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SilverCloud

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Everything posted by SilverCloud

  1. SilverCloud
    I never let him feel in anyway that he was not good for me... i dont judge people that way.. I was in love with the person he was... he was a good guy or maybe i am thinking of what he was... he told me i have all of him forever and yet i dont now... how can a man who claims his love for you sooo much suddenly loose all that... isnt love about being unconditional ... i know i was for him, cause i never questioned anything ... never asked for anything... why do i give a s*** for him when everyone tells me he is not a good guy... why do i refuse to see it as the reality and instead only think that i probably failed him enough for him to stop loving me...
  2. SilverCloud
    Sometimes saying what's on one mind out right can be offending to others. It doesn't mean that you should not be yourself but taking into consideration of others feelings is something that everyone should try. I also feel saying things as they are on ones mind without careful consideration of whether that comment is appropriate or not only shows a persons idiocy and lack of maturity.
  3. SilverCloud
    lol thank you for bring a smile on my face,I really laughed at that one. Yes it was really difficult to hear all this about him... you know really really hurts ... he had me fooled very good.. gave him everything... yet got to hear that i didnt.. Why do such people pass their life like this ... you know he came from a broken home... had no contact with his bilogical mom... had a bad relationship with the father (i was told that he was a drunk bum and a child molester), and his ex wife was a cheating drug addict... all i wanted was to give him the same feelings and joy i got being with him.... i hope he realises someday that i gave a lot for him... you cant even imagine it as to how much i gave not because i wanted him to feel greatful but because i loved him and wanted to see him happy. I just want to ask him "How could he do this to me?"
  4. SilverCloud
    I had no idea what topic this would go under but anyway here is my latest heartache. I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday, who was also my ex's friend. I was feeling low and was missing my ex. She told me that i should not miss him cause he was not a good man. She said she knew about his reputation with women before we both got together. She went on saying that when he told her about us, she questioned him in detail cause she wanted to make sure it was not one more of his flings and he assured her that it was not and that he was actually in love with me. After all that she actually told me that as a mom she will tell me to do exactly what she told her daughter is that i should get tested, cause with my ex's history i could very easily could have caught STD. I am now sooo scared, he was my first. i am already living with the pain that i was sooo naive to let him fool me for soo long and also insult my love for him in such a way. And to top that pain now i have to worry about what the test results will be, and if i have got something i have to live with that too. He is out of my life but he has left a big mess....
  5. SilverCloud
    I was not feeling good later today, talked to a mutual friend of ex and mine. Sometime being able to talk to someone right on the phone is more comforting. Friend are a true blessing. Other then the low for tonight i did good... i am glad to hear you are holding up with your NC... i know you can too... always remember NC can be done but the missing of the ex is not as easy as NC. You are allowed to miss them but you should not break the NC under any condition.
  6. SilverCloud
  7. SilverCloud
    [quote name=curlygirl47God help me to mean that and to accept whatever he has to do to be happy in this life, even if it means that he never wants to see me again. [/quote] I have been feeling the same since the last week. I want him to be happy but on the same time i want him to be with me. I love him yet the feeling of him being with someone else is like a dagger in the heart that cuts deeper and deeper. I want him to be happy in his life, with or without me yet my heart wants to be selfish. I have yet to learn to shut off the thoughts of him..I agree "love is love", when you fall in love you are not thinking of falling out of it. When i love i love all the way or nothing at all. Whats kind of love is partial? You cant call partial feelings love...
  8. SilverCloud
    The love does not leave easily, it because its love. Its not an on/off switch. But you have to realise that at this point to truly wish her well in her life you have to get better. Stick with the NC... it will give you understanding of you and more control over feeling need to unnecessarily bother the object of our affection. I know its harder then done, i too this day worry about my ex. But you know what they can take care of themselves, and we know that we just refuse to accept it. Time for you to take care of yourself.
  9. SilverCloud
    Good... going strong with NC... how r u going with ur NC?
  10. SilverCloud
    You need to delete her from you aim. I know how hard it can be i had my sister holding my hand while i was doing it...
  11. SilverCloud
    Hang in there, one day you will find someone who will care about you and care about never reaching a stage of NC... i have been through just the same as you trust me there comes a day when the pain is less
  12. SilverCloud
    what guarantees that a breaker who didnt work on the relationship when they should have, would actually will work on it when they want to return?
  13. SilverCloud
    My brokenheart is a pain i have to bare but i would never wish for my ex to go through the same pain just because i care about him well enough to see him happy. I see Breaking up as his last request made of me, and since i was ready to give up faith, family and everything else for him, i felt that if this makes him happy then soo be it. After all he was the object of my affection, it used to hurt really bad to see him in pain. So i quit on the begging back since i was not what could make him happy. So i honestly feel that as much as i regret being without him, i would prefer my sacrifice brings him only happiness.
  14. SilverCloud
    Anyone here gets a feeling that you are trying to find reasons, faults and things badly done by ex to justify your own sanity? I get this constant feeling that maybe my ex was not soo bad. Maybe i was insane and drove him away? I never understood why my ex broke up with me. Things he wanted i did do them ... then why? His reasons at the time of break up where not even clear to him i guess... but what i find now is that i keep wondering... keep thinking what i did wrong? will i repeat my insanity on the next relationship? Will i continue to blow up all future relationships? Am i thinking of his crazy ways of breakup as a proof of my sanity and making him as the insane one.. I guess i am proving my insanity by writting this.. but i think maybe i need closer and if i do then what is it? Are our mutual friends agreeing to him being on the wrong just to help me or if its true? I am confused this was my first relationship and it was a very bad experience dont know what to think of myself.
  15. SilverCloud
    You were honest to her that you cant wait 3 years .... that is the bottom line.. she has to realize if she has choosen to not talk to her parents or even introduce the idea then you have made your choice too... compromise has to be done by both the parties not one...
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  18. SilverCloud
    Good for you... you will get through
  19. SilverCloud
    lol!!! she must be one determined woman
  20. SilverCloud
  21. SilverCloud
    I know people dont change but when i think about people i tend to see them as how i would react to things, or would things effect me. See i have learned a lot in life and many a times i realize there is still room for me to be a better human. I feel that everyone else has faults just like i do. Thus i also realize that people can change, you cant make them change but you can help them see a different prospective of things(not in a manupilative way). But to give them a security to react differently without fear of being hurt. I am sorry if i sound tooo idealistic, i have been told by friends that i get overboard with that a lot.
  22. SilverCloud
  23. SilverCloud
    Concentrate on the fact that you two want to work things out. The honeymoon stage of the romance is gone this it the time the real efforts of the relationship have to be put it. If you both are dedicated to the relationship then try to compromise on your arguments. If she feels strongly about something and you do to, then find a median. Both of you should realise that relationship require work and compromise. If you really want everything your way then you both are better of apart.
  24. SilverCloud
    I agree 'in' love always goes away. Its loving someone makes you see that you would love them with all their flaws. I dont think people should look for 'in' love, the people who look for love are the only ones who last a long time. My ex fed me the same crap of 'I love you but i am not 'in' love with you' well you know what i loved him thats why i put up with crap and was also there for him when he lost his job. If i was 'in' love with him i wouldnt be there.
  25. SilverCloud
    Thank you again... the reason i said he wont is cause i was the one who always went back to him... the reason he accepted me back was probably because he didnt want to let go or probably because he too hoped for it to work. Plus he told me the first time we got back together(with me begging) that he didnt want to hurt me anymore but also that he was miserable without me. He is a good guy but his experiences with his mother and ex-wife have created this belief in him that women will hurt him. I tried sooo hard to get him to feel not everyone is like that by talking to him politely, trying to get to see him no matter how hard or how much time it took. I have been told by mutual friends that he only wanted to take from the relationship but never give. I on the other hand believe that i too hurt him in the beginning cause i couldn’t find a way to stand up to my parents, but then after the first breakup he became cold. I keep thinking of the person before the breakup and i cant in my mind imagine the changed person. Why would he change if he has accepted my apologies and let me get back to him? Why does it seem like i was dealing with two different people? Where did the guy who I fell in love with go? The reason it wont work is cause he refuses to let go of my past mistakes. And after he would take me back i felt like even the smallest thing will make him angry at me. It was like i was on a leash. But i still ignored all this cause i wanted to be with him and wanted to make it work no matter what. Why cant i take my own advice i give to everyone else to forget bad relationships?
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