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Thread: He keeps making vague comments about meeting up but no actual plans

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by skittles88
    I guess I assumed there was some interest ( friendship or romantic) because he was the one who said the first comment about getting together. And then just other things he said..he texted me on a Monday to see what I was up to and when I said I was watching the Bachelor, he replied that he doesnít like those shows but would watch them with me. I mentioned that I needed to go shopping for fall decor and he said he did too and we should go together. He also sends me selfies, him at the gym and one at work and another at the beach.
    That's weird. Sorry. There's no reason to send beach or gym selfies when you both haven't even met since highschool and there's no real friendship there at all. He sounds a bit like a unicorn - likes to prance around and illusive. I don't think he's serious about meeting up with you.
    Last edited by Rose Mosse; 08-26-2019 at 10:19 PM.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Is he married/in a relationship? Sounds like by "family thing" he meant gf/wife. Sounds like he's looking for ego boosts not dating.
    Originally Posted by skittles88
    We have been texting with each other every day since I came back from my trip. He has made several comments about seeing each other but never made a plan. After one comment I asked him to grab a drink after work and he said he couldnít because he had a family thing.

  3. #13
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    You should re-evaluate your standards for what you will put up with as far as friendships or dating, otherwise you may find yourself doormatted often in interactions. Personally, I have no tolerance for flakes or wimps and this guy sounds like he meets both categories. Maybe you like that sort of thing or the idea of hoping he is interested. Even if he was, I'm not sure what he has shown in his actions that would be attractive to you.

    That said, to prevent this from dragging on, call him out on his flakiness by suggesting a day and time to meet. If he doesn't accept or counter with a different day and time, that should give you everything you need to know about him which is that he will not follow-through. At that point, you may want to fade out from contact with him.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Is he married/in a relationship? Sounds like by "family thing" he meant gf/wife. Sounds like he's looking for ego boosts not dating.
    Yaaaaa this is what I was thinking too...things are a little boring with the relationship/ or an LDR so maybe looking for an emotional affair/attention.

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  6. #15
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by smackie9
    Yaaaaa this is what I was thinking too...things are a little boring with the relationship/ or an LDR so maybe looking for an emotional affair/attention.
    Sounds about right to me... then he gets scarred when it approaches reality!

  7. #16
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by smackie9
    Yaaaaa this is what I was thinking too...things are a little boring with the relationship/ or an LDR so maybe looking for an emotional affair/attention.
    and if he didn't dangle something, you wouldn't have stayed interested as long as you have.

  8. #17
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    Those are all things he SAYS. What has he actually DONE to make shopping together or watching TV together happen?

  9. #18
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    Ok thanks for the responses. Iím just frustrated because heís the one thatís always texting me. Why keep checking in when you arenít interested? It makes me feel extremely foolish.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by skittles88
    Ok thanks for the responses. Iím just frustrated because heís the one thatís always texting me. Why keep checking in when you arenít interested? It makes me feel extremely foolish.
    Why? Because he can. Texting is easy and it's fun for him to see if you'll respond. So don't respond or respond politely "thanks for your text. I'm a bit too busy to text back and forth these days - perhaps we'll meet again -just let me know when you're free and we'll see if we can set up a plan."

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by skittles88
    Ok thanks for the responses. Iím just frustrated because heís the one thatís always texting me. Why keep checking in when you arenít interested? It makes me feel extremely foolish.
    Because texting is all he needs to feel fulfilled, without having to put in the extra effort of *gasp* meeting you face-to-face.

    Maybe he likes the idea of having a pen pal, as well as the ego boost & attention, who knows. My guess is that texting with you makes him feel less lonely, and as if he has someone.

    But the fact of the matter is, if this guy wanted to meet in person, heíd be making it happen, ASAP.

    Iíd back off from the texting entirely, and if you really want to test his intentions (or call his bluff), Iíd recommend sending a text to him similar to what Batya suggested above. His response will tell you everything you need to know.

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