temperamental_taurus

Well, that temporary high I was feeling is gone... I woke up from a nap last night, so depressed I could barely walk... that mood has continued on through this morning. My guy friend came and picked me up late last night to get me out of the apartment and as far away from my thoughts as possible. He was listening to Evanesense in his truck and once again the tears started... never seen a boy switch CDs so quickly lol... He bought me ice cream and he put on cartoons, figuring the infantile humor might cheer me up... I laughed a couple of times during an old episode of Bugs Bunny. He rubbed my back and hair for awhile, trying to release my stress. He's so supportive, and I appreciate that more than words can express, although that messed up part of me wishes my ex had cared for me this way. Or that it was my ex who was there comforting me. This man has only known me for a few weeks and yet has been there for me more than my ex had been in a year - a pretty sad fact. My mood swings are quite dramatic... it's like a pendulum. It feels like a semi-truck has slammed into my chest half the time. What do you do with those left over feelings for the person you love? Because I truly loved that boy - and when you love that deeply, it shouldn't and doesn't go away that quickly. You can try to stick a bandaid over it, but when that falls off you're still left with all the remaining emotions. I actually took some of my ex's advice... he'd always try to hurt me by insulting how we met, on link removed - always saying that you get what you pay for, and since that is essentially a free dating site - he was implying that, well you know, I was free so I was not worth much. So, I looked into Great Expectations. Only professionals with absolutely no criminal record are accepted - and they run a criminal background check. Membership is extremely expensive - so you know the quality of people is high. I joined. I decided to make an investment in MYSELF. I'm sick of internet dating, and being a healthcare professional, I rarely have the opportunity to meet quality men. She said afterwards that I'll have no trouble at all, that I have the look and gave me a discount because they need more attractive women - because there are more men than women currently enrolled there. I'm looking forward to getting out and meeting QUALITY professional guys... heck, some of the profiles I searched through included a lawyer and a few engineers... So I'll update more on that once I start getting into it. Well, enough for now... I'll see if I feel better tonight....

So today WAS a good day but didn't get done all that I needed to get done. I kept my appointment in Scottsdale but didn't go to the gym... I'm not sure if it's because I was out late last night or that it's just too darn hot to have any energy (maybe a combination of both). Even cancelled on my friend in Phoenix... ended up at hanging out at the pool with my guy friend and his son, and my girlfriend who was having a bad day today. We're all part of a group that we're fondly referring to as the "Starting Over" club. Everyone that we meet here in this complex has moved here to escape some bad relationship and start over. I'm so glad I moved here, I think it's fate that we've all arrived at this point in our lives at the very same moment to help all of us through the hard times - and it's working... we've all bonded very closely together, my phone never stops ringing. I thank God for this place, and I've heard some of the other people say that too. An odd developement... I was kind of floating next to my friend and I'm not sure why but scooted myself into his arms. It surprised me - where the heck did THAT come from?? that over-whelming urge to have him hold me??? ??? It's the first time since we've met that I've felt like having him touch me. We stayed that way, his arms wrapped around me for a little while until I grew uncomfortable and wiggled away. But while I was there it felt nice, which surprised me... didn't think I would want anyone touching me for awhile. This time around there's something different about us splitting up (my ex and I). This time I not only KNOW but FEEL that I've made that permanent break from him. It's finally over... I've been waiting for this feeling for a long time, where I KNOW without a doubt that I'm not going back... that I don't want him back. Jeez it took a long time coming!!! I used to get there alot quicker in past relationships... I have a new life... amazing how what is meant to be will happen quickly and easily, huh? Even though I know it was just Friday that my fragile world was rocked to the core... it feels like a lifetime ago... I'm going to be okay. I have no doubt that God is watching out for me, that he guided me to this place. I'm not even remotely going to allow myself to think that I'm not going to have more bad days... I'm sure I will - but I'm on track now - the end has finally been reached, there won't be that revolving door anymore - the merry-go-round has stopped. And I think that just for my own sanity I'm going to continue to post here daily (or if not daily, as much as I can)... to document my feelings, accomplishments and thoughts - it helps knowing that people may be reading and could possibly relate... and I want to be able to look back and see how far I've come.

Thanks Hope... Whatever small bit of logical thought that's left in my head right now KNOWS this man is poisonous for me. And, yes, I need to be away from it FOR GOOD. He had said that day I found out about him and HER that she's totally into him and accepts him for who he is. LMAO, oh yeah, whatever - that's a delusional thought in itself... Does she KNOW him? Nope and I highly doubt he was forthcoming with the fact that he is an alcoholic with a huge dependency and that the only needs he fulfills are his own. And I KNOW that however hard he tries he CAN'T be any different without help. I almost feel sorry for her. It was easier to get rid of ME instead of face his addiction... because he knew it was at the point that either he had to change or he needed to replace his existing girlfriend with someone new that would be more tolerant (or unaware) of his disease. He'd have at least another year to continue on the way he has before that relationship fails too and then he's off again, replacing HER for someone else that just thinks he's wonderful. What a lovely cycle. On a positive note, I had a really good night, spent at Jillians, playing pool and listening to live music. I did my hair for the first time in like forever and felt sexy and alive. Part of the old me that I remember showed up too =) I was able to laugh, and be my normally funny, light-hearted self. Boy, I sure do miss that me... I can remember bits about her; strong, confident, sexy, happy, vibrant... and I want that back. I went with a guy friend of mine who's been awesome. Supporting me through this. I told him that he needs to give me at least 2 months, 2 months of nothing more than friendship. I need the time to heal, or at least let the scabs form over these gapping wounds. He's willing to do that for me, however long it takes... and understands it means no intimacy, kissing etc... what a great guy, huh? To give me the time I need to get MYSELF healthy and not push. AND he's good-looking too - I didn't think he was a few weeks ago, my messed up head kinda of got in the way of that, but I think something's changed, perhaps it was my decision to accept that my ex and I are finally over... not sure. I even found myself able to flirt with him - heck, I haven't flirted in a year!!! So, today my plans are to go into Scottsdale for an appt then work out at my gym while I'm there, and afterwards go visit my friend in Phoenix. Then probably come home and get my car cleaned. I feel better today... I have his shirt on and guess what? No tears It's gonna be a good day....

Um, ok a bit of info... we were together for a year, he's an alcoholic, mean when he's drunk, we moved in together, I moved out because I couldn't handle it anymore, plans were for us to try and work it out, allowing him the time to get healthy on his own. He then decided to move in with "two hot single chicks". We were stilling "trying" even after he moved in (I did not agree with his choice and begged him not to) until he had erection issues with me one night and then told me he thinks about having sex with these girls. Then tells me over a phone conversation that 2 hours after I left he "hooked up" with one of the girls. Then emails me with the details. That's pretty much it in a nutshell. So, yeah, I'm pretty messed up over it... who wouldn't be. But today got way better. A girlfriend called me up and forced me to go tubing... I figured what the heck, better than crying at home (I had put on one of his shirts - shouldn't have done THAT - jeezers it was like opening the flood gates....) Then afterwards we sat by the pool, I invited a friend over and turns out he knows some of my new friends (I just moved into this complex a month ago...) So, we all had a great time and I feel much better. Going out on the town tonight too... and have plans to visit a very old friend that I haven't seen in 9 months, tomorrow. All it takes is staying busy I guess, it's the alone time that kills me... to think he could have done this to me... any of this to me... blows my mind. I thought he loved me, he had told me he did... although my girlfriend just bought me a bracelet today that I am to wear until I've made it through all of this that states "Boys Lie"... LMAO... I guess I need to keep that in mind. I know that all this is a temporary fix... I'm crushed. How could he just go out and replace me? And not care that he just emotionally mutalated a person who he loved and who loved him enough to stay through everything? Didn't the last year mean ANYTHING?

I guess those two words are all that's left to describe me now. I'm completely broken... devoid of any feeling or spirit. I allowed him to strip it all away from me, slowly, one layer at a time until all that is left is a broken heart. I can see it there... bleeding all over the place and am helpless to do anything about it. He's finally killed me, you know... It was a slow and painful death with one final last jab aimed at my heart. He slept with her. I knew he would... and was nice enough to tell me all about it. I'm hardly breathing anymore... not sure if I want to anyways... I feel like I just need to lie down and die. To finally let it consume me, and take me away from this evil place...

I'm definitely not bed hopping... I have been very honest with the new guy, that I'm still kinda wrapped up in this saga with my ex... and I definitely won't be sleeping with him until it feels right. He has agreed that I can take as much time as I need to get me through this, that he'll be there for me. Time will heal all things and strengthen others. In a perfect world, this guy would have come along after I had a good 6 month break from my ex. Reality is, he's here right now, willing to see me through this, realizes that this is a difficult time for me and yet is still willing to be supportive. Those qualities are hard to find in a man. He's willing to wait... and honestly, I'm not willing to get rid of him because of timing. Is that selfish? Perhaps, but maybe it's MY turn now, ya know? He compliments me, supports me, listens to me, is patient with me, tells me I'm worth it and you know what? Instead of just lip service I FEEL IT. As far as moving on from the ex, I'm NOT ready, you're right. I loved him very, very much. I would have been stayed with him forever if he had treated me right... But what I've come to realize is that it I LOVED the feeling of being in love... how I felt about HIM... (so I'm a hopeless romantic, so what?) it was not returned, he'll never "get it"... and I'm too decent of a person to settle for that kind of treatment... guys like that will never change and I'm tired of all that anger, cruelty, resentment and negativity directed at me... let some other woman have him, I pass!!!

Well, over the past couple of weeks I've been trying to get to know this new guy a bit more. And from what I can tell, he may be one of those few nice guys. And he hasn't given up on me even though I have my head so far up my ex-boyfriend's butt (am I allowed to say that on here?) I'm not entirely convinced yet, though, because men say and do alot when they want something. But he's been put in difficult situations regarding a bit of taunting by my ex and he's still stuck by me. Even sent a dozen colored roses to my work to cheer me up. He listens to me, gently inserts his opinion where needed and has acted like a gentlman throughout. My ex on the other hand, well, I had thought it might have been improving over the last week. He's been much more sensitive to me and my needs regarding his new living arrangement with these 2 women. But eventually, the insults started creeping back in and ultimately he wasn't able to maintain an erection with me when we went to be intimate with each other. Which is a direct window into his head. He's just not "here" with me anymore - his sexual interest is elsewhere. Even admitted thinking about having sex with these women - a very hard thing for me, as his whatever, to hear. So, I told him that I can't handle this and wished him luck. I want to be able to give this new person a chance. And I need to do it now before I frustrate him with my indecisiveness and he gives up. I want to be treated lovingly. I DESERVE IT!!! and I need it so badly right now. I want to start directing my time and energy on someone positive in my life... and so I've made up my mind. I'm going to slowly guide my heart in another direction. Wish me luck... no, wait! Wish me happiness!!!

How do I do that??? I've tried leaving, I've tried NC, I've tried to even make him hate me... none of it is working. I do not have the strength left... I have no fight left in me... and this latest thing I'm afraid may just kill me.

I think it is human nature to form emotional attachments to those you are closest to, living there, with these women, the chances are high that this type of bond may form and from that a sexual relationship COULD happen... And it's not that I don't trust him, but out of the thousands of apartments and roommates in this city, he chose to move in with them. I've been hearing about it for a month and a half... (how hot they are, that they could be easily "bent in half" etc...) He has plenty of other OPTIONS, so how do you continue to trust him when he's already gone THIS far? He knows how badly it hurts me, and doesn't care - so what would stop him from betraying me? Not alot, in my opinion...

No matter what I do, he treats me as if I am his enemy... I have loved him so much. For those who know my story, he's an alcoholic, I moved out yet have tried to continue to make it work. Today, he's moving in with 2 women, he has asked me to trust him that he can live 2 cities away, and not become involved with these "two hot chicks" he'll be co-habitating with. He insists he'll be respectful towards me, be supportive, etc... After all that I done, all that I've suffered through, to throw this at me as well is just too much. I can't handle it anymore. God, I've been doing this with him for so long, I don't think I know how to walk away. I'm crying as I write this, he told me he'd call, he didn't and turned his ringer off... yes, this is a respectful, sensitive man. He's killing me. I can't be strong anymore. Why doesn't he just leave me? Why sit there and say how much he loves me, hold me as I cry and can still do what he's doing - to me, to us??? He even said he doesn't want me there when he moves, afraid I'll do something??? Do what I'd love to know... I'm NOT the one doing ANYTHING. People say that when I can't deal with it anymore I'll just walk away, but I CAN'T. I've suffered through this abuse for a year and it is engrained in me. I've made feeble attempts and have fallen right back in. I deserve so much better, I know this... but I am powerless to do anything to change it. It's not the fear of being alone, because I'm not alone and have a very supportive group of people around me... It's the fear of letting go, of failure, of another loss. I don't understand how a person can treat someone like this??? The guilt would consume me, but it almost seems as if he enjoys my suffering. I have asked him not to do this... I've cried my eyes out, begged him not to throw another major issue into our relationship, he says it's not a big deal and I'll get used to the idea... although all the women I've spoken to have firmly agreed, that him living with 2 women is unacceptable to them and they would never tolerate it. I've even asked him if this is his way of forcing me to leave, and he has said no, that he wants his cake and eat it too... that he should be able to have both, the house with 2 girls and me... I have never cried this much... I feel like I'm losing my mind... The feeling of betrayal is so over-whelming, I feel like I'm suffocating.

I have a quick question before I head out the door... how much responsibility do we need to take for their disease though? He was an alcoholic when I met him, had been for years, hid it VERY well until I signed the lease and then it all came out. Honestly, I don't feel I had any part in his disease. I realized he was never going to change, moved out etc... Do I still care? Oh yes, I sure do... but not to the point that I'd let it ruin my life. I've been told to go to Al-Anon, and I still may... but I did nothing to enable him... and I've never dated a substance abuser before. It does scare me, that yes, because of this I may fall into a pattern of dating unhealthy men, and so I want to take it slow... but do I send this guy away because of it??? What if he happens to be great? Or do I just take it slow and see how it goes? In a perfect world, I wish he'd come along after I had a good 6 month break, so that's why I'm questioning what I DO with all of this... My ex ruined the last 8 months of my life, I really don't want to let his disease control anymore it... Although, it DOES seem a bit hasty, but the connection was swift... I let HIM talk, listening to how he'd fit me, not him just agreeing with what I had to say... THAT'S why it was errie... we were even finishing each others thoughts because of how similar our thoughts are... Ugh, you guys... I don't know what to do... go to Al-Anon, continue to see him slowly or what??? Blah, I've got everything else together EXCEPT my social life....

We split due to his alcoholism... Yes, we agrued because he'd get drunk and mean.. He never sought help for himself and I couldn't stand it anymore. This new person DOES NOT drink or do drugs and even went as far to make sure I wasn't a substance abuser either. What I'm ready for is a relationship filled with love, respect and appreciation and kindness... but I'm nervous thinking that I could find that so quickly out of this relationship... Unless he's just a gift from God, with a little card attached saying, "Here, you deserve this!"

Well, I say reasonably attractive because I'm so used to it being my ex's face that I'm sitting accross from... So it's DIFFERENT... so yes, he's attractive but it may take some time for that face to take the place of the ex's and for me to appreciate his looks as I had done with my ex when I first met him. An example of today: He says - "I can't wait to talk to you after work"...I say "Thanks, that made me smile"... He says... "Good, it's my job to make you smile." How awesome is THAT??? So, I just don't know what to do!!! That's why I need your input!!!

Ok, I'm back here LOL, sooner than I had anticipated... but I have a question for everyone... How soon is too soon? Here's the scoop. I've met someone - ALREADY... We've talked for 11.8 hours straight on the phone, we've gone out to lunch. He's reasonably attractive, successful, attentive, intelligent and a single dad. The pluses: His family is very similar to mine, open, accepting, kind, personable. He calls when he says he's going to, he's polite, funny, has the same views on religion as I do. (WE'RE SIMILAR) He has a Monday thru Friday job that he's been at for 6 years. (HE'S STABLE) He tells me I take his breath away when he sees me. He opens doors, lights my cigarettes. (HE'S SWEET) He has no criminal background (yes, I checked this out myself). (HE'S SAFE) He raises his mildly autistic son completely on his own. (HE'S NURTURING) He's old-fashioned (so am I) and doesn't drink or do drugs (HE'S CLEAN) - yes, he smokes but so do I. He calls occasionally "just to hear my voice". (AWWW) The cons? Well, I just got out of a relationship! So, how soon is too soon to start again??? To start seeing someone again, I mean. I know people say that you should be alone for awhile after a break-up, but I'd hate to turn this almost too good to be true guy away!!! Does anyone have any advice on this? How soon is too soon???

Everyone here has been wonderful and extremely knowledgeable, and for that I am thankful - but it's time that I leave this site. I have read so many posts about people struggling with no contact - enough to make me hopeful and eventually I contacted my ex... After a wonderful weekend camping, we even got back together, and inbetweens his I love you's I found emails from today stating that he decided that he's moving in with these "2 hot single girls" he's been in contact with. He's a pathetic person, a liar and I consider him a cheat as well. I was doing really well, not focusing on the break-up until I started dwelling on it, re-living past experiences to hopefully benefit another wounded person, offering heart felt advice until I couldn't stop thinking about my relationship with him again. And so, with there being no chance I will ever welcome him back, I need to get on with my life. Once I feel better, and not so betrayed and not in utter shock - I may be return here. Because it's not this site that prevents me from healing but the lack of strength within myself to separate it from my pain just yet. It is all still so RAW. I've taken a small step back tonight, after a few hours of sobbing and tried to rationalize my situation. I am a good person. I am not a substance abuser. I have been faithful, supportive, forgiving and patient. I have changed, I have compromised. I have done my part. It is due to his illness and his behavior and his selfishness that this relationship is over. Next time I'll be smarter. I'll choose a mate that operates on the same level as I do - not having difficulty handling reality, sobriety and life in general. Someone that is mentally healthy, knows how to give of himself instead of expecting everything to be given to him. A patient man, a kind man - someone that would never hurt me, or insult me, or degrade me. One that understands the meaning of love - that it isn't just for his benefit, but the benefit of both. I did not deserve this. He is a sociopath. Praying on my kindness and love - he has no conscience. To provoke a break-up so he can live with 2 women that he thinks are hot!?! Irregardless of his girlfriend's feelings so he can get a hard on???? Disgusting. To look me in the eye, tell me he loves me yet planning to move in with them behind my back??? Like he can't afford his own place??? Of course he can, he just doesn't WANT TO. The idiot has no idea what he's done... and I don't care if he EVER realizes it. I hope he hurts, I hope he suffers, I hope that he feels what I'm feeling now. The betrayal, the questions, the anger. I pray that in his next relationship he falls deeply in love and she crushes him. He deserves nothing less. Once I am done hurting, and even now at some level, I'll glad he's gone. I'm glad he'll be someone else's problem. However horrible that sounds, at least he won't be bringing ME down. I always land on my feet - this time will be no different. I am too good of a person. He never deserved my heart. I did great the week with no contact... and today starts a lifetime of it with this individual... he is a terrible person, undeserving, sick, pathetic and weak. And I hate him. Thank you everyone for listening, and good luck to all of you out there that are hurting too... you deserve better - be strong - they are ex's for A REASON - remember that!!!! Goodnight and goodbye =)

Isn't it better though, wlfpack, to work at what you've got, to improve on it, strengthen it? You don't have to consider it "settling" but more like "stable" then to always be mistreated, and then end up alone because you weren't worth the trouble because the next one's already taken your place??? I think so... I'd prefer that someone say hey, this woman is worth it rather than NEXT!!!

Ok, well I have a confession to make I'm one of those girls too. I had to post this discussion question because it really is nagging at me. I am rarely approached either, but am always stared at by both men and women. Once the man learns that I happen to be single though, he's all over it. I am told almost daily how pretty, beautiful, gorgeous I am. But you want to know what? I don't FEEL pretty, beautiful or gorgeous. I am not stick then, I'm curvy etc. I guess I've been called "exoctic" looking. Problem is, my relationships never last. Sad huh? Once they get me they don't want me... I think I'm not challenging enough for them - or something, I don't know why. They darn near kill themselves to be with me, then once they have me, they mistreat me and I end up having to leave them. WHY IS THAT??? My life is filled with drama - constant break-ups, disappointments and let downs. I consider myself a good woman. I have a good job, which I'm successful at etc... I spoil them, I don't play mind games but I feel like I'm stuck in that revolving door. It's like I'm never ENOUGH. And do you realize how horrible a feeling that is??? To never be ENOUGH??? I would rather be UGLY and find someone who loves me for me, than to look this way and be seen as a challenge that once won, is discarded for the next trophy. So, ladies, who may be thinking oh I want to look like so and so... Maybe, just maybe - you don't.

I'll agree that you SHOULD be comfortable with yourself. But I think the "revolving door" of dating creates a low self esteem no matter how hard a person TRIES to feel comfortable in their own skin. I've just found that my friends who are average looking are satisfied with what they have, are not always searching for something more, and my beautiful friends have a hard time finding a partner, settling down, and always seem to have alot of drama in their lives. It's almost as if they do not have the substance, character or personality to carry them through a relationship. What causes this esteem issue??? You'd think you'd WANT to look like them, but study them for any amount of time and you're thankful you don't have their problems... One example is Actors & Actresses... constantly changing partners, never settling... it's almost sad that these people only find superficial love.

There's been alot of posts lately regarding how a person looks, whether it be that someone's not attractive enough to date or questioning their own attractiveness or being attractive themselves and having a difficult time in their relationships... So I want to hear what everyone thinks on this... I know in my experiences, I find that the average looking person seems to be alot more comfortable with themselves vs. the very attractive people. That they seem to have more self confidence, their relationships seem to last longer - overall they just seem more comfortable being "them". Why do you think this is? Have you ever noticed? That good looking people are always switching partners, never satisified with what they have, always think they can do better etc? That good looking woman are always so critical of themselves? You'd think that it'd be the opposite way around... Or perhaps it's just the part of the country I live in and is just particular to my city... I dunno... Does anyone have any thoughts on this?

Well, don't feel so bad - I caved - but I can't help it, I tried being strong - I love him and I guess that's all there is to it. He says he loves me too. We'll see how this weekend goes and take it from there. He says we need to learn about each other all over again this weekend and I said we need to do it without all our past issues being brought back up. So, I'm gonna try it again... maybe this time it'll work, maybe it won't but I'm willing to give it just one last shot. *hugs* to you because I know this is the hardest thing in our lives to do - to leave the person we love...

Eddie, eddie, eddie... I'm sure you've heard the saying a million times, you can't judge a book by it's cover. The fact that the girl isn't "attractive enough" is no reason to disregard the possibility of a relationship with because her friend happens to be better looking. As you said, she's someone good to talk to, and THAT'S what relationships are built on - NOT LOOKS. A bit of personal history. My ex-husband. He was probably the BEST looking man I have ever seen - besides Ben Afflick of course - but he was seriously gorgeous - and I had to have him all for myself. I married him and then divorced him because all he was was a pretty face. He had no substance, no depth - just his good looks which carried him at work and in social groups etc... he didn't NEED to have a personality. After my divorce, I have dated not-so-gorgeous men - and you wanna know what? I have more fun, better conversations and just an over-all better time. And after I have fallen in love with them, they are gorgeous to me... I mean seriously drop-dead-gorgeous to me. Not saying you should go for this girl, just wanted to have you keep in mind that looks are definitely not everything. Just my two cents!

Good Morning... well I was a "runner" too - I think I still am... and my only explanation for it is that's it's a defense mechanism. A form of protection to prevent us from getting hurt. Since she's doing it with you andno one else then she probably is beginning to form deep feelings for you which scares her and she bolts. For me, the feeling was one of anxiety that built up inside just being around the guy I was starting to care for. It caused that good ol' fight or flight feeling - even if I wasn't being threatened - and I'd run, leave, break up whatever... Very frustrating for the guy I was with, let me tell you. It's something she probably can not help - just be patient with her, always be there for her and never break her trust - and you may see results in the long run - Good Luck!!!

I agree with WebChick... if you need to move on and get over an exhausted relationship then try to remain in NC for as long as possible... (that's harder for some than others ) BUT if you want to make it work, you miss her and want to continue a relationship with her in the future then keep the lines of communication open - if you don't it could be taken as stubborness and that's exasperating!!!

Well, definitely don't go back to drinking - you're going to be okay without all the alcohol - infact, alcohol will just compound the problem. Sobriety is fun, try it for an extended amount of time and you'll see!!! Honestly, I wish to God it was my ex saying what you're saying right now, but I know that will never be... Heck he even got off the phone with me last night stating, "Welp, I got alot of beer drinking to do over here that I've gotta get to... See ya" Ahhh... yeah, the saddness of it all...

Thanks, although it doesn't make me feel much better - I guess he's always known he has the upper hand... and it's not because I am a weak person, it's just because I can't treat the person who I love badly and was always hoping to be able to save our relationship... My NC had been going on since Friday, but we still have to see each other on Saturday to take care of our financial issues... Ugh, I love that boy so much - I wish with everything that I have that he'd JUST QUIT DRINKING - that's the only thing that would save us. Oh, and I'll take a peek at your posts - I can give the best advice in the world, I just can't seem to practice what I preach - LOL ](*,)