Women: Is a man being a sports fan positive/negative/neutral

[Unreasonable]

I am wondering since I am dating again if I should brush up on sports just so that it can be a topic of conversation at least.  I'm not a big sports fan and probably won't ever want it to be a big part of my life but I can't help but feel insecure that this isn't "manly" even if a woman isn't really into sports herself.  And she may be thinking how am I going to get along with other men in her life if I say I'm not into sports.

Will most women judge me negatively if I am not into sports?

[Seraphim]

I don’t give a rat’s fanny about sports 99.9 % of the time . I only go because my husband LOVES it . His sister LOVES sports. There are women who enjoy it and those who don’t . 

[MissCanuck]

17 minutes ago, Unreasonable said:

Will most women judge me negatively if I am not into sports?

Most women won't think twice about it, no. 

 

[spinstermanquee]

Gee I thought I married the only guy on the planet who doesn't give a fig about sports, LOL!

When I was single, it was definitely a positive for me.  😉 I never liked being a football widow.

Also, if someone's idea of a good time was watching golf on TV it was an automatic disqualifier.

Mainly, don't try to be something you're not.  When I was VERY young I tried to like football but it just never "took" and I finally decided it was okay to admit i'm not a sports fan.

[bluecastle]

14 minutes ago, Unreasonable said:

I am wondering since I am dating again if I should brush up on sports just so that it can be a topic of conversation at least. 

Why can't a topic of conversation be your disinterest in sports? A conversation that, over time, could open a window into  a chat about men and women, and your own occasional hangups on the rigid ideas and ideals about what is "manly" vs what is not? Seems a far more compelling line of chitchat than "That catch was legendary!"

As someone who likes sports, if in a non-obsessive way, I've had some wonderful and lively chats with people, men and women, romantic and platonic, about just this topic: winding and wandering riffs on why sports are amazing or boring, meaningful or meaningless, and so on. If all of those people saw sports in exactly the way I did—well, those conversations wouldn't be nearly as memorable, enlivening, and enlightening. 

Moral of the story: I think what people are drawn to, generally, is not so much shared interests as people who are interested in people, in the world around them. This can be places where viewpoints align, and where they do not. No need, in short, to feign interest in things as a preemptive means of connecting to people who exist only in your imagination at present. That's like wearing clothes that aren't comfortable in the hopes of finding comfort. 

[mylolita]

Hey Unreasonable!

You can only be but yourself! And there is nothing wrong with that! No point pretending or trying to get into a subject you have no real affinity or interest for, in the hopes of giving yourself perceived broader appeal! 

You wanna bag someone who is going to be into the real you!

I always think, personally, aligning with someone on their principles, personality, and where their dreams and ambitions lie is more important than actual hobbies or solid interests. And, I don't think anyone really wants to be with a soundboard/echo chamber partner. Part of the fun of meeting someone new is getting exposed to different opinions, hobbies, interests, ideas! All of it!

My husband is massively into boxing, and did a lot of boxing himself as a featherweight (he's only small) in his younger years! A lot of his friends boxed in the army as well, or were cage fighters or kick boxers. I just so happened to LOVE watching any decent sized fight! Which can be quite unusual for a girl! But I'm definitely not into football (British girl here!) and golf, tennis, rugby, The Olympics and anything else bore me! But, if I met a guy who wasn't into sports but had other interests and passions, it wouldn't bother me, as long as we aligned on the bigger picture stuff, and got on in general like a house on fire!

I don't think it matters in the grand scheme of things Unreasonable!

Just be yourself, and be proud to like what you like!

x

[boltnrun]

I love sports and would not be interested in dating a man who either didn't also love sports or who pretended to like them just to get dates 🙂

However, MANY of my female friends have zero interest in sports and would be happy to date a man who also wasn't interested in them. They would prefer to spend their weekends at flea markets, wine tasting, going on picnics, visiting museums and art galleries, going to a movie or going out to brunch.

I think you're fine. Don't try to force yourself to be interested in something if you aren't. I doubt it would reduce your dating pool very much if at all. 

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Unreasonable said:

 I can't help but feel insecure that this isn't "manly" even if a woman isn't really into sports herself.  

Be yourself. Don't put on an act to "appear manly". Many women will appreciate whatever real interests you have instead of sports. If they don't appreciate you for who you are, it's not a good match. So putting on an act only attracts the wrong type for you.

[spinstermanquee]

Ha!  WM2 strikes again ^^

Actually when guys are trying to be [whatever they think is] "manly," it could be a huge turnoff, ymmv.  I remember one date I went on with my future husband when he showed me his Achilles Heel - vulnerability about his young daughter's well being - for me it signaled his humanity and it was a big plus.

[redswim30]

1 hour ago, Unreasonable said:

I am wondering since I am dating again if I should brush up on sports just so that it can be a topic of conversation at least.  I'm not a big sports fan and probably won't ever want it to be a big part of my life but I can't help but feel insecure that this isn't "manly" even if a woman isn't really into sports herself.  And she may be thinking how am I going to get along with other men in her life if I say I'm not into sports.

Will most women judge me negatively if I am not into sports?

IMVHO, do not "brush up" on things you aren't actually interested in.   

Truth- I do not like sports overall and if I were still single, if a man started in with sports and how much he likes them/keeps up with them- It wouldn't necessarily be a deal breaker, but I WOULD think we weren't compatible and he wouldn't be compatible with my family and friends that are nerds/gamers/intellectuals.   Even best case scenario, as she gets to know you she may be upset that you feigned interest in something (whether she likes it or not)

I personally was never into guys that were hardcore into sports to prove how "macho" they are.   Don't potentially turn off a woman you might be compatible with by trying to be someone you aren't. 

Not all women care about sports  *raises hand* 

[smackie9]

Be like me...I don't go out of my way to watch sports, but I can on occasion enjoy watching a game at the pub or with a group. If Golf is on the tube, I'll watch it. If any one has free hockey tickets I'm so in. It's not that hard to figure out the latest stats, etc. No woman expects you to be a total sport fan, but maybe have some working knowledge of the sport will be satisfactory. 

[Cherylyn]

My husband and sons are sports fans especially basketball and baseball but they're not fanatical about it nor do they frequent spectator sports either.  They enjoy sports but it doesn't infringe on together time whatsoever. 

As for you,  as a lady,  I wouldn't care if a man wasn't in the least bit interested in sports.  There are more interesting topics in this world other than sports which isn't everyone's interest.

However, regarding sports,  I prefer a man who is at least fit and takes good care of his health.  I'm not referring to anything hardcore but at least includes exercise and eating healthy as a habit. 

I hear what you're saying though.  A lot of social events such as Super Bowl parties at home or away tend to be male dominated social activities.  You are fine to politely decline if you don't want to be included in these types of social gatherings.  Not everyone is into this type of scene. 

Not every woman thinks that it's manly to be very sports minded.  I for one don't.

Even if a woman isn't sports minded,  it shouldn't be a problem to find a woman who shares your similar likes and dislikes.  Don't worry!

[Batya33]

Was never a sports fan and I’d actually do homework before a date if the guy was. I did like going to basketball games and through my work got to meet some professional athletes.  Also liked tennis matches. 
Husband is a huge baseball fan of our hometown team. Forever.  And now so is our son. So I’ve gone to a couple of games and had a really good time. I also try to keep track of how our beloved team is doing. I’d go to more games if given the opportunity.  And I like so much how my husband and son bond over it. Husband does fantasy baseball but not for $ or real gambling. I don’t. I have no clue how it works !!

but I didn’t care AT ALL if the men I dated were sports fans. Or were athletic. often it was a negative because if they were really into it it could take up a lot of time. 
Some of my middle aged friends now play pickleball and it seems to be a great way to meet people. 

[Tinydance]

I'm a 38-year-old woman. While I'm not necessarily against dating a guy who is into sports, my actual preference is that the guy WASN'T into sports lol This is because I dislike/don't care about sport and don't know basically anything about it. When people talk about sport my eyes just glaze over lol If the guy was super into sport I think maybe I couldn't date him because I couldn't share his interest at all. 

I think it just depends what sort of women you date because none of my female friends like sport either or date guys who are crazy about sport. I think it's just about finding a like minded woman who doesn't like sport either. I'm not into your typical alpha guys who are gym junkies, love sport, are into cars.  Most guys I dated were what you would call nerds and that's my actual type. They were into board games, video games, Dundeons and Dragons, sci-fi, World of Warcraft, YouTubers, Star Wars, etc. 

[catfeeder]

One of the things I like most about getting to know people is learning what interests them and how much about it they'd enjoy sharing with me. 

It makes no sense to try to market yourself as all things to all people. That would be an awful lot of sports to bone up on! And what if you exhaust yourself learning one sport while the person you fall for hates that sport and loves another?

Consider the interests you actually love, and shoot for more exposure to those. You'll thank yourself later.

[Wiseman2]

12 hours ago, Unreasonable said:

 I should brush up on sports just so that it can be a topic of conversation at least.  

Can you imagine if a woman you dated thought like this too?

What if she brushed up on and pretended to be into sports to appeal to men?

Imagine the two of you sitting there watching the game both secretly hating it? Does that make sense?

[MrMan1983]

15 hours ago, Unreasonable said:

I am wondering since I am dating again if I should brush up on sports just so that it can be a topic of conversation at least.  I'm not a big sports fan and probably won't ever want it to be a big part of my life but I can't help but feel insecure that this isn't "manly" even if a woman isn't really into sports herself.  And she may be thinking how am I going to get along with other men in her life if I say I'm not into sports.

Will most women judge me negatively if I am not into sports?

I'm a huge sports fan and to be honest it doesn't always help, often women aren't even interested in sports. They often like the fact I actually play sports and stay healthy though so depends if you mean as a fan or as a participant but even then wouldn't say it's of huge importance if you look after your body and health in other ways.

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, MrMan1983 said:

I'm a huge sports fan and to be honest it doesn't always help, often women aren't even interested in sports. They often like the fact I actually play sports and stay healthy though so depends if you mean as a fan or as a participant but even then wouldn't say it's of huge importance if you look after your body and health in other ways.

Yes, I'm not into sports but am into staying fit, exercising (but not body building -not for me).  My husband as I wrote is a huge baseball fan is into staying fit and is not an alpha male or a nerd- I hate those labels - he's an individual who loves baseball, math, classical music and jazz, old sitcoms, and world travel.  He has his own tool box and is handy like that. He's a mish mash.  Date people who think that way -who treat people as individuals -I know dating sites can lend themselves to categorizations but get past that ASAP -life is more fun that way IMO.