What does it mean when he say “you are mine”

[Ms v]

I am dating a guy only 2 dates and we had sex for the first time last night however while having sex he says “you are mine” . He said it 3 times last night while having sex. We did more sex during the night and again he said it.

what does this mean? Or is it just a fetish?

[Capricorn3]

Why not ask HIM?  If you can get naked with a guy, you can surely ask him what he means, right?  I mean, no-one can possibly know what is going on inside his head.  Ask him.

[Kwothe28]

2 hours ago, Ms v said:

what does this mean?

Means that he is Shang Tsung, run...

Joking aside who knows? Maybe its some weird bed game of his? Maybe he trully believes by having sex he now "owns" you? You really need to ask him.

[MissCanuck]

That would creep me out coming from a guy I barely know. 

 

 

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, Ms v said:

 while having sex he says “you are mine” . He said it 3 times last night while having sex. 

Are you hoping for things to process past hookups? It sounds like pillow talk during sex, but it seems you're hoping it means you're exclusive?

[DarkCh0c0]

3 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

That would creep me out coming from a guy I barely know

Same 100%. It sounds possessive.

[Batya33]

I think that is so lovely and sweet when it's a committed couple who know each other and who know what it means to them (often it's just a sentiment like on Valentine's Day "be my valentine/you are mine" or it can be the way they turn each other on or it can be understood as "you belong to me" which doesn't need to be in the overly controlling way at all).  But yes if you are comfortable getting naked certainly ask him later why he said that.  

[waffle]

That was an "in the moment" thing, like, you were his right then.  Which is true, I guess, you were "his" at that very moment.  If you ask him about it now he may or may not remember saying that.

[HeartGoesOn]

Why would you hesitate to ask him?  I would think it would be much easier to ask him a simple question, rather than get naked and have sex with someone you barely know

 

[Lambert]

Hmmm.... someone you barely know, says something that is better suited for a committed couple.  Maybe it's gibberish or he's weird.  Who can say?  

What do you think? Do you like it?  Is it weird.  What about him?

If you like him maybe talk to him? 

If you are already on the fence about not liking him?  Take this as a sign that you're not that into him... 

He could think its romantic.... LOL

[catfeeder]

On 12/18/2022 at 2:21 AM, MissCanuck said:

That would creep me out coming from a guy I barely know. 

Exactly what was thinking.

[Coily]

I’m with waffle on this, it sounds like a heat of the moment thing. An ex could have thought it was a turn on, and he thought it was a universal idea. I had an ex who asked to be called all sorts of dirty  things during sex, but would look daggers at you outside the bedroom.

In the midst of sex people can say things more possessive than they really mean outside the bedroom. If it bothers you talk to him about it, if you can’t communicate now when will you ever?

[Debsterism]

On 12/17/2022 at 7:43 PM, Ms v said:

I am dating a guy only 2 dates and we had sex for the first time last night however while having sex he says “you are mine” . He said it 3 times last night while having sex. We did more sex during the night and again he said it.

what does this mean? Or is it just a fetish?

 It means he is love bombing you... the full court press... trying to convince you that you have more of a commitment with him than you really do. His goal is to make sure the he has full and complete access to the cooch, but that you cut off any and every other guy. Saying it during intimacy is a way to get into your emotions and head more easily so you believe whatever he says to you. During sex most people are more vulnerable to suggestion, like  hypnosis. It's nothing but MIND CONTROL GAME. 

What you should have done is tell him to stop saying that because you are no one's property. 

Even now you should reference that and correct him, reminding him to never say any crap like that to you again. Tell him you've only had 2 dates, you are not a couple, and that he has no stake of ownership in your personage. Then go out with other guys to reinforce it. This little knucklehead player thinks he is slick! Flip his game back on him and date other people so he understands you aren't just talking.

[dias]

1 hour ago, Debsterism said:

Saying it during intimacy is a way to get into your emotions and head more easily so you believe whatever he says to you. During sex Before having a climax most people women are more vulnerable to suggestion, like  hypnosis. It's nothing but MIND CONTROL GAME. 

Finally someone got it. 

[Jaunty]

Under the circumstances, it probably meant nothing.  

[Ms v]

Well I asked him yesterday about what he said that night saying to me “ you”re mine” and he said that he does get obsessive.  
We had sex prior to the conversation about it and he didn’t say anything at all . 



 

[Batya33]

3 minutes ago, Ms v said:

Well I asked him yesterday about what he said that night saying to me “ you”re mine” and he said that he does get obsessive.  
We had sex prior to the conversation about it and he didn’t say anything at all . 



 

Did you ask him any follow up? How do you feel about his explanation?

[DarkCh0c0]

5 minutes ago, Ms v said:

he said that he does get obsessive

🚩🚩

[smackie9]

This has creep factor all over it. 😬

[waffle]

On 12/23/2022 at 8:50 AM, Ms v said:

Well I asked him yesterday about what he said that night saying to me “ you”re mine” and he said that he does get obsessive.  
We had sex prior to the conversation about it and he didn’t say anything at all . 



 

Thanks for the update.

[Jaunty]

What do you think?  Are you his?  Is he yours?  Are you in some kind of relationship or just randomly hooking up for casual sex here and there?

[Ms v]

We are seeing each other however he said he doesn’t want serious relationship and we see each other exclusively he says . But he acts like my boyfriend, we both affectionate , caring, respectful etc and we message each other all day long . I am confused but he seems to be giving me what I need as in he acts like a boyfriend but as he works 12 hour days he find hard to commit to relationship however he acts like a boyfriend so I’m not seeing anything different . The words he says “your mine” , shows he is possessive but he is not at all. 

[Batya33]

30 minutes ago, Ms v said:

We are seeing each other however he said he doesn’t want serious relationship and we see each other exclusively he says . But he acts like my boyfriend, we both affectionate , caring, respectful etc and we message each other all day long . I am confused but he seems to be giving me what I need as in he acts like a boyfriend but as he works 12 hour days he find hard to commit to relationship however he acts like a boyfriend so I’m not seeing anything different . The words he says “your mine” , shows he is possessive but he is not at all. 

I think you are rationalizing staying with him.  Why? Are you afraid of being "alone?" How is it ok that he gets to be exclusive with you but there's no serious potential? Does he mean sexually monogamous because exclusivity usually the point is to grow something serious. So he gets to "act" like a boyfriend but no real emotional commitment and no commitment to being with you in the future in a marriage or like marriage relationship.

  Are you good with that? Why are you confused? He's telling you directly he's not that into you -he doesn't see serious potential.  Maybe you're confused because you're lying to yourself.  That can be quite confusing  and burying your head in the sand is confusing yourself as well.

[DarkCh0c0]

3 hours ago, Ms v said:

The words he says “your mine” , shows he is possessive but he is not at all.

1. Yet he told you he gets obsessive.

2. He doesn't want the same thing as you. You need a relationship. He needs sex and affection.

3. He acts like a boyfriend? A boyfriend would commit to you and ask you to be gf. So, NO. He does not act fully like a bf. He's acting like some kind of f* buddy or fwb.

It's up for you to choose whether you want to see the red flags and run (like most women would do), or settle for a man not wanting to commit to you, but who will get slowly obsessive.

How old are you two? How long have you known him and why did you sleep with him so quickly? It seems for me that you caught feelings for him and that you're willing to settle for some fwb role. I do not recommend that. I recommend standing up for what you want and walking away to find a man who is on the same page as you.

You can do better.

[safemeet]

"When you're being intimate, people might say things like that, even if it seems shallow. But you should figure out if he truly cares about you, not just in those moments."