Not to bother him?

I’ve been seeing this guy for a few months. About 3 days ago, we got into an argument and it seemed to escalate so he told me to go away and not bother him anymore. I said ok. There hasn’t been any contact so far. Any thoughts on what I should? Should I just leave him be and wait for him to contact me?

There are so many details here that I'm almost drowning. At that risk, I might ask. What was the argument about? To what extent did it escalate?

without detail, it's hard to say...

He said not to bother him, so dont.

1. What was the argument about? 2. Who started it? 3. Has he acted this way before? 4. How did it escalate exactly?

Thanks for the quick responses, Folks. Really appreciate it.

So here goes...3 days ago he was supposed to sleep over at my place. He likes it a little cold and I like it a little warm. He asked to have the temperature lowered and I said I already did and it should be ok shortly.

He asked me again to do something...like open the window I guess. I was just getting over a cold and so I said to him “you’re making me uncomfortable in my own place”. He took offense to this and left.

I texted him 1/2 hour later and told him that he should have patience and not just leave like that. We got into a text disagreement...back and forth about how I shouldn’t have said “your place” and that I was stressing on it.

I told him that it is my place and I wasn’t stressing on that but more of that he was making me feel uncomfortable in my own place. He didn’t understand my point and told me to stop justifying my actions. I told him I wasn’t justifying and that I was just explaining because I didn’t think I said anything wrong.

This is when he told me to go away and stop bothering him....to which I said “alright I will”.

So it’s been exactly 3 days now of no contact.

Daisy - Regarding your question #3, he has said “go away” to me a couple of times before. He has said “f@$k off” to me about 3 times. The last time he told me to “f&$k off”, I told him the next time he said it, I would really f&$k off for good. Granted this most recent time he wasn’t crude but “go away” really means that he wants me gone.

So this guy has literally told you to f*ck off, and you're not sure what to do?? Seriously?

Forget about him and find a decent guy, that's what you do.

People sometimes curse in relationships and I have also cursed at him and we have both apologized. However the last time he told me to f*ck off, I told him if he said it again I would really f*ck off for good. He heard me and he was silent.

So fast forward a week later when we came to the disagreement outlined in my 2nd message on here... This is what I need help with.

It’s been 3 days so do I just wait for him to contact me? Or do I contact him first? If I felt I was in the wrong, I would contact him but I don’t feel I did anything wrong. I feel he left my place quickly because he misunderstood me.

Folks - I really appreciate your advice but please read all my messages thoroughly. The advice I would like is on whether I should contact him or wait for him to contact me. After all, he did tell me to go away and not bother him anymore in his texts. So I should just heed that and not bother him, right??

Thanks.

You seem to lack self respect. Why are you even thinking of txting him. He acted like a brat and told u to fck off...IF it were me, I'd off for good. Demand more for yourself.

Someone seriously can’t read all of my texts and is honing in on the f*ck off too much. I HAVE TOLD HIM TO F*CK OFF TOO!!!

Daisy - Regarding your question #3, he has said “go away” to me a couple of times before. He has said “f@$k off” to me about 3 times. The last time he told me to “f&$k off”, I told him the next time he said it, I would really f&$k off for good. Granted this most recent time he wasn’t crude but “go away” really means that he wants me gone.

The first time someone told me to F off would be the last. You should never allow people to isrespect you in this way.

Be done with this jerk!

People sometimes curse in relationships and I have also cursed at him and we have both apologized. However the last time he told me to f*ck off, I told him if he said it again I would really f*ck off for good. He heard me and he was silent.

 

So fast forward a week later when we came to the disagreement outlined in my 2nd message on here... This is what I need help with.

 

It’s been 3 days so do I just wait for him to contact me? Or do I contact him first? If I felt I was in the wrong, I would contact him but I don’t feel I did anything wrong. I feel he left my place quickly because he misunderstood me.

 

Folks - I really appreciate your advice but please read all my messages thoroughly. The advice I would like is on whether I should contact him or wait for him to contact me. After all, he did tell me to go away and not bother him anymore in his texts. So I should just heed that and not bother him, right??

 

 

Thanks.

Read all your of your info. I still do not understand why you would have anything to do with someone who told you to F off. It is unacceptable.

You need to instil some boundaries in your relationships.

Do not reach out and block him. You should expect more from a partner

OP, in all the relationships I have ever had over the years, not one boyfriend has ever seriously told me to eff off. Nor have I ever said that to any of them. It's a little concerning you think this is normal, but it speaks to the level of drama you might be used to accepting and participating in.

Anyway, regarding the most recent argument: to me, it sounds like he manufactured a reason to leave, because for whatever reason, he didn't want to be there anymore. Either that or dude has a seriously short fuse. Neither possibility is good. I would let him stay gone.

OK. You want a plain answer: don't contact him again. If you're arguing over how hot or cold it should be in your apartment, the relationship isn't working out. Plus you both have anger issues. The relationship isn't working out. Dump him and move on.

Op, the way the messages read, and lack of any follow up, it sounds like he was ending your courtship. It's time to move on. Work on your communication skills for your next relationship. This swearing at each other so early in dating when it should be all sunshine and rainbows, fluffy feel good etc, is a red flag.

No, don't contact him. Sounds like he picked a petty fight and used it as an excuse to leave. Forget him. Move on.

It sounds like you broke up. No, do not contact him. Dating this briefly an "escalating argument" usually means it's over.

we got into an argument and it seemed to escalate so he told me to go away and not bother him anymore. Should I just leave him be and wait for him to contact me?

So I should just heed that and not bother him, right??

I’ve been seeing this guy for a few months. About 3 days ago, we got into an argument and it seemed to escalate o he told me to go away and not bother him anymore. I said ok. There hasn’t been any contact so far. Any thoughts on what I should? Should I just leave him be and wait for him to contact me?

You do what he tells you .... DON'T bother him anymore. He says go away? Good, then STAY away, preferably forever. I would head for the hills so fast and keep walking. He sounds like a real jerk too, swearing, telling you to f off etc etc. All this crap and only dating a few months. Yep, I'd be gone forever. Self-respect.

You both are already saying eff off a few months into seeing each other? Not good.

Truth be told, it doesn't matter how long you've been together, you shouldn't be speaking to each other like that. It's very disrespectful and goes to show that you don't belong together.

Take this as a miss and move on.

Raise your bar. If you believe that it's okay for people to swear at one another in the course of a loving relationship, then you've been conditioned in a pretty rough environment. That comes with its own set of problems and can seriously limit your exposure to better work, friendship and romantic relationships.

Whenever people accept verbal slurs as 'normal,' they don't recognize how this will block their access to people who were raised to disallow that kind of mistreatment. While some people learn to clean up their speech to keep better jobs, it may not occur to them that upholding the same standards in their private lives will seriously upgrade their quality of friends and lovers. So the nasty speech they freely spew in mixed company will screen down their access to ONLY people who are willing to match the same level of nasty.

So if two people already tolerate verbal mistreatment without considering it mistreatment, how can either know where the other will draw a line? A 'trash mouth' escalates drama in order to be 'heard' above the noise--and that's why self-respecting people won't form relationships with them.

If you'll raise your bar for relationships to one of respectful speech--at a minimum--then you won't cross that line yourself. It will open your world of social interaction to allow you 'in' to friendships and romances that would otherwise reject nasty speech. From there, you're on a level playing field where lines of offense are clearly drawn, and anyone who would tell you to f' off would be someone you'd gladly leave behind.

Head high, and do NOT contact this guy.