xcountryprincess

I don't want to engage in any form of sexual activity till i'm completely comfortable with everything just so i can really enjoy it without worrying about how i look. I'm not exactly worried about how i "taste" but more the look. Do you guys really care about what a vagina looks like? Small lips? Big lips? I mean i'm sure everyone looks different down there but guys do you really care??

So if i honestly look at my life right now things are going pretty well. Yes my grades have slipped slightly but i can pull the up. But i ran for ASB Vice president aginst SIX other people and won. I tried out for cheerleading at this all guys school and made the varsity squad. i've even applied for this summer program at USC and got in. I've stepped so far out of my comfort zone to go after these things that i used to feel i wasn't worth, or i wouldn't be good enough, or couldn't make it so why even bother. What i don't understand is why i don't FEEL like i've accompished anything, i don't exactly feel anymore confident, or like i honestly acomplished anything. It's been like that for the past three years with grades, i've always gotten A's but it never felt like it ment anything to me. I'll see the other kids who get straight A's and be like ooh wow, you're smart even though i'm getting the same grades i don't feel i'm anywhere near they're level of intelligence. I don't know it seems like i'm unable to actually tell myself, "wow, good job." I used to think it was just that i wasn't going after spectacular things, but now that i have put myself out there and i've got what i aimed for i don't feel any different. i don't feel accomplished or anymore confident. It's really starting to eat at me, i'm amazingly good at critisizing myself but i literally cannot feel any sense of praise even from others. it just doesn't sink in, just rolls right off my back. I know that i shouldn't base my confidence/self esteem on how i look so i've gone after things that could potentially raise my confidence but it's just not working, i feel like exactly the same person. I want to feel confident, i remember looking at the kids who were on ASB and thinking omg, WOW they're so amazing, or looking at my friends who cheer and seeing how it transformed them into really confident social people (though at first i scoffed at the idea of cheerleading). I just don't get it, it all seems so amazing so accomplished when someone else does it but if i'm able to do it, i don't feel like it's any big deal and i'm at the point where i don't know what to do. Why won't any of these accomplishements sink in? Why don't these pretty major accomplishments raise my confidence/self esteem? What will it take for me to be able to walk down a hall and be like "yeah i get straight A's, and i'm on ASB, and i'm a cheer leader, beat that!"

Ok, so you know how everyone's always like, "it's personality that really makes someone attractive" and you're always like, yeah right, blaah blah (well at least i was). I've realized its true!! But really only in a certain context. There are some people that really aren't that cute, like if you actually look at their face, it's not all that amazingly attractive. But it's the way they carry themselves, they act like there's no doubt in the world that they're attractive, and BAMB, they get plenty of attention for the opposite sex (this is at least true with girls getting guys). For the longest time it would annoy me sooo much that these girls that really weren't that pretty where getting this GOREGOUS guys, i'd be like what the hell!! I'd look at them and think, you're actually kinda chunky, and your face isn't that cute but you act like you're so amazing aren't you self conscious?!?! Either way it didn't matter their outgoing personalities, attracted people. They didn't let thoes extra 10lbs stop them from going after the guys they wanted. You guys it really is all about attitude!!! Also i realised that i used to say "i don't think i could go out with someone unless i was physically attracted to them" i thought that ment that i thought their face and body looked good. BUT, i'm becoming attracted to people that seriously don't have a model status body or face and i find them sooo gorgeous because they have an AMAZING personality. They're confident, and talented, and intelligent and just gorgeous, and they're supposedly "physically" not that attractive. I'm just soooo happy i finally realised this otherwise for the rest of my life i'd probably be going after guys that simply looked amazing and ending up disappointed because they're all shallow or something. There's so much more about a person that can attract you other than they're looks people!! That makes me sooo happy because that means that if i'm able to accept the things about me that aren't amazingly perfect, if i'm able to become more self assured, confident, and work hard at the things i do enjoy someone will find me attractive! Also, i never realized how much of a turn on intelligence is, like don't be a nerd and intelligent, you can just be the average kid whatever but intelligence is a turn on, so to all the guys out there that think acting like an idiot is hot, it's not!!! Just know when to use that intelligence, don't be throwing huge words around all the time to show off. There is an inward intelligence that just creates a presense and is AMAZING! There's so much to being attractive that looking good people! yes look you're best but also have confidence, it's the number one turn on i tell you, at least when it comes to finding guys attractive. Tell me if you agree with all this, is it the same for guys finding girls attractive?????

Lately i've been really paranoid that i'm not going to find a "true love", someone i care about deeply and that feels the same about me. The people i seem to like usually have no interest in me what so ever and i'm starting to wonder if this will always be the case. Yes, i'm only 16 years old, and if i'm rational i know the proababilty of me finding love is high, i know that. But at the same time i can't help thinking "what if i'm one of thoes people who never find love, who never get married? (not that theres something wrong with that, i just want to get married one day), what if i'm never able to share myself romanically with someone else?" I don't sleep around or hook up with random guys because i'm waiting to to that stuff with a boyfriend (which i've never had either). Its just so hard now, all my friends that i used to be able to complain with about not having a boyfriend are all in relationships now. I'm looking at myself and i don't understand whats wrong with me. They're not necesssarily prettier than me, or thinner than me, i'm a caring person, i'm well spoken,, i just don't understand why i can't get a boyfriend. I've made progress, this issue used to REALLY bother me, make me feel so low. Now at least not having a boyfriend doesn't get me as down as i used to, now i just want to know why not me? I know deep down that i'm a genuinely good person, i'm funny, and people are always telling me i'm goregous, i just don't get it and i'm starting to feel embarrassed. All my friends are talking to me about their relationships, their boyfriends, their "new experiences" and all can do is smile and nod. I'm happy for them but i'm feeling left out. I'm starting to think that my "perfect guy" isn't out there. That no one exists with all the qualities i'm looking for. Is there really no such thing as an intelligent, kind hearted, good looking teenage boy that actually likes me?! I'm just ranting now, and i'm feeling rather depressed this issue always seems to come up when i'm feeling down, i just want someone to want me, it sounds pathetic but it's getting so hard seeing everyone around me getting what i want and me being unable to get the same thing.

I haven't ever had a real boyfriend (i'm 16) and it used to really bother me. I'm starting to be ok with being single, but i have thought that could be the issue. I've wanted a romantic relationship for so long that really could be part of the problem. It seems like when i get into what i feel to be a "special relationship" i guess i look to see if it could be romantic. I'm getting better though, now that i don't feel that i NEED a boyfriend i'm not getting as attached to people. I just want to make sure it stays this way and i feel like i can only do that by really understanding why i cling to people that way.

So, i'm beginning to notice a trend in my affection patterns that's really disturbing me. I seem to fall for people that i can't have, such as my teachers or my best friend (both times girls). It's not like a little crush either, it's literally obsession. Lol, now i don't go like crazy stalking my male teachers because i recognize my feelings for what they are, obsession. The issue is really when it comes to a close friend, i don't realize i'm obsessed till it's too late, and i have to pull away so they don't get freaked out. It hurts too, because each time i feel this obsession a whole host of emotions come along including jealousy, anger, and frustration which i can't exactly explain to a friend. I'll almost ruin a great friendship because of my obsession with the person, straining it with odd arguments when they get a boyfriend or i feel another friend of theirs comes before me. Now granted this friendship thing has happen 3 times, it's not as if it's with every friend of mine but it frightens me. What makes me so suseptable to obsession? Why m best friends? Am i making good friends with people that i'm actually really attracted to and use friendship as a way to be close with them? It hurts so much having to let go of the person and the emotions tacked on are draining. In regards to the Teacher issue, it seems there's always been a teacher i've been head over heels for, and i simply crave his attention. It really doesn't help that it's normally the flirty good looking male teacher (i go to an all girls school) because he's flirting slightly with all the girls and it annoys me if i don't feel like i've gotten his attention at all that day. Lol, i know this is wrong, they're teachers, grown men and i'd never even try and pursue anything with them it's just a crush, but they're such intense crushes and i get jealous so easily. So i guess my question is how do i stop this obsessive behavior, how do i stop craving attention from these particuar people? And why do i end up having crushes/obsessions with my best friends (girls!)? (yeah i know i'm probably bi, but i just don't get why it's always the best friend) It just makes things so akward and i can never explain my jealousy/anger to them (because i'm not exactly going to tell my friend i'm obsessed with her) so they think i'm just acting like an ***hole.

So, i have this teacher at school that i just have a ridiclously enormous crush on and it's really starting to almost get annoying. He's just sooo cool, he's slightly arrogant, amazingly sexy, and what annoys the crap out of me is that he flirts with us all! He's just a natural flirt you can tell he was when he was younger as well... Now i know i'm 16 and i have crazy hormones rushing through my body, but it really doesn't help that he's so flirtatious and just AMAZINGLY sexy...oh my, lol. I'm just wondering if there's anyway to at least not feel as crazy about him as i do, this has been going on for about 6-7 months now and i honestly don't see it subsiding. He's just so annoying with his prolonged glances or our private jokes i honestly just want to jump on him!! He has a way of really making you feel special. Now i know nothing can happen of course, he's married and a teacher and of course nothing will happen but how do i try and get over him when he flirts like crazy, there are just moments of eye contact where it's like oh god take me now, lol, i'm going to stop now, lol but is there anyway of making this cool off?

I feel that too, and i think i'm absolutly crazy at times. Like this strange pull toward i don't know what, but that there's something in this world that i'm supposed to accomplish, change, or impact in some way. It gets really frustrating because i don't know what it is, or how i'm supposed to find out or if i'm actually just insane, lol. I'm 15 and i felt this for about 5 years now, at first i wasn't sure, but now i'm pretty sure theres something out there i'm supposed to do thats calling me. i dont' know if you're religious but i've decided to believe it's God calling me toward something and when the time's right i'll know what it is, but for now, he just wants me to be aware that theres something i have to be ready for. I don't know if that helped or if thats what you're feeling, but if it is, then just know you aren't the only one

I'm starting to notice that the people that have the most friends, love prospects and generally seem happy with themselves are thoes that are able to just let loose and be who they really are inside. For so long i've changed my behavior, and i guess basically who i am to suit a certain environment. Around authority figures i become this incredibly polite "goody goody" as i want to make a good impression but the truth is by doing so i'm stiffling my spontiaety and wacky self that when people eventually see seem to love. I don't know how to turn off this autopilot of blandness, i don't feel like i'm memorable when it comes to a first impression (as in wow, i'd love to get to know her more she seems so interesting) as i'm acting formal how i'm "supposed to act" and not letting my personality shine through. How do i go about doing this? I know i still need to be polite and at times you need a more serious attitude, but i want to make sure that who i am comes out as well. I'm just starting to see that i am an intereting and worthwhile person and i just want others to see that too. Also as dumb as this may seem (as i'm only 15) i feel as if i'm never going to really find someone thats going to care about me and love me, want to honestly be with me and appreciate me for who i am. All of my friends are in some kind of relationship right now (if not all then definitely the majority of my close friends) and it's just really hard seeing them all get excited about their weekend with their boyfriend. I sit and listen and i'm happy for them but i just can't help but think when if ever is it going to be my turn. I know it doesn't help that i'm mostly around people that are older than me, i skipped a grade and so though i'm 15 i'm in 11th grade so my friends are 16 and 17. I don't know i'm just not understanding why it can't be me, why i always have to sit back and be happy for them while i don't have anyone. I guess this part was more of a rant, lol, but any advice or comments would be really helpful.

Everything in my life seems so messed up right now i don't even know where to turn for any stablitly. By best friend and another girl we're close with, decided to start dating and i'm really starting to feel like i'm losing her. Everything is still the same it's just that i feel like she wants to be with her more, wants to share things with her that she used to share with me. I hate that we were all cool, one was my best friend and now i'm kinda pushed aside lost my status and now they're girlfriend and girlfriend. We always bonded over how we didn't have anyone and how it was ok, and now it's like she's gone and found someone and i'm left her by myself like oh ok, i guess i'll just figure myself out, be the third wheel when i'm with you guys. (I'm venting right now so please excuse any rudeness) I know i'm just being jealous and i should be happy for her that she's found someone but it's like what about me. Everyone around me and i mean everyone is with someone, or has some kind of crush or love interest. Her and i were our own little island and now she's just gone and left. I need to get over this because i'm starting to act really catty to the other girl and even my "best friend" it's just so hard. Eveytime i see them together i want to pull my hair out, i try and dodge them whenever i see them together. I can't deal with this and i need to know how to get over it cos it's really eating me up inside. Ugh, i don't know, it's just hard.

I've always had a rough time with my body image and have been dieting on and off for as long as i can remember. It's gotten to the point now where i don't really mind what i see in the mirror, i don't think i look to much like the "fat girl" but my mind is still telling me something different. If i'm with a group of friends or even by myself i won't go and strike up conversation or talk to a guy i like because in my head i'm telling myself "you're so fat, why would he want to date a fat girl, your friends are so much thinner than you why would he even bother." I know i'm not that big, i weigh myself everyday and when i look in the mirror i don't see a huge person. I see parts that could be thinner and that i want to be thinner but not an overweight person. I just can't get out of my head that i'm fat. I've put myself down and told myself that no one would ever want me till i'm thin for so long i can't change the way i think. How do i stop thinking these things about myself? I'm starting to think that even if i lose weight i'm still going to think i'm the fat girl as thats what i've been telling myself for so long. I know you don't have to be cindy crawford to get a guy but i honestly believe that i won't get a guy unless i have an awesome body. How do i change this perception and how do i become more comfortable with what i see in the mirror and believe someone will want to date me (that i like) when people around me just look so much better than i do?

Basically i have a great friend that i've started to really share things with. The problem is she's interesting in this girl and they're probably going to end up dating. Now it's not that i like my friend (i don't think) i just can't stand seeing them together. It annoys the crap out of me to see them all over eachother now and i can only imagine it getting worse once they get together. I don't think it's that i like my friend i feel it's that i'm jealous this girl will be able to have a part of her i'm not. I don't want her to tell her things she won't tell me. Even now it gets on my nerves to know i'll get offline and she'll still be talking to her on aim. Or that they'll stay on the phone for hours on end. I know i'm being stupid and jealous i just need to figure out how to get over it. I can't really say anything to my friend because it's not like she's really doing anything wrong. I just want to get over this as it's starting to make be bitter which is showing when i talk to them/ they're together.

For as long as i can remember i've been unhappy with the person i am. I always compare myself to others and all i see are the ways i don't measure up. I've always told myself that i'm "stupid, fat, and ugly" and i just can't get thoes words out of my head. I'm not huge (weightwise) but i just see people around me with gorgeous bodies and i don't understand how i can think i actually look ok. I don't know why any guy would want to date me the way i am. I'm a pretty good student but i just see the people that i feel are so much smarter than me and i feel like an idiot. I have days where it's like "ok yeah this is you, you don't look that bad" but then i just get around other people and i think in my head that i'm the fat, ugly friend. All my friends say i look great but i just feel huge. Though i look in the mirror and see a decent sized person when i'm in social settings with people i don't know (particularly guys) i think i'm the fat, ugly one, so i don't really put myself out there. To me they're thinking "why is this chick talking to me when her much thinner and prettier friend is obviously the one i'm gonna go for" How do i change this mentality? I've told myself i'm a certain way for so long that i can't change what i think.

I'm starting to realise that i'll never truly be happy if i don't accept myself and love me for me. I'm having a hard enough time trying to find who i really am and i just don't like me. Everywhere i turn there's someone prettier, or thinner or hotter or sexier and it's really bringing me down. I know there's always going to be people that are better than me, thats just how life is. But how do i learn to love me? I tend to get really shy around guys because i'm thinking "why would they want me when they could have her." This means i don't go after what i want. I'm so afraid of taking risks and looking like an idiot that i feel i'm missing out. I know i'm missing out. I see all my friends dating and getting excited about guys liking them and wanting to be with them and it just gets so depressing. It's like, what's wrong with me? I know i should just give it time but i'm a junior in high school, how much time is enough?

Ok so i've decided to actually take the initiative in my love life and not simply sit on the side lines and wait for prince charming to come to me, im going after him. After watching a good friend of mine, who is decent looking approach a bloody greek god of a guy and get a date i decided i gotta step on it! Lol, anyways so my question is, do guys really think that if a girl approaches them they are desperat, would they think less of that girl, or not like the fact that they aren't the agressor. I definitely wouldn't come on too strong seeing as im normally pretty shy around guys but i just would like to know from a guys perspective the best way to approach him. Thanks for any advice in advance! "How 'bout you mix your milk with my coco puffs, milky, milky coco puffts" "Axe shower gel - How dirty boys get clean"

My friends and i were talking (3 of us black and the other 4 were white) and the topic of interracial dating came up in our conversation. We all said that we had no problem dating outside of our race, however one of my friends came up with a very valid point. When we all go out together it seems like my white friends are approached by many different nationalities of guys where as by black friends (me incuded) are normally (i say normally because this isnt ALWAYS the case) only approached by black guys. So i guess my question to all of you (particularly the guys) is are you afraid to approach african american females because you feel they won't respond positively or are you simply not really attracted to girls off different nationalities?

I was reading a post on some random board and this guy mentioned that he didn't often approach females that he found very attractive, because he thought that: a) They were already spoken for or b) They were way out of his leauge and would reject him Because of this he often approached the "so so" looking girl and spent time developing a relationship with her. I've noticed many gorgeous guys that could damn near snag a supermodel, with i guess an "average" looking girl. These girls aren't ugly or anything but i mean the guy could probably do a lot better. Maybe it's because some guys seem so rambunctios and confident as they walk down the street, but most guys look like they would tackle a crocodile with complete confidence, i honestly couldn't imagine a seemingly confident guy not approaching an attractive female, maybe its just me, lol. So is this true, guys if you see a gorgeous woman, do you really approach her or do you go for her not so good looking (but decent) friend, out of a fear of rejection. Peace

I so would but the guys that i like, and thereforeeee am incredibly shy around, act SO confident.They look like they think they could get any girl in the room . So if they dont come up to me i dont see it as them being shy, i think that they just arent interested. Do guys just act confident around their friends or what?

Just be true to how you feel at that moment. If your not feeling amazingly perky don't force yourself to act as if you are. Fake smiles, laughs and attitudes are not attractive, but then again neither is being pessimistic. To be honest, i would wanna date a guy who want afraid to show his true feelings. However while showing your feelings you dont want to inflict your pesimisstic views on others. Just be you and allow yourself to feel how you feel, at that moment in time

SUBMISSIVE!!!! Excuse me Metallic guy but girls are NOT supposed to be submissive to men! I hope you simply chose the wrong word to state your opinion with because in today's society women are in no way shape or form below to men. Maybe I'm going off on a little feminist tangent, which i hightly doubt, but come on submissive! JEEZ And what on earth do you thing a fascist looks like, could you be anymore stereotypical!

I'm about 5'6-5'7 and i have to say i love taller guys. I dont think i would really want to date a guy that was shorter than me. If i just met him somewhere i dont think i would persue anything. I mean i might think "oh he's cute" but then the "he's too short" comment would override any interest i had in him before. That is unless i got to know him and he was really and awsome guy of course

I'm a really out going person but i get SO shy when im around guys ESPECIALLY when i like them. It sucks cos i dont get approached alot cos i dont really smile or send the right signals but im starting to realise that guys wont always approach me so i gotta start going at it. but to get or my tangent, i do get really shy around guys i like, i dont really even look at them!,lol

Ok, so i went to a party last night and i was dancing with this guy. When we were dancing he started feeling on my stomach, not like under my shirt or anything but like feeling/holding. This made me kinda self conscious but i wasnt incredibly uncomfortable just kinda surprised so i just kept dancing. Is it just me or is that not kind or weird, i mean i guess we were dancing but still, I've never really experienced anything quite like that, was it just his "special" quirk?

but the thing is metallicguy, when i think of fit i generally think of celebrity status. Ok you said with one irrecularity but the majority of girls arent like that, so why is that considered average?