xcountryprincess

Survictor and Scout you make great points. He really doesn't seem like that awful of a guy though, i've been around him for over a year or so, so i've seen him interact with people. He used to be a into promiscious girls (he admits himself) as i've mentioned before however now is repulsed by the idea of being with a girl that sleeps around. I'm in no way standing up for him or his dating mantra i just didn't want to portray him as this terrible guy. True, it's recently that we've actively been "flirting" so i haven't seen this hot and cold side of him before. I know he's had girlfriends before so obviously he can be with someone once he knows they like him. However, i don't know if these were some of the more promiscious girls he's mentioned. Either way, i'm pretty sure he can be a good friend, he's great with my best girl-friend that i mentioned, i've just never been able to really get to the point where i could call him up and have a conversation on the phone with him. Right now he's more of an aquaintance i guess you'd say. I'll see where things go. Normally when there's a guy i'm semi-attracted to and i get a vibe he's slightly interested i feel like broadcasting it to the world (it never works out with them, i'm not lucky with guys). With this guy i didn't, so i thought something may be different. I can't actually go to the event anymore so if i don't see him soon i'll have to call him and let him know he's "off the hook." (Though we've never talked on the phone i have his number, he doesn't have mine though) We'll see where things go with him. I'll be myself (as i wasn't quite my quirky, fun self when i asked him to the formal event as i was pretty nervous) an be careful. Thanks for all your advice!

Thanks everyone, he seems like a really nice guy but all this on again off again crap really made me wonder what was going on with him. What you've said has made sense, i won't waste my time with him if anything he'll be a friend, but i'll make sure not to fall into his stupid gaming trap. Thanks again.

So there's this guy that i'm around sometimes because he's a good friend of one of my best friends. We all hang out together sometimes and i usually playfully flirt with him. At least i think it's flirting, and i think he flirts back. We do a lot of that playful being mean thing. Anyways i'm usually just myself around him as i didn't really used to think of him as a potential date. We're all talking about dating and stuff, i mention that the guys i like don't really like me, and the guys that like me i'm not really ever into. He says, once he finds out that a girl likes him he normally loses interest in her. What exactly does this say about a guy? He likes the chase more than anything else? He has had girlfriends before which i guess means that this isn't always true. Anyway, i asked him to this formal event that i have going on and he said yeah he'd come, there wasn't any hesitation he said "yeah!" like immediately. Before i asked he was really flirtatious. But then after he wasn't so much he didn't really talk to me much at all in the group (there were 4 of us). The next day i also saw him we were with a big group of people and he barely talked to me. What's with him? Does he now think i like him so he's not into the flirting anymore. I can't figure out if when we are doing what i think is flirting (there is solid eye contact during these moments of playful fighting) he is actually flirting with me, or just being friendly. Also he could just be flirting for flirting's sake, not necessarily because he likes me. Either way, do you think he does like me thats why he went kind of cold when i guess i showed interest? What does his little philosophy about losing interest once he knows a girl likes him say about him? (i'd especially like guys input on that question) Is he worth going after as i'm pretty sure i'd have to lure him with games which i don't think are necessary if he's really into me. p.s. He's been able to get lots of girls in the past as in hook ups, he's not into that anymore though. So i mean i'm pretty sure he knows what he's doing, he knows how to "work it" with girls.

Yeah, thanks for the advice, and that was no lecture LostInMyThoughts it was great advice I know i need to be in a safe environment and around people i trust if i'm going to drink. This was a small gathering, at my friends house, only 5 of us, and i knew everyone there. Plus 2 of them didn't drink so there was someone sober in the house. I don't drive yet which is good in this case i guess. I've never understood why people would want to drink or how it would help people who were "lost in thier sorrows." But after trying it i get how that works. Either way, i'll be sure never to drink when i'm depressed as i'm sure thats a recipe for disaster...

I just had a couple questions about drinking and realised i could glean from your wealth of knowledge, lol. Alright, so i've always been a very clean cut, straight laced girl though a lot of my friends (like most teens), drink, do drugs, or have sex. I've always never done these things because my parents are obviously against there teenage daughter engaging in these activities. I'm a senior in High school now, and it occurred to me that though i've never done these things i've never asked myself why? why don't I personally want to do this? Irealised it's always been "you don't do this because you're not 'supposed' to" not that i had any honest issues with drinking. Now i'm not talking about drinking till you're legless, i think thats ridiculously idiotic, especially for a teenage girl. And personally i've decided the whole drug thing isn't for me, it's unnecessary risk that i don't need to take. However, i decided that i don't really have an issue with drinking, and so tried it as a friends house this weekend. Now i'm from europe but living in the States so my parents don't have an issue with me having say a bit of wine with them randomly if i ask. (they hardly ever drink, so it's like once in a blue moon). Anyways, this time i had more "hard liquor" i guess you would call it. I had about 4 shots, didn't wanna go crazy with it, but i did get quite a buzz. I felt lose, more care free, it was a great feeling. My question is, how do i know the difference between just feeling buzzed and being drunk? Also, is it natural to want another shot after you've had one? I took the first one and it was harsh on my throat, but after getting over that i felt a little like buzz and felt like i wanted another? Is that bad? ust a couple of questions, hope you can help... Anyways, i woke up and i thought i was fine but as i started walking around and stuff i realised i had a bit of a headache, nothing intense, just annoying, i was still feeling a little lose (i had the shots at like 1am-2am went to bed a little after and woke up at 7am), was i still buzzed?

I'm not at all trying to bash on guys, i love guys. I've never had a boyfriend and that used to really upset me bring me to tears, it still does at times, and i'm just saying i'm not going to let that happen anymore, i'm not going to try and change who i am so a guy will like me. I'm trying to teach myself i'm worth more that that, an i'm beautiful as i am.

I'm so over this! (this will basically be a rant i'd love some encouragement or helpful input from anyone) Constantly worrying if this guy likes me, and then hearing that some random guy likes me and worrying if he's going to stop liking me or has stoped liking me. I'd done with it!! I'm done with feeling sorry for myself in regards to the fact that all my friends are in serious sexual relationships right now, i don't care!! Thats them not me, i don't neeeeed someone in my life to be a complete individual. I'm gorgeous, talented, well spoken, unique, i'm hard working, and most importantly i don't need a guy to validate me, i'm enough without someone else. I don't need someone else to love me in that way for me to feel special or beautiful. I am beautiful! Both inside and out, and i'm going to embrace that. I'm going to meditate on how much i've accomplished as an individual, my strenghs, my beauty. It's about time i did. Pepping everyone else up is all fine and dandy, but i need to take the time to strenghen myself also. So enotaloners, i'm pledging this to myself with you all as my witnesses. I'm going to take the time to relish how amazing i am, WITHOUT a guy!!! I won't back track this time, i won't fall back into my self-pity every time i see my friends and their boyfriends or see someone i like but can't have. I'M OVER THAT!!! I am me, i'm fine how i am, i'm beautiful as i am, i'm perfect as i am. I don't need to change to suit someone else. I am me!

So, i've pretty much learnt how to not focus on the fact that i don't have anyone in my life romantically now. However when i really get comfortable with myself, or with the fact that i don't have someone romatically in my life some guy comes along. I went out with a group of friends and actually started talking/joking around with a guy i'd been introduced to a while back but never talked to. Either way, as the night progressed he got very flirty and touchy. Now i don't know if he's actually interested or just messing around having a good time. Either way it was really cute, we were sitting next to eachother and he kept grabbing my knee, touching my arm, looking at me, and playing a little footsies. Now like i said, he could have just been messing around, having random fun. Anyways, so whenever something with a guy like this happens, i really click with him romantically and i can't get him out of my head. Iimagine myself dating him, going to prom with him all kinds of stuff. Also i tell all my friends about it which i'm def not going too this time as i just want to see how things progress. Either way, when stuff like this happens i just can't get the guy out of my head, anytime someone shows me some kind of attention thats flirty i'm just constatly thinking about them and what it could develop into. I feel like i always jinx stuff when i do this as these moments hardly ever develop into anything. Why do i do this, constantly think about the person and where we could end up? How come i just can't let go and see how things go? Do you think by creating all these senarios in my head i am killing prospects for a relationship?

I was having a discussion with my friend and i noticed that most people we know aren't actually in relationships with drop dead gorgeous people. We crush on them, or discuss how hot certain people are but when it comes to relationships my friends honestly aren't with the best looking people on earth. In fact they don't look that good at all. My friend firmly believes that people don't pursue thoes they think are drop dead gorgeous as they don't think they'll have a chance, thats why my friends aren't going after and dating the people that are amazingly hott. Do you agree, do you not persue someone if you think they're hott, but if you think they're approachable?

Ahhhh, wonderful idea... 1) I'm proud of myself for running for Student gov , trying out for a squad and making both in the same week! 2)I'm also incredibly proud of the fact that i've successfully pushed myself out of my comfort zone, to expand and grow as an individual. 3) I'm proud of the curvatious body i have, that i've worked hard to keep toned. 4) I'm amazingly proud to be an articulate British female! 5) I'm proud of my public speaking skills, even when i'm nervous as all hell i can still pull off a great speech.

Lol, Ilse don't feel old, sounds like you didn't regret your decision which is good. I kinda feel the same way, maybe not that i'm too young but just not completely ready. I just don't get how my friends who have seemed a little "behind" me, are so completely ready. They've found boyfriends and are going for it, it's just a shock, a year ago we were all talking about how we could never imagine ourselves doing that, and being self consious and not thats all changed. Granted i'm not as self consious as i used to be, but i'm still not quite there yet.

I've heard a lot of people on this forum say they wish they'd waited longer for their first full on sexual experience. But people don't often say why. I've never really felt peer pressure but a lot of my friends are losing their virgininty (i'm 16, most of them are 17) or engaging in oral sex. I've never really been able to picture myself or my friends doing it. Now they are it's like Whoa, and i'm trying to imagine myself doing that. I guess i'm feeling kind of left behind. I skipped a grade and though technically my friends are all a year or so older than me i've never felt younger or slower in development. I'm the one people always turn to for advice, and people are always shocked when i tell them i'm only 16. I don't have a boyfriend which is tough as most of my close friends do, but i know i don't want to have sex until i'm with someone i'm completely comfortable with and trust. Now that i've rambled, lol, i guess my question is why do so many people wish they'd waited? Didn't they think they really cared about the person at the time? Did they later realize it wasn't love or what? Are my friends who seem to be loving their new sexualy active lives going to feel the same way a few years from now?

This morning he sent me another series of texts I have a question for you Did you have any fun saturday night The truth would be nice I texted him asking if i could call and talk to him but he said no (he's at work) and i should just text him what i want to say. So i texted back... I had a good time, but i've been thinking about it and seriously in not looking for anything more than friends with anyone, Schools gonna start and ASB and Cheer really aren't going to leave with much time senior year. I had an awesome time i just realised i don't want that right now. He hasn't replied, i feel bad for saying it in a text but he told me to (cowardly, i know). Oh well, at least i've learnt something about dating from all this. I just don't get how he knew i didn't have that AMAZING of a time, i acted fun and bubbly like my normal self? This dating thing is ridiculous, lol!

It was also his appearance i must admit. I didn't really get a gooood look at him during the program and i honestly didn't think he'd contact me (everyone was giving out contact info on the last day). I don't know he also seemed a little tooo smittened by me. When i looked at him he was doing that like gazing into my eyes thing. He was just too keen. On the phone and stuff he's had a playful more sarcastic personality, i felt he was trying to hard to impress me, and it just killed it for me. (i know i sound crazy, lol)

So i went on my "first" first date with this guy i met at a summer program. He got my email adress, emailed me, and we've been talking and texting on the phone for the last two weeks. I thought i really liked him, he had an awesome personality on the phone ( i honestly didn't pay any attention to him during the program) and i was really starting to fall for him. We planned to go out this weekend and in all honesty interacting with him in person kind of killed it for me. First of he was 45 mins late, (yes 45 mins granted he'd never been to our location before and i think got lost but i gave him the adress so he could map quest it if need be). I brushed it off because i didn't want to make the rest of the night awkward. Either way, in person he wasn't as chatty (maybe he was nervous i don't know) so i was pretty much keeping the conversation going. I don't know it just didn't work for me in person and now i feel really bad because i've been acting like i was really keen on him (because i was) and now all of a sudden i feel differently. He sent me 2 texts this morning, normally i'll reply about 10 mins after he's sent. Today i just didn't reply, he then sent a text saying -You must have had a bad time last night not to have returned my text at all I felt awful! I just lied and said i didn't get them, then instead of texting him for an hour or so (like we normallly do) texted for about 20 mins and said i was tired and was going to bed. He's a really nice guy and i feel awful for changing my mind like this, i just didn't feel anything when i saw him, in fact i was kind of pushed in the opposite direction How do i let him know i don't want to persue anything romantic anymore? (Lets keep in mind there's a high probability i'll be seeing him next summer at this program and would love to keep things nice and civil ) Thanks in advance

Arghhhhh! Ok he asked me out for this weekend, i'm really nervous about it seeing as it's my first single first date. I've always gotton to know guys through group settings. Either way i'm excited! Thanks for the advice, i think i'll just go with the flow, see what happens.

That does sound like amazing advice, i'm just worried i've kind of killed my chances, he seems like an awesome guy. Say he asks me what i'm doing for the day, do i stay vauge, something like " plans with friends", "not too sure yet" I know i had his intrest originally, if i'm pretty much unavailable from now on, will i probably keep it.

I met a guy a about two weeks ago and we've been talking since this past thursday. First it was email, then it progressed to AIM, i've talked to him on the phone once and for the last two days we've been texting. We normally (well for the last 5 days we've been talking) talk every night (we can't talk during the day because he works then goes to football practice). Last night we didn't so i texted him this morning (which he did to me yesterday) but he sounded kind of bored, his responses were a little blunter than usual. I have a feeling we've been talking a lot (everyday), and i know that he likes me, he's said so in so many words, i just feel like we've been talking to often. Am i correct in thinking this? I don't want him to think i'm losing intrest (then again maybe i do, lol). I'm thinking i won't contact him again till he calls or messages me. But what after that, talk every other day, every three days. I think we got so carried away wanting to get to know eachother that we talked incredibly frequently. We've had conversations about our parents and how our fathers left , conversations that are normally left i would think for when you're actually in a relationship. I'm just confused as to what to do in the situation.

I have a feeling my "first date" with a guy i'm talking to will be taking place soon. My question is should you kiss on the first date? If you do is it a small peck on the cheek, or on the lips, or do you just let what happens happen??

For so long i've felt like i've needed a boyfriend to feel, i don't know, special. I've just started to feel amazing without a guy. Like i don't need a guy feel good, i'm having fun. Well now that i don't want a guy, here's one knocking on my door!! I met him at this program i went to for a week but i only talked to him once. To be honest i didn't even really notice him, when i talked to him he intrigued me but i just kind of forgot about him. Everyone was exchanging emails and he asked me for mine and i got his. To be honest, i completely forgot about him until i got an email from him asking how i was. This was thursday, friday we started talking on AIM, saturday night i talked to him from 12am to 5am in the morning, and last night we talked online again and texted for a while. I know he likes me, he says things like "i want to see your smile again" all that lovey dovey stuff. And i like him too. The thing is i'm worried things are going to fast, we're talking everyday for at least 2 hours. Last night when we got offline after an hour of talking i was like "crap i really want to keep on talking to him." It kind of freaked me out. Then he texed me saying he wanted to keep talking to me, so we texed eachother for another hour. I'm worried i'm feeling attached after all of 4 days. I don't know i just haven't really had this happen before. The other issue is he's giving me all these complements online, or we're having fun on the phone, but i'm just worried that when i see him in person it's going to be weird. Awkward because we've said all this stuff to each other but then when we're face to face, it might be kind of strange because of it. Uggh, i don't know what to do, should i stop talking to him as often? Am i doing everything right? Another thing is i don't normally talk to my mother about guys, we just don't really discuss the topic though if i wanted to i know she'd listen, it would just be awkward. With this i almost feel like i should tell her, i feel like i'm lying, i don't know why. I'm not used to talking to guys romantically, this guy is really my first i just don't know what's too much, or what i shouldn't do, or if i should tell my mother or what. Also, in the past, if guys have called me or talked to me, i've wanted to tell ALL my friends, i wanted to let everyone know that a guy was interested and talking to me. With Christian (this guy) i don't really want to tell everyone, maybe my closest friends, (but i've only told 2, and they aren't even friends i see regualarly, just ones i know i can talk too). Why is this? I don't know, this is all so new to me, maybe thats why i'm feeling kind of anxious, i like Christian though, he's constantly making me laugh, he's so intelligent, and athletic, he's everything i could ask for in a guy. The only issue is he lives pretty far away from me (on the other side of town) and in a pretty bad area i know my mother proabaly wouldn't be too happy about. Neither of us drive so getting together would be kind of difficult, if anything we could make it work though. Am i jumping the gun? Overthinging things? Ugh i don't know why i'm nervous about all this?

Ok, so i've had a lot of male adults in my life (teachers, mentors, family friends) comment that if a guy reallly likes a girl he'll make a move. That girls shouldn't be throwing themselves at guys (like in all honestly most teenage girls do) because guys then don't have to do any of the work. I know this is true to some extent. I see many girls at my school throwing themselves at guys, meeting guys in certain places. They there by make the girls that don't blatantly try and grab a guys attention with the use of skimpy clothes or acting dumb look prudish or self rightious. My question is, if you are a girl that doesn't throw themselves at guys (such as myself) doesn't that make it harder for you to get the guy when there are so many girls out there that are willing to do all the work for guys. I'm not talking about flirting with guys or asking him out if you like him, i'm talking about girls congragating around a guys dormitry or just being easy (lol, i know you know what i mean). If guys see there are girls that they don't have to work hard to be with doesn't that mean that they won't work to get the girls that aren't throwing themselves at them. It's the old, "if you can get it for free why work for it" This troubles me, i know that the guys that i truly want are the ones that honestly like me for who i am and so will try and get to know me. But are the girls that aren't throwing themselves out there missing out on a lot of good catches because the seemingly more desperate or slu**ish girls are catering to the physical and egotistical desires of these guys.

Yeah, at the beginning of this year i did realize that i hadn't been developing my social life much. Yes i have great friends but a lot of my activities have to do with school. So i went out for cheerleading at a guys school as a lot of my other friends really had fun doing it. At first i was like "me, cheer, um, excuse me i don't do that" but after a while i realized i was afraid of what people would think about me doing something "out of my norm" it wasn't that i wouldn't like to do the activity. So i went out for it, made the squad and you're right i do feel good when i'm around the rest of the girls. I don't know, i guess thinking about it, i've thought for so long that school is really where you accomplish things which help you feel great. But by really analyzing things i notice the times i'm the happiest are when i'm with people actually DOING things i love, not just getting the good grades or being recommended from another class. I think i've been looking for fullfillment in thoes things and though it does make some people happy i guess it's just not what makes me happy. I just hope i will find some pride in the accomplishments i've made at school one day, even if it takes time like some of you have said it might.

I finally made it through high school, i'm going to be a Senior this fall, i've worked really hard all through frosh, soph, and junior years and recived great grades... I know i've accomplished so much and yet i'm not happy. I literally can't feel my accomplishments, i don't feel amazing or proud of them. It's like "oh yeah i won asb vice pres" i can say it but i don't feel like it. i feel like all i do is work and yes i reach my goal but it's almost like my goal doesn't mean anything. Why can't i feel good about my accomplishments, why aren't i proud. I look at the people who get good grades or are in a ton of aps and really their transcript looks just like mine but i look at them like WOW, they're so smart and talented and yet i don't feel the same. Why is this?? And what can i do to change it?

Hey, don't be too intimidated by the classes, yes they will be very hard but if you've been recommended you'll be fine. Even if you haven't been recommended and you're taking them because you want to i know that also really pushes people too do well because it's a class they're actually willing to fight through. This year (my junior) i took AP Chem and AP US History. I had great teachers but honestly the most important thing is to manage your time. The first time you take AP's it is a little frightning but you and your class really bond (at least mine did) as you all know what you're going through. I remember taking AP Europeoan history my sophmore year, we all really banded together and helped on another out. There will be more than enough people that'll be willing to help you out so don't worry. I'll be sticking in there with you, senior year i'm taking AP Literature, AP Gov, and AP Stats. Just make sure you DON'T prograstinate and just take things one at a time, they really aren't all that bad. Good luck!

Haha, thanks for the props miracle29. I know it's the person that counts, i mean i wouldn't be having sex with anyone unless i really felt connected to them as a person, i was just wondering if what i felt was a valid insecurity.