temperamental_taurus

Thanks for the wonderful advice... I know I deserve better than what I'm getting - I do care about him, but am beginning to realize that he's not what i'm looking for... HE says that I'm just too needy and that I am high maintenance and that I'm a perfectionist and I will never find that perfect relationship because it doesn't exist - so I should just "be happy" with what I've got...

I live with the guy (we're both on the lease) so moving out right now isn't an option, so you see I'm kinda stuck... I've tried to make it work, I've talked about my needs, etc with only little change. It is not the worst relationship there ever was... he doesn't cheat on me, he isn't very verbally abusive (unless he's pissed), he takes out the trash... but what he IS is emotionally neglectful, an alcoholic, a slob, selfish and immature. His drinking has increased to 12 beers a night now (yes, I've talked to him about this MULTIPLE TIMES), the sex lasts 5 minutes TOPS, there's NO foreplay, I'm never sexually satisfied (yes, I've covered this issue with him too)- unless I do it myself, whenever I approach him for sex I'm told "no." - sex is ONLY on his watch,when HE wants it, and if he DOES finally agree when I approach him, it is the crappiest sex and he & complains, rolls his eyes & makes disgusted faces - even FARTS right before we start. He feels more like a roommate to me. He is against ever remarrying & I need that commitment (not necessarily from HIM though - when I think of marrying him I almost have an anxiety attack). He's not marriage material in my mind... Does he love me? Probably - but it is a selfish love; he loves me because of how I make HIM feel - but I get little to nothing in return. When I try and talk to him about my needs he say I'M THE SELFISH ONE. Is it selfish to want sexual satisfaction? Is it selfish to want him to remember to pick something up at the store??? Is it selfish of me to ask him to take some responsibilty around the house other than JUST his needs? I thought that is what a relationship was about, maybe I'm confused... So, I'm fed up... last night I approached him for sex - even gave him head... first he farted under the blankets and pushed my head in there - a dutch oven he called it??? GROSS!! Then he humped me (sorry to be so blunt but that's essentially what it was) for about 20 seconds & came. After sex we were kinda horse-playing around and he got upset & slept in the other room. I warned him - he REALLY didn't wanna cause a fight right now - but he did it anyways. No regard to a woman's perception of "getting his & leaving" and how that makes a woman feel abandoned. Whelp, I think it might have been the final straw... I'm so SICK of his childish antics... I'm sick of having to take care of everything, I'm sick of having crappy sex and I"M SICK OF TALKING ABOUT IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER. The lease is up in 3 months - HE says we should just stay together, buy a condo and just live life - but I'm not sure this is a good idea. I can't IMAGINE living life this way - or am I being dumb? Maybe I should just deal with it??? Maybe this is how real life is??? He told me that since I'm a little fat girl now, that I need to just shut up and quit my because he's the best I'm gonna get (yes, I have put on a little weight lately) BUT I did just join the gym again, am eating right and WILL lose it. So whadduya think, guys? Should I stay because he IS faithful and maybe I'M being too demanding or do I run like hell??? Please, I need your input now...

LOL - that sounds like something I did a couple of years ago... I had broken it off, really didn't want him back - but was kinda bummed out when he didn't come crawling back, so I text messaged him, etc... mainly to see if he'd bite - he did.

I agree - being in a relationship isn't all it's cracked up to be... I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year and basically I feel as though there is nothing left. There's just no intimacy anymore. Sometimes I wonder if I'd be better off single - at least the possibility of having more fun is there. Right now, we come home, eat dinner and he goes in on his computer, while I watch tv. Day in and day out. Woo hoo - what a life. The quality of sex is extremely low, jump on, jump off and wash up. I've come to recognize the back of my boyfriend's head better than his face... it's sad, sad, sad... half the time I feel more alone than in a relationship anyways... but if I were to be on my own... at least then it'd be by choice. I am envious of you, hold your standards high... and only accept the best for yourself - trust me, to do anything less is a waste of your life and time.

I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now. We moved in together after apporximately 4 or 5 months after we got together. It's been a bit rocky from time to time - with getting adjusted to living together and just past relationship baggage that we both brought with us. We had trust issues, concerns about his nightly drinking & pot habit. But, through it all, we were always very touchy-feely with each other, always told each other we loved each other, the lines of communication were always open. Lately, something has changed. He rarely touches me anymore - unless it's to have sex. I don't hear "I love you" like I used to, the conversation runs dry alot of the time... we're not arguing or anything, and I don't believe there is any infedelity going on. He rarely smiles, seems distant and bored. I've asked him if he still loves me, etc - and his reply is that he does & is content & satisfied - but saying that and his actions and lack of re-action to me tells me something different. He's also snaps at me a little more lately... I'm not sure what all this means - and I don't want to bring it up again with him because he gets upset when he feels like I'm asking him whats wrong and he has already told me "nothing". He walked out today with just a "have a good day" - no kiss goodbye or anything... So help me guys - what do YOU think is going on??? What should I do, etc??? HELP PLEASE!!!

Internet dating is EVIL... I have YEARS of experience in this area. "Never date a chatter - 'cause they are always playing around in someone else's box"... In layman's terms - if they are talking to you, they're talking to at least 20 or more other people that you don't know about. It is so easy to meet alot of different people very quickly, so it seems that people lose their ability to bond to any ONE person - there are 100 more where you came from... and variety is the spice of life, right? The filth that goes on over the internet is very disturbing to me. I have been propostioned by married men, offered money to perform oral/sexual favors, have been cheated on, lied to, exposed to all forms of disgusting fetishes - my experiences are too many to list. I think the perversion that exists deep within someone is allowed a bit closer to the surface because of the anonymity that the internet allows. Luckily, after having met at least a hundred men and having my heart broken BADLY by a man who was addicted to meeting women over the internet and ended up cheating on me with one of them and falling in love with another one - just through emails and the phone lines... I met a wonderful man - Yes, from on-line... but he for whatever reason is a decent man... we now live together and have been together for almost a year now. But it wasn't easy at first... internet dating made us BOTH distrustful of each other because we had both gone through similar experiences via the net. For some, the net & internet dating is literally an addiction. Yes you can meet alot of people, but alot more than you would in a typical year through typical dating techniques. My advice is be careful... and once a relationship is established make sure all internet dating sites & chat sites are abandoned immediately... and be aware & safe! That's my 2 cents, for what it's worth =)

another great website for support is: link removed You'll find great people who are going through the same thing you are!!!

1. Have you ever seriously considered committing suicide? (you can answer no and I will post that response too) Yes; and one failed attempt (pills) when I was in 9th grade. 2. What led you to consider suicide? The time in 9th grade I had tried to OD on little blue pills I had found in my father's medicine cabinet. It was due to the pressure of school and being a teachers' kid - high grades EXPECTED; long story but a teacher gave me a "C" and it was unacceptable... But most recently was due to a failed relationship with a sociopath who had literally broke down my mental strength. I wanted to die!!! My self-esteem was so low; he had been abusive; I was afraid that at any moment I would lose it; I felt unstable and scared of these feelings... like any little thing would send me over the edge. 3. What caused you to not commit suicide? I can only describe it as God interveaned. I was driving home to visit my family, I had alerted them on how I was feeling, that I just wanted to die... As I was driving down the road, hoping that a semi or any other vehicle would cross the median and end my pain; tears streaming down my face, I desperately asked God if there was ANY reason I should stay... and at that EXACT MOMENT my cell phone rang, and it was the United Blood Foundation, in desperate need of my blood type and begged me to donate. I can not describe the awe that I experienced. I asked for an answer and I got one. From that point on, I KNEW I was supposed to stick around and every time I heard a song that I loved, I thought to myself, wow, I'd miss hearing that song if I weren't here or every time I saw a gorgeous landscape I appreciated it for it's beauty and knew there are plenty of reasons to be thankful for being alive. I went on to donate blood and have continued to do so... 4. Do you have any advice for anyone thinking about committing suicide? Don't do it... Even if things feel like they couldn't possibly get any worse or any better - they can and DO... why not stay around and FIGHT to PROVE to yourself you CAN DO IT, you can make it through!!! Life has a funny way of figuring itself out... trust me - DO NOT GIVE UP!!! Remember, what doesn't kill you makes you STRONGER!!!

I ALWAYS wear it... even before the accident. I know that it is perfectly normal for me to be freaked out driving right now, the anxiety attacks and everything - but the nightmares??? I don't get it and I want them to stop... they are terrible...

I read another girl's post about her having nightmares and it encouraged me to write... I also have terrible nightmares - EVERY NIGHT. It has happened since I was in a roll over accident on January 25 of this year. My boyfriend was driving and the tred fell off the tire, it sent us out of control, my truck went off the road, flipped over. We both lived - I had just put my seat belt on 2 miles before the accident - he wasn't wearing his. Neither of us were hurt all that badly... minor scraps etc... so why the nightmares EVERYNIGHT??? I've dreamed of the roll over a few times, but mostly it is dreaming that I lose my boyfriend... usually he breaks up with me etc... I have horrible feelings of abandonment. FInally, when I wake up, I'm soaked in sweat, usually tied up in my sheets and relieved that my boyfriend is lying asleep next to me. The sadness is so over-whelming that the feeling lasts throughout the day. Because I know what to expect when I fall asleep at night, I dread going to bed... why is this happening? What can I do? I didn't have these nightmares before...