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Annoyed by partner in new relationship


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I started dating him four months ago and we made things official about a month ago. Everything was good, but from the beginning I wasn't really attracted to him. I've had attraction grow in the past for me and he is a really nice guy, so I waited it out and the attraction seemed to grow. Now a month into us being "official" I feel like I am deeply annoyed by everything he does lately. I have just been chalking it up to hormones and PMS but I'm afraid it's going beyond that. I feel annoyed by little things he does, things he says and how he looks some days. This leads to me calling him out for annoying things he doesn't even know he is doing and snapping at him and being a , picking fights and he doesn't deserve that.


Because of the pandemic, we have been spending a lot of time together as he is off work and he insists on driving me to work everyday so I don't have to take the bus. This lead to us spending lots of time together after work and him spending the night very often.


I am his first relationship at 27 and he also was a virgin until he met me, so I feel like he got a little bit clingy after we had sex for the first time.


I brought it up to him that he sort of made it impossible for me to not be his girlfriend. He was treating me so much, taking me out, buying me expensive gifts and obviously trying to "win" me over, but he denies it and says he was just trying to be nice.


I think I made a big mistake getting in a relationship with him. I don't want to hurt him, but I also don't want to end things because I am not sure if hormones and just spending a lot of time together is causing me to feel this way. He lives with his parents and just rented an apartment. He spoke about wanting to move out so I sent him a few apartment rental listings and he ended up signing the lease for one of them and I feel like he wouldn't have if it wasn't for me, and if I break up with him I know he might regret it.


He has been so good to me and I have just been a terrible person to him and I am feeling guilty about having thoughts of breaking up with him.

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Sorry to hear this. This is very easy to fix. You are suffocating each other with the sleepovers too much too soon. Let him drop you off then stop being his BnB with benefits. Let him go home so you both get some breathing room. Don't trade sex for rides, offer him money or dinner instead.

from the beginning I wasn't really attracted to him. we have been spending a lot of time together as he is off work and he insists on driving me to work everyday so I don't have to take the bus. This lead to us spending lots of time together after work and him spending the night very often.
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Seeing each other daily at four months in is not the normal pace of dating. Tell him you want to establish a twice a week get together to get back on the track you should be on right now. And then you can see if things improve or not. If not, of course it's upsetting to break up with someone when it's not working, but you can't sacrifice your life for someone who's not your match. He's an adult. If he regrets the lease, he'll figure it out.

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It sounds like you really don't like him enough to be in a relationship. He could do whatever he wants to try to "win you over" but ultimately you decided to be his girlfriend. Don't blame it on him as if he forced you. Reflect on your standards. Don't settle for people you feel little attraction to just because they are nice to you and then get annoyed with them being themselves.

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Oh the hormones! This is very real fir me. I don't even realize its my hormones until I get my period.


Don't dump him flat. He sounds nice.


I would try talking to him first. If he hasnt really had a relationship and you're his first sexual experience, he probably needs you to tell him, that spending every night together etc is too much, too soon and cause things to burn out.


See if you can get him to simmer down, while you ride out the hormonal time. Then you'll know for sure what's what. you'll see things more clearly and you'll learn whether he's able to work out issues based on your needs, too.


And! Its great he's getting his own place. He may appreciate his own independence and pull back from the need to be at your place. You know how it is, you get a new place, you want to be there.

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Well to be honest it sounds like overall you're not really into him. I think that feelings and attraction can't actually be forced, and you've been trying to force them from the beginning. While I do think that spending too much time together early on is maybe moving too fast....But in a serious relationship you might eventually move in together. And if everything your partner says and does already really annoys you, that's not a good sign. You should be able to spend extended periods of time with your partner and enjoy their company. Your boyfriend sounds like a nice guy but that doesn't mean he's the right guy for you. I think the right thing would be for you to break it off.

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What you are doing and the way you are treating him right now is way more cruel than simply breaking up.


As for the apartment, it's not about you. Give the guy at least some credit for finally moving out of his parents' house like the adult that he is. Whether you are around or not, it will serve him and his future well. Ultimately, this was not your decision but his own.


Btw, dating someone just because they do nice things for you makes you a user. Not a good or nice quality in a person. Think on that one a bit.

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Four months in, wasn't attracted to him to begin with; only now has "seemed to grow." Annoyed by him. Snapping at him. Picking fights. "Being a b*tch."


Scaling things back only works if things were going well at a normal pace, which there's no indication of. He's a nice guy whose wallet and vehicle you get to enjoy, and that's about that. There's no harm in getting blindsided by Fifth Ave. purse for your birthday or letting your partner drive you to work for a week while your car's in the shop. Obviously you didn't and aren't putting a gun to his head. But I know personally, I'd feel like an incredibly ****ty person accepting constant gifts and favors from someone I for all intents and purposes had no respect for, all while feigning an interest in remaining with them. At some point, "it's their money and their time" loses its luster as a justification.


I'd do the guy a favor and dump him. You really and simply don't like him. And that's fair enough. Conversely, it may be a favor to him to have the learning experience of not over compensating for the sake of relationship security. While it can obviously swing both ways, a lot of guys need to learn the hard way that they need to start looking at their money, time, and indeed themselves as equally valuable as that of the women they're seeing. Frankl,y I'd never date someone who'd never been in a relationship with any kind of conviction. Not a knock; it's just rare anyone is long-term or lifelong material without some notches under their belt.

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I'd be more hurt if some guy stayed with me just because he didn't want to feel guilty for leaving.

You clearly don't like this guy. Not in a way that would be needed in a romantic relationship.

Be kind and let him go so he can find someone who's crazy about him. He deserves that.

It's not your hormones. Your just waiting for him to be someone different than who he is..

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Your heart and soul was never in this new relationship to begin with. It's abnormal to grow bored with the one you're supposed to be in love with.


If you want to break up with him, then do it. You'll have to have the "It's not you, it's me" type of break up conversation with him. Good luck.

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