lostlove

relax and listen, but at the same time be attentative towards the conversation. don't just listen– show that you're listening by asking questions on and commenting on what the person you're talking to is talking about. show the person that you are interested in what they are talking about, and be open to them. look for any common interests to talk more in-depth about. and again, relax. remember, no matter how intimidating they may be, they're still human, just like you. nobody's perfect, and if you say something by accident or mess up, it's okay, just get right back up on your feet again and act natural. good luck!

sorry, i guess i jumped to a conclusion...then i think that you should let her see it. good luck!

you can't really be helped when you don't want to be helped. if you're going to get better in the least, then you have decide that yourself. it's up to you. yes, psychiatrists, psycologists, and medication are a big part of it, but the most important thing in getting better is letting yourself getting better and wanting to get better. i guess you don't want to get better yet. sometimes it's a puzzle to me why somebody would not want to try and get over their pain and sadness. but i'm not you, and i don't know what's going through your mind. you might have a good reason not to want help. so if you aren't going to help yourself in such a way for now, then focus on the things that you can do. don't lose your friends. talk and communicate with them. let yourself be happy, and let yourself have fun. talk to your parents about how you feel. maybe you can come to a consensus with them. and maybe you could try to help someone else with problems similar to yours. stop them from doing some of the things you've done. i love helping people because it makes me not the one with the problems. maybe you'll feel the same way. so yeah, i think that that's just about all you can do for now, until you decide you're ready to be helped. hope everything turns out okay. i'll be out of town for a couple days, so if you reply to my pm, i may not reply back until saturday or sunday. good luck, and happy holidays. yeah, i don't know about you, but winter isn't my favorite season...(brr)...but try and make the best of it. good luck

yes...i can relate to it...not the specific references in it, of course, but...yes...i can very much relate. with me it was a guy who i never went out with, but...god i loved him. i still do. and i always will regret not ever grasping the chance to tell him how i really felt. i didn't even know then how i really felt. but yeah...i guess the parts of this poem that i relate to are the parts about regreting lost love. hey, look at my screen name. oh, the irony. not. but yeah, it's good. especially for something not made for a public audience. i say you let him see it. but that's just me.

perhaps you should talk to your parents about it, and once they cool down, ask them for advice on how to talk to your boyfriend. they've probably been through more and seen more than you have, and so they might have some ideas that you hadn't thought of. good luck!

I know a guy who used to cut. I think that it is mostly girls who cut, but perhaps guys are also more afraid to admit to it, for fear that they may be labled or called pathetic. From my experience, I have noticed that guys seem to be more afraid of this than girls are.

it sounds to me like you have already solved this issue by yourself...i think that differences in religions and commitment to religion should not keep you from marrying the woman you love. i do, however, think that you should wait a few more years to get married. i know that my mom got married when she was 21, and regretted it a lot. worry about this in a few more years...perhaps you'll know what you want then as well.

well my mom did it when i was younger, but that actually made me never ever want to do it. then this past year a lot of my friends started cutting, and trying to deal with that just stressed me out so much that i started doing it myself. it's not as if my friends just started cutting, and i thought it was a good idea so i started, it was more like i saw my friends doing it, hated it, but became so stressed out from them doing it that i started doing it myself. it's kinda sad when you become what you used to hate and fear...

when the cuts are new, try putting neosporin on them. i used to cut on my thighs, and i hate wearing shorts, but one day i realized that when i wore my volleyball uniform, the shorts were so short that people would see them. what i did was i used liquid foundation that matched my skin tone, and tried to cover it up. before doing this, it helps to put a lot of lotion on the area with cuts...it makes it so that the foundation will blend with your skin easily, and not show up as much on dry skin and such.

Try not to eat deserts and never drink soda. Eat lots of vegitables and fruit, and make sure you get all of the vitamins and nutrients that you need to stay healthy. Excersize a lot. An easy way to excersize routinely is running every day. I know a guy my age who was extremely heavy last year, and had about 3 chins, but he joined our school crosscountry team over the summer(they start practicing before the school year starts), and this year he's very fit. Once you've lost weight, don't just stop excersizing and eat a lot of unhealthy foods again. Keep on living a healthy lifestyle. good luck!

Yeah, the way i quit was i realized that my best friend was really suffering from this, and that kinda brought me down to earth. then she was really supportive, and told me that whenever i was going to cut i needed to call her, night or day. i never did call, because just that feeling of knowing somebody is there for you helps a lot. then i got rid of my knife. i made sure i talked with my few friends a lot about what was happening, and what i was feeling. i have only cut once in the past two months....i feel a lot better now. i think that my cutting was helping me for the moment being, but later i would get scars and scabs that i was ashamed of, and tried to hide so that nobody would know. In my opinion, talking with friends about stuff is one pretty good way to get through hard times. one thing i do is play my guitar a lot and sing loudly. i listen to loud music when i'm home alone, and dance around. it feels great, and i am always excited and happy afterwards. also, eating chocolate and watching tv can be good, but if you use food to often to make you feel better, you'll get addicted. running is also good, but for running i give you the same precaution as with eating, except for it is better for you than eating excessively. i really, really, really wish you good luck with this! it isn't easy at all, but it is worth it, all the way......

Yeah, I think that you should talk to her about this, because that's really the only sure way to understand what her intentions are. Plus, you need to think about the fact that she has a boyfriend a little more. He'd probably feel really hurt if he found out that his girlfriend was sneaking aroung behing his back, and she'd also be betraying his trust. Maybe you should ask her where she's going with this, and if she wants to be in a relationship with her boyfriend or you. Also, you should probably make it clear that you'll still be her friend either way. Good Luck!

Hey. I'm sorry about your friend. I've been through the same thing before, and my best friend has had the same problem with me. This summer a good friend of mine cut. I freaked out and started threatening to tell his parents. I didn't think before I acted, and I would do anything to go back in time and change my actions. I put way to much pressure on him. I just loved him so much, and I never ever wanted to see him hurt, but in the prosess of trying to help him, I hurt him more. He cut again. Then he started drinking a bit. After a while he started hitting himself against his bed. I miss him so much, and I still love him so dearly. This year I started cutting. Things weren't going great for me, and I couldn't take it. Cutting was basically all I could do to stop myself from commiting suicide, and when I cut, it made me feel warm and relaxed, and nothing seemed to matter anymore...it helped me clear my head. When my best friend found out, she was afraid, like you. What she did was she made it clear that she was there for me. She would leave her cellphone on on nights I was feeling depressed, and she told me that I could call her anytime, night or day, if I was going to cut. She was kind to me, and she showed me that I could trust her. So here's what you can do...be supportive of your friend. Let her know that her secret is safe with you. But also...something that nobody ever seemed to do for me when I was feeling bad...talk to her about how you feel too. Tell her things. Make her feel like you're not only there for her, but she can be there for you as well. Just make sure you don't lay it on too thick, because you don't want to bury her in your problems. Let her know that you and other people as well care for her, and would never want anything to hurt her. Maybe if she doesn't cut for a week or something, go out to ice cream or rent a movie to celebrate. Good luck

I think that you should perhaps talk to your mom about it. I know that talking to her about such a controversial subject will be really difficult. There are still so many places in the world that aren't quite used to people having feelings for the same sex openly. But if you ever want to go out with a guy, then you'll have to tell her. It may be hard for her to face the fact that she will never have a daughter-in-law(unless you have a brother who plans on marrying a girl someday), but trust me, it'll be even harder for her the longer you wait. By not telling her, you're lying to her, and you'll probably feel a lot better once you've come out to her. If ya ever want to talk, I'm here.

i like the simplicity. it's a very nice poem, and very different than most others i read. my one bit of advice to you would be to be a little less literal. when you're too literal, the poem doesn't show enough emotion.

maybe that's how it is for you. i have had a couple true friends before. no, i am no longer friends with them all, but a long lasting friend is not necessarily a true friend. in my opinion, a true friend is somebody who knows you through in through, who's been there for you in the worst of situations, and vice versa. if you stop believing that you could have more than one true friend, then you're probably not going to find any more.

it sounds to me like you miss her, and you think that you may have missed out on your soulmate. get in touch with her. see how she's doing. maybe spending some time talking with her will clear some things up for you. it's completely your decision if she's your soulmate or not. it's not a fact, it's an opinion. your opinion, and her opinion.

i know it's hard to let go of friends. but sometimes it's just what you have to do. you can't pretend forever. it seems to me that you miss your old friends, and you miss being popular. in a way, you envy him as well, because you know that you can't suck up to other people like that. you feel torn between keeping your pride after leaving those other friends, and going back to the life that you loved. of course, all of this may not be true, but that's my guess. he's using you and you know it. of course he is a human being, so let him down softly. don't be too harsh. maybe someday he'll realize how stupid he was in mistreating you like that and appoligize. it'll be hard, trust me, but once you get over at least a week of not talking to him much, it'll be a lot easier. of course you don't have to take my advice, it's your choice completely. just choose what you think would be better for the both of you. maybe he'd be better off without you, maybe not. it's your choice.

i thought of something else to add. maybe you should start trying to make some other friends. when he sees you making other friends, he'll realize that you are no longer depending on him, relying on him as your only friend. make him realize that you could dump him for other friends, so he shouldn't take you for granted.

last year i was in the same situation as you are now. my best friend always seemed to want to be one of the "popular" girls. sometimes i'd overhear her talking to one of the popular girls, and saying something that contradicted what she talked about with me. i always felt like she was two different people. it made me feel like i wasn't good enough. she'd always agree with everything they said, and i hated it so much. i didn't have the guts to talk to her about it, so what i would do is make subtle hints. it didn't work. at all. so finally i started confronting her when i heard her lying to a popular kid. i suppose it worked a bit, but she's still kinda like that. it's just one of those things that i have to let go to keep on being her friend. if this is really messing you up so much, then you should let him know how hard it is for you. tell him how you really feel about it, and how much he's hurting you. he needs to know. good luck.

grr...i spelled beautiful wrong. sorry, i'm a spelling freak...

wow...that was beatiful. truly wonderful. while reading this poem, i was thinking about what i would write responding to it, and one thing i was planning on asking was, do you listen to AFI? of course, by the time i got to the bottom of the post, I had seen you sig. quoting davey havok. this poem reminds me of This Celluloid Dream in Sing the Sorrow. I love that song...so yeah, this poem was extremely enchanting...I look forwards to seeing more of your work on enotalone!

i agree with day_walker. you need to get to know her well in order for her to feel more comforatable around you. talk to her a lot, and don't try to ask her out quite yet. oh, and it's subtle, not suddle.

I think that you should think about his kids first. If they're just in their early teens or younger, then perhaps you should ask him how they feel about your relationship. about two days ago my dad was dropping me off at school(my school doesn't have busses), and he told me that he has a 25 year old daughter. he is 41. it really bothers me, she's only 12 years older than me, and i just don't think it's right. and yes, my parents are divorced(since last year), he's not having an affair or anything. i spent a good half an hour of school sitting on the cement floor of the coat room with my head in my lap just trying to pretend i was invisible. that kinda thing could really hurt his kids if they are young like i earlier mentioned.

or if they disliked you for your suicide story. (sorry, i keep on thinking of things i wanna say)