littlelaxer

i really just think i am confused. ive wanted this for sooo long. and now i have a bf. yes we have had recent problems and that is not gonna make me break up with him...... i guess really deep down i wonder if the ex is honest. im not going to do anything. i really care about the guy im dating now but it just messes me up that the ex said all this. wouldnt it to you? im just gonna continue with the new bf see what happens with him tryin to not let the ex mess things up. if the ex really wants something he can try and see what happens....right?

My ex and i broke up over a year and a half ago. its been nothing but a crazy mess with since. through out the whole time he never would completely go away. his reasons for breakin up were that he was to young...didnt know what he wanted. so i let him go. i never called him he called me. i told him often to leave me a lone but somehting would come up and we would get in contact. a couple months ago he told me he still loved me but still didnt know what he wanted completely. so i wrote him a note telling him i cared about him very much but i couldnt take it anymore and that he is to leave me alone. he got mad and he did. during this i have had a new bf for about 3 months now. last night was my 21st bday and the first time i have ever drank. i thought it was a good idea to call him. he was out drinkin too. we talked for awhile i rememeber everything. he was like i want to see u i said no. i got off the phone and it was back and forth all night. today i woke up and i had a voicemail from him saying for me to call him back. i called him and he told me he had been on the phoen all morning talkin about me to his friends on what he should do.... as it turns out he says he wants me back. he misses me and he made a mistake he says. and hes leaving the ball in my court to decide what i want. i told him i dont know i have a bf. i said i just dont know. i said its not going to take 1 phone call its gonna take mroe then that. how do i know ur not going to change ur mind in a week or so. he said im gonna keep trying. he called me later this afternoon too tellin me what he was doing. i dont know what to think really. its been such a long time and i do care about him i just dont know

thank you for ur responces. like i said i love him and im scared that he will NEVER come around. i try to move on i do.... i guess deep down im hoping that after awhile if im strong and follow what i say im gonna do that he realizes. i know him and i know what he tells me is the truth on his feelings for me but he just wont grow up and i cant stay around for that. but i dont know whats gonna happen. i know hes probably expecting me to text him and say i didnt mean it or what ever but im not. Would gettin a note like that affect you?? could just be wishful thinking.

My ex and i have been apart for over a year. It was his decision due to the face that he was immature and wanted to be single. Through out the whole break up i do not call him he calls me and he comes to my work to visit me and does the texting. Through out the whole break up i have told him to leave me alone but evenually we talk again and we are fine. But i cant take it anymore we dont get anywhere, In this past sept he told me that he still loves me, cares for me, misses me and thinks of me everydya and knows he regrets breakin up. BUT he just doesnt want a relationship. I tell him im not waiting. A couple weeks ago he calls and asks to borrow my book for a class. i let him. The a weekend after that he invites me over for a party but i dont answer the phone. He calls the next day and asks where i was. I lied and said i was out on a date and he was all like oh?!? and i didnt talk about it. i really was at home workin on school work. This past weekend he and i talk on the phone. He is in atlantic city with friends but talks to me anyways. He says that when i get my book back that he wrote something in it. He wouldnt tell me what it was. Then he asks about my "man" i said things are good and he thinsk he is my bf. I am talkin to a guy but not dating but the ex thinks we are dating This past monday the ex calls and asks for help for a paper. I tell himi i will help him but im gonna need the book so of course i look for it. I take the book home and he textes me the page #. He wrote "my name, i will always love you. p.s. i never ment to hurt u." he textes me sayin for me not to get upset i ask him why did he say that. he said he wanted to tell me for awhile. but for me not to jump to conculsions. i text him and say after this paper i never want to talk or see u again. all u do is play games and im sick of it. Find someother girl u can jerk around cause im done. He calls and gets all upset. He starts cryin sayin how he loves me and misses everyhting about me. How he wants me to marry him ni the future. How he wants to be with me but at the same time he cant cuase hes not ready. I didnt knwo what to say. we ended ok. that night i call him and leave him a vmail saying that i am done. I dont want to talk to him anymore or see him. and i will leave his book at his house in the morning. i wrote a short letter explaining my side. I wanted to leave it nice but at the same time firm on my deciion. I told him that i care about him very much and that he was the best but at the same time worst thing to happen in my life so far. I explain why he was the bst and then i said the worst because u wont let me go i explained how i cant take this anymore. That im done and i have been for awhile. I said that if one day if he knows what he wants then to call me. And maybe if that day ever comes he better hope im still around He text me earlier today saying "fine if thas what u want. i fu*kin quit" i think he said that before he read the letter cuase he doesnt go home till after work. I havent heard from him since. Did i do the right thing??? i love himand care for him but i cant do this anymore. i guess maybe he needs to see life without me and i have to be tough. i just need feedback for my situation if i did the right thing and if my letter seemd good....i hope it affected him....

so i posted this before link removed well today the ex called me....he left a message and i decided to call him later. we talked for a little bit. he told me he drove past my house last thrusday or friday he "cant remmeber" i asked him why and he said to see if i was around. he hasnt been to my house in over a year............who does this?? i live in a neighborhood, not like on a busy road either

lets say ur hanging out with a group of friends, and u start to notice one of ur friends more.....the one guy seems to repeat many of things u say like kinda teasin you u think thats a good sign? and he gives u starrs and all this???

so i havent talked to the ex since this all has occurred.....should i just ignore him now?? i really think its going to be a matter of him loosing me to realize what he had you think?/

I went to the ex's last night. I really don't know what to say about it, and I don't know what kind of responces I am expecting to hear from this site but I really just needed to vent. Im going to try and sum it up as much as I can. I got there and it was not weird in anyway. Pretty much the whole night he kept telling me comments on how good I smelled and that I was pretty and all that. Eventually he would find ways to touch me somehow. He ventured in his room and so did his roommate cause his roommate was tryin to take somehtin of his to wear that night. I was sittin on the bed next to my ex and he layed next to me and started playin with my hair and everything. He even found ways to hug me As I was getting ready to leave we started like play arguing about something. And we bickered back and forth about it for a good while and it was almost like he was stallin. Eventually I was like well im leavin (none of this was like mean fighting just play) and im never comin back ever. He got upset and started going into little boy mode. And he was saying how he was upset that I said that. I said this is why we don't get along we argue to much. Not being serious at all about this. Then he all of a sudden comes out and says "its all my fault" I said what are u talking about he said its all my fault I messed up with us. I said oook totally not expectin that. I said well what are u tryin to accomplish with this conversation? He said I don't know. Im not sure, maybe nothing at all. I said it wasn't toally ur fault I had to grow up too and change and so did u. and he asked how I had to change and I told him. He eventually says he cant stand hearing people say they see me out with other guys. And that everyday hes reminded of how he made a mistake. And that he cant just stop carring about me and loving me. But its not the right time, hes not ready for a long term relationship. He told me he sees me in his future and I said the same. So pretty much I have come to the conculsion that I am in the same spot a before. Its been a YEAR since we have broken up and he tells me all this. How can he say this to me? He said he doenst want me to wait for him and I said I haven't and im not. He told me his worst fear is for me to meet someone else. Its been a YEAR and we are in the same spot. That he needs to grow up and be alone and be with the guys and party. What am I suppose to do? I want to not think about so much but I just cant help not too. Im don't wish we didn't have this conversation because I have been wondering this for a long time………..but what now???? Theres so much more that happened and what was said but im not tryin to make this sooo long. But the whole night was almost like he wanted to be together. I was not expectin all this to be said and I know hes being serious there is no doubt in my mind…..but im left feelin alone again….

so the ex called me earlier tonight but i took my time in callin him back. the conversation went well he asked about my day and what i was doing. then he asked if i was going to come over tomorrow. i said i would he also said he would call me tomorrow i guess to make sure i was commin. so im kind of nervous about going over there. i dont know what to think about all this

I guess right now i should just see what he does from here. i really dont wnat to think that he has the possiblilty of commin back if he really isnt. i suppose i should play hard to get. it just seems so odd to have his friend come in and say that. i just really dont want to be just friends with him if thats what he wants.....

i think it is the best thing right now that u just keep ur distance from him. you cant be friends with the guy u are in love with and they are not having the same feelings at the time. i really think no contact will work best for you. not only will it give u a break from him but it will give u a chance to maybe grow and meet new people. yes it is SOOO hard to do NC but im tellin u after about two weeks of being strict with it, its not that bad and ur every move does not revovle with thoughts of them. it will get better and maybe now he will feel like he is actually loosing u and maybe it will make him start to think. best of luck to u, and just come on here and vent when ever u need to the folks on here are great at helping during rough times!

its about a year now since my ex bf and i have broken up. the thing is that he never fully goes away. he always pops up here and there and thats fine i really dont care to much about the occational stuff but heres what has happened lately. for the past two weeks he has been contactin me just by textes seein how i was doing and such. this past thrusday he called me and we had a good conversation. he asked me to come over and hang out help his friend move in and stuff and that he would take me out to dinner. i was like maybe if u call. he said ok ill call. well then he texted me friday askin me to come to a party at his house. but i lied and said i was already at another party(even though i was in bed alread ) he later calls me that night but i didnt answer. the next day he asked where i was and stuff. sat night i was working and one of his good friends comes in my work. he came in lookin for me cause he told me. we had small talk and he brought up my ex saying "*** said the two of ur conversations are getting longer" andi was like yyyeah i guess so not actin like i care. and he was like he told me about ur converstaion and everything i said yeah maybe we will hang out i dont know. he said thats really good. the thing is that it almost seemed like he came in to bring up my ex and see what i would say. his friend is kind of an older guy that he would always tlak to about stuff, like our relationship when we were together and etc. i have talked to this friend of his many times through out this year of our break up and he has never brought my ex up like this. it is just weird how he said our coversations our gettin longer.....any thoughts?

i say throw it away.....ii mean if she wanted any of that stuff im sure she would of gotten it by now. i recently maybe a few weeks ago threw away all exbf stuff, i even had stuff from past past bfs. I had this crap all stuffed in the back of my closet, and for what? to open them and think back to the happier times, and then be reminded about how they crushed my heart? nah i took pictures ripped them, threw out stuffed animals, i shreded the journal that i wrote in everday after my more recent exbf and i broke up......i really didnt want to read that ever again and im even about to sell some jewerly that i have gotten from exbfs. might as well make some sort of profit. i have to tell u it made me feel better to throw that stuff away.

i agree with the other posters with just seeing if ur stickin around. sometimes i think maybe its cause they still care and maybe still have feelings because i feel if the person broke up with u they are done with you. you only contact someone cause u care or like them. If the ex wanted nothing to do wtih you they would disappear. if u are not contacting them and they are contacting you then i think maybe some feelsing are there still.... maybe they like to check up to see what ur doing, if ur with anyone......i guess basically to see if ur still on the sidelines for whenever they want you.

the thing is if he was just callin to get some I am the last person on the face of the earth to call and try and get that from cause he knows he wouldnt get anything from me. Also i didnt go last night, but today he called me again telling me there is another party and he really wants me to come out and hes never goin to talk to me again if i dont come out and his friend was going to be really upset with me. i was like sorry i have plans. Two days in a row with this party stuff. i think its good that i dont go over cause it looks like im not stuck on him........im movin on. Its just like why does he want me to go so much? you dont ask ur ex gf to hang out that much? most people go to parties to meet new folks and what not why does he want the ex around?

hi, so my ex bf and i have been talkin a little more recently since i opened up communication a couple weeks ago. we broke up at the end of september. I went into NC and i have been doing well. the contact except the frist one i made to him has all been done by him. I dont call him, he calls me or textes me. recently this week he sends me stupid textes like asking me if school was done. i mean what a stupid reason to send a text and i took my time respoding to him. then he sent me one riht back not even a min later. so today he calls me and i dindt answer cause i wanted it to look like i was busy. He leaves me a voicemail tellin me he wants me to go out to this party for his friend who is leaving. Then he textes me a little later to tell me its gonna be a huge party. so i took my time and i called him back. Hes all like you got to come, im gonna be so sad if u dont blah blah blah. He even puts his friend on the phoen to make me to come. i cant go out tonight cause im studying for a big test but i decided to tell him that i already have plans. Cause i would of had a date but i have to study. He was all tryin to be nosey about it and such trying to ask questions but i didnt answer them. i have recently started talking to soeoen new, but its like why this sudden intrest with him. any thoughts?

hey its ok, u had those feelings bottled up and u just released them......i guess we all want to do that at some point but u really did it. I guess like said earlier see what he does.....then go from there. You vented everything and now u just gotta see what happens. you said that NC did good for you, so i would suggest going back into that. so u cant change that you sent the email but u can start to move forward and know that u tried your hardest and now the ball is in his court.

I would say...............when u go food shopping dont buy the bad junk. That there will decrease your risks of eating bad junk. Also with lunch and stuff if you go to school or work you should pack your lunch it is most the time much better then cafateria foods and eating fast foods. In between meals snacks is a large reason people gain weight. Instead of having a bag of chips for a snack eat a fruit. Yeah it sounds silly but those little things can add up to big pounds. Also def! get yourself on some kind of work out schdeual. Dont do it everyday maybe everyother or 5 days and two days off. If u do to much at one time it could burn u out and make you not want to work out anymore. Listening to good music while working out seems to help me. And those days when u want to be lazy you just HAVE to remember your goal that throw urself outside and go running. Like said before grab a friend who has the same goal as urself and work together to push eachother. Sometimes its good when one day you dont feel like being active but ur friend does so it pushes you to get out there and do something.

Hey i just wanted to give you some of my thoughts because i went through a similar thing sorta..... I started talkin to this guy a little bit ago. Maybe right at the beginning of march. We continued to talk until he asked me to be his gf about a month ago today. LIke your situation him and his ex gf were i guess on and off. they would aruge and break up and then i guess get back togheter. From what i heard it wasnt a good relationship at all. When him and i first started talkin he said it was over blah blah but i wasnt sure. Then things were good with us. he seemed really intrested but as time wore on feelings didnt show as much. He wouldnt call when he said he would and he would make up stupid excuses saying he did but i never got the missed call. He would tell me that ALL The time and i got tired of it cause how can that happen all the time. And when we were suppose to hang out i would call him and he wouldnt answer cuase he said he was sleeping or didnt have his phone with him. I talked to him about it once and i said i wish he would show that he was more into me. He said he would show it more but he wasnt used to haveing to do all the work, hes used to the girl doing everything. I was like well u better work or im done. Well it started AGAIN and ill tell you I WAS DONE! i just had to cut it off cause it wasnt cool. I mean i always had these feelings that things with the ex were not over and its not good to always have to worry about that when u are in a relationship or tryin to start one. Well he stopped answering my calls, didnt call me (even though he said he did) and basically disapeard. So i left him a message saying i was done and i was tired of his BS excuses. ANd i said bye. Im assuming something with the ex started again because i dont know why he would disappear. i just wish he would of had the guts to say something instead of being a coward. And i know some day he will think back and kick himself because i didnt do anything wrong but show that i cared for him and he was a dummy. (his roommate agrees as well cause no one likes the ex anyways) So what im trying to say is DONT waste your time with a guy that doesnt put TONS of effort into you. DONT waste your time with a guy that doesnt take time to call you just to say hi or see how ur doing. AND DONT waste your time if ur bothered with thoguhts of his ex being in his life cusae most likely she STILL is and hes a dummy and wont be straight up about it. I just dont want to see you start to really fall for this guy when he doesnt care. Maybe he does. BUt I believe that if someone is REALLY into you, that you should NEVER have to question it at all. sorry its so long...it was just really similar to my recent situation

did u send that to your ex or is that just all of the thoughts in your mind?

hey, i really think ur best bet right now is not to call again. so he called u didnt leave a message, u called him left a nice message now its up to him to call you. You have to make it look like its not a big deal he called. And if u call him again its gonna look like ur sitting wondering why he called (even though u are, which is ok cause we have all done it). But listen if he wants to talk he will call later and i bet u he will. You can not be avaible for him. You have to show him that ur life has moved on after he left for some chick. From what i have read with some people......i bet if u dont call him again and MAYBE answer when he calls again i bet it will start to btoher him. Remember he left ur 4 year realtionship for some other chick!! So really just wait and see what his next move is. But go out and have fun DO NOT i repeat DO NOT seem like u are sitting being all sad for him. ok?!?! i hope that helped some

I need some thoughts please..... Months ago i got out of a relationship that was about a year long. It was a tough break up. But finally i reached the point to where i was ready to date again. So i started going on dates, meeting people. just recently ive met a guy and we clicked pretty well, we were hanging out for awhile little over a month or so and he asked me to be his gf. so i said yes, i was really timid but i felt i was ready so i said yes. Heres the problem.......the two of us are very busy. we are boht in college and i play a sport for the school we go to and he coaches little league back home which is about 40 mins away (so hes always going back and forth), so there is not a lot of free time between the two of us. I understand that we are busy but i feel as though he doesnt put as much effort into everything like i do. He never says "hey are u gonna come and hang out iwth me" when we have free time, he can go like an entire day without callin me.......and that makes me feel like ehe doesnt think of me or doesnt wornder what im up to or even if he misses me or anything. Im not the type of person that needs phone calls all the time but i would like a call if we hadnt talked for about a day or two. I realize maybe hes not a phone person but i just wish he would call to say hi. two mins thats all im askin Also when we say we are going to hang out he some how makes plans with something or someone else and it really makes me feel like hes just not htat into me. I always have to bring it up for us to do something he never does.....and i wish he would so i would feel like hes excited to be with me. Im really not used to this from a guy im used to them being to much, callin to much and wanting to see me. I had this whole discussion with him once and he was good. He told me that hes used to dating girls that call him all of the time, and always doing all the work, and i told him well he better start workin or im done. for awhile with the calling and such......but it started again. I dont know if i should bring it all up again or if i should just end this. I always thought that when ur first starting a relationship ur suppose to be happy and wanting to see that person and not have any doubt if they are into u and what not. But some nights i go to bed feeling really crummy not knowing what hes thinking. so should i talk to him again? would it seem like im nagging? or should i end it?

in my opinion i dont think u are doing no contact either. No contact to me is avoiding them at all costs. Yea so she IMs u online, she might just be being nice. Also i dont think u should email her about ur job. Maybe if she calls u one day u can tell her about ur new job. I think u emailing her is almost just an excuse to contact her. Maybe if u go into the no contact she will call cause she will wonder what is up with u, and then u can say "well things are going great i got a new job...blah blah."

im not a guy but i guess ill give u my thoughts i totally understand what u are saying....its not fair that these girls walk around school in trashy outfits and get all the attention but the girls who dress nice dont get any. Back in high school i didnt dress trashy or anything like that....i dressed the way i wanted to and so should u. 15 is such a strange age because ur starting to grow up u know?!?! and its hard to feel where u fit in, or basically what looks good on you. like i said i dressed like myself and as the years went on i found my own style and plenty of guys to want to date me......and i am most DEF. sure you will as well!!! A guy is going to like you for you...maybe those girls get more attention becuase of what they are wearing but in a couple years ur gonna look back at pic of them outfits and think "ew god what was i thinking???" (or those girls will). So whatever u do Do Not dress like them. I know this is tough to think about ......but worry about you.....you have to feel good about what u wear and how u feel about urself. A guy is gonna like you for you not what you wear.

I have a class with a guy who i find pretty attractive....of course im tooo shy to go up and talk to him. He sits accross the room and it would be very strange if i one day just up and sat next to him. he sits all the way in the front of the room while i sit in the back left of him. Often when i look his way he is looking at me. But im unsure because what if he was looking at me like wondering why i keep looking at him..u know?? For him to look at me he would have to put a lot of effort because its not like he can just look to the side he has to turn around slightly. there is no one around me so its not like he is lookin at anohter gal.... he comes off as a shy guy....cause he really doesnt talk to anyone in the class i want to talk to him but i really dont want to look like a fool. because im afraid the eye catches has just been a coincidence...... Should i approach him or should i give him a smile when he looks my way?? i have the class tomorrow and i want to do something but i just dont want to look like an idiot if he really hasnt been lookin at me are there any guys out there that kinda look a girls way often during a class or whatever??? maybe that will help me out to think maybe he really is lookin at me for a reason