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About James516

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  1. You're a couple of friends, not a dating couple. Clearly you're attracted, she must recognize in some way that you have Lawrence Nightingale Syndrome in which you're going to hang around to save her from her problems and hope to be rewarded with affection. Everyone likes attention, she won't stop that part of it, until usually it happens that she'll tell you about a new guy that isn't you. So the choice is yours, you can hang out having pj and hugging parties with her for as long as you want. At some point it will get old, and you're going to resent the effort wasted. It would be benefici
  2. Yo-yo meets string for this one. Sorry. This is terrible for 4 months of dating, and cannot be good for your long term self esteem if you keep putting up with being dangled. He really is not into you. I have done this sort of thing to past women to discourage them, so I recognize the obvious signs. Most people wouldn't do this with even an acquaintance. You did good to communicate your feelings. Now it is time to think quickly about moving on.
  3. You can put a positive spin on it - you managed to squeeze 7 months out of calling someone you never met your "boyfriend." Great to have that when needing to share the status with friends and family. Probably the drama and arguments were somehow satisfying to have some sort of interaction with a guy as well. But now he's clearly had enough. Make it a good breakup, maybe introduce a new digital dude to the picture for one final angry outburst to end this. Hopefully, when things return to the opportunity to meet someone in-person, you do not only keep it online.
  4. So a horny old dude who could be the age of your dad yet no maturity to control himself at work plus a divorce and 2 kids yet so immature that he sulks when you don't acknowledge him and texts like a middle schooler....this is what you want to sign up? At 24? This is a sign that it is already time to take an evaluation of were you are at in life, what you have experienced that would make any of this sound acceptable, then learn to avoid people who are a cesspool of dysfunctional disaster. If you continue to go towards people like this, it's going to be a rough couple of years or decades fo
  5. As you are probably aware, there is a big difference between Should Be world and reality. In Should Be world, you should be able to go to HR with this and they will handle it and your boss will congratulate you for your stance against harassment. In reality - your boss can find many ways to be vindictive afterwards, if you even get past HR trying to find blame in your actions so they don't have to deal with it. As is suggested, first talking to her would be best. This can straightforward without drama by saying that you do not like to be touched by anyone so please stop. One or two reminder
  6. To repeat what Dancing said - you're talking out both sides....She's wonderful, but she doesn't pay, it doesn't bother me, but she doesn't pay, she did offer to pay on Valentine's but I didn't want her to, and she hasn't paid, it doesn't bother me, but she doesn't pay, I'm keeping track, but it doesn't bother me, by the way, she hasn't paid.... Pull it together and stop with the Mr Nice routine. You can say all the right things to yourself until the simmering turns into a complete meltdown at some point soon. Just a massive, relationship-ending random outburst of resentment pointed at her t
  7. Part of the package you were apparently very exited about was "standoffish", didn't initiate anything, and yet you're still hanging on hoping to cling to something turning out grand in the future. That's a batch of bad chemistry right there. And dead weight. You can never know what another person is thinking or motives, you have to look at their actions. By date four, she was still acting this way and you were still lapping it up. In other words, you can do better by taking a look at how you pick them and what you're willing to put up with. Hopefully, you learn to put up with less. A re
  8. If this really is a dating relationship and not just a pretend one by name only, then it's clearly a mess by this example. This story should have stopped right at the point that you invited him to an event, and without talking it over with you, he invited several others. He shouldn't do that, and you shouldn't have let it go by. The plans should have been discussed by you both. A real conversation, not one with emojis or abbreviations. Further down this lack of communication, you can't say one thing and hope for a different outcome as in telling him to go and you'll meet him there, then get
  9. It is doubtful the other women are staring at him for eye contact accounting, and instead are behaving normally. Like a kidney stone, a crush will pass. In the meantime, remember your behavior even when subtle and he isn't interested, is most likely still uncomfortable to him. It would be helpful to focus on your job and chat with others for a while.
  10. The reason could span as far as she didn't get the text, or gave you two tries with sex and wasn't pleased, or she is in panic mode that this is a potential relationship. Wide range. Instead of guessing, as Sarah suggested, this is a time to use the phone function of your phone and call. And of course, be sure to not have any tone in your voice such as "You didn't return MY text." Just a casual - "Hey, checking on hiking on Saturday, you may have missed my text." It will give her a chance to say anything she is thinking.
  11. The title of your post is as passive as it gets "How should I feel about this?" It appears you need strangers to tell you how to feel and that leaves little doubt that she has had to call the shots for the entire relationship. It may be beneficial for you to first decide what you would like in this relationship, whether it moves forward or not, and communicate with her about this so you both can be on the same page. It may not be comfortable or lead to a favorable result. But you both are adults, time to develop these skills if not already fully in place.
  12. It is clear that you like him but it doesn't appear you've done anything to step out from the evaluation time. So that is were it will stay, he is a buddy and you are one of the crowd. Which may be a good thing, his enjoyments don't seem to be completely yours. From your post, it is easy to imagine the conversation that would start around date #4 which begins the suggestion phase of dating "So do you have to always be obsessed with games, we need to go out to other places..." Anyway, keep looking for someone who will be more than a buddy.
  13. The problem for you is going to be the damaging long-term storyline you may develop from this - an "amazing connection" from a stranger you met 3 times, and had some long conversations with for a month until he faded out with excuses. The If Only syndrome. A ghost can be anything in your mind because there never was the reality of an actual relationship nor knowing the real person. This will probably impact you when you start to meet other guys and compare them to the thing you thought this was. The solution? Keep using that dating app to meet others so you don't remain stagnant in your life d
  14. So the tally is - cold shoulder, let's-be-friends, and then very limited responses, your self esteem must be on the low side to keep clinging to this. No need to focus on how valid you think her reason is or drive yourself nuts searching for reasons, this is over. You're 22 and there will be many more women and probably more interactions that will suddenly end - some will be by your choice or some may not. Doesn't feel good but it's part of eventually finding a good relationship that will work. In the meantime, you're in a time in your life when you should be sorting through your future li
  15. From your description, it sounds like in your effort not to appear "needy or clingy" that you are appearing about as dull as possible. "Hi?" It is obnoxious to have to keep generating device conversations when the other person doesn't have something legit to say. Yeah, he's probably lost interest from the initial few days. If this was real dating, after a month there would be regular conversations through mutual contact with date nights, and the texts would be supplemental. This sounds more like a social media acquaintanceship.
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