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temperamental_taurus

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  1. temperamental_taurus
    LOL - he has a huge family, they moved 2 households into 1 in a day... He said they were gonna do it... ahhh well, nothing can be resolved tonight, I think I may go look at apartments tomorrow and maybe if I move out, he can just get a roommate... although i pity the poor person who has to live with him... What kills me is that he is just so lost and I hate breaking up with someone when I still care about them... Well, thanks for your input... I'm off to bed, sleep tight all...
  2. temperamental_taurus
    Greenie - I sure do feel the way you do, yet we still live together... he doesn't show much affection either, not for anyone. I'm not sure what the answer is for me cause I'm kinda stuck and he didn't move out this weekend (if he had this would have been much easier). He's completely selfish and wallowing in his own sity pity, I believe. There's no hope for him without serious loss of something he cherishes in his life (which I'm not even sure what'd that would be besides his beer at the moment) and counseling on his part. I'm so detached at this moment, but can't truly find any closure. All I have to say though is the pain you are feeling is your heart mending. Let yourself feel all of it and grow from your pain. Always remember that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and that someday you'll look back on this and realize that you had to experience this to find your way... it'll all get better, I promise... just take it day by day!
  3. temperamental_taurus
    Well, he's still here... nothing was moved out, nothing different, was drinking when I got here... we started talking and he said he didn't sleep with anyone - that he had to do hours of homework... he said I could check his logs to prove it, well I did and all he posted was a 2 sentence post. Not the hours he had claimed. I called him on it, asked why he had to go and insult my family this way and he said that if they were insulted it was their problem and that no one else's problems matter to him. I guess I just don't understand why I continue to talk about any of this with him. I guess in it's a last ditch effort on my part, but there's just no getting through to him. I was so hoping he would be gone when I returned - it would have made all of this so much easier. How heartbreaking...
  4. temperamental_taurus
    Sometimes it is a comforting feeling to know that someone out there loves you, even if you don't return the same feelings... it adds a sense of security like she'll always have someone there if she is feeling alone or whatever... I'm not saying this is what's going on in your case, it's just my female preception on it. Give it space and time, if she returns make sure your getting YOUR needs fulfilled as well as hers... otherwise she'll always be happy and you won't. Hang in there, I'm here if you need to talk it out!!!
  5. temperamental_taurus
    Hi, I can sympathize with both of you having such different religious backgrounds. My ex-boyfriend was brought up Mormon and I was baptized Catholic. Even though neither of us are active in either of our churches, there is still HUGE fundamental differences between us. Luckily, her family still liked you in spite of that. I was shunned and ignored. It's hard to over-come such huge differences like this but as they say, "Love can conquer ANTHING" and I'm still a huge believer in that. So, that in itself, as long as there is compromise, could be worked through. What you need to realize is that she is not treating you right. If you love someone and are thinking about them, you probably would not forget to get them something special for Christmas. If she cared about you she would have contacted you by now. And I know you said she called you with a "weak I love you" but keep in mind, actions speak louder than words. I remember a saying that if a person truly loved another person they would move mountains to be with that person. That is a far cry from not having enough time to call you, right? Be strong, you'll get through this, love her, miss her - let yourself hurt and then slowly begin to heal. There is a person out there who will return your love the way you deserve it, and then you can look back on this failed relationship with fondness, because this is the road you had to travel to get to where you are happy =) Chin up, it gets better!!! I'm right here in the same boat with you!
  6. temperamental_taurus
    Thanks Isle, my parents suggested I just move out myself, but I think he could probably take me to court or something because we're both on the lease. Due to the fact that I want HIM out, I wouldn't pursue that type of avenue with him... so I guess it's not gonna be as easy as ME leaving. Everything works out for a reason, though, and I'm starting to feel stronger already..although I'm sure that there are gonna be bad days. I going to frequent this site as much as possible and help other people (and myself) along the way... (hopefully) and through time all things heal and maybe I can find someone worth the love that I have to offer...
  7. temperamental_taurus
    I also had a mama's boy - I married him and divorced him and because we have a child together and I see him all the time, I can honestly say he has not changed. We spent every night with his family for 3 years. She used to pack him lunches for work with juice boxes and cookies - he was 32 years old at that time. And when we weren't with his family she called him just about every two hours. Pathetic, I know. After we divorced they built him a 3 bedroom 2 bath house and buy him everything as well. He is now 36 almost 37. So, no - it never changes, and I could not compete with the amount of money they controlled my now ex-husband with. He's a great guy and an awesome father and we are still friends, I'm just glad that I don't have to feel second best anymore. Just my bit of input.
  8. temperamental_taurus
    Thank you for restoring it - I appreciate that - it helps me remember all the stuff that I tend to forget and end up forgiving for. Just an update - It's Easter - Happy Easter everyone!!! and I've had no contact with him - WooHoo - go me!!! Crazy thing is, I'm doing okay - and am not really even hurting. I slept fine last night, no nightmares, etc... maybe this means I'm truly separated from all this and that I REALLY don't want to work on this relationship anymore - I'm sure you realize what I mean, the breaking up & getting back together cycle that some relationships go through over and over before the final break. I just hope and pray that he has spent the last 2 days packing and moving out... not sure what I'm going to do if he is still there. I've talked a bit with my family and even though they like him, they say this is for the best... I can't live my life with an alcoholic and the rollercoaster ride that comes along with that... let alone his plans on cheating on me - which quite frankly was prolly just something he "made up" to hurt me... but even if it wasn't - the thought of him sleeping with someone else actually brings a sense of relief to me, knowing that he's somebody else's problem now. My mom thinks it's sad, but that I can't fix or cure this disease for him - and that it's no wonder he's an alcoholic, with what happened to him during his childhood. That may be true but a person can't use that as an excuse forever - fix it, solve it and work through it - be an adult, right??? I'm not too knowledgeable in the alcoholisim department and I've been too hurt by make this individual to try and learn more. I've just gotta focus on healing myself now... hopefully he'll follow suit. Thank you everyone for supporting me through this, it's not as easy as how I make it look - I'm sure all you guys know that... I'll update later tonight or tomorrow on whether on not he moved out... and what am I gonna do if he didn't?????
  9. temperamental_taurus
    A question - I can't find my entire tread of "Put a Fork in Me - I'm Done" - can entire threads get deleted or what??? Moderators - do you knows??
  10. temperamental_taurus
    Well, I wouldn't necessarily call him HONEST - I kinda tricked him into telling me - and it's definitely not a honest thing to plan to cheat behind someone's back, knowing that you are going to do it while she's out of town for Easter and then getting pissed off enough to tell her about it!!! Ah well, I'm truly at a loss for words because I'm just not feeling much right now - I'll prolly have longer heart-breaking posts later on - I'm off to pack - I need outta here before I cry... hugs to all of you, I'm jumping on the No Contact wagon that everyone else is on right now - we'll see how THAT goes, and I'll update on Sunday whether or not he packed his stuff and left!!! Thanks everyone for helping me through this - it means alot to me!!!
  11. temperamental_taurus
    Thanks DN, if all else fails I'll get a second job for the next 3 months - I'll see how it goes... not interested in fighting anymore, ya know? I'll be better off - and I truly just hate him now - I just feel kinda dead inside.
  12. temperamental_taurus
    I know, completely unbelieveable, right?! I knew something was up!!! I told him I want him out of the apartment by the time I return from out of town on Sunday. He'll still owe half the rent, because we're both on the lease - but I don't even care about THAT at this point - I just want him away from me. Don't worry, I'm not gonna put HIS stuff outside, I'm never lifting one FINGER for him again - except maybe my middle one - har, har... Well, I better pack and get out of here before he wakes up and starts in on me again, he already told me it'll be a day of hot, sweaty sex for him... whatever - he'll prolly just end up spending the entire weekend drinking...
  13. temperamental_taurus
    Well, for those who were following my other post, my relationship was on it's last legs... He said he wasn't going out of town with me as we had plans to do, and I found out why. He had something "lined up" and was planning on sleeping with her!!! HE'S OUT!!! I will NEVER AGAIN TRUST HIM - what a liar. I'm not too upset though - weird huh? I'm glad I tricked him into telling me, and I finally got the truth. Hope he's happy with her, I give it 6 months and she'll see him for what he really is too!!! I wish I could curse on this site... What a JERK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  14. temperamental_taurus
    Guess I'll be posting on a different website now - he admitted (with a bit of sly manuevering on my part) that he had plans to sleep with someone tomorrow - no wonder he didn't wanna go to my parents' house!!! I knew it!!! I told him I want him out of the apartment before I return on Sunday - he's dead to me. The cheating, lying son of a BLEEP!!!!!!!!! He's pathetic and I hate him!
  15. temperamental_taurus
    Ah well, change is always short-lived... my parents had invited both of us to Easter dinner 2 weeks ago. At that time he accepted the invitation to go - Well, once again the loser dug his own grave - he said tonight he doesn't want to go and isn't going (we were to leave for their house tomorrow), and my family had spent this time getting ready to incude him in our Easter. How disrespectful!!! I find this completely insulting to my family. Not only THAT but our Easter will be strained due to this new development. I'm done trying and told him I've reached my limit and we're over. He immediately went out and bought a 12 pack - and got nastier as he drank. I think he knew he couldn't hang onto sobriety and caused this fight so he COULD drink. He started taking close up digital pictures of me so he can "remember my fat rolls" etc. Ahh - what a loser, I'm not wasting anymore time here. And once my family knows he cancelled on them last minute, they'll probably not have any respect or like for him anyways - what's left, right??? I can't wait until I can get out of here, how much longer??? I will be traveling ALONE to my family's house and will enjoy the seperation - I need it... I told him while I'm gone he needs to move everything into the second bedroom that he will now be staying in. Wow, how sad for him - he's so lost. Not so sad for me, I only wasted a year... Thank God!!!
  16. temperamental_taurus
    Another update... on a positive note he didn't come home with beer last night and said that as long as we're together, he's not going to drink and he's going to start taking anti-depressants because when he took them before he said they made him feel better. I was so proud that he came to this decision - it made me cry. So, these are steps in the right direction!!!
  17. temperamental_taurus
    He will find someone else to abuse, they always do. and it kinda ticks me off that you claim you are happily married, so obviously you have a decent man in your life, and you are ABUSING him... when here I am, struggling in my relationship, wanting that happy UNION, which always seems to escape me - but if I EVER find it, I'll put everything I've got into it because I'll recognize the VALUE of what I have... I believe that we are all given a certain number of chances in this life, and if we screw them up, we may not ever have the opportunity to have something good again... So, knock it off with that other married guy, maybe talk to your husband about what's been going on and know that you ARE strong enough to conquer ANYTHING!!!
  18. temperamental_taurus
    Sawsan - What you are having with this other man is called an "emotional affair" it IS considered a form of cheating to some people. I understand your pain, yes, addiction hurts - and some of the hardest things to do in life are the RIGHT things... BUT if you are happily married, why put your relationship with your husband at risk by continuing to keep in touch with someone that OBVIOUSLY is emotionally abusing you? Why do you feel like you deserve this treatment? Do WHATEVER you have to - change your phone number, block his number, cancel any current email addresses & get new ones - there ARE ways to prevent him from contacting you. You need to go NO CONTACT with this individual IMMEDIATELY and perhaps invest that time & energy on your husband.
  19. temperamental_taurus
    Well, a bit of an update... So, he read this thread, like I said earlier nbd to him, then it started yet another fight - ugh, am I sick of fighting! So, I guess he got a bit bitter and said that I was unhealthy for HIM - ha ha haaaa! That he drinks because of ME and that he smokes because of ME - he's delusional. I'm the only HEALTHY thing in his life. I have tried to discuss his drinking with him before, he just gets pissed off and drinks more - I do not drink, maybe socially on occasion. Yes, I smoke - but that does NOT mean he has to. He also said I am in the way of his career goals!!! LMAO - whatever dude, I'm a Director, that's what he's striving for, I have the intelligence, ambition and work ethic that IS beneficial - I even help him with his schoolwork - JEEZERS!!! He then blames ME because I don't get along with his family... Long story with THAT one but it is due to their religion that THEY have treated ME poorly. I'm not Mormon, thus I'm an outsider, I have never really been included, spoken to, or accepted and when he and I have problems, his mother just tells him that he needs to go find "a good little Mormon girl" (as if THAT will solve all his problems???) Whateva!!! He also said that I need to learn how to take care of my man by having dinner ready when he gets home, cleaning, doing all the laundry, all the shopping etc... WTF???? I don't think so, not in MY lifetime will I ever SERVE a man. And he said my expectations of him are all over the place and it's like trying to shoot a moving target; that he could never meet my expectations - Are they so hard??? Take some responsiblity within our relationship and the house; get your drinking under control and think of ME sometimes???? That doesn't seem so hard to me - I do it everyday!!! SO - this morning (we slept in separate bedrooms) I have to wake him up for work, cause he didn't get up; I also noticed he left the front door unlocked and open; when he left for work I had to shut the window that he left open in his room, go through his path in the house shutting off all the lights he once again left on... No concern for utility bills or our personal property or protection for that matter... This guy at work who's been following my story for quite a few months now said today that my b/f is really missing the boat on this one, that he'll never stop the drinking as long as he has someone else to blame besides himself and that he has been there and lost a woman that he really loved because he was so out of touch with his feelings and that my b/f is really gonna hurt when I'm gone. I don't know about the hurt part, I truly think he THINKS what he's doing is right. A sad situation, but one that I don't want in my life. He needs help... I even said I'd go to meetings with him last night, whatever I can do to help him with his drinking - it was brushed off... it sucks to watch a person you care for slowly kill themselves... and I just can't see how, when he sits down and finishes his 12th beer of the night, that he doesn't have a moment of clarity and think Wow... ok, I MAY just have a problem here... and that maybe all this alcohol is somehow affecting my relationship, maybe, just maybe it's dulling my feelings, and bringing me down???
  20. temperamental_taurus
    Birdgirl - hey sweetie, it sounds like we are in the same boat *hugs* to you - we both need them right now... I guess what we can hold onto as we enter into our "single life" is that at least being single they can't neglect us!!! We can focus that love for them internally and take care of ourselves for a change... spoil US!!! He's locked in the computer room, (as usual) he read this whole post while I was out at the gym... had to throw it in my face when I got home. Do you think he even CARES? Nope. No light bulb above the head - NOTHING. What dummies they are... they'll never maintain a quality relationship with anyone. But that's not our concern... As for me, we have 3 more months to go... doubtful ANYTHING will get better because he just doesn't SEE what he's doing (or not doing) - he thinks I'M just TOO needy, and I don't care what he thinks anymore. I KNOW what it should feel like, and this is not it. Their loss for sure - ah well.... Keep in touch, we can get through this!!!
  21. temperamental_taurus
    My female is on her way there, she's only 6 or 7 months old and ALREADY weighs 8 pounds... I guess there's something to be said for "Fat and Happy" cause she sure seems content !!! (and my male kitty doesn't seem to mind either)
  22. temperamental_taurus
    LOL - I was REFERRING to the the post about my kitties losing their tails - LOL, silly boy
  23. temperamental_taurus
    And totally off topic but it has been said..."When Mother Nature saw fit to remove the tail of the Manx, she left, in place of the tail, more cat." And this is SO true in my case... =)
  24. temperamental_taurus
    I can totally appreciate that... isn't it unfortunate that it takes losing the thing that you love to change you...??? I wanna scream "change, before it's too late!!!", but I'm afraid in this case it already is. I've heard too many promises of "I'm gonna be so good to you" yet never see it. It's so sad. What is also sad is that his previous g/f of 2 years told me that all he ever did was lie on the couch & drink - obviously losing HER didn't wake him up, I doubt losing me will either... but I guess that is not my problem to worry about anymore, God, it's going to hurt losing him because I DO LOVE HIM, and I've done all the right things - another failure on my part... does it ever stop????
  25. temperamental_taurus
    He's 30 - believe it or not and I've stayed because he loves to cuddle at night, tucks me into bed every night and gives me hugs & kisses alot... but besides that we don't go anywhere (besides out to eat) or do anything. We've been together almost a year and we have NEVER gone out dancing, or out on a Friday or Saturday night. He is just fine on his computer all night (usually doing homework, but even when he's not he's still in there) What we DO do is rent movies nightly - yup every night. We also have gone on a few trips - but it's after months of frustration on my part to get us there. I feel like my prison in a 8x5 foot couch - at least I've got cable. I buy him little things (like pens, bracelets, t-shirts, etc) when I'm out shopping because I'm thinking about him - he has NEVER done that, and says I shouldn't expect gifts from him - that he doesn't need to buy my love. I take care of all of our needs - whether it's keeping track of what we need around the house, going and purchasing those needs, what appts & bills are coming due & even where everything is -OH AND all of our emotional needs as well. My cats follow me around because I love on them, give them special treats and make sure they have adaquate stimulation during the day - they pretty much ignore him because he doesn't even interact with THEM... it's all driving me crazy... he's not a BAD person, I just feel like he is not a part of this relationship - he said he doesn't want the "duties" that come along with being a husband... I don't think I'm THAT unattractive or fat... I don't get what I'm doing wrong; this is me ---> link removed
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