sarsapolis6

KNOW!! Friday was like a rollercoaster ride. The mood was up, I was feeling great, me and this girl had a great time. But before sex..everything went down hill FAST. I met her at the place, and we were kissing and everything. I decided to go into the shower and she wanted to do it there. I had a condom on didn't want any water to touch the condom because I wasn't sure if condoms are water resistant. (I am THAT paranoid of STDs) Now, the shower was hot and we were snuggled close and my penis was good and hard. So, maybe I should've started there. Maybe. But I decided to go out and to the bed. She was wet already and it kinda grossed me out a little when I saw her juices. But that didn't stop me. What stopped me was that no matter how hard I was, it wasn't enough to penetrate!! I tried it once, (she was in doggy position) and my penis kept bending to the side. When I tried to anchor it in, I went soft! After that we tried everything to revive it but I kept going soft. She told me to think of erotic thoughts. Didn't help. I looked at her and masturbated. Didn't work. I didn't FEEL NERVOUS AT ALL! The whole process turned into a job rather than something to enjoy. Sometimes I got hard but I tested it myself using my hand and I started to bend like a wet noodle. I need advice on this please. Kegels are supposed to stave off premo ejaculation and I did several of those. But what about getting hard and staying hard? I am a young guy and I was very frustrated that nothing happened. Another thing. I don't know why I was so grossed out to see her discharge and also is the slight fish smell common with all females down there? She didn't reek, because the smell wasn't overpowering.

what about telling how exciting my weekend was? this has always been my biggest problem because usually my weekends are plain. This weekend for example, i went to my friend's housewarming party and was greeted by the friendliest chow chow known to man. It was wagging its tail stupidly but I was still wary of it because I've heard over and over that they are temperamentmental dogs. anyways, that is what the public thinks.. When i retell the story to her she might share her opinions about dogs, but would pretty much be an ordinary conversation. last weekend i went to a film festival and told her about the movie i saw. In another forum, this is what a girl said to me: it's in the details. i think listing out events is boring. Getting into the details of the sandwhich you made on Sunday or the freak you saw on the bus on Saturday would be more interesting. It's in how you tell the story." So, then what she was getting at is that it is OK to talk about where you went and all, but to make the conversation more EXCITING, i should share my observations on anything that STOOD OUT or anything special or DIFFERENT that I did, which always involves an ACTION. This happened to me two weeks ago, but it is still fresh in my mind and people are known to bring up stories: I was at a karoake bar and we had a concoction called Hyp Ice Tea. My buddy and I got on the stage and did a very very drunk imitation of Run DMC. We had scripted out our performance, but we were so drunk that we kept colliding into each other. Still, this story might be interesting to only a few people, because hey..everyone gets drunk and silly at a bar during the weekend. its common. What isn't common is trail riding on bikes and coming accross a rattlesnake in the middle of the road..totally defiant and obviously pissed. This happened to a while back as well, but when I told the story to my co-workers they thought I was making it. heh heh, dayum I need help..

category. I wonder if it is already too late with this girl. I was quiet, and she was the one who was the aggressor, asking questions about me and laughing. She mentioned things about me in her attempt to open me up more. I guess I have no problem with that, but now I fear that when I do talk to her I don't output the same level of energy and intensity that she does. (I've made her laugh, but not side-splitting laughter. I haven't said anything funny that has stuck with her for days. My mind is more on the class than her, but I don't want to miss out on connecting with her. This IS the summer after all. So, my brother tells me that I should just flirt with her..have fun with her. But, how exactly? In a classroom setting only, what are the best ways to flirt with a girl beyond complimenting her? I don't want to compliment her in the class because there is ANOTHER girl sitting right next to me that I have an interest in. The vision or goal that I'm looking at is where me, her, and the other girl have formed our own mini-group in the class, laughing and having fun. Then, after class we still connect via phone or email and I go to a few house parties that she hosts with her friends. And instead of being treated like a FRIEND I'm respected as a guy with a little bit of an interesting edge. And, most importantly, I'M NOT BORING. The risk right now is that I am making myself into a boring person when I'm around her. Girls who desire friendships and/or lovers aren't interested in boring guys.

yeah, what topics are NOT boring to talk about or flirt with? If a girl in my class did something cool to her hair and complimented it, would that be flirting or a compliment?

I'm taking the middle road because I've experienced the negatives of being in a relationship AND being alone. Relationships..I envy guys who were able to say the right words and act in the right ways that lead them into committed relationships with girls. The hugs, the sex, that special feeling of being next to someone who's beautiful from within and out..that is only a small part of what makes a relationship great. but the first poster is right. If you're in a relationship that is always about You and Me, without avenues to explore other things in life with other people, (platonically..lets not get any ideas!) then your life will get shallow. This fear came true. I spent so much time trying to woo this girl last year. Finally reached her plateau of interest, and we spent time together. (no sex, awhhh) Anyways, so much of my focus was on her and I that I began to lose touch with what was going on in the bigger social sphere. It's OK to do this when you're old and gray, but not when you're in your twenties. When we broke up, I vowed that I would spend more time building and maintaining friendships with as many people as possible. Naturally, I would have fun with a commitment. In any case I stuck to my word and participated in a play, something I never would've done before when I was in a relationship. And, being single and alone isn't helpful and healthy and really, really sucks. When I broke up I didn't have a cushion of close friends and buddies to land upon..I was pretty much alone and I felt lost.

My co-worker suggested this to me for the summer as a way to enliven my personality and open up more, especially if I portray a character whose personality is opposite of mine. Someone humorous, jovial, loud.. However, it's one thing to memorize lines..but it's another thing when you have to memorize a personality. Has acting helped you grow more into having a more people-friendly personality? Or, do you feel the same once you've gone out of character? I was in a performance last fall, and I played a character who was very...out there. He had a big laugh, he talked positively, and he had a little entourage of close friends. (I played a stereotypical high school jock..our play was a student production with an original script) When I took that role, I thought.. "maybe this role could help strengthen my personality." Unfortunately that wasn't the case, because outside of rehearsal I still had a tough time interacting with the other actors on a highly positive basis. I would smile, act friendly but something in me refused to allow me to improve myself. [/i]

After my breakup with my girlfriend (who basically stopped talking to me without giving an reason why), I was in an emotional slump. I have a dour mood, my co-workers keep telling me "SMILE, man..you're looking to serious!" or "Is something wrong?". I talk in an almost disinterested monotonous voice and I move like I'm drained of life. Going to bed at 1 am doesn't help things. I look at other normal people who can easily make others feel at ease and I tell myself..no wonder these guys can have girlfriends or get married or have fun on the side..their sense of humor is THERE. I think that this is what's missing primarely in me..the ability to infuse good, funny thoughts in others. Ladies often talk about how the winners are guys (of any kind, race, look) who can make ladies laugh. So true. But is it a natural ability or something that CAN be learned? I don't want to be a standup comedian, but yet I want to be a more positive thinking person who could view some things in not an always serious light. People don't say it directly, but they know that I act too serious at times. One good thing about me is that I'm not a complainer. Whiners shouldn't get any respect, especially if they don't try to solve the problems. Anyways, I'm looking to enjoy my summer meeting and hopefully developing friendships with improved conversation skills. Have a great summer, and I look forward to your answers

internal) from making new friends with people or at least, portray yourself as a friendly, non-threatening person who could easily talk and get along with any stranger accross class lines, racial lines, e.t.c.? (for example, you don't expect to be friends with the security personnal in the lobby but everyday you say hello and engage in conversation about both of your favorite basketball teams.) What would you recommend to help make the Introductory "You" stand out as a likable person? This is what I REALLY need to work on, because I keep hearing about how a person can send off negative vibes to others without even knowing it.

I think you need to take a deeper look at yourself. I mean this by really analyzing the things that you need to improve upon. What if it's your personality? People don't get along with others if the personality isn't lively, positive and open. It's a hard thing to change..I know that myself. I am a serious person. I try to put myself in a lightened mood, but I am just not as positive or fun-expressing as some of the other guys that I know. These guys have lots of friends, have love interests, and can get along with people..they're people persons. But I am not..at least not yet. That's why my friendships are shallow. I have a disgusting pattern of knowing someone, but then after a while I stop calling them or they stop calling me. And then it might be months until I call back. Whereas you have people who call every single week, thus solidifying friendships. Anyone in this forum, am I right?! I am sorry that you feel this way..and I feel upset that I'm in the same situation as well. It hasn't helped me in relationships..I think part of the reason why I don't have girlfriends for long is because they can't get used to my vibe. (however, they don't tell me that, which I think is unfair). I am not a very humorous person, with jokes, hilarious stories, and witty comments coming out of my mouth. At my current age, a man who has that package is definetly a friend magnet. But if he's not, then you'd better ignore him or stay away from him. This is the attitude you would expect from people who come accross negative people. And the thing about it is that I rarely say negative things when I'm around people. I am not a complainer or a whiner. When things go wrong, I roll with it and let the more emotionally charged people blow up. But I fear that I show hardly any emotion at all sometimes. Women do like guys who show their emotional side...if they're happy about something, mad, hurt..and so on. I went to a party tonight and pumped myself up to it..listening to positive music and recording myself words of encouragement. But once I got there my spirits changed and throughout the whole night I didn't dance once. NOT EVEN ONCE! I bobbed to the music, and spoke out the lyrics of songs that they played. I became into my serious self again. I read that at a party you should smile, to show people that you're an OK person. But, simply because none of the girls knew me at the party, they did not look at me nor smiled at me. This caused me to withdrawn in myself, and so I stood. Meanwhile the guys I knew were dancing on the floor, having fun even though hardly anyone was there at the party. They seemed to enjoy themselves and even showed off. But I didn't do the same thing. I felt like I was a teacher chaperone at a prom while the others danced. I greeted a girl I knew (one of my associate's girlfriends) and she went back to her spot. I made a mistake.. I should've talked more with her even though the music was loud. I don't know what made me stay away from her. I could've convinced her to introduce me to some of her other friends, which is what I was hoping to do. And if not, then that would be OK. But I did nothing. Doing nothing to further develop my social networking is a serious crime for myself because I will end up with nothing. Another problem was that I left too soon. When I arrived at the car, I realized that what I had done was detrimental to me. Why leave early when my associate, his girl and others were still in the club? I left before the music was off and people could actually talk to one another without shouting. I feel very upset about this mistake because I used to do the same thing in highschool. Once again, I lose out. I will go to see counseling, and explain why I self sabotage my efforts at developing strong friendships.

your current friends? What common obstacles did you have to face or still have to face? The social scene to me is like an mountain climb with nothing but loose pebbles to grab on to. I'm in a class right now with a mixed group of people (got their numbers already) and I've been talking with them more. Before it was only two of them talking to each other while me and my other classmate concentrated on classwork. Now, after midterms and between the final we're starting to talk more. I'm interested in expanding my social network. Whether these people are as well remains to be seen, because I've seen them talking on cellphones, waiting outside of the hall with some of their friends. One tactic that I'm starting to do is mention things that I did over the weekend..such as doing maintenance on my mountain bike. Regular BS conversations that could draw out a similar interest from one of my classmates. ("Oh, you like to ride bikes? Yeah, I just bought a Klein Palomino for myself a few months ago. Blah Blah Blah)

She's acting on her own feelings. I think you should too. Watch and observe some more..if she hangs out with three other guys constantly and doesn't show a smidget of affection (like suddenly you're watching a movie and she comes up and romantically cuddles with you like a real girlfriend) towards you, then you'll recognize that she's not THAT into you. I like that you've been talking to other girls, which means that you're not relying on building something with this one girl. Because what if you become so infatuated and began to put more effort into her liking you? Dude, you're going up against 3 OTHER GUYS. And her ex.. She sounds like she's really confused and my best advice is to focus fully on your own love life. Establish some ground rules with her.. (if you already have, then cool!) like don't bring any of her other boyfriends at your place. Because I know how that feels.. the girl that you like is with another man at YOUR place. Sucks. About the living situation: If she puts in her own weight, from help cleaning up to paying the rent, then she's free to do whatever she wants to do. If she wants to use your place as a "base of operations" and still respects you and your place with dignity then I see no problem. This happens ALOT in my current college environment. You are not alone! Hope this helps

i don't know what her inner motive is, though Anyways, dancing is the closest thing a man will probably get with a woman. I'll watch the signs, spend some time..

Fellas, Have any happy endings hook-ups arose from taking a modern dance class? Or, a salsa class? The thought just crossed my mind..because I will take a dance class this summer and 9 out of 10 I will be in the prescense of females. I don't have big expectations, and my interest will be more in learning the dance. There will be a female friend of mine who wants to take the dance class with me (she convinced me, actually)

going on or NOT going on with their friends and "associates"? What the psychology behind that? One person, who isn't the bragging type tells another person that he/she is doing something that to most people, would be really cool. But the other person shows no interest at all, not even a tinge of deep-seated jealously. He or she just doesn't give a dog. Any reasons?

What you did to keep him from going down the wrong path was admirable. Anyone should do that. But the next step is to refer him to a guidance counselor (Kaiser Permanente or whatever medical service that is in your area). If the issue of SUICIDE is involved, then it's best that they need professional help. So when he IMs or emails you back, shoot him an emergency number. Then, back away from this. how could you classify him as a friend? Especially if you've only met him once in person and the rest of the time online? Here in SF, a friend (from offline) qualifies as someone who I've spent enough time with in person together.

Ahhhhrghhh!! WHY DO THE LADIES DO THIS? What's wrong with coming accross straight-forward? When I date, I try to at least find out whether they're in a relationship or not..and even that doesn't help. What starts out from "I'm just dating..nothing serious" suddenly and abruptly turns into "well, there is this guy I've been seeing for a few months now.." Well, that's Spring Fever..at least you've got your cushion of friends to enjoy the summer with.

Keep sending her messages to reassure her that you're not mad at her. This is the first time I've heard of someone getting over-worked up on someone else's problem..she must really really be INTO YOU! If you feel that you can deal with your problems, then maybe some downtime by yourself is what you need. At least you're doing your best to communicate with her.. if this was on the opposite end (and this has happened to me in past relationships) she probably would've kept you in the dark without telling what's the problem with her up front.

no one still hasn't answered my question.. Has anyone gone to a club on this forum at all?

club? Another way to say my question is: WHAT DO PEOPLE USUALLY TALK ABOUT AT A DANCE CLUB? On a positive note my conversational skills are improving..thanks to practice and everyone who's posted on Enotalone. But the club scene eludes me. I just can't seem to fit everyday regular indepth conversation at the club with anyone, but I'm amazed and (a little envious) that others can. My conversation amongst guys is usually limited to: "Hey check out that girl" or "I talked to the girl by the stairs.." What usually works with you when you're conversating at a club or lounge? Do you tell stories about humorous or interesting events that happened to you? Do you talk about other things which are totally unrelated to the current club environment? Just curious, and very interested in finding my voice soon..before next Saturday night When I'm at work or in the classroom I can carry on or start up a conversation. In the club, I've already used very corny sayings like "this DJ is great!"

it when guys agree with them ALL OF THE TIME in a conversation. We (me included) guys tend to do that sometimes.. based upon the old-fashioned notion that if we compliment a girl's every thought and opinion then she'll LIKE US!!! What questions should I ask that could challenge a girl's point of view in a non-harmful, and intelligent way? I want to speak my mind without any offense to her. So far the only question I have is: Why is that so important to you? When she talks very passionately about an activity or a career goal. Thanks, enjoy your Saturday!

Interested in specific words to use in my conversation with a girl, that don't communicate "I'm needy, I really really really want to talk to you because I haven't seen you in a while, could we be boyfriend/girlfriend?" I always seem to be on a tightrope whenever I convey my interests to a girl. Sometimes I might get "that's just too strong of an approach"

Especially, within an urban environment? Is it at class? Through college club memberships? Church? Or is it mostly through a friend? My problem is that I know people but I've rarely had situations where they would straight-up introduce me to another one of their friends. It's the equivalent of window-shopping at a store that has way too expensive items to buy. I check my personality and behaviors, and I act sane. I need to be more humorous, but I'm working on that. As a go-getter, what I usually end up doing is introducing myself to people alone, and it works sometimes. But I get envious when I hear the words, "Pete, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine..his name is Robert." OR "Hey, don't sweat it..I'll hook you up with them." Any reason why I'm out of the loop? I have value as a person.. I draw and animate. I might not play the guitar but I'm involved in what many people my age tend to think of as "cool". [/b]

it's amazing how on one day, when you first meet a new co-worker he's all friendly and smiles. At lunch, (it's required that we everyone goes to lunch as a group) you might talk about favorite sports teams, share common interests, regular B.S. conversations. But then the next day or days after that he acts aloof and doesn't talk to you at all, but instead gets along well with the other employees. And it has nothing to do with seniority, because the other employees recently started a few days ago. So what's up with that? Why are some guys and gals given the cold shoulder for no apparent reason at work? What could make you suddenly stop talking to a co-worker? I need to ask this question for myself because I admit doing the same damn things!

words.. I want to learn how to flirt successfully in order to get to the next level. I saw a movie last night and one of the guys playfully told a group of girls, "Do any of you fine young ladies tell me where we could get a nice steak this time of the night? And the girl replied "You mean something big, thick, and juicy?" I could easily tell that he made a sexual innuedo. But a lot of people say that sexual innuedos are socially inappropriate. But are they really? When you go to a party or any big social event where a group of your buddies can meet a group of girls, what's usually said between the sexes that eventually could lead to some further fun? I go out with my friends and watch what they do, but they always say that whatever you say doesn't matter..because eventually everyone will be so drunk that anything you say will be funny. That's a load of BS. I've also listened in to what another friend might say to a girl just to get an idea of what's exactly said. That doesn't help. Guys, from your own experiences could you please outline the necessary verbal steps to develop a girl's sexual interest in you? What works and what doesn't work? Should I be blunt? I am not fearful of rejection from girls, but actually fearful of not having anything daring or exciting to say beyond a simple compliment. And some girls are usually sick of hearing compliments day in and day out. Thanks![/i]

opinion about most things..or even had some information that he/she desired to share with others. Would that person had to have become a good and constant reader, or does personal experience weigh more than what book/newspaper article you've read? I noticed that people in my class seem to talk just about anything that comes to mind..it could be an opinion about someone or something, or maybe share information on how to do certain things. thereforeeee are books really the key to becoming a versatile conversationalist? How about the information that we see on the internet, from factual blogs to online journalism papers, or the many Wikipedia's dictionaries of the world wide web? Just musing..