The Jealousy That Is Eating Me Up Inside: How to Reclaim Your Happiness

It’s a truly disheartening feeling, when emotions of envy and jealousy hold us back from living our best lives. We all have felt that heavy clench in our stomach as we stare at someone seemingly living out their dream life, wondering why that isn’t us instead. It can be truly discouraging. But the important thing to remember is that jealousy does not have to consume you; it does not have to drag you down into an abyss of darkness and despair.

This exact situation was the one presented by the user who posted previously – they felt so intensely jealous of another person, but with clear valid reason. They were struggling to make sense of their emotions, not knowing what to do to reclaim their happiness.

We want to remind everyone going through this situation that having feelings of envy and anger is completely normal. It’s human nature to compare ourselves to others, look at what they are doing and feeling inferior. But it is possible to reframe these thoughts and put things in perspective, in order to find contentment within ourselves. It takes time and practice, but it is possible. 

An important realization to come to is that a large portion of what we perceive to be others “success or happiness” is highly subjective. As the old saying goes, “what’s good for the goose is not always good for the gander”. Everyone has different values, different dreams and different paths available to them. Try to remember this during any moments of extreme jealousy, and that others’ success or current life situation may not appeal to you at all, if you took the time to learn all of the details.

In addition, try to take a step back and objectively compare yourself to the other person. Remind yourself of all that you achieved, your strengths and all of the positive experiences you have had in life. Understanding your own successful moments, even in contrast to somebody else’s great things, can help to encourage you and bring back the happiness you were missing.

On top of being your personal cheerleader, try to look for other ways to engage in activities and interests that will bring joy in your life, and will give you that sense of accomplishment and pride that you need. For example, if you are jealous of someone’s finances, focus on ways to save up money and create financial stability for yourself, and reminisce on the feelings of success when that goal is reached.

Another important piece of advice is to nip the unhealthy comparison in the bud. Face those negative thoughts head-on and challenge the thoughts which come to the surface. Reframe those intense feelings of inadequacy, and try to move towards equanimity and balance. Please understand that yourself and the other are two separate individuals, both equally capable and talented, yet also profoundly different.

Having feelings of jealousy is normal and understandable. You should take the time to experiment and figure out the best ways to reclaim your happiness, whatever these may look like on an individual level. And although it can be easier said than done, it’s important to realize that these two people are different, and should be treated with respect accordingly.