts and anxieties, seeking help from professionals when needed, along with appreciating, accepting and valuing ourselves, we can address our jealous feelings and ultimately strengthen our relationship by building bridges of mutual trust and respect.