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Everything posted by Debsterism

  1. Your best bet is to ask some women you trust what you could do to improve yourself and your interactions with the opposite sex. From head to toe, from voice quality to conversation, tell them to give it to you straight. Listen without interrupting or arguing back. Take notes. Then start working on the things one by one. Men who want to get women but aren't being successful should listen to women's thoughts and opinions about self-improvement. You seem willing to work hard but it seems you have just been exerting energy in the wrong direction. Try this approach and see what happens!
  2. Nope. Not sure why you would think that. Nothing about the wording was funny or sarcastic. Just to be clear, I was being 100% real with her. She doesn't need sarcasm or jokes right now, she needs some hard core reality and facts about life. She is young enough to be my daughter (don't let my youthful good looks fool ya!) and I've lived many decades watching, looking, experience and observing people in relationships. This relationship is dead. They are NOT married. So no therapy or counseling is warranted. All they need to do is work out custody, child support, and property distribution and get
  3. This relationship is DEAD. Instead of trying to beat a dead horse and find a way to make a man with whom you are completely incompatible at this stage of life fit, it is best to break things off and arrange what you are going to do with the house and the kid. People forget that the decade of life that we change the most is between 17 and 27. MAN OH MAN! What you thought was fabulous, that you could deal with, that wasn't "so bad" at the top end of that decade becomes a nightmare when you do finally grow into the person you were meant to be in your late 20s/early 30s. You look back and wo
  4. Small children need to be in bed no later than 7:30 PM to get proper rest. They should start winding down with warm baths, pjs and stories at 6:30. No child should EVER sleep in the bed with the parents. I dont know who thought that was a good idea, but it destroys adult relationships. You cannot get busy and be romantic and have pillow talk with your man with some brat kid lying between you. Put that kid in its own room and it's own bed immediately. That is a bad habit that you never should have started and he is pointing out how you are putting a blockade against intimacy with your man
  5. If he is cleaning up after them and his money is being used for them, it is very much his business.
  6. I never said she would tell her who to have in her house! I said that she should remove HERSELF from that situation by never going to their home again. The Mother is a trip to ME because if anything she should be neutral, not get herself involved between the two girls by choosing to defend the bully. Instead of jumping to her defense, a normal woman who is a parent would have asked questions like "sounds like you two have a history. Care to tell me about it? I don't want anyone in my home to feel uncomfortable to the point they have panic attacks!" WHether it is your child or someone else's,
  7. You are already broken up. What is there left of a close romantic relationship here? You are in two different countries and will be for years! Trying to salvage this situation already taking it's last breaths is a waste of time and energy. Just stop contacting him and let it finish dying. Or if you are the type that prefers "closure" then send him a text that says "this makes no sense anymore so I'm ending things. Thanks for the memories. Be safe and healthy." Done.
  8. As stated, this girl is NOT the brother's girlfriend. I suspect she sought out this brother simply to create the drama that she is doing right now to break this couple up. She is in essence continuing to bully the OP in an underhanded passive aggressive way using the brother and "friendship" to get to her. The brother would be smart to tell the chick he knows what she is up to and to cease all contact with her. Their "friendship" is new and by aligning himself with this trainwreck he is showing a marked disloyalty to his own brother. The mother is a piece of work and full of shyt i
  9. Stop wasting your time. He is all messed up in the head for real OR he is playing mind games to make you jump through hoops so he can control you with accusations. Either way this is stupid and a waste of your time and energy and life. Just tell him he needs to see a shrink about his drama from the past and that life moves on. He wants to live in yesteryear, nobody can stop him. But let him know you ain't gonna be bothered and are not gonna live in the past with him. Nor are you gonna go through any changes to do time for a crime you didn't commit. Then hang up and block Mr. Loser
  10. Girl stop it! You have a damn pen pal that's it! You are free to interact with online and in person any man you please. He is NOT your man. You are NOT his girlfriend. And make sure you don't fall for the okey doke and send him any gifts, money, or half naked pictures of you. Typical online scam artist persona of working in a foreign country. LIES! Just deal with him if you want to for the sheer entertainment value. But stop putting all this emotion into a pen pal. Makes no sense.
  11. How old are these adult children? Did you move into her house or them into yours? How long have you lived with them? Are you paying half of the bills in the house - half the food, water power, mortgage, etc. or does she cover everything? Are you prepared to exit the relationship with a place to stay or are you stuck there for the time being? They have jobs, I assume you do as well? Who cleans up after them - does she do it or does she expect you to pitch in and clean up after HER kids? I have so many questions!
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