Arrowsmith
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Everything posted by Arrowsmith
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Sorry the weekends are hard. I know what you mean. I wish I could give you a hug and chocolate cookie.
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Well, it just so happens that I'm uncircumsized too. I've never had a girl balk at this, but I supposed some might. Do you have any reason to think that your gf would be any different with a circumsized guy? Maybe she just doesn't like the idea of giving oral/manual sex in general.
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Naturally, I told her I had herpes before we had any sexual contact at all. I strongly suspect that's why she doesn't want to give me oral sex (although it's actually safer than kissing someone with oral herpes). Thanks for the thin/flavored condom suggestion -- it's worth a try!
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I have been dating a 25 year old woman for 6 weeks. Our relationship became intimate pretty fast by my standards (~week 2). I give her oral sex (usually to orgasm) pretty much every time we have intercourse (~3x week). She has never given me oral sex, but I would like her to. "Just ask her", you say. Well, it's complicated: I have genital herpes and she's never had a cold sore. I always use condoms for intercourse. I have never used a condom for oral sex. I have received oral sex many times in the past, and never infected anyone to the best of my knowledge. I'm not sure how to handle this situation. Just suck it up and resign myself to intercourse only? Talk to her about it explicitly? Wait a while and then talk to her about it explicitly? Hint at it? Find a new gf?
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Ta Re Saw, of course those tests are sensitive to your current mood. How could it be otherwise? Don't worry. Take the test again in a few months.
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It's totally normal, don't worry. How long were you going out for? I think the amount of time it takes to get over something depends on how long you were together. How many boyfriends have you had? It's easy to worry that you won't find anyone else with the desired good traits, but I think you'll be pleasantly surprised to discover that you can!
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Are you on any medications? Any recreational drug use?
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Do you know if you get erections when you sleep/when you first wake up in the morning?
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I've thought about this issue quite a bit. I really like it when a girl will let me cum in her mouth, and I like it when she swallows. I think there are at least three reasons for this. 1) it feels nice to cum inside something warm and wet. 2) it's nice to feel accepted and not disgusting. 3) there is a bit of a power element to it -- knowing that a girl is willing to do that for me (admittedly, it's a bit gross) is a turn on -- what can I say? That having been said - you shouldn't feel compelled to swallow nor to let him cum in your mouth. My current gf won't give me oral sex at all, and I'm still with her lol.
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Have you hugged her? It sounds kind of cliche, but I think the best time to break the physical barrier is when you are parting company, preferably in the evening when no one is around. Just give her a goodbye hug, or if you've already done that, you can try for the goodbye kiss. Keep in mind that she already likes you so the chance of rejection is smaller than it would be otherwise.
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Aren't you glad you didn't sleep with him?
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Hate to say it, but sexual favors go a pretty long way...
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M. it's easy -- women tend to have a higher threshold for dating guys then guys do for dating women. I know lots of guys who would love to date a few cute girls per year. I know fewer women to whom that scenario is attractive. Also, since BrokenHeartGirl is a girl, she probably knows what she's talking about.
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I wholeheartedly respect the opinion of Superfreak, above. But I'd like to add that there is a potential hidden cost to pursuing a guy -- if he's lukewarm about you he might go out with you just because he can. I guess the fact that you guys are already friends puts up a small energy barrier, but still don't put yourself in a position where he knows you like him and takes advantage of that fact.
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I would defintely assume she likes me and is at least interested in the idea of being > friends.
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Extremely jealous of a good friend ( long post )
Arrowsmith replied to Cyberchick's topic in Friendship and Friends
I once had a friend that I was similarly jealous of (in my case too, the jealousy revolved around dating - probably a common theme). My thoughts on the subject: if hanging out with a person hurts you, you shouldn't hang out with that person. On the other hand, if you get a lot out of the friendship (support, companionship, etc.) weigh that against your jealously in making your decision. I read an interesting study once that said that poor people who live among poor people are happier than poor people who live among rich people. Makes sense, right? Our concepts of ourselves -- our strengths and weaknesses, how fortunate or unfortunate we are -- comes from a comparison with the people that immediately surround us. How else could you make these judgements? -
Bekah, I think you're doing the right thing. I don't know what your reasons are for waiting until marriage to have sex, but a pretty good one is that it's something that you have that he wants - and you have to let him know that sex with you is something precious. I guarentee you that he's hoping you'll change your mind. Realize, however, that when a guy is used to having sex extended kissing/cuddling without release is a frustrating experience -- more negative than positive.
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Need some advice from some of the men out there!
Arrowsmith replied to ang3l2004's topic in Dating Advice
1) If he does things for you that cost him in some way ($, time, effort, etc.) 2) Sure, there are a number of reasons a guy might act this way. 3) Even asking won't tell you want you want to know. If he likes you enough, he'll act on it. 4) Oops -- misread this one initially -- see ShySoul's response to this 5) Sometimes 6) See the answer to question #1 7) Shared experiences. Private jokes. Helping each other through hard times. -
wierd or bizarre sexual experiences "woooohooo"
Arrowsmith replied to shiminimo's topic in Sex and Romance
My advice: relish the memories and write them up on enotalone.com. Wait a minute... -
Rereading my earlier post, I now see that my "masturbating inside a vagina" comment was a bit more provocative than I'd intended it. I certaintly don't mean to offend anyone here. ShySoul, I respect your opinions too, and I appreciate your acknowledging mine. You're right: my approach to life avoids the high-highs and low-lows. It doesn't feel like a deliberate choice on my part - it's just feels like my temperment. I'm not sure how much control I actually have over that. Burning, I think lots of people (especially on enotalone) see sex as a deep expression of emotion. I'm not sure why I don't. To me, sex among all animals is basically equivalent: sex is about making babies, and sex between a man and a woman is essentially identical to sex between a male and female raccoon. Maybe if you could talk to a salmon about spawning, it would describe it as a deeply spiritual experience. Often when I look someone in the eye, I think about the fact that I'm only seeing the tiny piece of their eye that in exposed through the hole in their skin, and the actual eye is a ball, held in place by muscles, rotating in a socket. That's a bit of a tangent for sure, but I think it captures how the world looks to me.
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ShySoul, well, I *do* regret losing my virginity to that friend of mine, but maybe not for the reasons you suspect. I ended up getting hurt by the experience, but that was largely because she had some psychological issues that I didn't fully appreciated at the time. As for whether I would again lose my viriginity for the sake of losing my viriginity -- I'm afraid the answer is "yes". I'm not bothered by the fact that I can dissociate sex from love. In fact, it's occasionally a good thing, I think, since it avoids a certain amount of emotional pain. On the other hand, if I were guaranteed that everything would "work out" (in some ill-defined sense) I would certainly rather have sex and love integrally connected. Perhaps mine isn't the healthiest outlook, but it's one that works for me. It's hard for me to know whether I'd be happier if I'd made other specific choices.
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I suppose in some sort of ideal, romantic world sex would be exclusively sacred. But in this world different people have sex for diffferent reasons. I lost my viriginity to a friend that I didn't even find particularly attractive, but I wanted to have had sex (even more than I wanted to have sex, which is a subtle more important distinction). That seemed like a pretty decent reason to me at the time.
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For what it's worth I've never had sex with a virgin, and I don't really consider it an issue at all. Sex is essentially masturbating inside a vagina, if I may put it so crudely. So I wouldn't get so worked up over this if you can avoid it. Also, it's not a good idea to express your anger at one person (your on-line ex) by mistreating someone else. Not to say stuff like that doesn't happen every day, but if you are strong enough you can rise above it. I hear that according to Islam if you martyr yourself you get not just one, but a whole bunch of virgins. That's one solution to the problem, I guess. By the way, if you want to have something to look forward to, females have the upper hand in dating from ages 18-25 or so, but men have it after 30.
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Getting in shape without going to a gym?
Arrowsmith replied to KIDD's topic in Health: Body, Mind and Spirit
I think it might be hard without going to a gym. You basically want to lift (with good form!) a weight that you can only lift 6 to 8 times. I imagine it'll be hard to get such weights without going to a gym. How old are you? it you start lifting heavy weights your appetite will likely increase on its own. -
This guys sounds like bad news. I'm afraid in this case "I don't know" means "no". I mean, I'm sure that he likes you - I mean he hooked up with you at the party, right? But that doens't mean that he wants to be boyfriend/girlfriend with you. Just my 2 cents. You should get some other people's advice too.