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SilverCloud

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Everything posted by SilverCloud

  1. SilverCloud
    Good luck Sukerbut, you will be missed a lot... thank you for all your advice in regards to my matters... you cant believe what profound effect it has had on my life...I wish you all the best
  2. SilverCloud
    Thank u but i dont think its determination. Its probably loss of strenght to keep trying to make it work. I know in my heart that i did put the effort and even though i love him more then he can imagine, i cant give him more cause i am not capable of it. Also i think the reason i have been able to control myself from going back to him is cause i have already done that for him 3 times and everytime this treatment got worst. I think i would rather take the bitter pill that it will not happen then be with him and be his victim over and over again. Strange how i still want to be with him even when i know what the result of it would be? I hurt today, wish things were different, wish i knew if he still cared for me... but then i think i am only hurting myself by not seeing the reality. And reality is that he has moved on, he has someone new and i am probably refusing to move on. I want him to be happy just wish it was with me...
  3. SilverCloud
    You are doing great, look at your achievements so far you have come a long way whether its 2 weeks or not
  4. SilverCloud
  5. SilverCloud
    Now this really made me wana go out and get me the Ipod nano.. sadly to late cause stores are already closed no i will use this money to go skydiving yayyyyy!!!!!
  6. SilverCloud
    You are worth every effort, but stop expecting it from him. He is only about himself. He will treat every woman this way whether there is age difference or not. I feel bad saying this but i felt it was true in my case so i will say it. Such men seek women who are weak to put up with their crap. They are not seeking a partner they want a servants. I know now that my ex seeks women who get impressed with his personality(he can put up a good front for about 5 months) and then when they know the woman is trapped with them cause of feelings they start to come back to who they truly are.... At this point you might be thinking that the person you fell for is totally different then the person now... they have not changed they just started showing their real personality... Such men make me wana become the black widow hahahahaha!!! Atleast you know early... use the blessing that has been given to you...
  7. SilverCloud
    lol...I got plenty posted...hahaha you will get through. Use this time to learn your own weakness and strenghts. Work on weakness and use strenghts to get by... you will get through i thought i wouldnt but i know i am. The first two months are hard but you know you will get through, dont use this time to find someone new .. you are not ready and you will know when you are..
  8. SilverCloud
    Becky23, yes I am better since i have left him. In my case we broke up a total of 4 times. Everytime like a fool i would believe that yes i was wrong..and maybe i was to a certain extent, but now i know i was not completely. But i love him so i put up with everything, and wanted to make it work. He just kept blaming me cause it was easier to make me look like the one not making the relationship work so he doesnt have to put any effort. I went back to him 3 times and the 4th time i just stopped cause i was disgusted by what he had made me. You see when we first got together i was a strong girl, not a dependant girl. I was fun to be with and loved life. The time i was with him, i was stressed and depressed, cause nothing i did would please him enough. Everytime i got back with him, his attitude towards me was worse. He would literally treat me like s*** and i would ignore it as if he was having a bad day. I would risk my health working and studying full time and also drive to his place to see him, and sometimes cook for him(he didnt even call me ever, not even to know if i got home safe). This was my schedule wake up at 7:30 get ready go to work, leave work at 5:30 and run over to his house with groceries to cook something(I was being a caring girlfriend), then spend time with him till 11pm and then run home and study(distance learning) till 3 in the morning. I am living with my parents cause thats what my parents culture is(child does not leave till married). He asked me to move in with him the third time we got together and i told him straight on his face that i was afraid that one day in his bad mood he will throw me out of his house and i will not be able to go back to my parents(my parents didnt want me to marry him cause of religious and cultural different and the fact that he was divorced and has two kids). He made no effort to comfort my fears, it was all about him.. I see the same pattern in yours, leave. My ex did say something that has stuck with me 'People dont change'... he is right about that one, he too will never change and worst part since he does not think he did anything wrong he will continue to his own destruction. I still love my ex, wish things could be different but they will not be cause that is the person he is. I loved him as he was... but that is no excuse to destroy myself. Good luck... and yes the pain is great in leaving but you are right it is not life long as it would be staying with him.
  9. SilverCloud
    Take their advice.....GET OUT of it I just got out of a relationship like that which destroyed the confident person i was. He always blamed me for everything... he called me a liar too... i was the one driving back and forth to see him.. he just sat on his butt...NOTHING I did was good enough. He will NOT change ... and he is going to cause you much more pain then the pain you will feel if you get out now. Such people are the takers and never the givers. He will always take and never give to make the relationship work. SWEETY save yourself GET OUT while you still have your esteem there...I didnt and i am still suffering.. i would suggest you learn from my experience. P.S we had the exact same age difference too...
  10. SilverCloud
    Point is do you want pass through life like a cabbage or make a mark in the lives of others here and your own. You do have a choice, you could just sit in one place and rot away till you die or get yourself moving and see the other wonders around you. Personally sitting like a cabbage and wasting time is not a way for me... i wana feel all i can(pain,happiness).. i wana see all i can... i wana be the joy of someones life... i want someone to be the joy of my life. As my ex said 'i want everything life has to offer'... and why not? I am alive and its my right since i have the option to choose...
  11. SilverCloud
    ok not to be a bad influence on anyone of you but i wonder what the ex is up to.....uggghhh shouldnt matter me knowing or not knowing ... but i still wonder... i refuse to throw another pity party for myself but i miss him a lot.
  12. SilverCloud
  13. SilverCloud
    I am doing good, thank you for asking. I am starting to accept the breakup... i guess more after finding out that he has someone new. I am not at a stage were i can have him as a friend nor am i ready to have someone else in my life but i feel ok with that. So i guess yes today is a good day...(hehehehe better go for shopping and mark this day with something grand)
  14. SilverCloud
    I am doing good today. Thank you ShySoul and Icemotoboy your words are kind and much appreciated. Didyoumissme i hope you are doing good too
  15. SilverCloud
    Yeh if they are your sibling....parents... friends ... but if you mean in relationship then, no. I honestly believe you cant love them together. One has to have preference over the other. Thats how i believe it is in relationships, cause humans are the only beings who get jealous, and thats why they only love one at a time. To be honest if you love two people at the same time in the relationship then i think you probably dont love either.... but thats my two cents...
  16. SilverCloud
    Maybe i am not the one he would be thinking "what an idiot" over. lol... talk about loosing self esteem... he always blamed me for everything... now i am at a point where i think maybe there was something wrong with me... and most probably he must be think this instead "Good riddance"
  17. SilverCloud
    how is everyone doing? I am having a harder time since i found out he has someone new...ouch it hurts more then what a bandage can fix.... It will be 3 months of NC next month and i still miss him. WHY?
  18. SilverCloud
    You know which movies talks about true love 'Meet Joe Black' Some of the lines that define love properly is when this is said.... 'Love is a responsibility' 'love is most of all not hurting the object of your effection' love is a wonderful feeling... i wish you all get it atleast once in your life
  19. SilverCloud
    Happy Birthday To You!!! Happy Birthday To You!!! May You Have Many More!!!
  20. SilverCloud
    He always blamed me for things going wrong...oh well he has someone new now... i am even more heartbroken having found that out... i can question and question everything to death but i only find myself going in circles... i didnt want this i didnt want a broken heart yet it happened... how sweet for him that he has someone new, he is putting the time and effort that he could have easily put in our relationship... maybe he is capable of only being there in the honeymoon time of the relationship .. i fear that if he is capable of more then i would know that i was the one not capable and i dont even know how... i want to ask him... i really want to know my short comings... this sucks, it really does...
  21. SilverCloud
    My story is a exact copy of yours ... infact freakishly similar...I know how much it hurts and how much you wish to be with them...and when you find out they have someone else it kills a part of you all over again... Yes i honestly believe that him being your first has a big influence on your feelings for him... in my case i dont think i would have let him be my first if i wasnt sooo madly in love with him... and since he is my first i know for certain when i am going to be with someone else i will see his face and that some part of me will actually feel as if i am cheating on him... Yes it is a strange feeling when they have already moved on and you find yourself still lost for them months after... I cant advice you on what to do cause i have yet to figure it out myself...
  22. SilverCloud
    You know i guess i keep asking that question cause i sooo badly want to believe its true. I have never seen bad people get what they deserved. I am broken today. I thought maybe if he was not going to find someone he will return to me. Now that he has i wonder if i was the one that bought the relationship down cause if it was him then he would not be the one breaking up with me... so many thoughts and no answers... i think i am the one getting for doing something bad to someone....
  23. SilverCloud
    I found out today that he has someone new in his life. I want to be happy for him, but when i found out things about him from a friend of mine, i no longer wish him happiness. I want to ask him sooo bad if I was just another A** for him to F***? I wonder if he is going to give the same grief to this new woman in his life as he did to me? Does anyone here believe that 'what goes around comes around'?
  24. SilverCloud
    He found someone new, you know what i feel , if this works out for him then yes it was probably my fault. I have been told by friends he is not a good man, and yet i feel if he can make it work with this new person then i definitely was at fault...but if he is a bad man then don’t you think he will some how sabotage that as well?
  25. SilverCloud
    i thought he was in love too... i thought that if we were both talking about getting old together then he also loves me enough to love me unconditionally... I am sorry i am being very emotional today.. i have had NC with him for over two months now and all i can think about today is why our relationship didnt matter to him to move on sooo easily... i dont think i would have ever been with him if i even had the slightest feeling that he was not in for the long haul.. You would think by now i would forget him but i have not... i cant even wish that i could cause i know i dont want to... why should i stop loving when i never intended to when i fell for him?
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